Seems like I've heard this one before...

Ramblings Post #399
First, let's be clear. I do NOT have an OnlyFans account. I mean, as a customer, not as a creator. Not either one. Seriously, I'm barely suitable to show my face in public. The idea of taking off my shirt and preserving those images for posterity (or the internet - same thing) might get deported from the planet. Yes, I've lost some weight, I think, but for me to get camera fine would involve an act of God and plastic surgery. I've said it before and I'll say it again, my biggest asset is a lovely personality. I'm a delight!

I could never bring myself to give OnlyFans any money. Don't get me wrong the women seemed...interesting. And a number of them supposedly were surprisingly relatable. I understand that one of the features was that the women would actually interact with followers regularly, and that it wasn't just a show on the internet. And for those people who performed, it provided a safe environment in which to work since it was all virtual. Which actually says a lot more about the state of society than I'm gonna comment on this post. Oh, I've given money to worse endeavors, I assure you. But something about it just didn't sit right with me.

And now the good folks there have banned (or are going to ban) content not safe for work, and go back to what they were doing before. Um...

Let me explain. While my only involvement with OnlyFans was to occasionally ignore the young woman who would follow me on twitter so she entice me to open my wallet on her behalf, I did have an account with another site called Tumblr (which I've admitted here before and I'm sorry). That actually wasn't a half-bad hangout, a interesting mix of photo collages, art, creations, gaming stuff, stories, and just whatever someone wanted to put on there. It was free form, and could be almost magazine like if done right. There was a little eye candy too, but what got me started was the vast array of imagery, some of which I have used on this very blog. And the eye candy.

Anyway, when I say I've heard this one before, well, the creative and eclectic Tumblr already mapped out this future. A few years ago, the then very popular Tumblr was purchased for $1.1 billion dollars. It was going to be a multi-media powerhouse to rival Facebook that had grown organically, so the future was bright. And to protect that future post the sale the site pretty much banished the adult content, all that eye candy, behind multiple-multiple impediments. Essentially they just hid them away and put a lock on the door. Well, within the first 90 days about 30% of their user-base packed up shop and headed for other parts of the internet. Whoosh. I'm not saying the two events were connected, but hey. So you think there would be a lesson there. I would, but apparently not. 

Tumblr did all things....

As much as THE OWNERS don't want to admit it, for investor purposes, adult content pretty much MADE OnlyFans. While the platform was originally was designed to showcase musical and other artists with small but devoted followings, it was barely on my radar prior to the shift to more ...interesting content and I stays on the internet. I mean with Tumblr the draw of the adult stuff wasn't as clear, but here the brand has become attractive women saying "come check out my OnlyFans!" Which is kind of definitive. And as I've said over and over again, IP is not a fungible as people think it is. You would expect change of something like this to be gradual, not a hard and fast turn.  

Just last year OnlyFans handled some $2 billion in revenue on sales $12.5 billion through this portal, something most sites not named Amazon would kill for. Quite a bit of that was the adult stuff. So what is going on here? Why the hard turn? Well, to be honest this is greed. The company is trying to get "valuation" which is investor talk for "even more money" but like by the end of the quarter. Yes, it grew organically, but now the owners are done with that. And just like with Tumblr this cleaning up the site is part of the getting valuation process, because investment groups hate porn. (I started laughing as soon as wrote that.) Now that they've got a "BRAND" they're hoping to convert the platform back to the musical artists and other influencers. *giggles*

Just so we're clear, how did that cleaning up the adult stuff work out for Tumblr and its deal? Well, let's see, they ended up being sold again not too long after in 2019 for ...checks notes... $3 million doll ...checks notes again....um, million? THREE Million?  

Whoa.

But it could work this time, what do I know?

Barkeep, it's me. I used to come in here all the time. I'm the guy that orders the bourbon when the vodka is free. Remember? Yeah, I'm that guy! 

Five minutes watching....The Watch

I don't watch a lot of movies because I didn't have a lot of time. A lot of movies and television of late have become more niche oriented and horrible, I'm trying to write this sequel to a first book I haven't even published and I have a ton of video games I bought on sale I still want to play so there. So, I watch a movie or a little TV when I get a chance.  You know, I guess I really don't watch a lot of movies or television. Go figure. 

Full disclosure: I am a Terry Pratchett fan. Excuse me, Sir Terry Pratchett. To me his Discworld series is really a series of essays and treatises on government, economy, society, gender identity, religion, tradition, belief and more all disguised as high fantasy. Or low fantasy depending on your point of view.

And when the BBC decided to create a series I got excited. Then I heard they would be updating the stories and characters I got nervous. Then I saw the promo photos and got confused. Then I saw the first episode and now I wish I never had. It went off the rails about thirty seconds in and never looked back. 

I own 31 books in the series and recognized two of these characters. One was the rock person.

So how bad was it? Very, very bad. Imagine if they had taken Harry Potter and instead of Hogwarts set it in an stereotypical Hollywood "inner city" school and claimed they'd made it better. It's like the people who made it didn't read the stories, or even if they had didn't understand what they were working with. What emerged here is, in perhaps a good-hearted attempt to be inclusive, is a ridiculous mess that can't even keep up with the basic architecture of the city Ankh-Morpork, which in the books is practically a character itself, much less create the setting need to tell the stories that come later. The stories that actually make you think, that make this a cut above just plain fantasy. 

From here down, SPOILERS. Not that I think you should ever watch this, but still, got to be fair.

This version of death sounded like Wendell Pierce from The Wire (when I wrote this honestly didn't know that was actually him). That's not terrible, but the characterization did not sound like an ethereal being curious about humanity. Its interaction with Vimes as a framing device was way too casual, too chummy. DEATH speaks in capital letters. DEATH is aloof.

