Showing posts with label Idiots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Idiots. Show all posts

Thursday, March 28, 2019

The Mueller Report -- or -- How to Look Shady as Hell Without Trying

This is a political post. 

After two long years of waiting, the weekend that March Madness started and Duke nearly got knocked out before the sweet sixteen, the investigation into if the sitting President of the United States colluded with foreign agents was completed. The conclusion? We don't know yet. We don't know because the Justice Department won't release the completed document. The newly appointed Attorney General has produced a four page summary of the three hundred page report suspiciously fast, and said report in his opinion indicates there was no collusion. Honestly, 99.9% of us still don't know what the report actually says.

Now, a number of indignant conservative pundits and legislators want to believe we do, although at this point we have what at best might be considered the Cliffs Notes version, more likely a Wikipedia stub entry or at worst a confederate version of the history of the war between the states. That the Attorney General then indicated that the person who was the object of the investigation will get to see it - and edit it - before any of the rest of us just keeps making the whole thing look less and less legitimate.

And the powers that be, those powers that we are investigating, just don't care what we think. 

The law, for those who don't know, is a funny thing. Open to vast interpretation. You know what I mean. Think about how you can watch on video an officer clearly be seen doing X or Y action that obviously shows that they broke the law, but that same video when viewed by a friendly prosecutor the action somehow fails to rise to the level of prosecutable offense. This is one of those moments, only on a national scale. We have all sat here, listened and learned of meetings with foreign agents not reported and then lied about, clear and convincing conflicts of interest, and of business dealings with foreign agents not disclosed. Yet we're supposed to believe the report yields nothing even of intrinsic value? The police have investigated themselves and found they did nothing wrong, and no you can't see the evidence. Here we just substitute the word 'government' for 'police.'

Barr's interpretation of the evidence and if it rises to the level of collusion is plainly suspect. And now that we know the summary he produced now looks more like a 30 second synopsis of a 26 hour Ken Burns documentary only raises more questions. And if the pool of people who can see the raw evidence is limited to those who feel that the investigation was a waste of time, this begins to look like even more collusion. That Cheeto was okay with releasing it, but his hand picked people want it edited first gives rise to the idea that the truth only those pages may get more than a few more folks locked up. And the inane assertion that Congress can't see the raw evidence when there are sitting members of Congress with top secret clearance is pure 'shuck and jive.' A government of checks and balances under this administration is no more.

We need to do better. The treatment of this investigation is part of, and maybe the culmination of a continuing degradation of the truth via the assertion that opinion outweighs facts, a theme that began day one when Cheeto swore his inaugural audience was the largest ever and has gone on to become this administration's stock and trade. That they expect half the country to believe whatever they say despite their long track record of half truths, deception, deflection and out right falsehoods is laughable. That the other half this country is happy to go along with this farce as long as that they get to impose their beliefs on the first half is just frightening. 

This is why voting is important, and why everyday the Democratic establishment appears to pin it's hopes on reason and common sense winning out seems more and more like a pipe dream.

We live interesting times. I really wish we did not.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

This week on "President..."

This is a political post. 


I haven't been watching this season. What happened?

Is Congress out of the coma yet? Did the VP admit he thought about another woman? Did President reveal he's really the evil twin? What dangerous game are Jared and Ivanka playing? Will Melina's terrible secret finally be revealed?

Wait, what really happened? At the summit in Helsinki when asked about foreign meddling in the 2016 elections, President took the word of what is essentially our enemy over his own intelligence groups on the grounds that those intelligence groups don't like him. No seriously, that's the basis. This is a character who thinks the press is lying, Obama is lying, Mueller is lying, Hillary is lyaing, all the intelligence agencies are lying, all his accusers are lying, but good ole boy Putin speaks the truth? Really? Is he the evil twin?  No, wait after the break he's saying he misspoke although the words he said that he misspoke repeatedly aren't really the kind you mess up. Damn writers. 

Wow.

One of the funniest parts of watching a trashy TV show like "President" isn't actually the show itself. The show itself is kinda cringy, with weak half-written characters, unfinished story arcs, and a meandering theme that seems like it's half improv. No, like a any other great series that's half off it's rocker and reached the point where it's just fucking with the audience, it's built up a terribly rabid fan base that practically drools whenever it comes on. And like devotees of Real Housewives, Cop Rock and Heil honey, I'm home before it, they practically turn themselves inside out, throwing facts to the wind, contradicting themselves and telling you green is purple trying to make sense of it all. They're ready to  cut a deal with the devil (or Jeff Bezos, or whatever he's calling himself these days) to get you to believe this show is fantastic. No, the fun of watching a show like this is those fans try to explain why each loopy turn is somehow sheer genius.

One of President's ardent fans said he was strong, and another quipped that obviously Mexico had meddled more in our election than the Russians. Meanwhile the Soviet version voice over of President has a laugh track. I was really waiting for one of them to say that "we dont' get the nuances of Cheeto's performance, because what he's doing is subverting your expectations and deconstructing the presidency." People say things like that when they want to sound smarter than you and don't want you to understand they said that. But then we're talking about President's fans, not exactly a crowd given to nuance.

I keep hoping it's all the work of some shameless writer locked in a hotel room somewhere, drunk on Glenfiddich, Adderall and heart worm medicine. I really do. How does this keep getting renewed?   

I'd like to remind "the network" that sometimes there is value in slow, well directed, subtle drama. If I wanted this kind of foolishness we could have just let Cookie and Lucious be Co-Presidents. I least we'd have gotten a few songs out of it.

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

So, We're doing this AGAIN? AGAIN! Ugh, whatever...

Ramblings Post #349
I don't follow the NBA like I used to. I used to know squads, coaches, and who could beat who based on which player had the advantage or whatever. Now I'm just like ugh, this again. I can watch a game or five, I know who the players are but I don't follow it follow it. And the Finals used to mean something. Before it got into reruns. 

First, let me say that the entire NBA Eastern conference should be ashamed that the Cavs are back in the Finals. It basically says that you can put together a team in mid-season, add in one or two top tier players and beat that whole half of the league. A half with theoretically at this point, good teams. A few assembled teams of potential hall of famers. Seriously. I mean, damn...the Celtics were so close. But the NBA Eastern conference needs wake-up call.

Don't be mad at me, it ain't like I made this.
And on the other side, the Rockets damn sure didn't make it easy. I kind of figured they might have catch the Warriors a bit overconfident or on a down night, and as such they came with it. That was good basketball. Right this moment however, there is just too much horsepower in that Golden State line-up that if there is the slightest misstep, that's all she wrote. Hey Rockets! Almost, but you gotta be quicker than that.

Which leaves us with this. Again. Warriors vs. Cavs. Like damn. I mean the sports journalists have to be pissed about this shit. Content-wise you know that they're scraping the bottom of the barrel here looking for those fresh puff pieces to pad out the series hype. They're about to start talking about second cousins and high school friends. I at one point hoped for a completely fresh Rockets-Celtics match-up, just to keep things interesting, but would have settled for a Warriors-Celtics battle. Anybody but the Cavs.

No, I'm not a fan of LeBron now that you mention it. But if you've been here before I think you know that. 

Now to be clear, off the court I understand he's an exemplary individual. Charitable, happily married, good to his kids, invests wisely, not a gambler, doesn't eat pizza with a fork, not a horrible actor, all those things that might make one remark that hey, he's okay fella if asked to comment. Let me not impugn the man's character or savvy. On the court however, if you took a drink every-time he looked at the ref for a call you'd be blitzed midway through the second quarter. It's that he's one of the best, if not the best, on the court right now but he still needs even more an advantage outlook that just irks me. I don't think any ref in the game who values his ability to blow a whistle would let anything bad happen to Bron-bron. He is entirely too valuable to the league as a whole. So knowing this, and you know he knows it, why ask for even more?  

