Five Minutes watching....Winning Time: The Rise of the Lakers Dynasty

I don't watch a lot of movies because, well, at this point I just don't. I don't watch a lot of TV either. As I've said before, a lot of movies and television as of late have become much more niche oriented. And I ain't in their niche. Plus I'm STILL trying to be productive. And do some writing. Well, a little bit, I need to get back to it. I also still have a ton of video games I bought on sale I still want to play. Wait, I don't watch TV, play games or write...what am I doing?  

Winning Time surprised me by being a pretty good show.

But, Winning Time on NOT the true story of the behind the scenes of the creation of the Los Angeles Lakers basketball dynasty, which also just coincidentally is the beginning of the rise of the modern NBA. It's just not. It says so in the bumper of every episode. It states clearly it's all be dramatized. It is Historical Fiction, right up there with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Each week there is a podcast and about twenty Youtube shows picking through the script looking for where they stretched if not outright lied about what happened. This is very clear.

And yet people are upset that the show is not a documentary. Go figure.

The show is an ensemble piece, following the story of hedonistic wheeler-dealer owner Dr. Jerry Buss taking a big gamble on basketball, the slow growth of Pat Riley from junior announcer to legendary coach, and the maturation of Magic Johnson from college star to NBA superstardom. Along the way you learn about some the machinations Dr. Buss had to pull off to make it all work, a fresh look at a long forgotten coaching drama and see an idea of the shift from the young wet behind the ears rookie Ervin learning the ropes to Magic, the leader of a championship team. And while it's a great story, it's there is a lot of bullshit. A lot. 

It's a...um, gumbo if you will, of fact and fiction for dramatic purposes. Norm Nixon, the point guard of the Lakers when Magic was drafted has explained that no, he did not play Magic one on one while wearing a white fur coat at a party the summer before the rookie's first year. But it's a hell of scene. Jerry West is portrayed as angrily obsessed with winning. But a lot of this version of him are as I understand it, is taken from his own stories about his life, in that he broke a lot of golf clubs and could not watch the teams he assembled actually play the games. Pat Riley had left the announcing booth long before signing on as Westhead's assistant, but the idea of him sending down notes to the sidelines during games shows a hunger. Dr. Jerry Buss comes across as a guy with everything to lose but who refuses to back away from the table. Well, I understand his daughter is very involved in the show, so maybe that part is true. The starting coach that season, the man who actually designed the foundation for the Lakers fabled Showtime offense was only in a coma for three days, not weeks and the fight with Westhead didn't happen. And yes, even the games are out of order, but they way they were arranged builds drama, which is why we watch. I mean, we know the ending...it's in the title of the show, so filling out this space in the middle has to be good television. And it is.  

Good television? You find yourself rooting for characters you didn't even like or notice. Or realizing there is more to a portrayal than there first seemed. Or recognizing a character arc halfway through without the changes being spoon fed to you. Or appreciating the characterization of even the supporting roles. Now, it's not the Wire or Breaking Bad, but it is good writing and very good acting. The editing feels a bit frantic at first, and they do show some portions of games but not much the real drama isn't in the seconds left on the clock but the tension between the front office, coaches and what goes on between dribbles.   

Half the fun of watching are the these characters meet other actors playing other famous people. It is LA after all. From early court-side Jack to Richard Pryor, Iman and Milton Berle, as well as other legendary NBA notables throughout the season, including more than a few unexpected drop-ins and quite a few actual history lessons. .

More, one of the cool aspects of the show is that those actors for the most part fit. And while John C. Reilly and Sean Patrick Small give what are apparently inspired impression of Dr. Buss and Larry Bird, I'm not sure where they even found Quincy Isiah. There are times he appears to become a young Magic Johnson. I don't know if it's the way he holds his face, the angle, the lighting or even a little CGI trickery, but it's there. The actor portraying Kareem I think gives the elder statesman of the game the proper gravitas considering where he was in life. The show takes the time to cover a portion of his personal growth, as well as explain a number of things about a number of other players. Plus, the ball players are all actually tall, it's not camera tricks.

It really is worth a watch. If only to see just what Jerry West is ready to sue everybody involved for.  

Barkeep. One for the Lakers. On Dr. Buss' tab.

Note - Yes, Magic did actually pass on signing with Nike, which at the time made sense. But oh what could have been.

Bar Chatter

Bar Chatter #39
When it's not enough to make a post, but deserves to go out to the world... it's just Bar Chatter.  

I play NBA2K. I took the Magic to the Championship in my second year, don't front. But I also play that other mode. That mode that almost nobody plays but is so interesting to me. That other is Franchise mode, where you have to run a franchise - hire a head coach, figure out the practice focus, set the rotations, decide the pace and style of play, deal with injuries, scout future players and, interestingly enough, manage the SALARY CAP.

I said that to say....HOW IN THE HELL DID THE Lakers DO THIS?

They got Bron Bron and Anthony Davis, somehow snookered a trade that got them the services of Russell Westbrook and now can somehow still get an admittedly older Carmelo Anthony?  I mean, I realize Carmelo is at this point chasing a ring and probably only give you 15 to 20 good minutes a night, but he still putting up double figures. Somebody call the commissioner because something is screwy in Hollywood. Even if it was mathematically possible, and this shouldn't be, the Lakers might be in salary cap hell until 2055 behind this. 