This Sam Vimes looks like a dirty bum version of Jack Sparrow, and that alone says a lot. Maybe it was the black eye liner, but that was not a good first image to invoke. Vimes is a complex character, this guy feels more like Frank Gallagher from Shameless than someone competent just half in the bag.

Was that dog at the beginning supposed to be Gaspode?

Why does the Patrician's palace look like it's in the middle of a grand estate and not right in down the city off the river? What are the soaring peaks and tall hills littering in the background, isn't the city at the bottom of the Sto Plains where it meets the circle sea? This just feels so off. Later we get a crows eye view and it looks like the Unseen University is atop a lush green hill as well. The city is a part of the story, and here is feels like they cast it wrong. I mean, the books were written in part to so that you could follow along on a map. This looks like the visual designer just thought of how pretty and majestic this all would look.  

How is Cheery Littlebottom, a dwarf, almost as tall as Carrot Ironfounderson, who is a large human? And why is this person beardless? The entire dwarf story arc is discussion on gender identity, society and acceptance and here it's just rinse washed for clarity. The writers basically threw away a multi-season B story and perhaps a whole season if they ever got to go to Uberwald. This is what I meant when I said the people who did this either did not read the whole series or didn't understand it. How they did Angua I don't even want to talk about. Even worse how they did Detritus. And Lady Ramkin is not Batwoman despite how much I like the actress playing her,

And since I'm here, the whole series develops a number of strong female protagonists. Angua, Lady Ramkin and Cheery are just the tip of the iceberg, I mean had this been done well we might have gotten a Granny Weatherwax headed Witches series, but this show felt a need to stuff things in at the beginning and just ruins it. You want to make the Head of Assassin's Guild a woman? Fine. By the way, the producer needs to realize the point of some the stories was that ill informed old men were making all the less than intelligent decisions, which was discussion on bad governance, but hey, inclusion. Maybe they just chose the wrong actress to swap out the Patrician, so maybe that, but I would have preferred the Charles Dance version quite frankly, in the proper setting of course. But they swapped out Dibbler? What was the point of gender swapping Dibbler? Meat pies, guaranteed one hundred percent pig! You mean pork? I said one hundred percent pig.

And finally, and perhaps most importantly....No Nobby Nobbs? No Fred Colon? That's just not right. 

I want to be generous but so much of it didn't make sense, from the weird mix of sci-fi and fantasy to the how the story didn't want to respect the characters or the audience they'd obviously hoped to bring in by using characters "inspired by" the Discworld series. It's a series with millions of books sold and instead of at least an attempt at faithful adaption we're giving this. If it was going to go this far afield, twist it so much to update it and fix it, then why even use the Discworld names?

I am not amused.

If this all shows up on a streaming network four or five years from now and I'm holed up in the house unable to walk and can't find the remote, I'll give it another go. But for now this just isn't for me. 

Barkeep. I'm getting healthy now, thank you. I'll have my bourbon with branch water please, thank you

December 35th, 2020

This is a political post.

Is this just a holdover fate couldn't get on the schedule last year, or is 2021 gonna try to one-up 2020?

Following most election years, the final certification of the incoming president is usually a quiet affair. The previously announced and counted electoral college votes are brought forth in ceremonial boxes, re-counted in front of everyone and affirmed. I mean, we already watched the states cast them, can do math, so we know the outcome so there is little set piece. There is the occasional objection (democrats did object in the last election), but the ceremony proceeds with such regularity that most of us were not even aware of the requirement until this year.

That's them.

But after losing the election that seemed to take forever to count, refusing to concede, and getting 99% of his challenges for non-existent fraud thrown out (note that not a single lawyer when standing in front of judge argued fraud) and then getting caught on tape trying to Godfather a state officer to do him a solid, well, long story short let's just say this hasn't been a normal election. And since the Veep kindly informed el Cheato that he didn't have the power to pick which electoral college votes got counted, and declined to even try, things have gone even less well. So of course the orange one upped the ante and held a rally on the Ellipse to tell his rabid, and apparently constitutionally ignorant, followers to go down the lawn Capitol Building where the ballots were being counted and do something. And so they did.

It took a while but that old so-and-so from Carolina was exactly right. Under Cheato the Republicans have lost the Presidency, the House and as of this afternoon, the Senate. But instead of simply brushing themselves off and learning from their defeat they're...checks notes...storming the Capitol Building during session and making America look like a banana republic or backwater dictatorship to a worldwide audience. Yeah, sounds about right.

If this happened somewhere else we'd already be looking for a reason to invade. This is America, we're supposed to be the tsk-tsking as those less constitutionally created countries have things like this happen to them. This is supposed to happen over there, wherever there is. But that was then and this is now.

In the chamber of the House of Representatives furniture barricaded the door as security drew weapons and Congressmen put on gas masks. In the Senate the Veep was rushed out as protesters screamed through the doors. Senators were evacuated and somebody smartly grabbed the actual ballot certificates before rushing out. Broken windows, American flags thrown from the roof, protesters scuffling with police and later cavorting on the floor of the House screaming at the wind. Which is amazing because the Capitol building is a secure structure. Or it was supposed to be, except for the video of security opening gates and taking selfies with the rioters.

 

Yes. Rioters. Or Terrorists. Because the instant they broke through the security barricades in an attempt to incite terror in the hearts and minds of our elected officials they became the definition. Domestic, but still the definition. Yes, it's just that simple.