I guess the big question is if this particular cast of background players can support the King while he tries for glory against the NBA's best current super-team? I guess it could be a question. I mean TV is going to need an angle. Not to disparage the abilities of people who get paid huge sums of money to play basketball (Yes, that is a touch of jealousy in my voice.) And while Finals parties are a thing of yesteryear at least for my age bracket, something new would have been interesting.

Hey, at least the undercards all got to seven games.

Yes, Bartender, I am grasping at straws here, work with me. Beer. What kind? Um, cold. 

Friday, March 31, 2017

Hey Atlanta, how about mass transit now, eh?

Ramblings Post #332
Atlanta is a car city. We have a mass transit system that people have fought tooth and nail against since its inception and now, well, here we are. It's gonna be a long hot summer. And the city is for the most part gonna be divided in half. The days of the floating party, the caravan of fun and the city wide club hopping might just be on hold for a minute. I'm not even going to talk about how the Metro Area Rail and Transportation Authority is going to have to bring it, and bring it hard. Since after all, ....nobody saw this coming.  *snicker*

Thursday evening, a bridge section of I-85, a major artery for the city of Atlanta, collapsed after the structure gave way during what could only be properly described as a conflagration. A big, roaring flame. Apparently just plain old fire can melt steel beams, who knew? Even worse it feel over a section right by another major artery, Piedmont Road. This will only compound the problem, as I'll explain later. This whole process will take months, at minimum four or five, to repair and should shut down not one but two major thoroughfares that connect the Northern suburbs and the rest of Atlanta. We might not be a car city much longer. 

This is the year Marta finally gets properly funded folks! Marta card sales are already up 80% and it's only the first day! Mark your calendar because if a catastrophe that will split the metro region in half won't do it, nothing will. Nothing.

The city of Atlanta is funny. On a map it looks roughly like the Vitruvian Man, with two major highways meeting, running together through the bulk of the city and then splitting again just above the airport. But in reality, only the northern part of the city (above I-20) means anything, as it is the focus of pretty much all development. Coincidentally, most of the black people live below I-20. Not that the two are connected, I'm just saying. A close look at the map however reveals that the city is not exactly a grid, but more a collection of paved cattle trails and footpaths that seemed like a good idea in 1820. As such, the metro area is really more a collection of roads that only incidentally connect to one another in some places, and not at all in others. This quirk of design is why the single collapsing highway section is such a problem.

Photo by Redditor - nico6426
I-85 where it runs through Atlanta is regularly used by roughly...um, EVERYBODY IN THE METRO AREA. It connects Midtown (with over 35 construction projects underway or announced) with Buckhead - the center of all things trendy in the New South. When it gets the middle of the city and meets 75 we call it the Downtown Connector.  So, kinda important. The other two main roads in the city are Peachtree Road...no, not that Peachtree, the other one, no the other other one, the one in the middle, sheesh, and Piedmont Road on the East side of town. Strangely, all three of these intersect in Buckhead. There is no counterpart on the west side of Atlanta, because there really isn't. Because that's why. And now that I-85 has fallen onto Piedmont, there is only Peachtree Road a four lane red-light riddled strip that remains.

Although some will claim it will not be that bad, because although the section of I-85 that fell is actually just north of Piedmont Road, the truth is the fire damage is extensive. Although only the one section fell, the flames touched everything around it, and even money says several other sections of the road surface above and below the area will have to be collapsed and rebuilt just to be on the safe side. More than likely one of the sections directly over Piedmont Road. And even if they don't have to bring that section down on purpose as a safety concern, the fastest way rebuild the section that did fall would involve...blocking Piedmont Road. 


Where I work, going forward referred to as the Ranch, the parking deck was half empty the day after and I had my pick of just off prime spots. The spot where I grab lunch was sparse as well. Because we had no off highway traffic a whole section of my home commute normally a pain was light and easy. But, I live INTOWN, and the highway that goes all the way around the perimeter of the city was bumper to bumper for nearly half its circumference, backing up the designated alternate routes for hours. And that's with the county in a State of Emergency and half the city told to work from home or just take the day off. I shudder to think of what's going to happen on Monday when the flood gates open. I may go to work way early. Or I mean, leave for work. When I make it is anyone's guess. 

It's gonna be a strange summer in Atlanta.

Barkeep, let me get a cold beer, some of that hot fish and some white bread.

What? You thought I was gonna make a bar-b-que joke? For shame....

Saturday, April 18, 2015

About this Superhero thing...

Ramblings Post #289
Peter Parker is Spiderman. Period. I know the kids really like Miles Morales, but let’s just keep our heads here people. For a less iconic superhero I might be okay with a change – see all them damn Green Lanterns – but Spiderman is more than a suit and powers. He’s the original hard luck hero.  The hero with bills. With great power comes great responsibility. And there are just some stories that should not change. Omigod, I cannot believe I just wrote that.


I love comic books.

I started reading comic books back when they cost fifty cents and every plot didn’t involve tearing the universe asunder or a galaxy spanning conspiracy. Back when Spiderman was referred to as “your friendly neighborhood Spiderman” and good and evil were a bit more cut and dried. And I was more of a Marvel guy than a DC guy as well, as I thought them more grounded. Even so, I moved on from the big titles to smaller ones as I grew older, the smaller titles usually less grandiose in their ideas of what villainy might be, where every scheme didn’t involve global domination. I’d still pick the stalwarts though from time to time to stay current – Spiderman, Batman, Wolverine, the occasional mini-series or trade paperback. I dabbled more than anything.
But as of today I think a little movie success has caused them folks at Marvel to lose their minds.

In setting up their new Once a year super crossover “hey, let’s get you interested in a another character so you’ll buy that book too!” you got to be kidding me jeez not again with this crap again Spectacular, they’re going to so far as to stop printing thirty three regular titles. Sigh. I’ve never really been one for the retcon – the comic book writer habit of rewriting years of established history to fit the story they came up with last week – but this is one for the books. (that pun was not on purpose.) Reading through the promo I’m not even sure how it all fits together, and I'm not even sure I want to find out.

I bought the first Secret Wars series, which made sense to some degree, taking all the top end superheroes and facing them off against the high end super villains away from the billions in destruction they would have surely cause on Earth. Okay, it made comic book sense. It gave us Venom and Carnage and new character arcs. The second Secret Wars kinda made sense as well, the impetus behind the first Secret Wars coming to Earth, although it might be better executed with the broader scope writers of today are afforded. But this monstrosity of crossover, I'm like really? This is a complete and total exodus of the idea of subtle and nuanced for the grandiose demonstration... which if you're paying attention will be undone three years from now in another grandiose demonstration. I understand crossover pollination, but damn. I'm scared to go the Comic Book store and get caught up in this mess.

It's like the Hollywood mentality is taking over comic books and not the other way around. Comics are a hard medium to write for, as the characters are so firmly established. And the nature of the medium means the world can't be at stake every month, you have to build up to things. Film by comparison is short, picks and chooses from the canon what it wants to use and seemingly necessitates the spectacular with every outing. This is both tiring and messy for the fan to watch even as we're excited to see our favorites come to life. And now it seems like those film directors who didn't understand the characters they've been handed are infecting the writers and editors who were passed down the characters they were supposed to care for that we've come to love.

I want comics to get back to stories that developed character and involved small things, or at least didn't involve extra dimensions and six different clones every issue. A little skirmish. Every battle need not be World War Three in fifteen pages to be interesting. Maybe I got spoiled. Or maybe I just need to stick with the independents and the small stories.

Just one more Spidey though. I can quit anytime.

Barkeep. A mixing bowl, a spoon, a big box of Rice Krispies, some sugar and milk. Seriously.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Let Me Catch Up Right Quick...