This ain't right ya'll. You couldn't do this with a cheat code and you damn sure shouldn't be able to do this in real life.  

It's like he selling Monorails, I swear...

Who in the hell left the gate open?

Ramblings Post #373
The other big leagues better take notes. This is how you do it. You take the hope and dreams of your fans and coat liberally with flour, seasonings and a brush of corn meal and then deep fry it to a golden brown. Serve with white bread, cole slaw and hot sauce. Sports have a tendency to get stagnant if too much power accumulates in one place for too long. The heroes hang around long enough to become the villains, or whatever the Patriots are currently classified as. But you if you keep the whole shebang in motion, not too much, but enough to keep ALL the fans interested  then good things happen. Or bad depending on your team. But then there is always next year. And use hot sauce with butter base. 

One way to put it is that this NBA off-season has been a dizzying realignment of power, and arms race if you will, as the front offices shift the players around the metaphorical board in an attempt to gain that elusive advantage, that minor edge, needed to be able to call themselves champions in a league where every night everything is in play.

Another way to put is dammmmmnnnnn!

First the Fat Boys break up, and now this. Russell Westbrook is being traded  to the Houston Rockets. Lord Jebus. If you ain't know, Russy plays pro basketball like he got the real life cheat code, able to regularly put up normally elusive triple doubles (double figures in three separate stats) by the end of the third quarter. Smart managers build teams around guys like him. And he's been on a rampage since his running partner KD basically said "let me go get these rings." and headed west. OKC was maybe one good player away from being able to contend with the Warriors, until one of them (KD) went and joined the Warriors. But as long as you had Westbrook, a championship felt just a player and a few jump-shots out of reach. Except of course, for the Warriors. But then this off-season happened. The Lakers beefed up with AD. And Kawhi came out west. And the Warriors look like they're not rebuilding, just reloading. And despite claims of steely eyed resoluteness, somebody in the Midwest blinked. And with shipping out Paul George and this trade, its pretty clear the Thunder are going to follow the 76ers model, rolling into more than the next few drafts with so many picks they might go into rookie shock.

(is that a thing? It is now. Rookie Shock. That's mine.)   

This move also re-unites Westbrook with always exciting (re: loose cannon) James Harden in what might just be the deadliest back-court in the NBA today ...if they can figure out how to share the ball. I'm going to suggest that passing drills be a very big part of the Rockets future practices. And although not a "Big Three", because right now it appears that the current NBA salary structure incentivizes dynamic duos anyway, this pair is going to put the hurt on some folks. The way this off-season is all falling out, these veritable tectonic shifts mean the upcoming season isn't going to be a cakewalk for anyone in either conference.

Finally, here's hoping Chris Paul is taking elocution lessons. With the move to Oklahoma he's going to have to mentor Gilgeous-Alexander and ride rough with pretty much no real help over the next few seasons (if the Thunder don't trade him to Miami?). He's still a baller, but by yourself is hard. He'll be 37 when his current deal is over, ancient in basketball years. Not Vince Carter old...why is he still playing?... but up there. If CP3 is forced to stay I think that the coming seasons of frustration as he suffers the growing pains that come with a front office having a "trust the process" mindset are going to make a spot in the announcer's booth feel like a beach on tropical island. I mean, he does look good in the State Farm commercials. 

Barkeep. Whiskey, and leave the bottle. Because as the league has proved so far, just when you think it's over, it ain't over. Dammmmmnnn.

Found this on Deadspin. Talk about premature.

NBA Free Agency, what hath thou wrought?

Ramblings Post #371
It was on sale, so I'll admit I broke down and bought NB2K19. I mean like a sale sale. Not a Steam Level Sale, but still it was less than $20. And it's not...terrible. Or at least it isn't right now, but I'm certain they'll be turning the servers off in 12 months or so. Then we'll see. I had a few extra bucks and really should have bought myself that purple fake tiger leather jacket with the fake ostrich collar. Probably would have been a better investment.

I'm not going to say it was entertaining watching Stephen A. Smith lament his beloved Knicks have to settle for Julius Randle. I'm lying because it was entertaining, hell, it was downright funny. We all watched as the long standing NY home team disassembled itself, sending the immensely talented Porzingis sent to Dallas and giving itself tons of cap space...to end up with Randle, Taj Gibson, Reggie Bullock and Bobby Portis. No Kyrie Iriving, no Deandre Jordan, not even the gap year listed Kevin Durant. All of them are coming to New York, just not for the team Smith roots for. As he lamented, the Brooklyn Nets just got everything the Knicks fans wanted for Christmas..er, Free Agency.

I will give the NBA its props...the salary cap and all it's creative machinations are doing exactly what it was designed to do, keep the whole league competitive. In the age of the max and super-max contract, building a dynasty is one thing, keeping one in place for more than a few seasons is nigh impossible. Miami held sway for a moment, then Cleveland climbed to the fore, then the Warriors and now who will it be? The Sixers? The Timberwolves? The Jazz? Nobody saw Toronto before they got here, the Lakers look like they're back. And I know nobody was checking the Nets until Sunday night around 6:05pm. Wild and wooly ain't the word for it.