Curious I turned to Newsmax and OANN to see their coverage. As expected it took them less than a minute to pretend this was just a peaceful protest and respectful of the history despite images of people battling with the Capitol Police or hanging from the gallery in the House chamber. And they tried hard to compare it a hypothetical "Antifa" attack that they quickly assumed would have involved apocalyptic damage. Then as if taking a cue, on social media the type of people who watch these channels swore that the protests had be infiltrated by agents wishing to make them look bad. They asked that we ignore there t-shirts trumpeting revolution with the date just below, or the rioters screaming about how they were taking the building or intended to occupy it all night.

 

Because reasons. 

 

The saddest part is that no one will be held accountable for this. Well, in a stunning move Twitter did suspend Cheato's account for twelve hours, which has no doubt lead to a teeth gnashing rage that we'll all be spared from. That will be the long and the short of it. Despite the law, including ones that Cheato himself approved of, and despite there being hundreds of photos and by now hours of video, there is little likelihood of real punishment. That most of these terrorists are going to walk away from this free and clear is a different kind of appalling.

 

And you KNOW why.

And that's part of the problem. If we're going to be a country of law and order, it can't be law and order for just some people. The greatest country in the world can't be great for just a few. This day, along with the elections that turned Georgia blue was supposed to be the dawning of a new America. This would have been dawn, the inauguration more like fresh coffee or that first good stretch. But instead, because as it was so aptly pointed out this morning at the rally this is no longer the republicans versus democrats or conservative versus liberals, with all the machinations, footwashing and fawing by McConnell and the boys it's become Followers of Cheato versus Everybody who is not. Maybe karma will get them. Because I'm not even going to mention that I didn't see many Covid masks at all. But then the election is over. We weren't supposed to ever hear about it again. Remember?

This level of ridiculousness can't continue if we wish to remain America. Prosecution needs to happen. A lot of prosecution. If only to demonstrate we follow the law here. At all levels. And it's got to start with Cheato.

Will and Jada (as required by Internet Rule #478b)

Ramblings Post #384
I watched the video. It looked like he'd been crying for a while. That funny laugh you do when you try to play it off. I watched his jaw clench. His body language. But she...she looked like she had just gotten something off her chest and was finally free. We're all different the ways we deal with stuff. 

This year. I can honestly say that one thing I did not see coming this year was so many black women out here trying to revive that old Friends excuse from the mid-ninties? You know the one I mean. They were on a break! Yeah, but here we are now and Will and Jada, well, they still married. So that break got the same validity as it did the first time. I mean, if they had really wanted one, it ain't that hard to get the divorce process started. People start it and then take it back all the time. Especially in California. But ya'll believe what ya'll want to.

Because the truth is, this the old double standard. On damn steroids. Let's just be completely honest here. If a still married Will had gone out and developed a sexual relationship with one of his daughter Willow's friends who was half his age, under the guise of "helping her heal herself," the Fresh Prince's new nickname would be "Black Epstein." And the uptick in discussions about wealthy prominent men preying vulnerable young women would have been high enough to start a new cable channel. Will woulda been cancelled, deleted, cast out, defrocked, and they'd even be taking Wild Wild West off of streaming platforms (Okay seriously, that's a terrible movie, they can take that one out the rotation anytime, no scandal needed.) But here it's Jada. And she was in a very unhappy place. So...it's okay then?

That part.

That part right there is why even if it was an "open relationship" or whatever, what she did was just foul. Now, I imagine if the stories are true, and I'm not saying one way or another if they are, then the other people in their life are supposed to be like OTHER people. Like away people. I dunno, maybe a little chippie down in Hollywood. Maybe a yoga instructor. Maybe somebody who only rolls through when their team plays the Lakers or the Clippers. The other person is NOT somebody who you both invited into your home, became friends with your kids and took on family vacations with you. Not somebody you posted up on the red carpet with. And then when it all comes out, your description isn't supposed to use artful words like "entanglement" instead of simple words like cheated, because well it kinda makes it sound like maybe there were feelings on both sides of that "tangle." Which isn't the flavor you want to add right now. Since you're still married and all.

Maybe there is a feeling she "deserved to get him back" for past transgressions. Maybe they were on a break. But this situation is like he hooked up with a waitress from the Cheesecake Factory she'll never meet, and she hooked up with the next door neighbor kid who he taught to play catch and sometimes comes over to eat dinner. The little fella is even in your family Christmas card.

So, it's not the same thing. It's not even close.

Barkeep. Water. Because there is no celebration in heartbreak.
 

Back from the Far Edge

Ramblings Post #381
Alas we do not understand the power it holds over us until it is gone. Then, tired and alone we weep at it's absence and pine for it's return. It has become our breath, our world, our everything, gone in a wink. We return to the darkness without it, and die.

As I hunkered down in preparation for this long period of self-reflection and withdrawal to discover who I am and what I am all about (i.e., bunkering to avoid infection) my very lifeline to reality began to falter. Um okay,  I'm being overly dramatic: My internet went down. Now to be clear, the internet is one of those things that didn't even exist when I was young. I had a great life before it and swear that before it came life was fine. But like those two years that I lived with no washer and dryer, this past week I have had a chance to be reminded how important it is to have this now utility need INSIDE the house.

So I'm downloading a new game. No, I haven't I've finished playing any one of the old ones I've started in the past two years. No, I haven't finished any one of my writing projects. And also no, I haven't finished any of the other self improvement/ life changing projects I need to finish. But I'm downloading this game and the thing starts hanging. No big. My connection isn't always the fastest but it has worked day in and day out for lo the past decade. Sure, sometimes I have to reset the modem but it's not a big deal. Or so I thought.

Reset does not re-establish my connection. Nor does turning the router off and on. Or the computer. I check the cables, try again and nothing. I'm tempted to switch the breaker in the breaker box but calm down.

