Thursday, January 21, 2010

Sometime it rains

Ramblings Post #81
Sometimes it rains. That was the title of little story I sent my friend today when she got some bad news. Because sometimes it rains, the wind howling and the cold and damp get into your bones and all you want to do is crawl under the covers and hide. Yes, sometimes it rains, but always remember: It never rains forever.

This has been a week that started off so good, but ended up so...well, it's kinda like the karma that was 2009 hasn't washed off yet. That stink of not quite getting it is still with me.

My career in "chicken plucking" that I had planned to end sometime early this year as I transitioned into law just got the "hold up for second" signal, along with about half a million other plans. Sometimes it rains. At my current employ I enjoy a bit of seniority and other respects, but I'm ready to give all that up for something more mentally challenging and a better future...even with a modest pay cut.

Then Sporty hit me with the news she didn't get the job she had already got. Yeah, read it again because I wrote it right. Technicality. Which kinda shocked me, even though I was expecting it. I just knew something was taking too long. And if it hit me, I think it shell shocked her. She tough, but inside she's ...well, inside she isn't as tough. I wrote her encouragements a off and on all day, text - email (that sometimes it rains thing) - chat and she hasn't responded since noon. I'm about to call her because I'm a little worried.

Sometimes it hurts a little bit when I realize I can only do so much to help her. But I'm between a rock and hard place myself and taking another pay cut, when I am already taking a pay cut where Iam just to go to school, will put me a position to help her even less. Yes, that means what you think it means, but only in emergencies. If you can't do it for those you love, I mean really.

On a good note, my pushups are going well. That said, tonight I will probably hurt my wrist.

That say that just because you made the plan, that's not always how things go. I've known that for years [see my life in toto], but sometimes knowing she's in these "less than stellar" times hurts in ways... well, it just hurts. Real, real bad.

Barkeep...a tall glass of kool-aid and a little quiet.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Pieces of the Puzzle of Life

Ramblings Post #80 Life happens. Even when we don't want it too, when we'd much rather stop it to get a breather or skip ahead to find out what we want to know, life as we know it pretty much plods along. Why doesn't life come with a fast forward, a rewind and a pause. And a laugh track. But it doesn't. So life happens and we are forced to live it. There was a point to this, but I forgot.

I've been remiss in updating the words that go here. I have the common excuses - work, school, sleep, studying, football, laziness, etc..

At work after getting hammered with way too many issues I went back the looked at the data and I'm starting to believe I'm the only one plucking any damn chickens up this piece! Anyway, I think I may have uncovered an issue which only joyously means more work. At a job I'm trying to get out of. So go figure.

School is well, school. I got two new professors, one of which looks and acts like the little brother of Tim Gunn (Project Runway) and the other who looks like a mom you just know used to have a wild side right up until the kids showed up. The other prof is the same I had last semester, a man as passionate about the law as I've ever seen. I needed an elective, and figured that since I knew his teaching style, already had the book and had a rough idea of what his final would look like, I would have an edge going in. And I'm going to to need it since Gunn Jr and Mommy lawyer both teach at light speed and have already said it will be take home exams for their courses, which means everything but the kitchen sink will be on those finals. And maybe the kitchen sink too.

Oh what a fun semester this promises to be.

I've been fairly faithful the my push-up regime lately. A buddy of mine who is a trainer suggested I start with one push-up, and everyday add another until I get to one hundred. I can do fifty now, but motivation eludes me some days and I end up talking to God from the floor asking him why about a lot of esoteric of which is her.

I've been praying that Sporty gets the go ahead for this jobbie job. The only thing left is the security clearance and she had to submit some more information, so all we can do at this point is wait. Which is nerve racking for me...and I know it has to be even worse for her. I'm so tempted to tell her to start applying to some other spots, to not stop running because the cheese appears to be right there, but I don't want to break the magic of possiblity. Her with hope feels so right.

Is that wrong?

