One way to get your ratings up

Ramblings Post #402
Love makes you do many things. Strange things. Dumb things. I my case, not even for actual love, but in an effort to get someone to love me (this is before I came the realization it does not work that way). But I hope that love never makes me go up on stage during a national television broadcast and slap another man because my wife gave me a look. Really.

Well, that was stupid.

It was a throwaway line, a joke at the end of four or five other jokes that would have faded into nothing. It was a lame joke about a film most people don't remember. But no one would have remembered it a week from now. Then this shit happened.

I don't watch the Oscars broadcast, but someone posted a clip on Reddit that caught my eye. I thought it was a skit, a funny little thing that they'd done to liven up the show in some way. The Sporty texted me and asked me did I see it, and how Will was big mad. Now, the first clip I'd seen was short, Will walking on stage, slapping Rock and stalking off. The clip Sporty linked was longer, included the joke about Jada - which as I've said was kinda lame - and the slap, then it went quiet although the video kept running. And you'd didn't have to be from the hood to be able read Will's lips. He was for real big mad. Then I found the uncensored Japanese clip where you can hear Will cursing on live television and I realized that this wasn't at all staged in any way shape or form.

By the way, I must applaud Chris Rock's professionalism. As a long time standup comic he's probably faced down plenty of hecklers and can feel when it's best to not press an issue due to outsized anger. As such, he did what a pro would do and tried to make light of it and keep the show moving. And after the show he indicated he would not press charges, most likely at the suggestion of the Academy. He is being the bigger man here. Because truth be told if it had been me, I'm not so sure I wouldn't have embarrassed myself, my momma and the entirety of Black America.

Then after Will was dragged from the auditorium by secur....what? He wasn't? He sat back down, and a half-hour later won the Oscar for his leading man role in King Richard, got a standing ovation, and went to the Vanity Fair after-party like ain't shit happened?  Really? Wow. I guess liberal Hollywood is behind the idea of "standing up for the wifey." Because that's how Smith's defenders, including a number of those in the black community, are framing it. A number of women seem to think a lame joke was a good enough reason to slap someone on national TV if its in the defense of the wife. But it's not like Jada isn't in the game, she got her own talk show and her own roles. If she wasn't in the industry, maybe, possibly, there could have been some umbrage - but an actor in the front row of an awards show is fair game for roasting. And she is an actor, isn't she? Another argument seems to be she has a medical condition called alopecia, and medical conditions shouldn't be joked about. But um, alopecia is a medical term for hair loss, not cancer. It's not as far as I know terminal. We joke about bald dudes all the time, but they too are suffering form a form of aloepica. So, what about that? And there are plenty of beautiful women who've cut their hair short or near bald by choice. What about them?

No, this whole episode was a massive overreaction to a nothing. Which as a number of folks have pointed out gives rise to the idea that things aren't as happy at the Smith household as one might think, given their reconciliation after Jada's entanglement situation last year. What Tupac would have done jokes aside, one theory is that Jada's sour reaction combined with their rocky history prompted Will into action to openly demonstrate his love and support of her at all costs. Which is also problematic in and of itself. But that's another whole post.

So, what should Will have done? He could have done the cursing from seat thing by itself. That alone would have been enough of a shock to accomplish his point. Or, at the Vanity Fair after party when he ran into Rock he could have just said "Hey man, that joke about Jada wasn't cool." And then explained the aloepica. And let Rock say my bad and apologize to Jada. And then kept it moving. But would it have been cool? YES, way better than this.

It was a throwaway line, a joke at the end of four or five other jokes that would have faded into nothing by the time the award Rock was presenting three minutes later. It was a lame joke about a film most people don't remember and as it turns out, in poor taste to boot. No one would have remembered it by the end of the show. But now that joke and Will's reaction to it will be the subject of a thousand think pieces and evaluations. The incident is going to be object of ridicule of every late night talk show host worth his salt, SNL is going to have a field day, overshadows his own triumph and will be brought up on every other award show this season. This image has already shot up 50,000% to the very top of the meme market, is going to be a trivia question someday and will also most certainly be in the trailer of his biography film years from now.

Yeah, that was stupid.

Barkeep. The good whiskey and just a dash of apple juice. Boy, I just don't know.

NBA Free Agency, what hath thou wrought?

Ramblings Post #371
It was on sale, so I'll admit I broke down and bought NB2K19. I mean like a sale sale. Not a Steam Level Sale, but still it was less than $20. And it's not...terrible. Or at least it isn't right now, but I'm certain they'll be turning the servers off in 12 months or so. Then we'll see. I had a few extra bucks and really should have bought myself that purple fake tiger leather jacket with the fake ostrich collar. Probably would have been a better investment.

I'm not going to say it was entertaining watching Stephen A. Smith lament his beloved Knicks have to settle for Julius Randle. I'm lying because it was entertaining, hell, it was downright funny. We all watched as the long standing NY home team disassembled itself, sending the immensely talented Porzingis sent to Dallas and giving itself tons of cap space...to end up with Randle, Taj Gibson, Reggie Bullock and Bobby Portis. No Kyrie Iriving, no Deandre Jordan, not even the gap year listed Kevin Durant. All of them are coming to New York, just not for the team Smith roots for. As he lamented, the Brooklyn Nets just got everything the Knicks fans wanted for Christmas..er, Free Agency.

I will give the NBA its props...the salary cap and all it's creative machinations are doing exactly what it was designed to do, keep the whole league competitive. In the age of the max and super-max contract, building a dynasty is one thing, keeping one in place for more than a few seasons is nigh impossible. Miami held sway for a moment, then Cleveland climbed to the fore, then the Warriors and now who will it be? The Sixers? The Timberwolves? The Jazz? Nobody saw Toronto before they got here, the Lakers look like they're back. And I know nobody was checking the Nets until Sunday night around 6:05pm. Wild and wooly ain't the word for it.

Between the sign-and-trade deals, restricted and unrestricted designations, the pick trading and the rest, maintaining a "Super Team" going forward is going to require another "super team" in the front office. This from a guy who actually plays the GM mode in NBA2K. The Warriors got away with holding the dynasty together for a while, but this year even they've had to spin off valuable pieces like Andre Iguodala and the aforementioned Durant. Although I understand for Durant it was a relationship thing, which is great that you have enough loot to just be able to align your path to be comfortable doing your job.

And aside from the Duke super-senior class that is the Pelicans, which despite my high hopes for Zion I so want that squad to be a bust, the whole of the NBA is in a kind of magical disarray. Which is good and bad. I've always been a team guy, as in I hope my team does great. Others are fans of individual players, as in they follow their favorite player wherever they end up. But the disarray means new combinations of stars, and new hot teams, which will create new excited fans, which all means new money. And incidentally new energy which is good for all of us too. But mostly the money. It also means the team you love might just be rebuilding this year, so suck it up. This year I think Free Agency delivered on both aspects, with teams beefing up and players securing the bag.