Between the sign-and-trade deals, restricted and unrestricted designations, the pick trading and the rest, maintaining a "Super Team" going forward is going to require another "super team" in the front office. This from a guy who actually plays the GM mode in NBA2K. The Warriors got away with holding the dynasty together for a while, but this year even they've had to spin off valuable pieces like Andre Iguodala and the aforementioned Durant. Although I understand for Durant it was a relationship thing, which is great that you have enough loot to just be able to align your path to be comfortable doing your job.

And aside from the Duke super-senior class that is the Pelicans, which despite my high hopes for Zion I so want that squad to be a bust, the whole of the NBA is in a kind of magical disarray. Which is good and bad. I've always been a team guy, as in I hope my team does great. Others are fans of individual players, as in they follow their favorite player wherever they end up. But the disarray means new combinations of stars, and new hot teams, which will create new excited fans, which all means new money. And incidentally new energy which is good for all of us too. But mostly the money. It also means the team you love might just be rebuilding this year, so suck it up. This year I think Free Agency delivered on both aspects, with teams beefing up and players securing the bag.

At least everyone can take pride that they're not the Wizards. Or the Knicks.

All this, and we still don't know where Kahwi Leonard is going yet! I'm willing to bet it's the Pacers or maybe the Nuggets. I kid. It's probably whoever can get him a good lease deal on 2004 Dodge Durango.

Barkeep. Keep it on ESPN or the NBA channel. And I'll need some paper to keep track. And I need to concentrate, so I'm not drinking. Just a beer.

Wither mine 2K

Ramblings Post #356
I like gaming. I first started gaming on a PC, long before consoles were a big thing, with a game called Cannons. You estimated wind and powder needed to shoot the cannon on the other side of the valley. It was thrilling at the time. At this point if the game is well put together I'll give it a try. At least that's my excuse for Dwarf Fortress, as it is very well put together. But because I'm not totally cerebral, I also enjoy the occasional console masterpiece. Or I did. The more things change...

My affection for the company that produces the better console basketball simulation is long gone. What was a fun little setup that allowed you to live out your NBA superstar fantasies has become a near naked annual digital shakedown. I'm a realist, and I am fully aware that games are not charity or community work and that companies need to turn a profit. I am also fully cognizant that stuff that used to be part of the game is now sold as DLC, as well as this newest development of planned accelerated obsolesce.

As you may know, I'm a Playstation guy. Not that I have anything against XBOX, but I kinda do. Not the point. But my unit was one of the older models with a paltry 500 GB hard drive. It sounds like a lot, and it was when your average game was 35-55 GB. But as the games get more complex, the sizes have also grown, the next big thing - Red Dead Redemption 2 - was supposed to be coming in at 105 GB. I understand now it's just 88 GB, but that's still pretty damn big. It would, er, it will take up almost 20% my hard drive. But my drive was over 90% full. Which means something had to go.

Or did it?

A conversation with the guy at Gamestop, they are actually good for something, kicked off a little research and I eventually stumbled upon a Playstation upgrade kit. At Staples of all places. (Amazon has one too, same kit.) With that in hand it took me a short half hour to switch out the smaller drive for a larger one. I had properly backed up my games - use the backup feature if you do this, don't just save your game files like so many YouTube videos say, otherwise you leave out your settings, backgrounds, and your saved highlights. It was after I reloaded the games when I discovered the issue.

Now, I still have 2K15. I like 2K15 because I play Career Mode and the this is the last one free of much of the dramatics of the modern iterations. Just a touch of story: you start on a 10 day contract and play your way into the league. It eliminates the possibility of Rookie of the year or the Rookie all-star game, but it's still a pretty fair little deal. I understand the new 2K has you start in China and go through the developmental league. Ugh. Why they don't go back to the All-Star game play-in sequence from 2K12 I don't know. Or why with every new year you have to start over instead of letting your character continue like in The Show. In any case, I'd played my first half a season - and I play the full 48 - and my character had become a hot commodity. I was in the midst of a 2 year deal, the league's leading scorer, clocking some endorsements and my team was first in the division.

So I'm checking to make sure it's all back. I had a ton of Witcher 3 DLC, but since it was all free why wouldn't I? My Mafia 3 game picked up like I hadn't even turned off the game. Baseball, sword fighting game, WWII bomber game etc., were all good. I start 2K on my new drive and ...to play my saved 2k game, which I played off-line after they took the game servers down, and my system says it needs to connect to those now non-existent servers.

Yeah.

Now, when I bought the game the servers were still up. Yes, I've had it that long. And after the shut them off I actually restarted. Now after switching out my hard drive, I have to restart a third time? For like serious - serious?