I actually call tech support. *Sigh*

I am not happy with this turn of events because many years ago I actually worked tech support, and was pretty good at it. So this is kind of a personal acknowledgement that maybe, just maybe, my skills in the tech area have eroded a bit and I need to "get my weight up." For the record, both the automated service AND the person I spoke to shortly after both had repeat the exact same steps I went through before I called them. But after some checking on her end, the young woman immediately decided to send me a new router. My previous router was a decade old after all. Had to break sometime. Okay, fine. But that's three days away.

But what do I do in the meantime?

Because if you weren't paying attention, almost every game platform these days asks you log on to play the games you've already paid for. I'm sorry, that you've leased. And with no internet my PS4 games didn't play right. So I got really into Twitter and Instagram. By the way, Black Twitter is having a field day with the Quarantine. After that hour ...I started my steam games in offline mode (Thanks Steam) so I did get a Civilization VI play-through. Note that by the time I figure out Crusader Kings the next version will be out. Lots of Dwarf Fortress was played. I watched Turner Classic Movies and Cartoon Network. I napped and tried to not to eat all my snacks.

So three days pass, and my new router pops up on my door step. I'm happy as all get out, until it doesn't work. Like, it comes on, the lights blink, except the important one, and it does not fix the problem. So I call tech support again and after repeating the basic turn it off and turn it on steps this time she tells me she thinks the problem could be in the wires in my wall. They have to send a guy. An actual guy. But, it won't be for two days. Ugh. I flick back through Twitter and Instagram. Fifteen minutes later I start a new Fortress. Considering this isn't really a ride to Starbucks to connect for a while situation, or just access it from the office reality, the hours go by so slowly it's criminal. So I took a stroll.

My street was empty, but something about what the lady had said struck an odd memory. My brain put two and two together and got fourteen, then smiled at me but didn't explain the math. Outside in the crisp spring air I follow the line from my house to the pole and down the block. Now, as I said, my tech experience is a bit dated, but I'm pretty sure that the wire from ISP shouldn't hang in a droop. Well, at least not droop so low that I touch it with my hand. I mean I don't, but I can. Seems odd. As I said, I'm not an expert, but still. So at that point, in the chill of the air standing on empty street I'm expecting the guy to show up, see this and send for another truck. So, two more days after the first guy shows up? I'm starting to see the viewpoint of those insistent Spring Breakers still traipsing around Miami. How bad could death be?

But, to his credit the guy showed up, looked at and then got it done. At one point I thought he'd disappeared only to find him half a block down the street on a ladder up the pole doing whatever it guys do up a pole fixing telephone/internet cable. And just like that I'm back. I'M BACK. And just like that I realize that all the stuff I'd meant to write so I would have something to say now that I'm back did not get written. I'm going to blame it on not being able to research on the internet. Damn you no internet!

Barkeep, use one of the open bottles. This liquor got to last until who knows when. 

Can the City of Dallas please buy the Cowboys football team?

Ramblings Post #380
Few thing arouse our emotion like sport. I has no real bearing on the lives of 99% of us, yet it can and has become the focus of so many of us. We live and breathe our chosen games, spiritually sharing in the triumphs and wailing at defeat. Why? Because, that's why. And that's all you need to know.  

I first saw the rumor on Instagram. Micheal Irvin said he had to put his drink down. Then I heard Colin Cowherd extol the virtues of such an arrangement. It's been discussed that it's just a ploy to get Dak to the table and get a deal done. I don't care. All I know is, and I'm going to say this emphasis....

JERRY JONES, DO NOT SIGN TOM BRADY   

Just don't. Tom Brady is first, not the quarterback he once was and second, and I cannot stress this enough, I'm fairly certain that he can't win without Bill Belichick and that special brand of less than kosher football they play in New England. Every ring they have is tainted, and just last year they proved they still haven't learned their lesson.

There I said. And pretty boy Brady is one good hit away from just putting on a suit at halftime and going upstairs to sit in the broadcast booth. Okay maybe, just maybe he can win you a single Superbowl, but he's got at most two more seasons in him. And then it's off to see if you can luck into a good quarterback again like you did Dak. Sure, you'll hit the lottery three times in row.

Bottom line - Dak Prescott is a future, and Tom Brady is the one night stand. 

Don't do it. 

The "Friendly Confines" of JerryWorld...

Ramblings Post #379
Where I been? I want to say I've been writing. I started the sequel to my alt-1960's tale The Grand Berber Most Divine, only this time the protagonist has a new challenge: family. It's tentatively titled The African Riviera Most Resplendent. But that's stalled for other reasons. And I did actually go to see Sporty. But that's a post I keep re-hashing in my head. And I'm leaving the Ranch. But that's also a whole other deal. So what I'm going to do is go with the familiar. No, not politics, although whenever I run into whoever is running the DNC some words will be spoken, believe that! No, I'm going to do football. It's just so soothing. Or at least it's supposed to be. 

Ron Rivera is out at Carolina because the Panther's owner David Tepper has stated clearly that he will not accept the idea of mediocrity for his team. Ron Rivera and Jason Garrett started at roughly the same time, 2011 and have similar resumes of just above a .500 record and three division titles. Neither one's team is playing that well this season either.  The one notable exception is that Ron actually took the Panthers to a Superbowl. We're still waiting. 

As I was pondering this, it hit me. Kids, I hate to say it, but the Dallas Cowboys are apparently the Chicago Cubs of the NFL.

