Monday, October 22, 2007

Back in Stride again...

Man am I glad it's Monday. Straight from a four day parley and getting back to work is refreshing.

Thursday night - Vino Libro in East Side Village & Leopard Lounge.

Vino is a wine/tapas bar that looks so damn comfy. The chairs are low and the drinks are strong. Leopard was well, Leopard on an Thursday. Wall to wall and damn fun.

Friday night - Chivas Studio & Strip.
Chivas Regal gave away free drinks, with live music and gourmet food. And nobody came. If they had fifty people in there I would have been surprised. But the drinks were strong plus. Strip is done by the way...they almost had more security than patrons.

Saturday night - House party
Ten minutes from calling it a night, a got a call with directions and walked in on a phat party down off Campbellton Road. The bartender had on red hot pants and fishnets, they had trays of food left, and a stripper pole in the basement.

Sunday afternoon - House accident
It wasn't planned, but over at my partner's spot we ended up getting a little foolish. The Cowboys won, the folks got a little raucous and fun was had by all. Except ole girl who swore her booty was 39, until we broke out the tape measure.

It was that kinda night.

Barkeep - Water. I've been drinking for four days.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

New Home Update.

It only took a month and half, four trees cut down, a limb removed, six appointments and seven technicians (the last two came in pairs) but the Direct TV is on at the crib. Oh hell yes!

A friend of mine just slipped me the CEO's phone number as they were having problems with Direct TV as well, but it wasn't needed. I really wish I could go back now and get the other busted ass techs who came out to be required to stop back by and see that it could be done.

-->The little light booty fuck who showed up Saturday at 5pm already on the cellphone to his buddy as he arrived.

-->The little bassid who came out and told me no way, and wouldn't even try.

-->The fucker who rode by and never stopped.

I need all of them to ride by and be required to watch as turn it on, give me a full apology. I was prepared to bet the guy who showed up this morning $20 he could get a signal if he stood where I told him too.

Okay in the ensuing 45 days I've been without, I want to say I've accomplished so much. That I read several novels I wouldn't had time to, started a new work or polished an old, maybe took the time to clean up the house or paint. I would be lying if I said those things. I played games on my computer and watched DVDs.

As an aside, why is every copy of Pirates of the Caribbean from Blockbuster I buy so scratched as the be unwatchable?

I've got the Premier Package (all the channels) and Sunday Ticket (all the NFL games) and Superfan (which I'm not sure will work with my old ass box). I may not be back for a while. I was this close to calling Charter, this -><-- close. So close.

Barkeep....Knob Creek. Leave the bottle. Oh yeah.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Quick Film Review - Why Did I Get Married?

This weekend, on opening weekend, I went and saw Tyler Perry's latest Why Did I Get Married, the next in his line of feel good uplifting stories of the Black Experience. I was originally going to see it at Atlantic Station, but I forgot about the Taste of Atlanta and so I dashed up to Phipps. I now remember why I prefer Atlantic Station.

Mr. Perry's world seems to inhabit the same world of the black romance novel, where everyone is well off, well educated and articulate. Well, almost everyone. My favorite character, Tasha Smith's feisty Angela is the black woman I know. Obviously educated and accomplished, but more than willing to unleash if provoked. As much as I want to be mad that the characters lives seem so plastic, I'm kinda glad they're not portrayed as the bad stereotypes. But is there no middle ground to the black character? Either they've made it to the top, or hustlin on the side. Where are the people in the middle?

(In the interest of full disclosure I've had a thing for Tasha Smith since I first saw her in NBC's Boston Commons in the mid-90s)

I won't go into the story, you had to have read it somewhere...four couples get together for their annual retreat, this time in Colorado, only to have the secrets and issues they've been repressing bubble to the surface. This is my take on it: Janet Jackson is stiff at times, Tyler Perry has written himself the Jimmy Stewart/Good guy role, and Richard T. Jones comes across so unabashedly vile it's almost fun to see just how far he can take it. Smith and Jones characters and performances spice up an otherwise bland bit of celluloid. It's a Tyler Perry movie, so you know it will all work out in the end, but that's not why you go. I laughed, I cried, I was shocked, and watched Sporty suck in a breath when man candy hit the screen. So it wasn't perfect, but it was good.

I'm thinking, the good people in Hollywood may need to turn to look at the Perry Method and learn a trick or two. This is the third incarnation of this project, from stage play to filmed version of the stage play to feature film. Having already found out what works night after night, all Perry has been doing with existing works is put the last bit of Hollywood polish on them and he's got gold. In an industry that prides itself on milking every formula and is struck with sequelitis, you would think they would appreciate the "just do it over with a new sticker" concept that's putting the butts in the seats.

One last point. I realize that the film wasn't pre-screened for the media, but doesn't have a review up 72 hours after release. And for the #1 film in America? It's a shame.

You need to go see it. Good film.

Barkeep - Maker's Mark and a dash of Ginger. Yeah.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Dogs and Direct TV

It was a less than memorable weekend.

I watched Sporty's dogs this weekend as she went out of town for a Flag-Football Tourney (ah, the sportswoman). Much like me forgetting why I will only sit in Club Level or above in the Georgia Dome, I also forgot why I don't own pets.