I really don't want a My Career game scripted by Spike Lee, or starting in China, or whatever. It's shame that modern gaming has devolved from "getting what you paid for" into "getting what I want you to have until I need you to buy some more product." If 2K just created a cap out patch every time they shut down the servers for a previous iteration, allowing you to keep what you paid for, OR sold a side DLC that let you import a previous character or league with all the accumulated stats into the latest version I would be fine with their business model. I might even be cool with buying the new versions. But this just feels wrong. It feel exploitative. And since I'm the one being exploited, it's extra not good.

May have to check NBA Live and see what they've got to offer. After I've played Red Dead Redemption 2 for a while of course. 

Barkeep, I'm need my saddle and my gear. It's almost time to ride out. And whiskey neat while we're waiting.

So, We're doing this AGAIN? AGAIN! Ugh, whatever...

Ramblings Post #349
I don't follow the NBA like I used to. I used to know squads, coaches, and who could beat who based on which player had the advantage or whatever. Now I'm just like ugh, this again. I can watch a game or five, I know who the players are but I don't follow it follow it. And the Finals used to mean something. Before it got into reruns. 

First, let me say that the entire NBA Eastern conference should be ashamed that the Cavs are back in the Finals. It basically says that you can put together a team in mid-season, add in one or two top tier players and beat that whole half of the league. A half with theoretically at this point, good teams. A few assembled teams of potential hall of famers. Seriously. I mean, damn...the Celtics were so close. But the NBA Eastern conference needs wake-up call.

Don't be mad at me, it ain't like I made this.

And on the other side, the Rockets damn sure didn't make it easy. I kind of figured they might have catch the Warriors a bit overconfident or on a down night, and as such they came with it. That was good basketball. Right this moment however, there is just too much horsepower in that Golden State line-up that if there is the slightest misstep, that's all she wrote. Hey Rockets! Almost, but you gotta be quicker than that.

Which leaves us with this. Again. Warriors vs. Cavs. Like damn. I mean the sports journalists have to be pissed about this shit. Content-wise you know that they're scraping the bottom of the barrel here looking for those fresh puff pieces to pad out the series hype. They're about to start talking about second cousins and high school friends. I at one point hoped for a completely fresh Rockets-Celtics match-up, just to keep things interesting, but would have settled for a Warriors-Celtics battle. Anybody but the Cavs.

No, I'm not a fan of LeBron now that you mention it. But if you've been here before I think you know that. 

Now to be clear, off the court I understand he's an exemplary individual. Charitable, happily married, good to his kids, invests wisely, not a gambler, doesn't eat pizza with a fork, not a horrible actor, all those things that might make one remark that hey, he's okay fella if asked to comment. Let me not impugn the man's character or savvy. On the court however, if you took a drink every-time he looked at the ref for a call you'd be blitzed midway through the second quarter. It's that he's one of the best, if not the best, on the court right now but he still needs even more an advantage outlook that just irks me. I don't think any ref in the game who values his ability to blow a whistle would let anything bad happen to Bron-bron. He is entirely too valuable to the league as a whole. So knowing this, and you know he knows it, why ask for even more?  

I guess the big question is if this particular cast of background players can support the King while he tries for glory against the NBA's best current super-team? I guess it could be a question. I mean TV is going to need an angle. Not to disparage the abilities of people who get paid huge sums of money to play basketball (Yes, that is a touch of jealousy in my voice.) And while Finals parties are a thing of yesteryear at least for my age bracket, something new would have been interesting.

Hey, at least the undercards all got to seven games.

Yes, Bartender, I am grasping at straws here, work with me. Beer. What kind? Um, cold. 

Ayesha NO!

Ramblings Post #315
I'm not one to to try and go parent anyone, especially not anyone grown. If you're old enough to drink and get a light bill, then you're old enough to realize that actions have consequences. Consequences and Repercussions. A lot of people younger than me want to act like this is no longer true, like the idea of freedom means being free from the results of your actions. It doesn't. You reap what you sow. Unless you're a superstar athlete, in which case I'm sure we can work something out.

I still think the Warriors can win it all in a ONE game Championship.

Somebody get Ayesha's phone right now. Please. She about to eff' up the church money!

Look I'm not saying that some very improbable coincidental coincidences, if you will, appear to have taken place during this year's NBA finals. And I'm not saying that the league has no interest in seeing a seven game series between what is now it's old phenom versus its new phenom. And I'm not saying a little drama isn't good for the series ratings. I'm not saying a lot of things. But I AM saying that her making a statement about a league approved "fix" doesn't really play out well for anyone. Not her, not the hubs, nobody I can get an eye on.

 At the start of the series, Golden State was head and shoulders above the Cavaliers, and a sweep looked highly possible. The two stars were coasting, wait, they weren't even coasting they were on the bench resting, and the Cavs were getting run up and down the floor like the middle school kids playing at the Rucker. Adjustments were made and nothing changed. The Cavs won their home game, but then we kind of expect you win ONE at home. Then it looked like it was over. Only....the Warriors had just come back from three down in the previous series. So it is possible. So, never before, but now twice in one season? That Tyronn Lue, Cleveland's coach puppet, somehow has crafted something magical?

Um...