At least everyone can take pride that they're not the Wizards. Or the Knicks.

All this, and we still don't know where Kahwi Leonard is going yet! I'm willing to bet it's the Pacers or maybe the Nuggets. I kid. It's probably whoever can get him a good lease deal on 2004 Dodge Durango.

Barkeep. Keep it on ESPN or the NBA channel. And I'll need some paper to keep track. And I need to concentrate, so I'm not drinking. Just a beer.

I am my own worst enemy

Ramblings Post #370
I don't do as many personal posts anymore. I don't do a lot of things I used to do. My legend reads that my intent was to approach middle age with "a shotgun and bad intentions," but I now I think that me and middle age can sit down and talk about it, preferably over a drink or two. I have purposely made this blog rather banal; television & movie reviews and other inane rantings. There was a time when this was like therapy. Back before people asked for your website information on your job application. Hey, what I do on my time is my business. Mostly.

I am my own overthinking.

One of my terrible habits in my personal life is the way that I overthink an issue, teasing out possibility after possibility until the only course that makes sense is to figure out how to build a time machine because the moment has passed. Now, in a business setting I can assess what is front me and execute with confidence, ready to make changes, adjustments and refinements as need be as the results of my decision unfolds. This willingness to commit has value, it could actually be considered a skill, and it was one of the reasons I did well at a particular "ranch" for quite a long time. The difference between personal and professional is stark and actually quite weird, at least from the inside.

Which brings me to my current dilemma caused by overthinking: I'm thinking maybe I'd go visit someone. Or rather, I'm trying to figure out what would be a good time to visit someone. No, what I'm really trying to do is ask to see if my visiting someone would be cool with them. Well, I'm kind of wondering if that's a good idea...

..... four hours later....

...at the bottom of all this I want to find out if something that was there, is still there. And if it's mutual. To see what's what and who is whom. See my good-ass English, eh?No, the truth of the matter is I know the old proverb: The journey of thousand miles starts with a single step. But then I'm also smart enough to realize even a walk to the mailbox starts with a single step. Or the kitchen. You can't tell with that first step. And there-in lies the rub. How many steps do get? A marathon or a far enough to get a bag of chips from the cupboard?

In my personal pursuits, I'm classic overthinker. Anyone of the many novels I'm trying to work through has a slew of notes chock full of information about back stories and side pursuits that don't even go into the story. Some that only serve to mentally flesh out tertiary characters who might only pop up for one scene. And those side stories also need to make sense. Otherwise none of it does. But then that's a situation where there is no real clock, no looming deadline. Tinkering is a thing. But with the clocking ticking I execute. Hmmmm...

So, what's this all about? I would like to go and see Sporty. Yes, that Sporty. From the before time, the long, long ago. I would like to have a nice dinner or something, face to face, or really any where we can sit and talk. Or maybe go to a play or catch some live jazz then sit and talk over a few drinks. Yes, that is exactly what it sounds like: A date. That's it, that's all. And yes, I would travel just for a date if she said she was with it. You ever encounter someone with whom everything feels comfortable, natural, magical? For me, that's her. Or at least it used to be.

Am I hanging onto a memory? Yes, very much so, one that I would prefer not to spoil if possible. And I'm probably only remembering the good parts too, but it's a great set of memories. And it would be nice to do that again. But one of the grand issues of overthinking..and personal empathy... is looking at the situation from the other person's point of view.  In reality, it's been a long time since she and I shared the same air, and although we text each other regularly, digital versus live is a real gulf. Who am I to her? I'm certain that she's charted her own path and is doing her own thing. So who would I be? I'm not even sure what I'm hoping for on the other side of this. Sigh.

If this were a work situation, I'd make a decision based upon the available information and then go from there. So why can't I do that in personal life?

(Part of me remembers when she used to read this and I would have posted this hoping to avoid the question, a clear passive-aggressive act on my part that I should be past at my age. Now I'm fairly certain nobody reads this anymore as I'm too infrequent.)

My only choice is to ask the question. The one I've been rolling over in my head - make funny? Imply something? Be vague? Be direct? etc., - for the past two weeks. Yes, I still put a lot of thought into her. And I need to do have this conversation soon, because as I said...she charts her own path.

It's who I am. An overthinker.

Barkeep. Why are there five beers on the...Thinker, I said THINKER. Well, leave'em. They're already out. 

The end of the Game..of Thrones.

Ramblings Post #368
My previous post got so many things wrong it wasn't even funny. A whole bunch folks I had written off not only survived, but came out the other shining. Wow. But now it's over and all that's left is the finger pointing. Sophie Turner who played Sansa feels that people dissatisfied with the ending are being disrespectful to the people - the artists, camera people, stunt folk, etc., - for all the effort they put into trying to make it the best show. But I think of it like going to a restaurant: I don't care how much effort the chef, the wait staff, the decorator put into all of it, if you serve me crap then it's bad restaurant. That's not disrespect, that's just real.

This whole thing is just loaded with Spoilers, so watch the episode first....

Great shot. I mean, the cinematographer and effects dudes worked this one. 

It's interesting how many folks found the image of Daenerys framed by wings of her dragon Drogon as she strode into speak to her victorious troops so iconic completely missed the fact that the scenes that followed invoked a rally in Munich in 1942. I mean, the shot wasn't particularly subtle either, nor was her speech about keeping the victory train rolling. As much as storytelling has created the idea in us that the hero is following their destiny, the idea that the villains motivation is also their belief in destiny shouldn't be lost. But then truth be told, the only satisfying ending for many viewers was for Daenerys to be crowned Queen, for her to then be completely supportive and understanding of the North's concerns and have the formidable Sansa also be crowned Queen of the North, Arya to do something majestic and all the male characters to just admit the women were better rulers than them and be accepting and ultra-supportive of their new futures as well. 

I'm starting to realize most of the commentary I have read on Game of Thrones has a particular viewpoint.

 We waited almost two years for this ending, which at best lackluster. It was not as horrible as How I Met Your Mother or Seinfeld, but it was only satisfying in the way that a jelly sandwich is when you were expecting well crafted pizza or a perfectly cook steak; you're not hungry anymore, which is was the point, but not really. To me, the whole season felt like the producers just started checking off boxes to get the ending they had been assigned. HBO offered them a full season, and probably would have given them two more just to keep it going a little farther. But they said nope, we can get it all in. They were wrong.

And the last episode has so many holes though it's hard to square up. So Jon kills Daenerys, and Gray Worm doesn't just kill him? They were cutting necks in the streets just minutes ago, now there is a call for justice. And after Daenerys goes down, her followers didn't immediately go crazy? After all, they were just cutting necks in the streets minutes ago. Wait, seeing as how they literally arrested and executed Varsys in five minutes for betrayal, why wasn't Tyrion ashed up immediately? What happened to Arya's prophecy about the eyes? Was that the whole Prince that was Promised thing? Was the whole point of Jon's heritage just to unhinge Daenerys? They didn't do a damn thing else with it. Why was everyone cool with Sansa saying the North would go it alone? I mean, damn, Yara was right there already mad and spitting fire! And finally, hold everything else - since nobody saw Jon hilt up the tyrant to be, how did they know? Did noble ass Jon confess? It should have been: Daenerys? Oh, she just left on Drogon. She's the Queen, she doesn't answer to me, I don't know where they went. Anyway, I'm headed back to Winterfell, toodles ...