Allow me explain. The Cubs play baseball in the Windy city of Chicago at 1060 West Addison, the venerable Wrigley Field. (Elwood Blues does not live there). They went 108 years without winning at the championship level until three years ago in 2016. But Wrigley Field stayed a hot ticket all those years the Cubs cried about about that epic drought. The games broadcast on WGN, the merch sold like hot cakes and with no need to really improve the product because people came anyway, the owners were practically printing money in the dugouts. There were valiant efforts, of course, and on more than few occasions the team had a loaded roster and won many games but just couldn't bring it home, which only endeared them to their audience more.

Sound familiar?

The Dallas Cowboys are the number one brand in the NFL, far and away. The next three in order are : The Steelers, the Packers, and whoever is winning this season. Seriously. And like the Cubs, the fans are still talking about the last championship twenty five years ago and every flash of brilliance is met with the phrase "We're going to the Super Bowl!" They win just enough to make you mad. The team seems to keep a loaded roster, draw more primetime eyes than any other team in the league and JerryWorld may as well be a cathedral to the sport. It also stays packed. To the rafters.   

Sound familiar?

But for the Cubs it wasn't until they changed coaches in 2014 that things started to fall their way. With Ron's departure in Carolina, and Garrett's contract up at the end of the season, will the Jones boys get the hint? The players are frustrated, as are the fans. We lost to the Jets. I mean damn. (Okay, Philly lost to the Dolphins, but we can't count on that every week. LOL.) The Cowboys lucked into a season where everyone in their division but them are rebuilding or (also) struggling, so they're still driving the bus of their own destiny. And with the pieces they've assembled, they've got a shot at doing something great in the next few years. But not with their current head coach, who may get the un-coveted Marvin Lewis designation this off-season if things go wrong...for the fans.  

Dallas Fans waiting on the Jones Boys to get it right.

And this choke-hold on that branding spot and all the associated perks means the incentive to win a championship boils down to ego on the part of the owner.

Barkeep. If you could put a bottle of the Pappy Van Winkle aside for later, that would be swell. For now, vodka and OJ, two cubes.

So, this..

Ramblings Post #378
Find joy where you can. Find it in the warmth of the morning toast. Find it in the crisp of a cup of coffee. Find your joy in the morning jog, the desk for work, that traffic still irritates you for it means you care. Find your joy in faces of friends, in the smiles of children, in sunset. But not football, not if you're a Cowboys fan. 

Dallas has made painfully clear why last years swap of a first round draft pick for Amari Cooper was a good deal for them. Without a serious number one receiver on the field and healthy, there is no pressure to make defenses to slide back. Dallas is right back where it was last season before the trade, with defenses loading up the box and stuffing Zeke and the run game on sheer headcount alone. The offense that should put thirty-five up per game is bogged down. Along with a defense sorely lacking in confidence, to say that I am disappointed by the outcome of the Cowboys-Jets game is an understatement.

The fucking Jets?

I am certain that Shannon Sharpe and Stephen A. Smith are having a grand old time with this. Despite losing by a less than three with a missed field goal on the books - and we cut Dan Bailey - it won't matter. A loss by one counts the same as a loss by four touchdowns. And despite the division being weak and still sharing the lead, things don't look that great going forward. Better teams have to be faced in the coming weeks, and this turn of events...the inability to proceed minus a key player...does not trend well. At this point even Jerry Jones has admitted the team isn't as elite as we all thought it was. Good? The personnel alone make it good, but elite teams find a way, and we're still looking at the GPS.  

The fucking Jets?

I'm firm believer that on any given Sunday any team can be any other team. The football doesn't bounce straight, and neither do the circumstances surrounding it. As much as we consider skill, injuries and and little tiny things like a missed tackle here, a blown assignment there, a bad read and suddenly you're down (or up) by two scores. It happens. A lot of times the difference between a good team and bad team are just those moments. Elite teams keep those mistakes to minimum. And right now my Cowboys aren't doing a good job of that.


I had hoped that this was kind of long term strategy that learning the Philadelphia had lost and being unconcerned with the other two teams in the NFC east that the coaches had sat Amari because they figured the game didn't matter. He's been having foot issues so why not. But this is the NFL. All the games matter. And anything can happen. I like to think we're better than this. I would sincerely like to have the Cowboys prove it. 

The fucking dog-ass Jets?

Barkeep, I need the strong stuff. The 151. No chaser. I need to sweat this out.

They're playing basketball....

Ramblings Post #377

This post should be about the impeachment "inquiry", but it's not. This should be about the latest goings on at the Ranch, but it's not. This should be about my terrible diet as of late, but it's not. This should be about why I haven't posted in a month, but it's not. This should be about what TV shows I'm watching and my take on them, but it's not. This should be about the Cowboys - who are still going to win the Superbowl - but it's not. This should be about Sporty, but it's not. This should be about gearing up for a write my ass off this November, this time for sure, but it's not. So, what is it about? The WNBA. Why? Because. 

I watched part of a game of the WNBA championship last week. I was flipping through some channels and came across it, and sadly, like it was a meeting of high scoring Division III rivals. It promised to be exciting, but only if you were aware it was happening. That I was not aware, or that it didn't seem to be a prime time event was also clear. But many years past, in the long long ago, my high school girls basketball team won the state championship and the school had buses to the games and everything. Those ladies could ball, I kid you not, and that game was exciting. So, in memory of them I sat down and watched for a while. 

First, is the camera angle different in the WNBA, or are the fellas just that much bigger? When I watch an NBA game, which I do from time to time, the players seem proportional to the court. It's more than likely that it's because I'm used to how it looks. The men's game looks familiar. By contrast, watching the women play the court looked huge if not enormous. It felt as though they'd stuck an extra five feet on both sides and along the length. And the angles of the shots seemed deeper, as though the camera was positioned higher up, or maybe off to the side of where I normally expected it to be. Or maybe it's just that most NBA players are 6' 4" and up and the WNBA players are (mostly) six inches or more shorter.  