Look, LeBron is a great basketball player. Physically gifted, good hands, a sweet shot and with an eye and head for the game. But... for the most part when pressed he plays the game in real life like I play on 2K : How many fouls can I get called on the other team so I can play the scrubs? Maybe it's strategic, they used to call it "working the refs," so I understand it. In theory. But if every time LeBron looked over to the ref hoping for a foul, you had to take a shot of vodka, you wouldn't make it past the first quarter. It's become excessive and annoying if not a defining trait. It looks like whining. And it's irritating to watch someone skilled try to manipulate their way to even more of an advantage. Watching the game this less than sporting sportsmanship seems to have infected the rest of his teammates as well. We already don't have hand checking, like damn. I'm not saying that it maybe one of the reasons ratings are down, but then I'm not saying a lot of things.

The Cavs have hung around long enough to get their groove back. They're a good team, no doubt. But they shouldn't have had the opportunity. And now that they're rolling again, it's a one game championship, which is what the league tries avoid by having a series.

And someone tell Ayesha to relax. The Warriors look like the Showtime Lakers out there. Let Bron-Bron get his last little shot at this. The Warriors will be back in this "isht" for seasons to come if nobody gets the big head. 

Barkeep, let me get some beer. No, I'm serious. Just one though. Gotta watch my figure.

And Boom, there goes your bracket...

Ramblings Post #260
I'm just curious as to why Warren Buffett and Quicken Loans only offered a billion dollars. I mean, since nobody was going to win it, why not offer five or ten billion? As I understand it, only the first day of games have been played and more than 99% of the participants are already eliminated. So the only real winner was the intended winner: Quicken Loans...who now have your information. That you gave them. Willingly. Isn't America grand? 

Well, it's the first day, and here we are. Around 9pm last night I wondered if I could sue the NCAA selection committee for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Really, North Dakota? Okay, I picked Harvard, but Dayton? Kiss. My. Ugh.

THE SEEDS WERE A LIE.

Oh, well. More ball today. Should I keep watching, or maybe I'll just load me up some Grand Theft Auto V? Oh, I'm a glutton for punishment. Where is my remote?

Barkeep. Just a beer. Cold. Whatever.

How To Put Together Your Bracket

Ramblings Post #259
March. Wasn't it supposed to warm about now? Hello? Can I get a little heat up in here. I'd like to thank that California station for their bold musical effort to end winter, but I'll guess we'll just have to move on. Basketball! This used to mean the start of the Atlanta Pro Party Circuit. Ah, the good old days.

My brother is not a sports fan, not really. For years he seemed amazed that I would devote time and attention to following my favorite football team. Only recently has he started following a team of his own, the exact rationale of which I'm not sure, although at one point he articulated his interest as the game being a small metaphor for life: No matter what happened on the last play, you have to line for the next play, etc. He may have another motivation now, but I don't know what it is.

This life long attitude is why I wasn't surprised when he asked me about NCAA brackets a week or so ago. I think he's doing this because in his office, much like in every other office in America, it's a thing you do. Print a bracket, put in $5 bucks, and comment on it going forward. Realizing the truth of the matter, that the lottery has better odds, I've taken a few moments to put together a little primer to get him and all the rest of you interested in donating to office pool started.

Step 1. Watch every college basketball game, keeping track of who did what.

I realize that this step is long and tedious, and at this point will require a time machine, two cases of red bull, a unlimited pizza account and a cray supercomputer. Since this particular step may prove a bit pricey and difficult for most, so let's chuck this one and start over. But, if you can afford it, get the time machine with XM, you're gonna be in there a while.

New Step 1.  Print out a bracket.

If you can't find a printable bracket online, you might want to just go ahead and let this go now. Just donate that $5 to the office pool and tell everyone you'll submit it later, then pretend to get busy and forgot. Yeesh, everybody has one. ESPN, CBS Sports, NCAA, Slate, everybody. Okay, I don't have one on here, but I know everyone else does. Just type "printable bracket" into Google. You may need to just type "printable br" and auto fill in will get it.

Step 2. Pretend to do some research.

Traipsing about I found this wonderful tool on HuffPost, which also has a printable bracket. It's a research thing type bracket dealie whatsits that lets you decide how much weight to give to all the pertinent factors - experts, seeding, defense, rebounding - and to all the non-pertinent factors - tuition, graduation rates, etc. Play with it, it's kinda fun.

Or you could read through an ESPN, USA Today or Sporting News article to see who is hurt on which team, who looks hot for the tourney and who is off their game right now. Expert opinions are crucial in pretending to know what you don't know. It won't matter, but do it anyway. Reading is fundamental.

Step 3. Fill in your bracket.

Yes, just fill it in. Let your pretend research guide your hand. Just remember that #1 seeds always beat #16 seeds. Well, there is always a first time they might lose, but what are the odds? And #2 seeds almost always beat #15 seeds. Almost always. After that it gets, well, I want to say tricky but I'm gonna say easy. Pick the higher seed unless you know the team, in which case pick the team you know, unless you know one of the coaches, then pick the coach. Unless of course you know which team has the more prominent shoe contract, or if you read an article about them, in which case flip a coin. Not rock paper scissors, that would be unscientific. If you know a player or a water-boy, pick that team, unless it's Wednesday and you had fries with lunch, then pick the team with dark colored jerseys. Unless the coach has a G in his name. Now, if it's Tuesday and you use a Mac, pick the team whose mascot comes first in the alphabet, otherwise, you'll need some soup bones, some chicken blood and then draw a circle on the ground with 64 numbers around it. Let me look up the spell you'll need.