She looks like she'll be a warm, benevolent ruler, doesn't she? Shot via HBO

I may have to sign the petition to request HBO redo the whole last season. And this time make it 15 episodes, so we can see how this all is really supposed to play out.

Apparently, according to this and so many other great series, endings are hard. Very hard. It has been clearly evident to the readers of the novels that Daenerys was going to go mad at some point. She not only bought the whole destiny to rule thing, she'd got the matching loveseat and ottoman. And to be honest, while she is good at the conquer part - what with her dragon cheat code - she's never demonstrated an aptitude for the actual ruling part. She'd "liberated" Slaver's Bay and Meereen only to muck them up and abandon them for more conquest, something she was about to continue in Westeros. She'd just destroyed the capital and had no real plans to rebuild, or feed, or even manage her new subjects. Just more conquest. But her fanbase however really loved her story arc and all it's triumphs, weeee!

For all the moaning about how uninteresting Jon Snow was as a hero, apparently most viewers don't realize he was (is) the author's avatar. But I never expected him to get the throne but he was a just dude who valued life in an age where killing was Tuesday afternoon. I had a theory that Arya would house Daenerys, then Jon would have to defend her and when Drogon goes to ash him it in front of everyone still living turns out he's fireproof as well, confirming his heritage for whatever. Then he'd reject the throne and head back up north, where he'd become a lumberjack and...no, wait, wrong story. Stop at the head back up north part.

I personally found the ending ho-um. Neat, maybe a little too much for something that was so sprawling and gory. You just kind of expecting one last subversion, one last surprise, but I think the producers were already on to the next project in the mind. Or at least it felt that way. When they say that the book was better than the movie (or visual interpretation) this is what they're talking about. I think a lot of folks are going to read the books - should they ever get finished - just so they can sleep at night.

But here we are. It's over. done.  

So who really won the Game of Thrones? Did Bran have it rigged from the start? No, the winner clearly was Bronn. Because while Brienne got knighted, Grey Worm lived to the end, Samwell got to have a kid and Sansa got a kingdom all her own, good ole' Bronn went from busted ass Sell-Sword to owning the fabulous estates at HighGarden and a seat on the Small Council as Master of Coin, without having to fight the dead at the Battle of Winterfell or face Drogon at the Sack of Kings Landing. Pretty damn sweet if you ask me.

Barkeep. Some Dornish wine. What? Seriously, no one has cashed in on that yet? Wow. Okay, then whiskey and some water. Make it ice from the Wall. Seriously, no one? Slackers.

Got my ticket to Westworld

Rambling Post #345
I got my drink, my snacks, and my wrap although it's mid-April and it shouldn't be this damn cold anywhere in the state. Ah, but now children comes good television. Well, technically we already got some pretty good television, but extra good prime cut TV is back. That television version of that spot that has the good chicken, and the sides are the bomb. Even the tea is slammin. That spot. So 'scuse me while I get myself back up to speed her. 

Westworld is back. Kind of like Game of Thrones lite for those not up to speed. The sprawling cast of characters in show about a full size open world game returns to our screens with a brand new set of questions and let's keep you guessing along its non-linear story-lines worthy of bad semi-science fiction that answers to ratings and not story. It's only episode one and bam, you need to figure out just how cold blooded is the Deleos Corp? What does that one host have in its brain module that no other host has and why is it so valuable? How long until somebody figures out good ole Bernard is a host? Ford built an ocean and nobody noticed? What kind of foolishness did Ford leave for ex-Man in Black old William? Are all the WW hosts dead-dead, or just host-dead? What the hell do you mean - Park 6? And if you could fill in the blanks between that night and that beach, kay thanks. So many questions, so few episodes. 

By the way, one of the weird concepts I hear about over and over again in critiques and viewer opinions about Westworld is how the character Delores and the other hosts were defiled over and over again and thus are justified in a howling rage against the world, i.e., the guests and the staff of Westworld. One asks how could these guests and the staff have done those things, making them live through that torment over and over again? Let me venture and answer: Um, because they didn't know. Looking at the show as a whole, what Westworld was designed to be and the Wyatt subprogram that Delores is still running despite her being "free," a whole lot of people have gotten up in arms about how things look instead of how things are.

Let me state now, SPOILER THEORY ALERT or whatever, - I don't think Delores and them even make it out of the park this season. And I mean the Big park - Delos World or Delos Island or whatever it's called. There is a shot in the previews where host Hector, Mauve's bandito buddy, is shown in a modern setting - but nobody else is moving. My thinking is that besides WestWorld and SamuraiWorld (why not an historical fiction land for the massive Chinese market?), there is SafariWorld, or as it's referred to here Park 6, and three other parks we haven't seen yet, one of which holds a futuristic city - maybe from the source material its the much maligned FutureWorld. Just my thoughts

Back to my other thought - because someone is about to invoke the idea of not knowing you've caused pain as false absolution - If you've ever played a video game, how much respect to give an NPC, a Non Player Character? As the player, do you not slay the dragon? Punch the goblin? Obey the traffic laws in a game of GTA? Playing the game doesn't make the guests evil or dirty, it just makes them -- somebody playing a game? As far as the guests were concerned, the hosts were toys. Very sophisticated toys, but toys nonetheless. And the techs? Exactly how much deference do you give to what is essentially a piece of equipment? And as for seeing Delores as a woman unleashed, um, no, she already killed the two men directly responsible for her and all the other hosts(?) "torments". First Arnold, who went way beyond the original scope of what the park was supposed to be and created something magical - causing this sentience situation. Then Ford, who kept rolling the hosts back to lay the foundation for their eventual breakthrough. There were no other parties in the loop, and both of those situations were necessary to even get to this point of self-awareness. Further, if you pay close attention, there are only three "sentient" hosts - Delores, Mauve, and Bernard. All the rest are still running loops with the safeties off. Teddy had no idea what Delores was talking about. Hector is just tool for Mauve to use just as she was used. How are these characters better those they despise?

No, I'm not a Delos corporate PR guy.

People who shoot people in video games aren't evil. At least I don't think I am. And in the context of the show, to the guests and board members, this whole complex is just a super realistic 3D video game. Although it's fairly clear the farmer's daughter's "sidequest" featuring Delores was intentionally sadistic, it wasn't a required play through. I want the show to be about bigger issues too, but sometimes it's not. It's just a show.