Ramblings Post #252
I been busy, trying to get done what I shoulda had oughta been finished. But that's not important right now. Or rather it is MOST important, because it has pretty much consumed me for the past few days. But I'm not made of stone, so let's do a quick update...

BBB

I'm getting a little long in the tooth to be going out. I know this because I went to a friend's birthday party on Friday night at this little spot in Buckhead and got the odd looks from the doorman. Maybe it's the grey hair. For some reason our party sat under the speaker, so conversation was dicey. And the service was less than stellar, as at one point I opined that the waitress must have had to go to Lenox Mall to get our drinks. And although attractive, at times, the crowd was a little 'young.' And once the bottle hit our table people just started showing up...but since I didn't buy the bottle I was just curious as to random folks dropping by and helping themselves. And the spot didn't start jumping until around 12:30pm...half an hour before I left.

Superbowl...

Although at the house party I had the pleasure to attend my icebreaker was "Have you accepted Peyton Manning as your football savior?", I happen to actually own a very old Seattle Seahawks T-shirt, so I guess that was my team. That and the very vocal Seahawks fan I was sitting next to kept breaking down every play for me, so I was kinda sucked in. Although I didn't see most of the second half because after the kickoff return I decided it was time to just socialize. It was nice little outing if I must say so. And since it will be my last one until the end of the month I need to savor it.

PS3

No, I haven't got the PS4 yet, and wouldn't matter because I don't have the time to play. Okay, I don't have the money right now either, but that's not the point. I turned the PS3 off the other day because I just realized it's been on for almost a month now and I haven't used it. I did check to see what the PS+ crew had up for grabs this month and got a game before they started charging for it again. As far as it bang for your buck you can't beat that PlayStation Plus. But it really doesn't help me now because I already have three games from before I had only barely started before my "project" took over, and we're not starting anything new until this is ova. So, maybe next month little PS. Next month I swear.

My Eating...

Once I was a dedicated follower, indulging sparingly in the sweets. An age passed, and I veered back and forth between what I knew as good and the fried tasty. Then I became a homebody and so eating out became my reason to leave the house...which leads us to today and that sweater that was way too tight. I baked the chicken, cut back the red meat and caught the shrimp on sale. Wheat bread, skim milk.  I have grapes, oranges and watermelon, and just two snacks in the house. And them frozen pizzas. And the bacon in the freezer. I want some ice cream, is that wrong?

TV

My shows are back! House of Lies, Episodes, and Shameless. And Archer has moved to Mondays so I don't forget it. And I just realized I don't watch a whole lot of television after that. Wow.  

And now, back to the salt mines. And just you know, If it don't stop messing with me, I'm gonna take this reality by the reins and impose my order it. So if everything suddenly starts coming with a side of bacon, you'll know why.

Barkeep. A tall coffee. Extra black. I'm not supposed to enjoy it.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Seriously? I mean Dallas, Seriously?

Ramblings Post #246
This year the NFL is running a "Why I love Football" campaign. Sometimes though, its hard to quantify the feelings I have for my team. Who are they really? Is it the name? The collection of players? The history? Well, if you're a Cowboy fan its all about the history, because they're not doing anything in Texas to build a future.

With less than five minutes to play, leading by five, with a running back averaging over SEVEN YARDS PER CARRY....and you throw the ball? Dallas, Seriously? This is basic coaching at the Pee Wee league level. I realize you have great faith in your quarterback, but the weakest defense in the league hadn't been able to even slow down the Packers offense in the whole second half. There was a long period where the clock was your friend, and running would have disrupted the other teams rhythm. But your play caller chose not to do that. What were you counting on?  A miraculous turn of events where the third string linebackers you're having to play would suddenly assert themselves? The secondary to suddenly turn into ball hawks?

When the game announcers start talking about running, think of it as a sign. 

The tactical error....no, I mis-speak. This isn't an error as that word implies a mistake that was unintentional. This was a conscious decision by the person who was supposed to be replacing last year's throw the ball every down thinking that didn't quite get them to the playoffs. This disdain for the run was deliberate. After an incredible first half, it's like the coaching staff went down to the bar to celebrate and left the game to English soccer players, I'm sorry, Futbol players. Is the Cowboys coaching philosophy that opposed to running? Is there a contract clause that requires that Romo be the hero? What gives?

It's not the players. Andy Reid took over a dismal and weak Kansas City team and with no major personnel changes have made them monsters. Dallas has arguably more talent, so what's going on here? Poor coaching. Bad game management. Misdirected team focus. All the things that start in the front office and not on the field.  

Where is that petition to have the government remove Jerry Jones as the team owner?  Because change starts at the top. And Garrett needs to be gone.

Barkeep, I'm not drinking, but leave the bottle. I just want to look at it for a while.

Friday, September 27, 2013

The Chair Recognizes....(sigh)

This is a political post.

The other day, Presidential hopeful and Barack Obama Legitimatizer, one Ted Cruz stood up in front of the Senate of these here United States and decided to make a stand. Not against the congresses entrenched partisanship, our lack of commitment to government and instead gamesmanship. Or even that they'd raised the price of the brownies in the Senate cafeteria.

He stood up for 21 hours and talked about everything under the sun to ....er, well, it wasn't to stop a vote. Not like in the movies or nothing. Principles! Yes, principles that it. He stood up to argue on principle that the government should defund Obamacare, because it's hurting the country (although it hasn't actually started yet). Just like the Sequester that is hurting the country. That he did vote for. 

And he did this,  theoretically, to the person the program is named after. The man's signature piece of legislation. The one he will be known for. We've accomplished so little in the past six years, and now we want to take back one of the few things we actually did get done. Because....AMERICA!

If I was Obama, well I probably wouldn't have made a it to a second term, but anyway...if I had been the position the President was in I would have gotten together a motorcade, stopped by the local Five Guys and gotten the two patties and the large fries, dropped by the Senate,  got a front row seat and watched for a while. With a little easel behind me with cue cards, just to see if I could get him say something stupid. Well, stupider.

I am belittling the man's accomplishment. Because this was no 300-style epic stand against the invading horde. Not the Tank Man in Tienanmen Square or the stand at the Alamo. This wasn't even Custer at Little Big Horn. This long rambling "green eggs and ham and another thing speechifying" didn't delay a crucial vote, nor did it break new ground, it wasn't sweeping, informative, inspiring or  moving, most of it wasn't even on the topic, no, it was...

...grandstanding. This was his I would like to be President next time around and now I have a glorious moment to point to where "I stood alone" against the Marxist Socialist Fascist Time Traveling Kenyan and his liberal hordes! This was his chance for unfettered camera time. I know, because when I clicked that link to the CNN live feed at 3:35am he was still talking...telling me it was 3:35am. This is cold calculated political maneuvering. When his campaign starts he will pluck from it choice sound bites and piece and parcel of heroics to display. And if he opponents are smart, they auto tune him rambling on and on about nothing when he had the chance to make real arguments. 

Is this what government has become? An extra long episode of American Idol sans judges? A reality show we're ashamed to say comes on The Learning Channel? 

(sigh) This is why I try to watch as much Cartoon Network as I can.

Friday, September 20, 2013

A candle in DC, another in Chicago.

This is a political post. 

First, I hope those in pain at the loss of a family member or friend find solace in the arms of other family and friends, and come to cherish those relationships for we know not when they will end.  May they grieve as it needs be, and carry on as they should, and find happiness with life once more.

Now, there was a time, just last year as a matter fact, where a bunch of people getting killed at one time was a cause for alarm. Aurora, Colorado. Newtown. Boston. Now it barely registers. Actually, I'm almost certain the death of the black people in Chicago will be, by comparison, relatively ignored.  In the past, and by past I again mean just last year, the press would swarm for days on end to get us A story, any story. Now it seems that one tragedy rolls into the next, and trying to find a reason for these things happening we re-hash the same excuses, start the same discussions that get us to nowhere closer to addressing what has become a problem with mass killings. 