Your pretend research should have also revealed a few "bracket busters", teams which nobody expected to win and which ruins cumulative wins by removing a team everyone thought would go far. Actually it won't, I'm just playing. You won't see them either, heck, half their fans won't, but it's nice to pretend you did see it, so claim you meant to pick them, but hedged your pick.

Step #4. Relax. 

If anyone asks how you're doing, you always have to "Go check your brackets." Never have it handy. In reality, the only person paying that close attention after day one is the person running the pool. If it's online, he's not even doing that. Feel free to use the phrase, "I think I got that one" after a victory or loss if anyone asks. No one expects you know all the teams or all your picks.

The weird part is I've actually won my office pool in the past. I don't know how, I was told that I did and I accepted my winnings. Just so you know, the odds of picking a perfect bracket, getting all the teams right, are 1 in 9.2 quintillion. I was nowhere near perfect. You see, you don't have to beat those odds, you have to only get luckier than anyone in your pool. As the tourney proceeds, few of the expected winners are going to have off nights and lose. There will be a Cinderella story that will fizzle out before its all over. But in the end we'll all get to see some pretty good basketball, and that's what counts.  

Barkeep, I'll need a bucket of beers, a thing of nachos, a bowl of peanuts, the wing appetizer, and double order of ribs. I don't know if anyone else wants anything. And no, I'm not leaving for a while.

And at the top of the hour....

Ramblings Post #225
I'm about to say some things that might be taken in the wrong way. It happens. I'll live. But it's been a minute, I've been slapping letters on paper here and there and getting over a cold...or the flu...or the plague, so I decided to chime in. Something to do. Since gutting the transfer budget won't get me enough money to keep even one of my....never mind. A bit of rage quit. This isn't so much a rant as commentary. Edited down because halfway through I kinda answered a question of my own and didn't see the point of exposing my own ignorance. Or at least that much of my own ignorance. 

If the NBA player who came out of the closet had shot the ball like Jordan or Lebron, not only would there be no voices of dissent in the locker room, his fellow players would be ready to brawl in the street if you said anything bad about him. It's a team thing. That's just my opinion now, because maybe fervent religious belief is bigger than sport. But I'm from the south...where Roll Tide can be substituted for Amen under the right circumstances.

Jason Collins, former Celtic and Wizard, said "I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay."  I wonder if he'd done this in mid-season, when he had a team, what the reaction would have been. Don't get me wrong, doing this just after the season closed so it wouldn't be a distraction to the team was gracious on his part. But he's a free agent, he has no current locker room in which to stand. And he's 34, on the tail end of his career. He's a player in a professional sport because he hasn't turned in the required league retirement paperwork.

And by announcing it now he's also placed himself in a dicey position. As one commentator put it, he's a position where if he gets picked up next season, it could look like a publicity stunt. But if he's not picked up, it's because he's gay and discrimination is afoot. Rock and hard place. Now, by dint of the sheer number of professional athletes there have to be a few hundred gay men who suit up and play some "game" at the professional level each week. And teams replace those players all the time, for a variety of reasons. You see where I'm going with that. I'm just theorizing here, spitting out hypotheticals if you will.

On another note, another commentator I heard today also mentioned for some reason the "I'm black" part as being important. Why I don't know. As though he might be the first gay black person ever. Probably not. As though black people don't accept gay people. Um, yeah. We kinda do. Maybe I should have listened more, but I was getting a haircut at the time.

Now, as I said, I'm from the South. Where, if you can play football on Saturday with great ability, why it doesn't matter what your race or religion might be. Sport transcends if you will. Black, White, Indian, smart, stupid, crazy, it doesn't matter. So gay probably won't matter either. If you can play. It's unfair, but it's not new, its wrong in the same way that as long as we can remember the abusive high school jocks are treated as young gods because they can break a tackle on a fine Friday night. It's not crazy...it's sports. (via ESPN).

And since when is life fair?

Barkeep. Roll Tide.

(I'm not really an Alabama fan, I'm just trying to make a point.)

Who decided these seedings anyway?

Ramblings Post #220
Every year there is the ritual. We seek guidance and direction, hoping that the path we choose will lead us to a place of comfort...and victory in the office pool. Yes, I'm talking about College Basketball, March Madness, and all the joy and heartbreak that it contains.

To pick three #12 seeds beating #5 seeds as upsets would have been the height of insanity...before this years tourney. Oregon beat Oklahoma St, Ole Miss beat Wisconsin, and California beat UNLV. Throw in the #14 ranked Harvard knocking out a #3 seed and I doubt anyone without 42 different brackets is doing anywhere near decent. The Boom! La Salle takes out Kansas State and that bracket is hanging on by a thread.