Just to be honest, to me the show feels like it's missing something without Ford. To me half the fun of the first season was figuring out what the hell the old schemer was up to or whose side he was on. While everyone else ran around trying pull a fast one or three, Ford pulled the strings just enough to make them dance to a tune only he could hear. In retrospect it was beautiful. So, I guess this is the show's Ned Stark moment. Where the person who held the first season together goes out and then it gets...interesting?

And because I haven't even asked if the Chinese are coming back, what Mauve hopes to find when she locates the simulacrum that was her child in a former iteration, how the security chief survived, or if the new Delos guy even knew what Hale was up to, this could be a pretty good season. Hell, if they do it right, a pretty good show. As long as they've got most of the answers at the end of THIS season and not season 3.

Barkeep, let's give me the good whiskey and not whatever they used to serve in Sweetwater. Okay? 

A good story can come from anywhere...

Ramblings Post #302
Sometimes you just find a good story. You sit down and read the first paragraph and you have a few minutes so you keep going. And then you get interested - in a particular character, or a setup and suddenly you find that thirty minutes have passed. But you have to know what happens, so you keep reading. It isn't your normal subject matter, or your normal style, but you keep going. That is good writing. And I just found it on twitter of all places Who would have thunk it? 

I read Zola's story without the intention of actually reading it. I stumbled across it on Reddit, where someone had nicely linked the entire thing, and intended to read a few lines to see what it was all about. I mean, the lead-in was interesting, how did she fall out with the other girl? I don't usually go for things like this, on it's face it seemed almost flimsy, like it it would be over in a few lines. I like to believe I'm a more sophisticated reader, but maybe 50 tweets later as the girls set up shop to start trapping after the club didn't pan out and Zola schooled Jess on "valuation", I was hooked, even at a 140 characters per chapter.

As you know by now the story had everything - plot twists, character development, sex, violence, a very film noir feel and as one twitter follower noted, even passed the Bechdel test. I could see the characters even though she didn't really have space to describe them. It was funny, tragic, parts were a little disturbing and at times it was just flat out amazing. I can't say if the whole thing was true, and even if it wasn't, it was still a very good story.

I can only hope that the stories I put together are this good, and I intended to stick to a basic structure, not just pour it onto the soil like this. It is in reality a little intimidating. It's like trying to compose a song for weeks then hearing that someone made up a hit while eating his breakfast cereal. You wonder a little about effort. You wonder. But you keep writing.

One hopes that Zola's story will be a movie soon. Twitter is already picking out cast members. I see Keith David as the first old guy, at the restaurant when they meet. It's just a feeling I get.

Barkeep. A nice bottle of Merlot. And some pickled eggs.        

Welcome to South Carolina! Lets get Wet!

Ramblings Post #298
You don't think about some things just because they've always been there, and so you expect that they always will be. But then things happen, like a freak rainstorm that just keeps it coming and you're suddenly an amateur meteorologist. Or if you live on the West Coast, brush fire expert. It just happens.  

I'm from South Carolina, born and raised. It is my home state from the empty back-roads that just seem to the lead to other empty back-roads all the way to the sleepy metropolitan-ish kinda parts of the state that stay open until 'pertinear 10:30! (excepting Waffle Houses and Juke joints). And all of it is about to become beachfront property. 

I kid. 

I called the folks to check on them Sunday, and they are fine. I just recently realized that my parents live near the top of a long sloping hill, partially because the actual road they live on isn't very long and partially because you just don't think about it, it's just where the house has always been. A very, very deep and very wide lake would have be created for them to be in any danger. My grandfather lives a few miles from an actual lake, but I was told that he was good, and my aunts closer to the coast were good too. At least I think they're good, because according to my Mom their only concern seemed to be missing Sunday service. 

It is moments like this where we're isolated from our neighbors, well state neighbors, because in Atlanta people were tailgating for the Falcons game.  Not to say that they're insensitive, but isn't happening halfway around the world, this is two hours down I-20. This is a day trip. Note that I make these comments while I sprawled on my couch upset that that the NFL's Injury Fairy has apparently bought a house in Dallas. At least I thought about it though. One of my co-workers said she honestly had no idea of what was going on just one state over.  

But with the news that the family is safe,  and relatively dry, my thoughts turn to things political. It's the politican season, what can you do? Anyway, moments like this make you wonder, considering the number of roads washed out and bridges closed over safety concerns if...and it's a big IF I know, if something like this will get the Terrorist treatment and spur the a great upswing in government infrastructure projects. The kind of thing that has a tendency to build a hard days work for fair days pay kind of pride in America while proving to a lot of people who failed civics that the government CAN create jobs. Plus a job building a bridge in SC is hard to outsource. I am well aware that a return to the massive job creation of the building of a interstate highway is probably out of the question, but this is an opportunity to pump a little juice into the local economies. 

A Republican state too? This has all the hallmarks of something that will set you apart from the field. Let's see who will jump on this one, or am I being too optimistic?  

Disney bought Lucasfilm. Thank God.

Ramblings Post #206
I have somewhere, downloaded from the internet someplace, a copy of the first draft of Star Wars. Reading it is much like watching the comedy short of a fictionalized George Lucas in college, where you can see where the concepts that eventually become the icons we all know originated. Its almost a fascinating study in development. I am getting my geek on over here. Man, I should be writing.

 
I too waited breathlessly for the first prequel, the one which would actually start the story after the first movie was cryptically called "Chapter Four". Star Wars, which captivated millions and solidified the modern "franchise" process of movie making promised to be epic storytelling. Now, I didn't wear a storm trooper outfit or anything like that, but I dutifully stood in line and paid my money. What did I get? Trade Federation woes, a crude Jewish stereotype, pod racing, a kid who couldn't act, Midichlorians and more things you could eventually make into merch than you could count.  And Jar Jar.

I was not amused.

I didn't even waste the energy to go see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The whole Lucasfilm experience began to feel like going back to a place you loved as child only to find out they've torn down the old burger stand, cut down the natural forest for a golf course and setup cabana and ATV rentals on what was an unspoiled beach. Memory didn't match the new reality and I felt cheated. Finding out the entire Star Wars saga is really about Darth Vader's evolution was a truly WTF moment. I'd just about written the whole thing off as something that used to be, that was never going to be as good as it was.

This sale gives me hope. A new hope.

George Lucas is not a good writer. Think about it - his old mentor, his two kids and the two droids he had as kid pop up on the Death Star and all Darth Vader gets from the force is a mental tickle? There is the huge time hole/anomaly in The Empire Strikes Back that we all over look, along with many other moments that we simply all went along with in the original trilogy because it was a good story. The prequels made little blips that only geeks would normally spot glaring, or worse created new problems in the original trilogy. It was kind of sad.