Fox news immediately trotted out the violent video game rationale I thought had retired five years ago to become a gentleman farmer. My conservative FB friend immediately brought up the "my gun sat on the porch all day and didn't kill anyone" story. Neither of these seems to be able to connect the idea of violence with the tools that enhance it, quickly defending the right to bear arms, possibly while the alleged assailant was still reloading. And this was merely on the suggestion that the incident at the Naval Yard might reopen the debate about gun control.

We as a society have become are so polarized by our circumstances that honest discussion may no longer be possible. Who knows what such a talk might reveal? Perhaps after a complete and honest look at the whole situation, the conservative viewpoint might prove to be the correct one. Logical arguments could be made, heretofore unrealized rational arguments might be conceived. But, we'll never know that because we can't even have the conversation! And that's the worst outcome of all.

And when people stop talking, how soon will the divorce follow? Um, not divorce, sorry, got the wrong term there. Well, maybe not quite the wrong term.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Why We're Really Mad about SimCity (2013)

Ramblings Post #219
Currently I am in the midst of a 14-game win streak in my fourth NBA season, managing an Argentinian Soccer Team and just realized I'm going to have gut my Transfer budget to resign my key players, two tourneys away from the Masters, picking out which faction I want to be in control of in feudal Japan, slowly taking control of Stillwater, trying to run a train based empire in central Africa, and hoping that the Baron of Black Gorge ends his mandate soon so that my dwarves don't starve. Those are the games I can remember that I'm playing. I think I might be a gamer.

The nostalgia aside for a building cities on islands linked by a symphony of bridges in the shape of my initals or that resembles what you imagine Gotham City must look like, we're really mad at EA for SimCity for actual reasons. Let me be clear: I and most other detractors of this incarnation realize that since the company owns the property that they can do what they want with it, and are not obligated to meet our demands in anyway that do no serve their own ends. That said, making your customers mad usually isn't the best business model. I think a number of software companies, if not the whole entertainment community,  have looked at the Apple model, which is more akin to a cult, and are trying to trap it's customers into arrangements that keep them tied up forever.

Note, unless you're Apple, or other cultists, this is not a good business model.

First, had they just named the thing SimCity Online it would have cut out a bunch of confusion. That little phrasing changes the whole connotation and expectations of potential purchasers. The problem is you can't really sell a strategy game for online play, especially since the heart of the game is solo city building. What happens if you cut a deal with five cities...and four of them quit playing? In a questing game, you find new people. In a strategy game with locked regions...then what?

Was that so hard?
Via Reddit. I forget the redditors name.
Plus, having a game that is locked into a server and players need to communicate with other players in the game indicates that this game is a "temporary" situation. By that I am pointing out that as there are currently no monthly fees - ala World of Warcraft or EVE - which would be the incentive to keep the servers humming five years from now for a game whose sales will peak this year. It doesn't matter how much DLC they try to append, it's a downward curve. And each quarter as that profit margin drops, it becomes more and more likely a cost cutting executive will suddenly decide to pull the plug. Meaning you didn't "buy" the game so much as lease it....which is not how this type of game genre works. Simulation games are for strategy players, people who aren't really interested in swinging the sword a thousand times but instead tend to play games over and over, for years, inventing new things with the tools given.

Then there are the lies. When asked, EA stipulated that computations are run server side, so a single player game is supposed to be impossible. But some of the game developers are quietly confessing the cloud connection isn't strictly necessary. And then someone modified (modded) the game so that it can be played without a connection, less than 30 days after release.  It's like a restaurant saying there hamburger is 100% American beef, then finding out its 50% Mexican horse and 20% unclassified filler. In some areas, abusive treatment of customers works, they even enjoy it. This is not one of those places. 

Forget that people have already figured out how "to game" the mechanics, creating cities with practically no industry or commercial sections, with sims getting "rich" going to the park. Making the game pretty to look at, but essentially broken. The mod might have to fix that too.

We all know the real reason for the always on internet connection was an ill-conceived attempt to prevent piracy, so why lie? And now because of this all out effort to combat thieves and make the game all pretty, it seems that a pirated version, which is coming as sure as the sun will rise, will give players what they actually want - an off-line version that actually works correctly. And this isn't an industry where you want a third party producing what is technically is a better product than the original.

The video game industry isn't quite like other industries, in that you're going to buy toothpaste (I hope) and toilet paper (I pray), so particular consumer demands only weigh in so heavily. The industry is a luxury item, and even the production of good, popular games isn't a guarantee of success - ala THQ. When a staple veers too far off course, the fans, the very vocal fans...speak up. And in this day and age there are two many avenues to do that. And in a market already crowded, the cumulative effect might amount to little more than commercial suicide for a major game industry franchise.

Barkeep, I'm firing up the wayback machine. I think I have SimCity 2000 around her somewhere.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The Football Wrap-up

Ramblings Post #212
This does not concern college football, something I usually only watch because it's the hosts alma mater (or favorite team) and the drinks are free. And just so you know, for the next two weeks "Alabama jokes" are on a moratorium. Now, my team did not make the playoffs. So for me, the NFL season is on hiatus. Combined with the fact that the proximity of the Superbowl to the Georgia Bar Exam means I might not watch it all and that any excitement the event might generate will have to boxed up for St. Paddy's Day. Priorities mate, priorities.

I'm going to comment on teams that are NOT the Cowboys first. Do not be alarmed.

Arr - Gee - Three

I don't even like the Redskins, me being a Cowboy fan and all, but what the hell was Shanahan doing? RG3 thought he could play? The player always thinks they can play! Who in the hell cares! I was worried about a few of my friends who are Redskin fans who I think saw the future of the franchise limp off the field in the fourth quarter, but I think I'm more worried about a promising young player ...he's playing for the wrong team, but still... whose career may have been cut short for no good reason at all.

It's not like the Redskins are bereft a backup of some quality, I think Cousins could actually start for a team or two. Now I understand Griffin has torn ligaments, for the second time. I know he's young and invincible, we all were once, but he's about to find out that odds are he's more like Bo Jackson (hip) than Adrian Peterson (knee). They won the division his first season, brought excitement back to DC football, secured Shanahan at least another year, wasn't that enough?

Post his surgery, they're optimistic that he can rehab in six to eight months. Optimistic. For a repair of a repair. Walking is more important than football. And even repaired, they're going to have "adjust" the offense to take this into account. Which makes the novelty of what Griffin can do less effective. Which makes what makes him good...less. That said, here's to hoping to RG3 has a long career. And here's to hoping the 'skin's trade him....Hey, man can dream!

The ground now counts as a player.

And what is this new follow through to the ground rule? If the player has the ball in hand, two feet on the ground, how is that not a catch? I can understand the control issue, but now it seems like one of the basic rules of football since  the push-around matches of Pop-Warner that "the ground can't cause a fumble" has been changed. Which is a fundamental change in football. 

More Games

The NFL, which already has a sixteen game schedule, is considering adding even more games, pushing the total to eighteen. I'm not sure if they intend to eliminate a couple of pre-season games or slide a few more in in the middle, but I'm fairly certain they can't push the Superbowl back any further. Or shouldn't anyway.

And I realize it's all part of the push to give the client "more product" but have they looked at the game? Players get injured, and adding more games means the players are more likely to get injured. Which dilutes the product they're trying to sell. Maybe the coaches will have to strategize like baseball and keep key players on the bench (or not even suit up) for some games...but wait that will only water down the product. No, wait, maybe they could make it illegal to tackle? Think about it... high scoring and no injuries! No, wait, that too would water down the product.

But then, are the owners really worried about watering down the product?