Wait, how much time is on the clock in Georgetown game? Who is Florida Gulf Coast? Oh, the guys who just beat the #2 seed and now that bracket is wobbly as well. If Southern's near cataclysmic take down of #1 seeded Gonzaga had actually happened, I would have turned off my TV and called it a wrap. My only consolation is that nobody saw all of THAT coming. At least nobody I know. That Gonzaga actually lost in the second round, well, one of my boys actually called that one...but nobody believed him at the time.

I have actually won a pool in the past, my picks apparently just a little bit more fortuitous than everyone else's, but this year has proved to be especially vexing. Not because I'm a great college basketball fan (I'm not), but because conventional wisdom has not only gone out the window, it's gone down the street, caught a bus to the airport and is currently drinking rum on the beach in St. Croix. And apparently no one in ESPN over eight million strong player base had anything even close to this outcome.

Kinda makes me thinks sports really are America's last place where the underdog can triumph. Oh, wait, Har-vhud. Yeah, right.

Bracketology 102 - the second weekend

It's all come down to this. There is no Cinderella story out of nowhere. There is no Giant killer. There is no sleeper. There is no tourney surprise. For the first time in like ever it's all going according to plan. Sure in the downstream there were a few tweaks here and there, a sliver of hope to make the games interesting, a couple of 12 seeds doing nobody any good, but in the end...all the #1 seeds made it to the Final Four. Which means other than the Georgetown fiasco, I'm doing pretty damn good in my brackets.

Nobody will be playing above their game, and all the crazy scenarios that breeds. What we'll be getting is evenly matched basketball. All of these are conference champs, on hot win streaks, and have been leading the way since they laced'em up in that first practice with Midnight Madness.

So who else thinks none of the games is gonna be any good?

Yeah, I said it. None of the games will be good after 15 minutes. Whoever is leading at halftime can go on and start chanting "We want (fill in the blank here)!" because it won't be a game after that. These aren't scrappy fighters here - flyweights or lightweights trying for any advantage...this the super heavyweight decision, every move calculated. And once we figure out which one Rocky is you can go ahead and write the other guy off. I don't expect lay downs, but I'm not looking for a run in the last five minutes to bring a team back for a last second "oh my god did you see that" Sportscenter moment. Won't happen. Not a chance.

The rest of the pool still in contention has Mr. Hansbrough and the rest of the Tarheels cutting down nets on Monday. I went with Kansas. In one of them pools I went with Kansas. Whatever. Memphis and UCLA have their backs against the wall, as most of their teams will be NBA bound as soon as the agents can race down onto the court after the final whistle. So they'll be ready to play for certain. But in the end, everybody will swinging and as I said, I feel a dominance showing up with 5 mins or so left to play in the first half. In all three games. Call it a hunch.

Somewhere that NCAA exec who runs the basketball wing is calling up the the exec at CBS and reminding him how lucky he his. Look at what we gave you. Come Tuesday I'm betting that CBS exec will be calling back to see if that schmuck can explain what happened.

So that's the call from down in here. No details, no stats and analysis, just a feeling. And that's all I got.

Barkeep - an Hawaiian Punch...in a shot glass.

Bracketology 101 - the first weekend.

Okay, last year I said it...I didn't like Duke. Coach K and and boys wear their confidence like a smug sport jacket, in Duke blue no less, and that along with the unbridled smugness of their fans make watching them go out all the more sweet. I'm almost certain most of the country, no, most of the basketball playing world, feels that same way.

Unless you picked them into the Sweet 16.

Okay, first they get worn out by Belmont, who showed up like a team who didn't read the program and thought they were playing the West Washington High Blue Devils. Duke is supposed to be stocked, and I mean stocked with McDonald's (argh!) All-Americans and they got run up and down the court. But I wasn't worried. This was a first round scare, they get their legs back, talk it over and Coach K will have them back in form on Sunday. Then they played West Virginia...who played them like the West Washington High Blue Devils Junior Squad. One has to believe that whoever ranks these teams sleeps in Duke PJs with footies. And there they go...again.

Then low and behold, out of nowhere Davidson beats Georgetown. Who saw this coming? Each year the ESPN tourney brackets boasts some fool who accidentally picked what happens to 99% accuracy or better. I have a bracket there (which has got to be the hardest damn thing to find on the screen, I mean jeez!) and let me tell you, I'm not even close. Not even. Who picks two 12 seeds, a 10 seeds and 7? Who? Come on! Not even someone who had chosen the winners based on how they might have liked the unis wouldn't have come up with this combination.

At least Kansas, UCLA and Tennessee are still hanging on, the last one by it's teeth. When did college basketball get parity? So I got a wobbly bracket, but no busts.

While all this was going on Easter happened. Normally, I spend that gift-less holiday with family - my brother - but this year I got a call from Shade who'd popped into town (outta nowhere) and kicked off a round robin of events that started with me explaining to her the pretty mirror theory and ended up us playing Midwest rules double chicken Uno somewhere off Cascade. Suffice it to say that meant I was unable to focus on the games.

Oh well, more there is to life say but me and God.

Barkeep...Sparkling Grape Juice with a slice of Orange.