Then there is the actual game-play. And it could be just me again, but I think the NBA includes more isolation basketball. Now, while the three ball has migrated to the WNBA (and college, and high school and the mini basket on the trash can), that superstar single match-up game doesn't seem to have made the trip. Or it could have been the cameras. The women seem to have much more perimeter passing, less pick and roll and way less clear outs. Or maybe it just looked that way because of all the up and under layups. I mean, because the rim is still 10' I expected an increase in the number of layups, but there was much less jump shooting than I imagined. I was expecting sharpshooters, but the only time anyone consistently took a jumper was from three point land.

Other than those two things it was  just like I remembered. Dives to the floor, blocks, fast breaks and lots of hustling. Just "plain ole good ass we-in-it-to-win-it basketball. But it just felt different.     

Again, it's not that I've never seen women play sports before. Girls high school team won state champs, were more popular than the boys team. I used to watch Sporty play women's tackle football - full pads, full speed. So it's not that.

Or is it?

I need to think on this. Barkeep, can I get a lemon drop. Yes, I said a lemon drop. What's wrong with that?

The Breaking News is breaking us

This is a political post. 

How bad is it?

It's so bad that the Dayton shooting barely registered with me as I was still processing the El Paso incident. Two mass shootings in 24 hours? What are we doing?

I often wonder why some people seem to want to return to the days of the OK Corral, or rather what they imagine those days must have been like. In reality in most western townships and settlements the sheriff had folks turn in their guns when they got to town.  The people actually in the old west were well aware that guns were lethal and actually took steps to mitigate the issue, something we seem to have recently forgotten. And in this modern age rife with political demonization, personal overreaction and a complete lack of accountability this apparently deep seated need to add guns to the mix is just terrifying. But there it is. So here we are.

Again.

Again and again. Damn.

Just to be clear, Texas is an open carry state, and the people in Walmart at the time actually had their loaded weapons on them. There are multiple stories where an average citizen took their gun out in the face of danger. Still, the shooter in was able to kill 20 people and wound many others. I say many others because it is believed a number of people who were wounded simply left, fearful of their immigration status coming to light, which is a whole other conversation. But 20 people are dead in what clinically speaking was a perfect case scenario for the Good Guy with a Gun Theory for a safer America. And yet it failed. So could someone explain to me how it's supposed to work again? 

And the gunman in Dayton managed to kill nine people and wound almost thirty more even though the police responded less than a minute after the first shots were fired. That's faster than it happens in the movies. That's action hero timing. The only way a faster response would be possible is if the officers were standing right next to the guy. And yet nine lives were lost and nearly thirty injured. And had the response not been quite so quick, or ineffective due to the body armor of the assailant, the man had a hundred round clip loaded. What could have been is a terrible thought.

We've started the usual routine: incident, thoughts and prayers followed by the insistence that now is not the time to talk about it (I'd like for the record, what the appropriate amount of time is). And if anyone cares, I will be directing my thoughts and prayers to our legislature, in hopes they come to their senses. Please note, that as El Paso police sifted through the carnage and while people in El Paso were lined up to donate blood, our great leader took the opportunity to crash another wedding. So we're not exactly getting shining leadership here. But the rest of them, the what we assume should be semi-reasonable ones need to wake up and realize that the blame lies not with video games or mental illness, but with our current political and economic climate along with our lax gun laws. I doubt, no I'm pretty sure that this rising to the moment won't happen. We live in an age of un-accountability. 

We are A) the only country where this sort of thing seems to happen with regularity and B) refuse to to bring ourselves to do something about it. We seemed to be striving to the be the wild wild west of the Western world. We no longer live in the age of balance, only extremes. There is no nuance, only fevered outrage. Where are the calm voices and measured thinking? Our national question has become when will it be extreme enough to trigger a response from the willfully blind? Shooting up a church, an elementary school or a whole country music festival wasn't sufficient. So one has to wonder what will? And if nothing will, who are these people and what do we do with these fanatics?  

I still of the opinion we just do what they did in California. When the Black Panthers started openly brandishing machine guns, guess what the Republican governor (one Ray Gun Ronnie Reagan) immediately decided need to be banned?

Trafficans...

Rambling Post #369
This should be a racy post, with the number on it and all that. But not really, because I'm a mature individual with goals and responsibilities. I have deeper thoughts, higher functions, and something real to say in world that has become increasingly trivial. That and I really didn't know that was going to be this number when I started writing. Oh poo.  

I am of the opinion, that in this world where there are people who take great pleasure in dressing up like stuffed animals and people who jump off buildings for fun, that there exist people - in Atlanta if nowhere else - who go out and get into traffic just because it's just so damn great. I call these lonely people who get on 285 at 6:45am and cruise at 53 mph until around 9am or so Trafficans. I used to believe that a combination of rain, hot asphalt and atmospheric anomalies created temporary driver mirages which slowed down the cities main transit routes, but that was crazy talk. Okay, I couldn't get the grant to study it. But this idea, this makes sense.

On the route I take in mornings there is no wavelength I can attune to, no regular traffic pattern that I've been able discern. Some drivers appear to be cruising along without a care in the world, a light changing to green merely a suggestion that forward motion might be acceptable. It confuses them. Or the slow driver who wants to leave a huge gap between them and the car in front of them, as though they don't realize that the lights are timed to allow X numbers of drivers through, and driving slowly reduces that number and is WHY WE HAVE TRAFFIC. Okay, maybe the 5000 cars on a road designed to support 1000 has something to do with as well, and the badly designed city plan that lets you add another 800 apartments to an already congested area contributes.... but the slow driving certainly isn't helping.