The heart of good movies in the modern era is writing. Not special effects or explosions, but good writing. Or at least writing good enough to hide obvious stupidity (I swore it was just good writing until I checked the top films for 2012 - 2011. The Smurfs? Ted? Really?) The new groove in Hollywood is character development, something Lucas completely threw off the lot once he'd figured out CGI. Developing the character from brute to hero, or from brooding to active is a trick that makes people re-watch movies. It does not usually however, sell merch if done wrong. But, as it turns out...Disney and its partners (Pixar) are kinda is good at both.

I'm at heart a writer. Maybe not a "finisher", as my brother likes to point out, but a writer nonetheless.  And I know it hurts to hand over your creations to someone else. But it was time. George had done all he could, and rather than let someone else dabble at it then snatch back control... like your average record producer, he did what had to be done. I will note that in the pics for the deal, he didn't exactly look overjoyed. 

I personally would have thoughts to rights to Star Wars would have been worth more than four billion though. But I understand there is stock involved, so, *insert shrug here.* That Disney pretty much owns my childhood now is beside the point. For now. 

Barkeep. Give me whatever Han Solo was drinking when he shot Greedo. And yes, Han shot first.

If this happens though, I'm suing.

Red Tails - a film rationale

Ramblings Post #179
I love a good movie. Well, let's quantify that because I love some pretty dumb ones too. I love movies that suck me into the story, or make me wish I was the star. Or even better make me forget for a few minutes the world around me. And is funny. But not stupid. Okay, I don't know what I like until I see it. And then some films still have to grow on me. I'm not even sure why I wrote this now.


For the last two decades, in a Hollywood heavyweight has been struggling to bring a story to the big screen starring Black heroes of World War II. Now, frustrated to the point of action beyond all movie making logic, he has gone out on a limb and put up his own money (a big filmmaker no-no) to get made a fairly large budgeted big screen adaptation of the story of the Tuskegee Airmen. And by doing so, he has accidentally put the idea of black film-making at risk because if a film by someone like him, an icon of nearly three decades of cinema, can't turn a profit here then the bulk of black films will be relegated to whatever Tyler Perry or the rapper of the minute wants to give us and bargain basement labor of love indie films. And nobody wants just that as the whole of black cinema.

Yet black women are talking about boycotting it.

Are kidding me? Did the "if this doesn't work nothing else even gets a chance" discussion even get acknowledgement?

In the interest of full disclosure, I'm not a big George Lucas fan. But his explanation of the whole system and why Hollywood is reluctant to make movies starring black characters shouldn't be dismissed because we don't like it. After all, he as well as anyone would know. To many studios he's money in the bank, so he should have had it easy. Instead, it took in twenty years and he's still going it alone on this one.

And black women are talking about boycotting it.

The two primary reasons I've seen today are "why support this and not an indie black film (Pariah)" or the "the movie doesn't have a black female love interest" so it must be writing black women out of history.

Pariah, for those of you who don't know, is a small indie film about a young black girl coming to grips with own sexuality in the face of her friends and family. I've only seen the trailer, but it looks sensitive and poignant, a lovely exploration of a young girl finding who she is in a world that might not accept her. But in Atlanta, it's playing at ONE location. People who like this film should rejoice in George Lucas's film. Why? Because if Lucas is successful, then movies like Pariah might be able to find a wider audience.

The other argument is one a bit more visceral. In the film, one of the black actors has a Italian girl friend (in Italy), so along with no major white hero, there is also no black female love interest. This I realize touches a nerve. However, the answer is the same for the first argument. If this film is successful, then those films that follow can include more and broader roles black actresses.

We've fallen into the instant gratification concept to hard here, in that instead of getting this victory we've become intent on "righting a wrong". Does Pariah deserve a wider audience? Yes. Will boycotting Red Tails get it one? No. Do black actresses need more roles in Hollywood? Yes. Will boycotting Red Tails and causing the first major black film in years to fail make that any easier? No. So why boycott?

No, that's a real question.

Because I don't get it. Black cinema will survive no matter how Red Tails does, but this idealistic martyr concept won't advance any black filmmakers agenda, only hinder the opportunity for what is to come. And opportunity is the heart of the matter, for without that we are nothing. And for the record, I'm probably going to buy a ticket to Red Tails and then not go see it, just support the idea that black people can be heroes on their own.

Black people can be heroes? Well, that's just a "horrible" message to send anyone.

Barkeep. Something smooth.

Casey Anthony (as required by Internet Rule 47854b)

Ramblings Post #152
There are certain Rules. You don’t lead somebody on. If get served, then you tip. You don't talk about fight club. You don't ask the stripper for change. You don't press the little red button. The correct answer for "does this make my butt look fat" is always NO. And if it is a hot topic, your blog must comment on it...if only in passing. So, today, we discuss of all things, a trial that happened in Florida.

The only reason I understood there even was a trial was that I would sometimes catch the lurid headlines in the tabloids as I checked out at the grocery store. I’ve been in school, then in summer school, pretty much since 2008 when this all went down. And since I wasn’t getting a check and my focus really wasn’t criminal law, I really wasn’t all that pressed to know all the facts. I got briefs to write, cases to read, code to learn. So today, when I slipped into the nearly empty chicken factory as part of the skeleton crew the idea that we’d stop to hear the verdict hadn’t even crossed my mind. Verdict? For who? What? But lo and behold, the people in my section let me know when it would be read - 2:15, and went up to the big screen in the main break area to watch. The glee in which they trooped up stairs has to bring to mind the idea of Romans heading off to watch the lions at the Coliseum.

Boom. Not Guilty of the first three BIG counts.

You’d thought they let OJ off again.

The people in my office were mortified. I think my facebook almost melted down. Comments from those legal classmates of mine were a clash of pragmatic thinking, citing reasonable doubt, or wondering exactly how the defense pulled it off. Someone else suggested they put Nancy Grace on suicide watch. My other folks decried the justice system, the sense of the jurors, the complete unreasonableness of the verdict, the insanity of it all. You know, I'm getting the idea they thought she might have done it.

I had to read about the whole thing on Wikipedia.

I got nothing.

Wait, is this when she starts the search for the “real killers”? I mean, since OJ is off the case....

Got it in one.

Cowboys...um, win?

Ramblings Post #157
Someone once said you should never have a regret about a something in the past. That's because at once point, that thing you regret is exactly what you wanted and got. Which makes the other statement, be careful what you wish for even more apt. One of the great problems with wanting something you don't have, and that in reality, you don't know what you're gonna do with it when you actually do get it. Makes you think.


For the first time I can remember, I am less than enthusiastic about a Cowboys win.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they won. They went in there and held on, played good ball and took advantage of the opportunities afforded them. However I am less happy than normal.

My team is the Cowboys. But Sporty's team is the Colts.

You see there are a lot of great qualities about Sporty. After a few Cowboy losses she was nice enough to send a quick text telling me not to let it get to me. What can I say, I do love her. I also love and know that she is a fierce competitor, serious about her game (whatever the sport), always comes to play and even in a support role, will be there for her team. That said, she has a real problem with losing. Anything. At all.

To reiterate, losing does not sit well with her. Just doesn't.