Now onto the Cowboys.

The Cowboys need to address primarily the offensive line and shore up the corners a little bit more. They've got two decent receivers, a good set of defenders if they can all stay healthy, and a quarterback that actually isn't half bad...despite the detractors who swear he's the worse thing throwing since JaMarcus Russell. My brother thinks I am being a little too much of a fanboy...but the only reason they even got to where they were is Romo. On his good days.

Then they fired Rex. Why? He only had middle linebackers and defensive tackles disappear from the roster like the team played in the Bermuda Triangle which is not his fault. Considering what he had to work with injury-wise, the man did a fairly decent job. I liked that he didn't dial up a blitz option every other snap, which must have confounded a play caller or three. Rex just ran out of healthy players. Let's be honest, the only reason Jason Garrett still has a job after a season of single minded play calling is that's he's Jerry Jones handpicked guy. And Jerry's been stewing about making it work HIS way since everyone watching believed reality and gave the credit to Jimmy Johnson instead of the boss. Which would have been how it worked in corporate America, but not in football.

The 'Boys for the past few seasons have a made it a business to make the simple look difficult, and the difficult to look easy. And a large part of it is the coaching. And maybe if they hired an actual general manager, although Jerry has been playing at one so long he may now actually considered to be experienced at the task. Terrible, but experienced. Whatever happened to that petition to the White House to get Jerry separated from the team?

Sigh.

Go Cowboys. It's not like I'm gonna stop being a fan. Through thick and thin.

Barkeep. Ice Tea. I'm studying for the bar....and sitting at it. Oh, I made a pun.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

So they're making Big Explosions in Space...er, Star Trek 2

Ramblings Post #209
There is an idea, a notion if you will, that Hollywood is out of ideas. It's why you see more and more other media being transformed for the big screen. It becomes maddening, seeing perfectly good characters mangled by Hollywood screenwriters trying to stuff a story into two hours, and make them match the demographic specs. And apparently it's even worse if the owner (not author) scraps the entire original concept, counting on the impetus of goodwill for the old version to help sell the new shiny version.


This is the official synopsis of the upcoming Star Trek movie for next year....

In Summer 2013, pioneering director J.J. Abrams will deliver an explosive action thriller that takes "Star Trek Into Darkness."

When the crew of the Enterprise is called back home, they find an unstoppable force of terror from within their own organization has detonated the fleet and everything it stands for, leaving our world in a state of crisis.

With a personal score to settle, Captain Kirk leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture a one man weapon of mass destruction.

As our heroes are propelled into an epic chess game of life and death, love will be challenged, friendships will be torn apart, and sacrifices must be made for the only family Kirk has left: his crew.


Three things.

First, why is the term "explosive action thriller" being used to describe a Star Trek film? The underlying theme of Star Trek, what made it great, was that it was actually about something. Sure there was some action, but the vast majority of the stories were about larger themes like man's place in the universe, sacrifice, honor, etc. Reducing it to a series of big budget explosions makes me wonder if Abrams even understands what he's been handed. Jean Luc Picard ring a bell? Data's question of humanity? The ecology questions, relationships, the prime directive? Where are the wonderful stories? This reboot of Star Trek has the Federation looking more and more like a failure than the triumphant advancement of society Rodenberry originally came up with. I realize you can't stuff all the nuances of the various series into a two hour film, but at some point this stops being Star Trek and becomes The Expendables in Space.


Second there's the "detonated the fleet" line. What does that even mean? Didn't you just blow up the damn fleet last time Mr. Abrams? I realize this is the future, and Starfleet officers have never really seemed to worry about money, but still methinks them puppies ain't cheap. How much gold pressed latitinum does Starfleet have budgeted for ship construction? Because somewhere in that chain, somebody is going to need to get paid. How about we shrink the story and instead of threatening all of existence everytime some one charges up a warp coil, you bring it down to a micro level. Oh, wait, that might require storytelling skills. My bad. 

Third...and probably the worst...this line right here "from within their own organization." Really? I mean really? You have got be kidding. Wasn't this the premise behind the first three Mission Impossible movies? Or all three Jason Bourne movies? Or really every spy or espionage movie made in the past two decades? Even the James Bond films have fallen into this trap. I going to go ahead and suggest that the rogue agent trope be tossed on the scrap heap of screenwriting until 2025. Maybe Abrams thinks it will all be fresh and new if you do it in space this time. Wait, wasn't this the plot of Star Trek: the Undiscovered Country? This isn't even new in space! But you know what they could try? How about a having an enemy who doesn't know who the hero is, and doesn't have a personal vendetta, or isn't a rogue agent who knows all the tricks of the trade. Sounds crazy right? Seriously, this whole thing sounds like a mess. The synopsis reads like a bad 80's action b-movie starring (fill in sweaty action star here). Maybe I'm wrong..., no, I saw the first one.

I bet the lens flare budget is the biggest expense on the books.


Even the heroic sacrifice alluded to in this still from the Japanese trailer loses weight at this point, as the we'd be mourning the old characters, from the old series, not these slick new versions. We don't know them yet. There is so little here that is still Star Trek.

Barkeep, I thought Abrams was supposed to be good or something. Something light, I need my wits about me. No Romulan Ale. 

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Dallas, we have a problem...

This is a sports post.

Ramblings Post #207
I think if we start now, maybe use kickstarter and give it year, I think we can raise enough money to buy the team. If all the fans kicked in say a five bucks a week, then we could do it like Green Bay, have like a community owned team, and by community I mean the fan community. Because we need to do something. Can you start a kickstarter to buy a pro football team? Football is a kind of being creative. 


How do I know that my team, yes, MY TEAM... and I'm saying it like I own a piece of the team and have keys to the bathroom in the owners suite... how do I know that my team has a problem?  Because DeMarco Murray is has only just been eclipsed as the rushing leader for the team...and he hasn't carried the ball during a game in SIX WEEKS! Which means that for all intents and purposes the Dallas Cowboys don't have the running game of a team in the Lingerie Football League.

People like to pick on my boys, the terms and words I've heard used to describe them make think of English hooligans at times, as well as shout from the roof tops how bad a QB Tony Romo is. But the reality is that most QBs would be hard pressed to play at the same level. The defenses the Cowboys face almost treat the idea of having to stop the run as an afterthought. Romo drops back almost an average of 42 times a game, with the last few games pass attempts going as high as 62. Which in that game was over 80% of the plays. This means the opposing linebackers can drop back into coverage automatically, defensive backs never have to peer into the backfield and the defensive line can steady pass rush with little worry. This kind of play calling only creates problems for yourself. Oh wither mine Cowboys.

Oddly it's as if the Cowboys don't trust the running game.  And I say oddly because the team has only THREE rushing fumbles all season versus Romo's FIFTEEN interceptions. And two of those fumbles from rushing are by Romo during scrambles. So one rushing fumble all year. Is the salary cap so tight that they can't cut the running backs they do have, but apparently don't trust, and get some people in who they feel comfortable carrying the ball? And how much more comfortable do they have to feel? Negative fumbles?

I swear I thought the Jones boys were supposed to be businessmen. Jerry is treating the whole thing like a hobby, still playing at General Manager after all these years because he wants to be able to say "he did it" if they win another Superbowl. How many real football management teams has he run off? It's said that everything is big in Texas, but I don't think Jerry Jones ego would even fit in that cathedral to football he's built. Or maybe, because of the contract structure of the league he's still making money...so he just doesn't really give a [censored].

Barkeep, a glass of old Kentucky rye, I'm going to start looking into a restraining order to see if I can keep Jerry away from my team.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

"You cheated by winning!" screamed the loser...

This is a political post.