And the sad part is that this is now Summer in Atlanta, and by that I don't mean we have special calendar that gives us extra days of hot weather (I wish). I mean that school is now out, and that means that traffic should be dying down -- something about taking kids to school or buses or bad grades or something. But it doesn't appear to be happening. Which is why I'm blaming Trafficans!

You're lonely and at home just bored out of your mind. But you've got a car and quarter tank of gas and feel the need to make a left turn in the middle of the block where there is no light during rush hour, may I suggest you invest in a Netflix account. Sure you feel like a smidgen of human interaction will just make your day, but you're not interested in a $23 cup of coffee and the idea of just walking for a bit is crazy talk, but dude, I have things to do! Like important stuff, like...um, get fried chicken. Or wings. Alright, I was going to get some comic books, but that's my business. What I don't need is your ilk on the road. Stay home Traffican!

Barkeep. I'm driving. No snide remarks, safety first. So make sure the lid is on it nice and firm. Thanks.   

The Mueller Report -- or -- How to Look Shady as Hell Without Trying

This is a political post. 

After two long years of waiting, the weekend that March Madness started and Duke nearly got knocked out before the sweet sixteen, the investigation into if the sitting President of the United States colluded with foreign agents was completed. The conclusion? We don't know yet. We don't know because the Justice Department won't release the completed document. The newly appointed Attorney General has produced a four page summary of the three hundred page report suspiciously fast, and said report in his opinion indicates there was no collusion. Honestly, 99.9% of us still don't know what the report actually says.

Now, a number of indignant conservative pundits and legislators want to believe we do, although at this point we have what at best might be considered the Cliffs Notes version, more likely a Wikipedia stub entry or at worst a confederate version of the history of the war between the states. That the Attorney General then indicated that the person who was the object of the investigation will get to see it - and edit it - before any of the rest of us just keeps making the whole thing look less and less legitimate.

And the powers that be, those powers that we are investigating, just don't care what we think. 

The law, for those who don't know, is a funny thing. Open to vast interpretation. You know what I mean. Think about how you can watch on video an officer clearly be seen doing X or Y action that obviously shows that they broke the law, but that same video when viewed by a friendly prosecutor the action somehow fails to rise to the level of prosecutable offense. This is one of those moments, only on a national scale. We have all sat here, listened and learned of meetings with foreign agents not reported and then lied about, clear and convincing conflicts of interest, and of business dealings with foreign agents not disclosed. Yet we're supposed to believe the report yields nothing even of intrinsic value? The police have investigated themselves and found they did nothing wrong, and no you can't see the evidence. Here we just substitute the word 'government' for 'police.'

Barr's interpretation of the evidence and if it rises to the level of collusion is plainly suspect. And now that we know the summary he produced now looks more like a 30 second synopsis of a 26 hour Ken Burns documentary only raises more questions. And if the pool of people who can see the raw evidence is limited to those who feel that the investigation was a waste of time, this begins to look like even more collusion. That Cheeto was okay with releasing it, but his hand picked people want it edited first gives rise to the idea that the truth only those pages may get more than a few more folks locked up. And the inane assertion that Congress can't see the raw evidence when there are sitting members of Congress with top secret clearance is pure 'shuck and jive.' A government of checks and balances under this administration is no more.

We need to do better. The treatment of this investigation is part of, and maybe the culmination of a continuing degradation of the truth via the assertion that opinion outweighs facts, a theme that began day one when Cheeto swore his inaugural audience was the largest ever and has gone on to become this administration's stock and trade. That they expect half the country to believe whatever they say despite their long track record of half truths, deception, deflection and out right falsehoods is laughable. That the other half this country is happy to go along with this farce as long as that they get to impose their beliefs on the first half is just frightening. 

This is why voting is important, and why everyday the Democratic establishment appears to pin it's hopes on reason and common sense winning out seems more and more like a pipe dream.

We live interesting times. I really wish we did not.

Things I'm not gonna talk about

Ramblings Post #364
I seriously did not even realize it had been that long since I posted. Work has been ugh, social life has been ugh, diet has been ugh, and I just need something new to kick start whatever comes next. I would say I'm having a mid-life crisis, but I can't afford it. But I know something needs to change. Maybe I need a massive overhaul. 

It's been since January? Damn. 

Life seems to be in awful hurry lately. Was it just five years ago that the world seemed to be, maybe slower? I had time to digest things, to research the headlines to see what was really going on. To put together coherent discussions about what was happening. Now? I'm still writing these things, but by the time I've sat down and started looking into the details of something, so I don't sound like an idiot,  I'll be damned if something else doesn't come along. And since I have like, a job, and want to leave my house on occasion, taking the time for this type of timely commentary is much more difficult.

So here is a short list of things I'm not going to talk about. Really. Not going to say anything about this here because I just want you guys to be aware that I am paying attention, I'm just keeping my mouth shut.

R. Kelly - who is his attorney and why would you let him go on TV? I know clients don't listen, but he has to know that he's in a situation where if he's emotional it will be used against him and if he's cool and collected, it will be used against him. And where does all the money keep coming from to get his ass out of jail?

Cohen - I always thought that people who get called Rats are called Rats by people who are doing something worth Ratting on.

The Cowboys - So, we don't want to pay Cole Beasly or Earl Thomas, and defensive monsters Randy Gregory and David Irving just smoked themselves out of the league. And we got no first round pick. Insert Heavy Sigh.