Being a Colt fan living in Dallas doesn't help. At least not this week. On Mondays, she usually sends me a email or text to get the week started, a bit of encouragement because she knows where I work, and that I'm in school, and that the we're all up against it to some degree. A few kind words mean a lot.

I don't see me getting those words until Tuesday. Maybe Thursday.

In fact, I may just send her a few words instead. I mean, once Peyton pulls it together the Colts are still in the hunt, whereas the Cowboys are just playing playoff spoiler for somebody late in the season. And for Sporty's sake I'm hoping it wasn't the Colts.

Barkeep, my girl needs a pick me up and I need something to keep my mouth shut before I celebrate my ass into a corner.

A voice in the darkness

Ramblings Post #113
The movie version of me, and we all have a movie version of ourselves, is a little taller, a lot thinner and just a little bit more confident than I. But at this stage in the drama (er, well comedy drama) that is my life would be like the end of a Bob Hope movie I saw once. After all his adventures and saving the day, his partner Bing Crosby gets the girl - and this from a 2 minute cameo just seconds before the closing credits. It’s your life, but I suggest you get script approval.

Things are...complicated.

Is this over?

I found out recently, and apparently for some time now, that Sporty has not only located but has been reading this blog. She let me know when she referred to herself as "Sporty", correcting me in a text when I called her Sunshine, a allusion to how she brightens my day. To put it mildly I was a little surprised. Then I thought about what that means.

And its kinda good and kinda bad.

Good in that a lot of stuff I probably put in here are things I should have said to her, and now she knows them without me actually having to voice them. That and she's not mad at me for writing about her. And bad because knowing she's reading may affect the honesty of future disclosures [self censorship] and the overarching concept of "screaming into the virtual darkness". Kind of a toss up really.

One can't really put something on the internet and expect no one to find it, especially since it's linked to my Facebook page, and she's one of my FB friends. But then so many people on Facebook never look at any thing beyond their own page after the first few days, so you figure, why not?

But then the girl has always been full of surprises and has a need to know, which is part of the attraction. *sigh*

In reality, there is hardly anything magical in here, nothing Sex in the City movie-esque as when Carrie found the emails from Big (yes, I did watch the FIRST movie). Some of the more intense things she's probably seen before. One or two moments when I really was "screaming into the virtual darkness" she probably hadn't, but realized must have happened. Nothing soul shattering. And since I'd made it fairly crystal clear to her my feelings, and we both know that they're closer to drug fantasy that any real possiblity, what I guess she would see in here is a few fleeting moments where I indulge in that fantasy. And talk about law school and politics. And restaurants.

It does however paint a fuller picture of me.

Wait, there goes that pesky hope again. Sometimes you get a little disoriented when you have to reclassify a hope as a dream. And hope is something I can't afford.

Barkeep. Riesling. Two glasses. Thanks.

Bar Chatter

Bar Chatter #4
When it's not enough to make a post, but deserves to go out to the world... it's just Bar Chatter.

That thing that Kanye did at the VMAs (which I did not watch) was not cool.

It's called Youtube people.

Had he said what he said in a little interview piece thirty seconds later, it would have been one thing. A little snide perhaps, but perfectly acceptable given the catty nature of the music industry. But to walk up on stage and break into her time... if I was that little girl's brother they'd be bailing me out of jail this morning.

Why did he act like that little girl didn't work just as hard at her craft as his favorite did? One of the idiots in my office - one of the black idiots - called it a powerful statement. I personally think it was a powerful statement of ignorance.

Damn Kanye? Ain't it enough that you "theoretically" getting you some Amber Rose?

[gratuitous comment to justify Amber Rose photo post]

Photo from Complex.com
Damn she got a look I like...

Updates from the Crisis...

Ramblings Post #41
when you were a kid, the idea of growing up almost seemed a something that would never happen, and teenager, everything you wanted to do was just a bit of our grasp. Now as I, for lack of better metaphor, round the post for home, I realize that maybe I should have run a little slower. Sometimes being in a hurry is a bad thing. That and you have to learn to lay your cards down sometime...but that's another post.

Updates from the Crisis...

What crisis you ask? Me hitting this damn age milestone, that's what crisis! Who cares about Iran, the economy, gun control, buffalo wing secrets, why I can't get Crunchy Cheez Doodles with any regularity, or why Publix doesn't sell orange kool-aid.... do you know how old I am? This is the line of demarcation. This is the number. This seperates youth from the rest of them. Or well, now, Us. This is the proverbial it.

I recently talked to Schmoopy about the things all men talk about at this point in their lives. And since I can't afford to buy a Porsche or need hair plugs or have a wife to dump for a "fun proportioned exotic entertainer"...my crisis is pretty much limited to actually talking and feeling. I think I inadvertently enjoyed some of the more flashy versions for temporary male insanity that may have been in vogue two or three years ago about five or six years ago. My friend kind of obliquely, in that way that only good friends trying to spare feelings can, put it that I am currently a "great gift in a bad package". She specifically mentioned that I was not ugly, but more that I need to smooth out the fat...er, rough...edges. Okay, she didn't say fat, I did. She reads this from time to time and as I told her when she thought she might have hurt my feelings with package comment: "If you can't be honest with your friends, do you really like them?" .

So gym time, which I've already started, stays a constant.

There are lot of other things I need to do. I need to finish my book. One of my books. Any one of my books. The Caribbean absurd adventure novel, the Journalist intrigue political novel, the goofy crime novel, or anyone of the other concepts rolling around in my brain. Or one of the movie ideas, or the computer game ideas...or something. Or least do the yard work, or get the damn furniture, or start painting or take up line dancing or just do something! I need a sense of accomplishment. School you say? Um...no I say.

Let's just say my life feels a little empty.

But as a pragmatist, I'm a little scared to rush off trying to fill it, as I know I'll only do something I'll regret. I'm usually good for that. Knowing when to hold them and when to fold them sometimes doesn't come with age. So where do we go from here?

In that by "we", I mean "me" and by "go from here", I really mean "do now?" But the other way sounded more ...grown up.

Barkeep...old age already set in. Do I qualify for a senior discount?

New Lessons from the Obama Presidency

Internet Fodder Post #3
You ever see something on the internet while you're just browsing and have something to say about it, but realize that you don't have the vast forum that whoever you read has, so that you can put your word to the people's ear in such a like fashion? Well, I do. But I do have a forum, maybe not as vast or as neatly kept, and I'm going to spout off like the last person. Well, maybe not spout off, but at least say something....

The internet site theRoot.com has an interesting article on what Single Women could learn from Michelle Obama, asking the question would your average black woman today have even considered dating a guy who was, at that time, a broke big eared community organizer with a funny name.

Who knew? I mean..really?

It was as though they had unleashed the lions at the Roman Colosseum the comments were so thick with criticism.

"it's so sad to see silly black women like the author of this pathetic piece of so-called writing and, predictably, black men telling black women how flawed we are what we need to do to be appealing to black men, blah blah blah."