In the aftermath of what was the most contentious presidential election in modern history - with
attack ads, voter suppression efforts, bold faced lies and willful deceit, we have apparently learned one thing : Absolutely nothing. We are right back where we were some two years ago, only now a bit less polite about it.
GOP accuses Obama of fruit theft from Job Creator
The entire affair reminds me of a high school fight, where one combatant has "talked up his game" only to get knocked around and finally suplexed in the hallway by the cafeteria. Right in front of the cheerleaders. And then, instead of lying their quietly and feigning injury or perhaps re-evaluating their life choices, they stagger to their feet and still woozy and yell "Is that all you got?"

The reasons being floated by Conservatives for the Democratic win of the Presidency are mind boggling, ranging from the President won because the "urban" (read as black) voter turnout was high to the "white establishment " now being the minority to the President handing out goodies to minorities as political bribes. It's as though they want you to believe the Chapelle Show reparations skit was about to come to life. What's most significant is not that these theories are constructed to de-legitimitze the election results, that's expected, but it is that they're coming from Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan and the top pundits at Fox News and not the far right wing fringe.

Despite the reality bubble that conservatives had constructed for themselves completely collapsing - they're simply continuing to hold onto "the faith."They're not out of step with the majority, the whole thing was all a trick! People love us! In fact, they're not only still living in the rubble of that bubble, they're building a new one, using as the foundation a conspiracy about Benghazi, who knew what when, and trying desperately to inflate the Patraeus side piece story into something they can impeach the President for. Because they so want to. Really they do.

Only Newt Gingrich is making the rational argument and instead of asking what's wrong with the
electorate, instead suggesting a reexamination of conservative policy. The rest who are even suggesting any change at all are more along of the lines of a need for some touch up paint around the edges to soften the message. Not change the message...just change how it's told.

Instead of even the beginnings of cooperation, we have the Conservatives...lead by the conservative entertainment complex (phrase via David Frum)... heading right back down the rabbit hole, seeking a nice "comfort conspiracy" to soothe themselves of the crazy idea that their message no longer resonates with the majority of Americans. Benghazi! We have people who screamed USA at the top of the lungs at political rallies filing petitions to secede simply because the majority of country sees the future of the country differently. My "new" conservative black friend still posts things like a picture of the President playing golf, pointing out his leisure while people still haven't recovered from Hurricane Sandy - as though the President should be up a pole stringing power cables or personally guiding the operations (which of course would be evidence of him being power mad). Nothing has changed.

We're back to the kid in the hall. Bleeding, staggering, missing a tooth, totally embarrased...shouting at the guy who just finished beating on him... "Oh, you scared?" 

So, several billion dollars and two years...just to get us back to here. Absolutely nothing.
2014 people. Because stress is like...damn.

Monday, July 23, 2012

My Last Musings on Aurora... (I hope)

This is a political post. 

Let's not make this tragedy political.

This was the spin that immediately emerged from those who looked at the events in Colorado and thought not of the loss of life or the senselessness of it all, but saw the possibility that at the end of it all, something might have to change.  And yet mere hours after it occurred, after they implored those who might suggest change not make it political, we heard the distinct rumblings of their own peccadilloes. From the common refrain "guns don't kill people" to the fanciful idea that if someone else there had been armed it would have, ironically, ended with movie style heroics.

First, one part is correct. Guns don't kill people. Guns are a tool, and tools are useless without users. But to make the argument as one of my conservative FB friends did less than 24 hours after it happened,  that "cars and bats also kill people, but no one stops you from driving to the ball game" mis-characterizes the whole situation.  But this is the misdirection employed by those seeking to enshrine the second amendment? The comparison is unwieldy at best. Cars are regulated out the wahzoo, and you can only drive them in certain areas called roads. And whereas bats aren't has heavily regulated, walking around with one on your shoulder all the time makes the rest of us real nervous.  Guns are tools, but they should be regulated. And regulations here wouldn't infringe upon our right to bear arms, much in the same way that some regulation on free speech and the right to assemble don't infringe upon our constitutional rights to those things. 

But It's the second idea that really scares me. That if someone else had been armed, the shooter could have been stopped sooner and lives would have been saved. This is a fantasy that deserves a dismantling as quickly as possible. Say, the theater held 300 people, and for this exercise... 25 are armed. In the middle of the film a man emerges and first throws tear gas and starts firing. He is heavily armed...and wearing body armor.  Of the 25, let's say 5 realize discretion is the better part of being out gunned and keep their guns in holster. But 20 people pull out weapons. In a now chaotic situation. Surely having terrified people blinded by tear gas in a dark room full of screaming running people waving loaded pistols ready to fire will make things safer! How many of them  would be nerves of steel sharpshooters? If just half of them fire off two shots and miss, how many more people get hit? Especially since now the bullets are coming from more than one direction. And if they hit him, then what? He was wearing as I stated earlier... body armor.  It may have fazed him for a few seconds...but he wasn't about the scamper away. A few of those brave souls, drawing attention to themselves would have gone down. 

And before it starts this situation isn't comparable to the armed man who stopped the robbery in Florida a few days earlier. Those thugs were there to rob and used violence only as a threat in a well lit room. Here, the criminals intent was to kill...nothing more. Threatend, they ran away. Here, we don't know what he might have done. He might have decided to go out in a bigger blaze of glory.

Adding more guns does not necessarily make a situation safer.

We'd all be happy to not politicize this tragedy. That was good advice. Now only if those people who suggested it had listened to themselves.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

You again?

Ramblings Post #194
We all want attention. But sometimes that attention is the kind that makes the skin crawl or causes those little hairs on the back of your neck to rise. That's a less than good kind of attention. And then there is the kind you can't quite quantify. It's like you're having a party, and you're unsure if you're happy people came, or if it bothers you that they only showed up for the cake. 


Nice Things....Ah...

I get a lot of comments for this blog that immediately get erased. Why? Because first, blogger provides a fairly decent spam filter for tings that are spam and second, if the end of your vague laudatory comment that clearly shows no reading of whatever I posted was actually done there is a bundle of links to handbags or shoes or your site, it's going to be caught by the aforementioned filter. They're currently running rotation working between "love you template", "I got so much information from your site" and "that post was so good." The fake applause is so unsatisfying.

The new popular spambot hot spot is one of my Obama posts that features his name at title. I must get ten comments a day there, all ending with four or five links to whatever the guy running the bot is trying to sell. So they all get swallowed up.  I wonder if its targeted like they do regular commercials.  Interesting fact - you can tell if the television show you're watching considers you its intended audience if the commercials appeal to you. You watching a show and all the commercials are for something you hate? The powers that be have no idea you like it. Now in my case the majority of the links are for high end women's apparel - shoes, handbags, scarves, etc. So this little puppy must be "popular with the ladies."

I know the number of daily comments because for some reason, the comments section updates me every time a comment is left...I think left it set on moderate.... so my phone which gets push email updates me to my "advertising partners" efforts each time. Which gets me all excited that someone is trying to reach me! Maybe even for a job! And then I see it's just another ad push. And I am sad. 

Barkeep, a nice lemonade. Hey, do these spambot hits count towards my total

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Bar Chatter

Bar Chatter #24
Sometimes it just ain't enough to make a post, but it's still needs to go out....it's just bar chatter.


How not to endear yourself to your new professor, especially when you've signed up late for the course without consulting them:

"Well, I heard there was no reading."

Since the class is project based I guess that's technically true, but if you say it like not reading is a benefit, you're probably doing it wrong.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Things I meant to comment on... (Politically)

This is a Political Post
A lot happened in the last week. But since I'm still a law student, I can't always get it all in. I'm both elated that we're finally taking an interest in our leaders, but saddened that we've turned them into reality show characters. Well, it's a start anyway...

Weinergate

Anthony Weiner, with the big...situation.

Really? We got unemployment, climate change, debt ceiling, and everything else...and this is what's dominating the headlines? Really. A picture of a guy's who-whatzis?