1. Pets mean you have to go home. Regularly.
2. Pets mean feedings.
3. Pets have accidents.
4. Pets have a unique aroma.

Now I like dogs, much like I like children. I like the kind you can give back to their owners/parents after say 5 minutes of interaction. I can play toss the stick with the cute puppy, or toss the football with the kid, but hey isn't that your mommie calling?

So I spent the weekend dipping out then heading home to check and make sure the "kids" hadn't gotten into something and destroyed something else. And to keep my floors clean, I must have walked them six times a day (it didn't work). The little one apparently won't go if you're watching him. And the only times I wasn't watching him was when I was asleep or not there. You get the picture. He's not invited back.

But I asked for that, so...

...but Direct TV. I'm so ready to ....ooooh. Okay, so I've been without my Direct for like a month and half. Line of sight issues. Three techs have been out. The fucked up part is that the second tech found a spot to get a signal. The first was lazy and the third tech blew me off like I was nuts. I requested the same tech but they didn't send him.

To get the signal adequately, I need to get a branch cut down however. And do you know how hard it is to find a ladder? I mean like for real...apparently ladders are like gold.

The second tech says cut this branch down, you're in the house. The third tech tells me the second tech was crazy. If I hadn't gotten NFL Sunday ticket, Super fan and the Premier Package for being a persistent customer (I've never been nasty with anyone on the phone) I would have quit a while back. As it is, now I just want to be able to watch some damn TV.

As it is, I'm going to have to find a bar to watch the Cowboys-Bills tonight. I'm not amused.

Barkeep, a boilermaker with a tequila shot on the back.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Quick Film Review - Goodbye Uncle Tom

A friend of mine, in effort to help me understand real racism, loaned me a copy of a film he described as the "real deal" concerning slavery. It would "touch me, move me, and give me a new outlook".

This film was Goodbye Uncle Tom.

The film is now part of the Mondo Cane DVD series, shot by Gualtiero Jacopetti and Franco Prosperi in 1971. It's cinematic treatment of slavery is extremely different from all other slave epics -- Roots, Mandingo, Beloved. Shot in a pusedo documentary style it shows modern film makers traveling through time to see slavery up close and personal. Shot in Haiti, it depicts graphic slavery, including copious male and female nudity, rape, auctions, beatings and any other unpleasant slavery related act it can conjure up.

You ever have a child come up to you and show you a picture they painted, and you get all funny and tell them how good it was. It's gonna be like that.

I watched it cold with no build up, so I went in with minimal expectations.

I'm going to suggest that if you are a homosexual or bi-sexual racist sadist with a scat perversion in the mood for rough dark meat, then this is the film for you! I can't think of anyone else I would suggest sitting down to see it.

After a scene straight from a redneck or a black militants dream of 20 or so slaves running around a plantation dining room, we go to a cargo ship and arrival procedures. From there to traders and disenfranchised workers to mammys and the like, all the while treated to overdubbed historical texts recited by actors without a trace of irony. The film is exploitation at it's worst. A scene described as heartbreaking appeared almost silly to me, a much maligned shot of small white girl leading her "pet black boy" around by his collar as she frolicked in a field. The later stages of black power rallies didn't even appear to have a basis, as did the blood fantasy ending.

Watching I'm not sure what the purpose is. I looked online and the original filmmakers stated that wasn't a message film, they wanted to show what was going on. It's been called the "most racist film in history", and watching the banality of it unfold was almost funny. Maybe I need help. The people who seemed most proud of it, as I researched this farce, were those black militants who wanted it seen calling the films "based on historical facts".

Maybe it's just me, but I think we can do better than this. I think anyone can better than this. They tried for a African Passion Play...and ended up with nasty soft porn. Bad nasty soft porn.

Barkeep. Just mix some shit in a glass...I need to get this taste out my brain.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

The required Halo post (as required by Internet Rule #47854b-Halo)

I don't play Halo. Didn't get the first one, don't have the second one, sure as hell ain't gonna get the third.

For one, I do NOT own an X-Box.

For two, I have no desire to play a game online against someone who just might be so dedicated that in their living room they're actually in full battle dress. It's also why I don't play Warcraft, as an old coworker once told me that upon waking he kissed his wife then scurried off to his computer to see how his auction then went, and before he could control himself was scurrying off on a new quest...almost forgetting to come to work.

I've played GTA, Civ, Age and some of the others. I game regularly. I'm not a noob.

And now I just read what could be considered blasphemy...on online review calling Halo a sci-incarnation of a Madden.

Now I played Madden back when the game had one team's location listed as "Philly". I bought the old Sega system just so I could play. We held the 32 team round robin double elimination World Championship Tournament in my apartment over 3 days...15 years ago! We're talking ancient history here. I can be safely said, I've played a game or two.

I've seen Halo played. It's Doom in free form, Quake for teams, Duke Nuke'em out of development. It's kids stuff.

I know Madden, I've played Madden, I like Madden, and you sir are no Madden by any stretch of the imagination.

I don't know if I can even continue. I'm so hurt by even the comparison.

Barkeep. Evan Williams and branch water. Yeah, cheap ass Evan Ass Williams.