"Nonetheless, it seems that the most generous and underappreciated of all women are still getting blamed for the social ills of the world..."

"He was not hostile to black women, or color-struck. If he was raised by blacks, he'd share the contempt they all have for black women."

And that's just a quick sample from ten on the first page of the comments when I read (there were a lot reposts. People wanted to make sure they got heard!). The comments were so rife with defensiveness and animosity to the concept that maybe, just maybe, the black woman might be some of the cause of her own problems, that it struck me there might be a real problem. Logic says if the there is an issue and the only common denominator is you, then you must be the problem. Response after response asked why should the woman lower her standards instead of the man meeting those standards? Obviously something was wrong with the man, not the woman. And it continued...

The funnier part of this, in my opinion, is the article wasn't about lowering standards. The article as written was about even after a guy has met the basic standards of education, employment and some social standing, Type A women found the new hurdles and other grounds to reject him, from his lack of aggressive nature, or his lack of an appropriate car, or that he might like Star Trek, or his height, or that he drank hot chocolate instead of coffee.

The standard that the author, herself a Type A personality woman of color, had asked her sisters to reconsider was the grading between the A+ and B+. The responses she got seemed to cover the anger of the idea of giving everyone a passing grade for showing up. It's though they have an argument on deck, ready for the issue. People, reading is fundamental.

One of the reasons I'm on my health kick is the realization that although I have a sparkling wit and charming personality, a refined palate and adventurous soul, a generous and loving nature, am degreed, employed and attempting to better myself with a graduate education, as well as being unfailingly modest (ha!), it turns out all that means a lot less if you don't have six pack abs or good bit of personal "funding."

There I said it.

So the question isn't who is right and who is wrong in the this dance of the sexes. Both sides are flawed to some degree, and should admit it. And after that we all need to take the time to re-assess who we are and what we really do bring to the table. Remember the old proverb: You cannot reward a man with that which he does not value.

And yes, I'm sorry ladies, it means you might have to date the brother with the ashy toes. Who knows, he might be worth keeping a little bottle of lotion in your purse.

Barkeep...whatever, I'm tired of arguing this point.

I'm doing it to myself

Ramblings Post #32
What are our triggers? Those things that actually spur us into action as opposed to those things that were supposed to spur us into action. A lot of my personal starters stem from puberty and the usually well suppressed memories and the teenage thinking inflated traumas contained therein. Sometimes it's an innocent comment that cuts to the core, a feeling, sometimes its a scent, but whatever the term, I think I should be in control of them. And I find out more and more, I'm not.



I ate a whole box of Nilla wafers in less than 24 hours.

I don't normally keep snack food in my house for just this reason. It was easy to get a few more, then a few more, then a napkin full and suddenly "where did the rest go?" Oh.

I picked up the box on a whim, because the people ate Wise haven't figured out the person doing the stocking in Atlanta is either an idiot or is hoarding the Crunchy Cheez Doodles for himself. If you double the price and it still sells out, so.... let's load up on a completely different product? (Note: to Wise Foods executive reading this I am a Publix shopper)

So I bought some Nilla wafers. Something haven't eaten in forever. They were so good.

And I ate the whole box.

I already feel big. Okay, check that...I feel fat. And since it's beginning to dawn on me that a sparkling wit and personality really doesn't offset a gut, I need to do something. I still remember that stinging comment I overheard, being described by a someone I met at a party as the "fat guy in the kitchen". I had not thought about that in a long time.

My gym membership is about to go big time.

Barkeep. Water. Large amounts.

Do we really want Barack the Magic Negro?

This is a political post

My president, and he's my president until he really fucks up and at that point my memory will get fuzzy, is catching some flak over this whole "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy and the dismissal of Lt. Dan Choi, a West Point grad and Iraq War vet. My president is being taken to task because while he indicated campaigning that discharging military personnel on the basis of sexual orientation during wartime was a waste of resources, now that he is in the White House, he's not doing anything about it when implored. When Jon Stewart, who has messed and become an actual news guy, starts in on you, well it can be said you've kind of screwed the pooch. Unless doing that will get you thrown out...I digress.

So why doesn't President Obama take a page from the book of President Harry Truman, who in 1948 simply issued an Executive Order to end military racial segregation, and just take out the old magic presidential pen and make everybody see it our way?

Two things. What is our way? And whose next?

Obama is not Superman.
Image by Alex Ross.

Much like African Americans had to get over the idea that having a black president meant everything changed instantly (it didn't), members of the Gay and Lesbian community need to get the same grip on reality. Everything is gonna take time.

Didn't we just vote out someone who abused the power to simply "decide" what was right? Or was it we voted out somebody who didn't decide the way "we" wanted? Wouldn't that be ironic? To simply to decree by executive fiat, which is what it would be, would be no more right now than it was in 1948. Yes, what Truman did to assist with the desegration of the races was wrong when he did it, even though it was the right thing to do. Why you ask? Because it circumvented the system. And we need the system. That system is pretty damn good.

In 1948 Truman got away with it because nobody expected a repeat. Obama isn't gonna get that luxury.

If President Obama simply signed and executive order tonight ending the "don't ask, don't tell" policy tonight, there would be nine special interest groups knocking on the West Wing doors by 8am tomorrow asking for similar action to correct an "injustice". I pulled the number nine out of my ass, but there would be three hundred by noon and countless more by dinner time. The pundits, talking TV heads and special interest groups would start a whole new round of vilification to get the president to magically fix something else. Rush Limbaugh's favorite song "Barack, the Magic Negro" would come to life.

And what happens when he makes a "decision" that "we" don't like? Or backfires? And who is we? I'm certain the Republicans that they were "we" when Dubya was making his "decisions" and they were doing "what was right", damn the system. And as we just witnessed, circumventing "the system" tends to mess things up. See example Wall Street, war on Terror, etc.

Man that's a lotta quotes.

In the military they instruct you to obey orders, and in this case they were not obeyed. That's a scary concept right there. Lt. Dan Choi knew the rule and broke it. Not because it was an illegal order, but because he did not agree with it. And that's not an excuse. And like all martyrs before him (not mention soldiers who failed to follow regulations), he will have to die on his metaphorical sword - in this case, before justice prevails. He has my sympathies.

In our age of instant everything, the idea of ongoing struggle seems to perplex us.

Let's do a little exercise. (The phrase "Yapple Dapple" comes from a cartoon I'm too lazy to explain, but it's used as a genie's magic phrase that makes things just poof into existence.) So...I personally don't agree with the "Don't ask, Don't tell" rule, and yes, I think it an ignorant bigoted waste of resources. So we should change that rule. Yapple Dapple. And I believe that men shouldn't be forced to pay child support for children who are not theirs. So that should be changed too. Yapple Dapple. I believe a credit card company shouldn't be able to raise your interest rates without cause. So he can just wave the wand and get that one as well. Yapple Damn Dapple. You know I also believe that the national speed limit should be as fast as your car can go. So we should change that rule too. Yapple Dapple. I don't like mean people and chicks who I like but who don't want to go out with me, so we need to...