How it should have gone:

"That picture? The one of the large endowment? Yep, that's mine. Big ain't it. Ha ha. Since you're asking, I didn't cheat on my wife, it was all internet. But now me and her we're going to work our issues out in private. Private. And the people in my district, the one's that elected me, aren't upset, so what's your problem? Why do you keep bringing it up?"

5 minutes. In and out. (Pun intended)

The dignity of the office isn't even an issue, considering the number of Congressmen who've lied, cheated, floated checks, taken bribes and kickbacks... and in the case of David Vitter, actually used prostitutes... but remain sitting members in good standing. Its not like this could lower our opinion of Congress. And I think the Conservatives are just elated its not one of theirs this time, and they can play the shocked role.

But here's where you'll note the Democrats are showing an inexperience with modern scandal, actually upset instead of employing the usual political tactic of their opponents of sweeping stuff under the rug - i.e., mess up, coverup, get caught, lie, admit, rehab, restart, etc. Even easier, since the crux of the average scandal is that the party out philandering touts family values as a key selling points, the lack of hypocrisy should be the first defense.

The good folks at LDT&UD are ready to help put this thing to bed if anyone calls by the way. And we're thinking about putting the rib tips on special

Seriously, we've spent how many days talking about married guy trying to hook up on the sly using the internet? I'm not sure this qualifies for news even on the Duh Channel.

Newt Gingrich

It's easier to list the problems than the solutions. He stumbled out of the gate by being reasonable and it just got worse. The jewerly tab, and then the Greek vacation less than two weeks into the "campaign". Now, the crack political posse he'd assembled to track down that villian of a President decides to head back to town rather follow him further into the wilderness.

Because, as I understand it, his wife really doesn't understand what it actually takes - the glad handing, the running around chasing early support in the caucuses - to be President.

I want to say stop, it over Newt, but really, it can only get better for him. Right? Right?

Sarah Palin

Apparently she really isn't smarter than a fifth grader.

Thinking about Palin has me wondering what the definition of a "gotcha" question would be. Technically, a gotcha question only exists for those who profess to speak about something they don't know about or are just plain lying. For thoughtful people, intelligent people, reasonable people, there really aren't any gotcha questions. But I'm thinking that questions about American history - especially the American patriots revered so much by the Tea party - most certainly wouldn't fall into that classification. When you take great pains to wrap your image in the flag, it would be a bonus if you knew what it stood for.

And the aftermath, I'm not sure which would have been the better course. She could have admitted she got it wrong, but then she would have looked rather silly for not knowing basic history. She may not know it, but we don't think she's that smart anyway, so this wouldn't have been as bad as she thinks. Or her second option, which she chose to execute, was to loudly double down, and defend her ignorance as a different interpretation. It's closer to revisionist history or Axe Cop than reality, but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

However, much like the famously thin skinned Donald Trump, she might want to just keep grifting off her followers. She got to the last election after all the infighting and name calling, when it was pretty much smooth sailing. I don't think she has the mettle for a full bore campaign and all the foolishness that goes with it. If she thought it was bad before...


Herman Cain

Larry Wilmore (NOT Herman Cain)

Larry Wilmore, Senior Black Correspondent for the Daily Show, put it best this week in that Obama was in danger of losing the incredible 96% penetration he received among black voters last election. If he isn't careful, Wilmore said, it might go as low as 94%. The only way to get it any lower would be, to quote a colorful Louisana politician would be if Obama got caught "in bed with a dead woman or a live boy." Then it might go as low as 92%. Black people tend to vote for black people.

It is this certainty that fuels the Cain for president campaign. He has some reason to believe he can split that black vote. Um... right. Although an accomplished business man and popular in some sections of the tea party, he right now strikes me as an political opportunist. Further, he subscribes to the odd notion to good businessmen make good politicians, because of the underlying belief that the large amounts of money the government handles mean a good business acumen would be handy. Unfortunately, because business and government have completely different underlying principles, that isn't the case. Which will quickly become evident once people start asking REAL questions.

So, If Cain somehow wins the nomination, Obama might get that number back up to 94%.

And that's when Larry Wilmore will get his own show on CNN.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Five Days. Five long Days

Ramblings Post #107
What happens when the world stops? What happens when all you know is torn from you and all you have left is the ancient tools of a civilization long past its prime? What happens when your...internet connection goes down? Friday night I came home to discover no internet at my house and it took AT&T five days to fix it. Here I will relate the horror the agony, the pain, the boredom, the surprise at how often I check Facebook, the ability to focus that suddenly arose, the paucity of good phone games and how Direct TV and a PS3 made it all bearable.



Friday Night

In my neighborhood, how you break into a home is you a) cut the phone lines, b) turn off the power externally c) break a window and crawl in and d) destroy the little box that contains the actual ringing thing. Standard procedure.

So Friday, I ducked out of a boring company function, get home and lay out on the couch for a hot minute. My auto currently is AC deficient - that becomes important later - so enjoy the cool of the house and nod off a little bit. So around 10pm or so, as I've apparently turned into a complete homebody, I mean home on a Friday night in Atlanta, I decide to check the web for the usual flotsam and foolishness.

I get the no network error and figure something is wrong with the system. Run a check - reset network access, check cables, diagnostic on system, and then I finally check the actual phone line. Which is dead. So then I grab my flashlight, and step outside, to find that my phone line has been cut but that they couldn't get the power box open. By the way, shout out to MasterLock and its fine products. So yeah, that happened. Again.

So then I discover that my ISP is, er, how can I put this delicately....oh, yeah, bullshit.. I call the Repair Line and get the automated service, which after running me through the basics, enters a "trouble ticket" and tells me that they'll have a technician on site...by next Wednesday. Yeah, right. So I call the Customer Service line which tells me that I need to call the Repair line. So I call the Sales line, where I get an ACTUAL PERSON, who tells me to call the Repair line, you know, where there are no actual people.

And since my home alarm runs through my phone and I was supposed to be going home to see my folks out of state, we suddenly have an impasse.

I dial up some Red Dead Redemption in disgust and shoot people at random for a while.

Saturday

I'm up at 8am on a Saturday burning up cell phone minutes. I call everybody I already called and then a few more. I call the folks and apprise them of the situation and they're understanding. For the first time in a while I actually have a few things worth stealing, so I'm ready to hunker down and defend the fort. By staying home.

I finally get someone on the phone from repair around noon, and I calmly explain the situation. I know the game, and I know that screaming at people usually only works if you've worked up to a rage, as they tend to feel bad since you were soooo cooperative when you started. I'm assured that a tech will be assigned shortly and that the local manager will call me with a update.

Hah.

Meanwhile my brother, with whom I had planned traveling home with, has the idea that since I have to stay and he's going , we can switch cars since mine gets much better gas mileage. I knew there was a reason I bought that thing.

So I spend the day waiting for the AT&T guy and playing Red Dead Redemption. Which really is Grand Theft Auto in the Old West, which actually makes it a better game since the writers seemed to have turned their brains back on and got a little more creative with the all important side games. So I'm playing, and playing and playing. When finally, my phone buzzes and I'm all excited because, um, nope, it's just Shade.

Turns out that Shade is in town visiting Scoop. She's the one who lost her husband in February under some truly tragic circumstances, and Shade dipped out on her residency for the weekend to check on her girl. Now that's care and compassion for you. Only now they're fighting like usual and Shade needs somewhere to catch her breath. So I ride over and pick her up and we go hair shopping.

Seriously, I did not realize that their are that many brands of hair.

Afterward we slip over to my place because she just needs some place else to be. After informing me that I should have married a chick in an old picture I have, as she's thumbing through my movie collection she mentions that she's never seen Bill Cosby/Sidney Poitier classic - Let's Do It Again. This is an outrage and a travesty. So we put a bottle of wine on ice and pop the movie in the DVD. We laugh, we marvel, she's suddenly bright again.