I think Spanky is finally growing up, or had an epiphany or something after some fairly cryptic "people I've hurt" lines on her facebook page and a sudden trip to see family. She and I dont' talk like we used to, but then I think she's still mad at me about going back to school. That or she's still mad at me about the Christmas party.

She can be mad. Does she know how much school costs?

Schmoopy is back in town, and I need to figure out the supremely late Christmas gift after she remembered me. Apparently Crocodile Dundee lost his knife in Africa and the little one scooped it for me. That and she's gone vegetarian for the month of January which makes our drop in brunches interesting to say the least.

That's not a knife, this is a knife!

The Cowboys lost, much to the joy of the Anti-Cowboy loyalists. Those are the people who hate the Cowboys so much they know the team almost better than the fans, you know, the ones whose two favorite teams are they're local team or the squad from where they grew up...and WHOEVER is playing the Cowboys. I blame the loss on coaching frankly. Had Jason Garrett made the adjustments - ie, pulling it back to Max Protect after the second fumble until they could figure out a decent blocking scheme - they would have had a shot. Instead, a quarterback constantly waiting for the hit is a bad QB. Jeez, you could have figured this out on Madden.

The last few weeks have been draining, and every day it seems like the path I'm plodding on gets a little hazier. Getting back into the swing of things, the rhythm of class and work has been harder than I remember. But it seems like now I'm coming up on halfway there...


Barkeep. Did you know that orange and cranberry juice are great without the vodka? Really...

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Bar Chatter

Bar Chatter #8
When it's not enough to make a post, but deserves to go out to the's just Bar Chatter

From Vanity Fair, hoping they don't sue.

Okay, is it just me, or does Tiger's new Vanity Fair cover taken pre-hoochie exposure look now resemble more a "prison" picture than that of an intense athlete?

I'm just saying that when they took it, he was going for the intense athlete look, prepping for his chosen sport and trying for a slightly buff look. But now post booty call-orama it's taken on more menace.

I'm guessing this was taken based on the fact that at that time none of us could have imagined Tiger in jail, and now I'm certain some wish adultery was jailable crime (kinda sorta. If you cheated more than 10 times).

Monday, January 4, 2010

And like that, it was done...

Ramblings Post #79
We have to remember that milestones are just that...milestones. They are rarely the goal, and if they are they are but stops for a moment to get our bearings for the next. And because the walk is usually so much longer than the rest, we might think about learning to enjoy the journey between life's milestones. But then I just think I said that better in the stuff I learned last year, so this year's first note should wear clean underwear. Yeah!

Another weekend with no classes and nothing to study passes, well, not really, but I'm gonna ride this pony as long as it will let me. I've been on the upswing for the past few days and hopefully I can max out before the inevitable dip that follows shows up and drinks all the beer. A fast recap...

Pre - NYE..

The day before New Years and Sporty calls. She's so excited she's out of breath. We'd talked a couple of days before when she'd dutifully reported it was snowing in Dallas, and I suggested she go outside and try to catch a snowflake on her tongue. In case you don't know, each snowflake is a blessing, but only if you catch it on your tongue. Well, she did and two days later a recruiter calls her and after three hours on the phone she's launching her new career! Disclaimer - Snowflake blessings only work if the story is told to you by someone who loves you...and you just happen to be perfectly qualified for the career in question.

It's not completely perfect, as she's gonna have to get to DC to make it all work but we'll manage. Note how I made that "we"... I so special. I hit her up with a list the next day of concepts just so she doesn't get her expectations out of proportions. She's an optimist to the core and occasionally needs a bit of grounding in reality, but she's gonna be fine. Her start date is the 25th, so she's got to get cracking.

So that's working itself out.


New Year's itself was a bit of bust. Not my worst by a long shot, but not one of my stellar performances either. My RP and I have started to eschew the big parties - like the one at the Crown Ravina with the seven ballrooms - and go for smaller fare. This year it was a small function on the Southside. Which was to take place at this swank crib sitting on acreage. I mean the house was so fly, it had a pool on the second floor. Upscale.