Here we go again

On January 8 in Glendale Arizona in the We Can Make a Whole Lotta Money College Championship Bowl as presented by Somebody who Paid a lot of Money (I really wasn't paying attention), the SEC's Florida Gators ripped the Ohio State Buckeyes a new one, beyotch slapping them up and down the field and beating the consensus #1 college football team in the country 41-14. This after some speculated that they shouldn't even be there.

(Sidenote - I'll have you know I missed what had to have been one hell of a Gator party cause I really didn't think they'd have a chance.)

Urban Meyer's trashtalking team spanked the more staid Buckeyes, starting what maybe a new rivalry in sports. Of course a new rivalry in sports is hardly a good concept, most of us prefer the old rivalry rife with stories of shenanigans that get people prison terms in today's litgious society. A NEW rivalry is concept that I have a hard time wrapping my mind around. (In this story I'm the old man that the put the what where?) But I digress.

This weekend the Final Four looms, and the possibility of a rematch of the NCAA Football championship teams is a possible for the NCAA Basketball championship game. Somewhere an NCAA marketing exec has ejactulated for the third time today and it still won't go down. A final four with all one or two seeds; the Big Ten, SEC, Pac-10 and Big East fans all have a reason to tune in; and one of the semi-final games is a repeat of last year's Championship.

There he goes again.

Now that pony tailed (technically) brother and the rest of them might be about line up against Ohio State. True Florida won it last year, and became the first team to win both the Football and Basketball championships at the same time, but Ohio State was #1 in this sport too. Unlike the winter meeting though, if this happens it will be clear that the two teams that faced off should be there. All that voting foolishness aside.

NCAA Football...pay attention!

The champ is groggy...the champ is down!

Yesterday marked the start of the annual sports frenzy that is the NCAA March Madness. (which in case you didn't know is trademarked and I could get in trouble for saying that). Every year, offices around the country slowdown as mysterious colds arise on Thursday morning and personal time gets exercised to it's fullest. I cannot tell you how many empty parking spaces there were at my job.

But I dutifully turned in my brackets to the office pool (they say I left Texas A&M empty) and didn't bother to check any scores until after 6pm. All day I heard groans and the phrase "last I heard they were up by six" time and time again as people surrpitiously checked scores all day long. Which if you must know is a bitch at my workplace as the they only alot you and hour of "quota time" a day for no approved websites, under which falls anything carrying sports information. Bastiches.

So one of my picks, one that chose with relish, was Duke losing to VCU in the first round.

Usually the much hated Blue Devils (Bill Simmons of ESPN shouldn't have had to apologize, we all hate Duke) are a one or two seed, and a pick against them is spitting into the wind. But this year they had lost three going in and were a six seed. A SIX, do you hear me? Sixes lose to thirteens all the time, don't they?

So I inked it up, put in my money and went back to work.

After work and somebody's "I gotta better job" leaving party, I crawled into the house and checked my brackets. I'd gone fairly conservative this year(although I did have Gonzanga and Texas Tech), lo and behold, it had happened. The champ was in trouble, the champ was groggy, and with lead that lasted maybe two minutes the champ...was down.

I don't know why I don't like Duke. Maybe it's the perceived arrogance of the program, or the smug fans or that they're always there, in the thick of it every season.

I just know I don't like them. And now they're gone.

Ha ha.

Bartender. Let me get some of that Old Crow.

A short sermon

Basketball great Dennis Johnson died the other day, and I suddenly miss pro basketball.

There was a time in the mid-eighties when basketball season actually meant something. You had Magic and Kareem running the Showtime Lakers out West, and the in the East the battle for supremacy meant that whoever got the Finals had already run the gauntlet to get there.

Bird, Parrish and the Celtics.
Dr. J and Seventysixers.
Isiah and Pistons.

Those were playoffs you watched like March Madness, roaming the day after a game with oft repeated "Did you sees?" at the physical artistry that was a pro basketball game. The Sky Hook. The Finger Roll. The wild momentum shifts and the last second heroics better than anything on the movie screen.

Then came Jordan.

Some consider Jordan the greatest basketball player of all time. I'm not one of their ranks. Much like the old "Evander Holyfield-Charlie Steiner" commerical from ESPN...I not sure I would put him in the best 50 basketball players. Of all time, you ask? In the Eastern Divison.

To me Jordan, who seems like an affable fellow mind you, represents what went wrong with pro basketball. Before Jordan there were stars, but those stars were attached to teams. After Jordan there were only players.

Players obsessed with shoe contracts.
Prima donnas who swear they're the best thing for basketball.
Ball hogs who don't even remember the fundamentals.
Players with more going on off the court than on.
Players who won't be remembered for their game.

Dennis Johnson was from another era of basketball. Back when you rooted for the team, for pride. When the team meant more than a place for the player to collect his paycheck. Dennis Johnson, who was for a long time THE Ugliest Man in Basketball, played on a real team, not a supporting cast for this year's basketball prodigy. Teams that ran plays, had well coached people contributing off the bench, and in many cases at the final buzzer you couldn't concentrate on keeping it out of one players hands....cause all of them were liable to toss it up.

DJ. We'll miss you.

Barkeep...just some vodka and ice.