I love old movies. I must have seen this 40 times.

After the movie we talk about her and Scoop. I remind her that all she can do is let the girl work through her grief and wait on the other end. I also realize that because Shade is going through residency, only THE must fun time in a doctor's career [note sarcasm] she's not in the best position herself, but things don't always go as planned. It's not always pretty or pleasant, but it's what you have to do. I drop her back off and notice for the first time that the AT&T guy still hasn't shown up.

I also realize that it's been more than twenty four hours since I've checked Facebook.

I look down, but my hand isn't shaking. Yet.


Sunday

Red Dead Redemption is a long game, and now I just want to freaking finish. Actually, compared to GTA, which had over a hundred missions, its actually pretty short now that I think about it. Okay, maybe I'm just tired of it. And every so often I get up and walk into the computer room/library/4th bedroom in my house before I remember the internet is still off.


Long ass short game.

I wash some clothes, run to the grocery store, mope on the couch, stare at my phone willing it to ring and announce that the repair guy will be there in five minutes. I do not work on my book.

Okay, side point. at some point in the previous week because I have the summer off I had decided that I was going to finish one of my many half started not fully formed but really incredible books. Not the little, well, to be honest overly long love letters to Sporty wrapped in book form, but an actual novel. With characters and a story line and plot and dramatic intensity and all that. I'd actually framed out one of them at some point in the last few days and had started re-writing (okay, I'd redone the first page, but that is a start) and had been thinking about it off and on up until Friday. Strange how little things knock you off your feed.

Late afternoon my brother re-appears with my car, which he complains has no AC. I know, I told him this prior to leaving. He compares my car to a rolling sauna, and swears he's lost 10 pounds since he left. We laugh, and talk for a minute or three and he's gone.

So it's me again. Me and that no internet having computer. Alone.

Apparently my home computer is only good for having the internet, because I realize I haven't touched it in two days since it doesn't have internet. So I sit down, arrange a few pics in some folders, open a few programs and mess around a bit. Oddly, I work on my "website" with no ability to actually post the results.

My Facebook away time nears sixty hours and surprised I'm not sweating bullets, curled up in the corner rocking myself. Oh wait, I have the AC on and pint of vanilla ice cream. I'm good.


Monday

In the office, there on my desk is a computer that IS hooked to internet.

I check the sports, the weather, the news, the comics and it's only then that I realize that I mostly use the internet for useless stuff, and that the entire affair is trivial. I also realize that I really really like the trivial stuff.

I call the good people at AT&T again, and get transferred back to Repair, only this time after a brief 22 minutes on hold I get through! Eureka. Wait, I was here on Saturday and that got me a six day wait! Okay, so I calmly explain again to this new rep my situation. She's amazed to find out the robbery method (she honestly said "Wait till I tell them this one") and willing to help. Only problem is that she can only do so much, because logically, she wanted to help so that means she really couldn't help. Of course. So I get my "get well" date bumped up to Tuesday, not Wednesday.

Like, cool.

Yeah, right.

So Monday night is watching TV and playing Red Dead Redemption. I have other games I should be playing, possibly better games but I'll be damned if I'm going to play anything else until I finish this game. Also, the FOX show the Good Guys is improbably good. Improbably.

Thank God I didn't decide to dabble with this game and take classes at the same time.


What I wanted to do by Monday night....if the punch would hit my ISP.

Tuesday...

My brother once said that a hardcore gamer has to play something every chance they get. I may be a hardcore PC head, because I just realized part of my morning routine was to get up and check my email. And futz around on the computer a bit. Which is kinda sad.

I get up and hang out for minute, figuring why drive to work and then back from work if the repair guy is coming. So I wait around and wait around, and whoa, it's after 10am. I get my stuff drive into the office, get started and the my phone buzzes...

....you know who it is.

So I get back in my car, and drive BACK to my house where dude is already done. My communte is like 15 minutes, so there really wasn't a issue, just the wires. He's just waiting for me to check and make sure I'm satisfied. We even have a brief discussion where the tech gives me some fairly surprising options, including another company's product!!!

So I'm back. Not that anybody was watching....

Barkeep, let's just kill that keg. Wouldn't want it to go bad.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Let me get out of your way

Ramblings Post #102
I remember this time in St. Louis, at 3am in a bathroom in an all night restroom...this guy stopped me and my buddy and talked to us for 10 minutes about a charity boxing match he'd been roped into. Another time, I found myself at Northwestern University on a Friday night in a huge crowd waving at the only other black person I'd seen in 20 minutes. There are odd moments in life. Strange.



Whoa!

Here at the "chicken plucking" & ping pong factory and our working spaces aren't too far from one another. So occasionally I'll overhear a conversation taking place, oh, five feet away, that I not only probably should not have overheard moreover I really had no desire to. One such conversation occurred today. Again.

A quick bit of background:

Two guys I work in fairly close proximity to hang out together. One of them is a recovering neurotic [as in was institutionalized neurotic] and the other is a role playing card game aficionado. Let's call them the Blu and Poppi, because the first draft called them Bluto and Popeye, and that got boring and visually jarring after a quick minute. And I'm feeling frisky. Blu is the one still under doctor's care, and Poppi - whom I worked in proximity to for some time - used to give me ideas from his life for that long forgotten script gathering virtual dust on a USB drive somewhere.

Blu scares me. He's a fairly nice guy most of the time, but he really kind of reminds me of Alan in the Hangover, he's there and its cool and then....zing... just a bit too far. You want to say something, but your not sure what. Poppi on the other hand is harmless...in a well, you want to help kind of way. Which kinda makes them halfway perfect to pal around with. They go to the Comic Book shows, and comic book oriented movies, parties and play the online games, etc . Your basic geek buddy-palship. Which is cool, right.

Well anyway for the past few weeks, Poppi has been relating how as of late, Blu has been making him uncomfortable with some his innuendo and jokes. After he described them to me I joked that maybe he wasn't aware of it, but from his telling of the tale, it would be fairly obvious to anyone listening that he and Blu were dating...and as it turned out he was the woman. Which I and a few co-workers thought was funny. Theoretically, Poppi is supposed to be heterosexual. At least I assume so. He does show an interest in women, and there are times I when I over hear him talking to a woman and I have to look over to make sure he really still is at work. He sounds great, but then nothing happens.

So today, I'm neck deep in feathers plucking chickens when I hear this line....

"I don't know what to say to you, that you can fix, so that it will be all better and we will be alright again." It's Poppi and he sounds a little sad.

I wasn't paying attention before then, I was actually "working" and so I'm thinking Poppi is talking to one of the many women he flirts with, but doesn't follow through on. I mean, reasonable to assume, we all have moments at work where personal situations just can't be avoided, which is why everyone in your office might now know your private nickname for partner's woohoo. It's cool. He's having a moment. That is until...

"I'm not sure what you mean." That would be Blu responding.

I peer up over the edge of my workspace and it looks like THEY are having a real moment. A weird moment, but a moment nonetheless.

Awkward.

Poppi mentions some comments Blu made about "putting him to bed", the treatment Poppi got from Blu for being busy one weekend and a few other lines that made me uncomfortable just listening. Right about then I remember that Poppi is a brave man, considering Blu once came to my desk frantically before he realized the music was coming from my speakers and not his own head. Which apparently was possibility. Really.

Normally I'd put on my headphones, duck my head and let it all go. Instead, I'm up and out of my seat in a flash, to the other end of the floor where I take a quick breath and wait until they have to get back to work - approximately twelve feet away from another. With me in-between.

Tomorrow promises to be exciting.

Barkeep, a B-12 shot and Red Bull. I might need wings tomorrow.