I break out around 9:30 so I can get there and be cool and all is well until I make that last left, about a hundred or so yards from the subdivision. Because there is a road closed sign. I go past that to second sign and give up at the third. I end up catching my RP on the road and take the thirty minute detour (none of the damn roads connect) and when we finally reach the house, there is no telling how many folks got to that road closed sign and just turned around. So the party never really takes off. Except for the drunk chick in the corner who puts on the strip show around 1am.

Further, because of complications, I end up driving my RP home and don't make it back to my crib until 5am.

Post NYE...

So Friday...I chilled.

Saturday night is a hot little card party at this brother's house who knows everybody. And I don't mean like my RP knows everybody in Atlanta, I mean like he's got photos of himself with Presidents and Senators lining the crib - while we're in his living room screaming at each other about the rules of a ghetto card game called Tunc (a modified four handed version of gin rummy). It was to say by an understatement, a vast contrast. My brother accompanied me out and had a good time as he ran into some guys he knew from our hometown (small world!) and ended up talking to them about old times. Sometimes you just need moments like that...

Sunday was my RP's last football/card party gathering, as he has to go back to work hard on Monday after a lax few weeks. We watched the Falcons game and as it was men vs. the women in the various card games, we all took much heart in the many victories of the men. Using what I consider the ultimate karaoke machine in his living room - a complete DJ setup - my RP kept announcing victories and losses to the whole house as the afternoon went on. The women were not amused. I saw more than a few folks I hadn't seen in a minute, and now, as the new year looms...I can go forward knowing I still got it.

As what "it" actually is...I have no idea.

I also know that the Cowboys kicked the daylights out of the Eagles.

Barkeep...just the orange and cranberry, I stopped drinking December 31.

Friday, January 1, 2010

What I learned 2009

A lot of folks start the new year with resolutions, personal promises to do that or accomplish this, but because of little things like oh, say.... life, bills, and the spin class starting at 5am it usually ends up in the "well that wasn't such a good idea anyway" category. Instead, because I know I mean well, but don't always follow through - loser - I stop and take a moment to reflect on life's lessons for the past 12 months. The wise know that we're learning all the time, every day a new lesson, every week a new test, every month a new Spring Break. Some things we have to re-learn because cynicism has beaten it out of us, others are ideas we finally comes to grips with after hanging on to outdated thinking way too long, and some are revelations on the order of finding out you really can deep fry a Twinkie or a little something on a alluring body actually is better than naked.


In any case, all of us learned something this year. And if we're smart, we use that bit of knowledge and make our own personal little worlds a little better. Or, if we're not that smart, we'll re-learn it next year and act all surprised for no reason.

Second chances are worth their weight in platinum. Priceless really.
-- the trick is to not do the same thing with the second chance you did with the first

When you don't play the hand God gave you, don't wonder where all your chips went.

Real true love never goes away. I learn that every year.
-- You can suppress love, hide it, deny it. But it's still there.

Achieving your goal is a brief and temporary condition, so learn to appreciate the getting there, which usually takes much longer.
-- Win. Celebrate. Start getting ready for next game. - Old southern football saying

When you think you're good enough, you need to still try harder.
-- because if you got it, you can get even more

Self improvement doesn't happen overnight, it comes in small increments that build mountains.
-- One push-up. Two push-up. Three push-up. Day by day to a hundred push-ups.

Everyone is important in someway.

The camera really adds 10 pounds to your appearance. Which is your actual weight, and not what you thought you it was.

A good mirror can make you feel better about yourself, or spur you start working on things. Either way, it takes the surprise out of photographs.
-- Yes, that really is you in that photographs. It was me too, and buddy I wasn't happy.

Reading really is fundamental
-- This was relearned. Again. Again.

Life is too long to try to keep cutting corners.
-- Most of us will be here a while. We need to take our time and make it quality

Cultivate small pleasures
-- They're great little kicks for good times, and they make bad times more bearable

Try to do one thing on your "bucket list" every year. And then add something else.
-- well, first you need to have a bucket do that too