...you see where this is going. If we move the line, especially in this day and age, we have to ask where do we move it too? And who gets to make that decision? The system of checks and balances goes out the window. And there are number of people who would be happy with that...until he makes a decision they don't like. Then they'll want his head.

Which is why the President has decided not to touch the this whole issue. And that's kind of why we elected him.

Drive By Updates...

Quick and Dirty Post
There is no august lead in. No great or even insipid guide to what's on my mind or even a ludicrous but oddly true story or concept to get you warmed up. Don't have the time. Be happy I even got this up. Dutty somambeetches.

It's Wednesday. And it's on.

By next Monday, meaning that all blog entries will be written on the job when I can't steal the time to study, I have to complete two legal memos. Neither of them went especially well the first time, but I've got prayer and a mildly unhinged mind on my side. And some determination. And at least six precooked meals.

It's amazing now that I look back on my life pre-law school and realize that man, I hung the hell out a lot. A whole lot. And now I'm in a book six nights a week. The seventh is usually spent sleeping.

If I'm still sane on the other side of December 11th (the final final of this years's finals) I just need an outing. Something with possibility. It will be the Christmas Party Season and I know that I've got at least one holiday cocktail party to host. I hope.

Why is it all summer nothing was going on, and now everything happens at once.

Let's see: Finals. Papers. Still haven't' gotten a bill for the security home improvements so that's hanging over my head. Went to see the dentist and oh, I need my wisdom teeth out and he'll need about of $5000 (and have I thought about braces?). Car still needs a touch of work. Still living with one apartment's worth of furniture in a four bedroom house. Yard improvements. Massive yard improvements. New bills.

This could just get depressing if I keep going.

And if last weekend was slow, this week it's going to stop. I started working on Memo one last night, will finish up the basics tonight (some of it at work!), and then work on just citiations and format Thursday night for four hours. It's gonna take that long. Then start on Memo two on Friday night, which is going to be a beast. I don't expect to actually recognize it's Saturday on the day, but have a little Saturday commenoration on Sunday night. Then I start the studying for finals in earnest.

Oh the joy of education.

Dutty somenabeetches...

Barkeep. Just start pouring.

Late Nights and Books of Gobblety Gook

Mental Rehab Post #24
Nothing like real life to get your head out the clouds, or your own ass, and get the new-ish you headed in some direction. It may not be the direction you want to be going, but anyplace other than here might be a better yet. My grandfather used to counsel that no matter how bad the storm got, even if you were just crawling along, to "keep moving." It's a bigger metaphor than I remember.

Last night I got home around 9:30pm, figured out what i was going to make for dinner. turned on the oven, opened the laptop to get started on the next portion of Research assignment, worked through roughly 90% of it....and then suddenly it was just after midnight. Just like that. Whoosh. I had fallen asleep.

So dinner was lunch meat sandwich and glass of kool-aid.

Since I was up, I went ahead and re-read for the class I had tonight. This would be the class I think I understand the most. And quite strangely the words on the page had returned to gobblety gook after the previous two weeks I had thought I had a good handle on things. I actually like the prof, he's quick on his feet, a good communicator, interesting to listen to, so I had been getting it the past few weeks.

But I got my first memo back last night before my other class, and that may have colored everything.

In class I joked after we reviewed how it was supposed to look that she could just keep mine. I wasn't that far off. Apparently I'm going to have to either unlearn how to write like I'm writing now, or learn how to turn off one type of writing and turn on the other. It's a tricky thing. Most people don't write except when they have to, but I write because I like it. It's how I express myself. So I'm going to have an issue a lot of my classmates won't: how to change a fundamental part of who am...In addition to a fundamental change in my way of thinking, which is the overall process of law school.

Great.

On the social front...well, that about wraps that up.

Shade is in town for, er, something. We're doing a birthday brunch this weekend. We've been on the phone a lot the past few days as she clarifies her current relationship with her ..um... suitor. I always find the idea that a woman can be confused about a man's intentions a funny concept. When we were eighteen we were supposed to be coy. As we get older we all should have figured it out somewhere along the way. To get what I want, I have to give them what they want. And I keep meeting people who act surprised that other people have their own wants and needs.

And I guess we'll call her Spanky...is also in town for the FAMU-TSU game this weekend in the Georgia Dome which it looks like due to my educational responsibilities, I will NOT be attending. A four hour football game and the hustle bustle before and after is just too much. Spanky will be disappointed, or not, because I think her "plans" will be arriving. A hour and half for brunch on Sunday for Shade's birthday might be too much as well, but that will be a "game time" decision.

Work is work, only really compressed. I'm still the point man on so many issues it's not funny. And the soap opera drama...if only I could put the names to go with this. The chick whose going away party I attended a few weeks ago had a skeleton bone fall out of her closet since she left. She was the "office tease." Which in turn dominoes this other party's business into the street. That would be the "office high post." And since it involves married and unmarried peoples involved in increasing unlikely and odd combinations of nekkid shenanigans and the associated falsehoods plus misrepresentations that accompany such occurrences, let's just say I don't even miss television right now.

Now this isn't the first time this has happened around the office. Where I work is a colorful place that just seems to be a hotbed of ... she used to do what, Maury "you are the father" moments, criminal enterprises, odd couplings and drunken confessions, but this one is just so...blatant. And since the parties came across as the kind of people who just didn't do this type of thing...you know.

Anyway...Paper looks on schedule, homework done for Wed. class A, working Wed. class B tonight, done my reading, started on my outlines...starting to get in the groove of this. Maybe.

Barkeep...a tequlia shooter with a dash of St. John's Wort.

Then karma hits me square in the mouth

Sometimes, the hints you get in life are subtle, and we miss them in the hustle and bustle only realize later that this was a clue that maybe, just maybe you'd missed an opportunity or let something get past you. You realize later that if you had done X or said Y the whole outcome would have shifted.

And then there are moments like this.

When the clue is obvious, so blatant, it's like God grabbed to top of your head, twisted it around to where he wants you look and says "here stupid", like you're Curley in a Three Stooges movie or trying to shove the dog's nose in it's mess to show it's mistake.

Short version - Sporty and I were still doing whatever it is we do. She texted that she misses me, and she'll be in town on x-day, etc. So we're now dancing around a new concept, trading I miss you's and I love you's when her "man" proposes to her...on my birthday.

Well.

There are 364 other days in a year and he picked this one?

Thinking maybe I missed something? Think God is saying for wasting all this time...take that? I'm getting that feeling.

Her message says "I was presented with an engagement ring". It ends with "luv u."

I've always been a little slow. But damn. Shit. Why can't she just say it? I'm gonna get up and do something, been in bed since I got home. Lifequakes and aftershocks.