Manafort - Seriously. A good person? Does the judge hang out with the Dallas defense? The man's entire livelihood before the election was fronting for dictators. This good folks is why you vote - because we need people who will appoint smarter judges.

Mueller - Sadly despite what will surely conclusively damning evidence, our current President is at the level of Louisiana politician. The only way he'll lose supporters is to "catch him in bed with a dead woman or a live boy." [see Edwin Edwards]

Atlanta Weather - I'm totally in the wrong here, but damnit I miss that drought.

Democrats - Seriously, is every-fucking-body running for President? I know it's early, but damn. And will Democrats wise up and realize that even if your favorite drops out you still HAVE TO vote for whatever Democrat is left. Period, full stop. The moment for holding the party hostage to get relief for own special interest can come later. Seriously.

LeBron - I should have said the Lakers, but really, who else on the team is there to talk about? I wonder if when he arrived he was under the impression that Magic and the rest of the front office would let him just take over?

Megan Markle - No seriously. I got nothing. Hope the baby is healthy.

Florida Spa - Who knew that one little tug would unearth so much dirt? Billionaires who should have supermodel girlfriends - or at least Instagram model girlfriends paying for towel service? And now we find out the founder of the Spa watched the SuperBowl with Cheeto? Not that his supporters care, but damn.

This stuff, this right here, I got nothing to say about it. Nada. I'm just not going to take the time the energy or the effort to put together anything on these because by next week no one will care. They should, but by then our dear leader will have tipped over a brand new hornets nest.

Obama's biggest scandal was the tan suit. Man I miss those days.

Barkeep. Can I get a...you need to see some ID? Dude, I used to come in here all the time!

Wither mine 2K

Ramblings Post #356
I like gaming. I first started gaming on a PC, long before consoles were a big thing, with a game called Cannons. You estimated wind and powder needed to shoot the cannon on the other side of the valley. It was thrilling at the time. At this point if the game is well put together I'll give it a try. At least that's my excuse for Dwarf Fortress, as it is very well put together. But because I'm not totally cerebral, I also enjoy the occasional console masterpiece. Or I did. The more things change...

My affection for the company that produces the better console basketball simulation is long gone. What was a fun little setup that allowed you to live out your NBA superstar fantasies has become a near naked annual digital shakedown. I'm a realist, and I am fully aware that games are not charity or community work and that companies need to turn a profit. I am also fully cognizant that stuff that used to be part of the game is now sold as DLC, as well as this newest development of planned accelerated obsolesce.

As you may know, I'm a Playstation guy. Not that I have anything against XBOX, but I kinda do. Not the point. But my unit was one of the older models with a paltry 500 GB hard drive. It sounds like a lot, and it was when your average game was 35-55 GB. But as the games get more complex, the sizes have also grown, the next big thing - Red Dead Redemption 2 - was supposed to be coming in at 105 GB. I understand now it's just 88 GB, but that's still pretty damn big. It would, er, it will take up almost 20% my hard drive. But my drive was over 90% full. Which means something had to go.

Or did it?

A conversation with the guy at Gamestop, they are actually good for something, kicked off a little research and I eventually stumbled upon a Playstation upgrade kit. At Staples of all places. (Amazon has one too, same kit.) With that in hand it took me a short half hour to switch out the smaller drive for a larger one. I had properly backed up my games - use the backup feature if you do this, don't just save your game files like so many YouTube videos say, otherwise you leave out your settings, backgrounds, and your saved highlights. It was after I reloaded the games when I discovered the issue.

Now, I still have 2K15. I like 2K15 because I play Career Mode and the this is the last one free of much of the dramatics of the modern iterations. Just a touch of story: you start on a 10 day contract and play your way into the league. It eliminates the possibility of Rookie of the year or the Rookie all-star game, but it's still a pretty fair little deal. I understand the new 2K has you start in China and go through the developmental league. Ugh. Why they don't go back to the All-Star game play-in sequence from 2K12 I don't know. Or why with every new year you have to start over instead of letting your character continue like in The Show. In any case, I'd played my first half a season - and I play the full 48 - and my character had become a hot commodity. I was in the midst of a 2 year deal, the league's leading scorer, clocking some endorsements and my team was first in the division.

So I'm checking to make sure it's all back. I had a ton of Witcher 3 DLC, but since it was all free why wouldn't I? My Mafia 3 game picked up like I hadn't even turned off the game. Baseball, sword fighting game, WWII bomber game etc., were all good. I start 2K on my new drive and ...to play my saved 2k game, which I played off-line after they took the game servers down, and my system says it needs to connect to those now non-existent servers.

Yeah.

Now, when I bought the game the servers were still up. Yes, I've had it that long. And after the shut them off I actually restarted. Now after switching out my hard drive, I have to restart a third time? For like serious - serious?

I really don't want a My Career game scripted by Spike Lee, or starting in China, or whatever. It's shame that modern gaming has devolved from "getting what you paid for" into "getting what I want you to have until I need you to buy some more product." If 2K just created a cap out patch every time they shut down the servers for a previous iteration, allowing you to keep what you paid for, OR sold a side DLC that let you import a previous character or league with all the accumulated stats into the latest version I would be fine with their business model. I might even be cool with buying the new versions. But this just feels wrong. It feel exploitative. And since I'm the one being exploited, it's extra not good.

May have to check NBA Live and see what they've got to offer. After I've played Red Dead Redemption 2 for a while of course. 

Barkeep, I'm need my saddle and my gear. It's almost time to ride out. And whiskey neat while we're waiting.

Have I got a bargain for you!

This a political post. 

"I may be wrong, I mean I may stand before you in six months and say, 'Hey I was wrong.' I don't know that I'll ever admit that, but I'll find some kind of an excuse."
~ Cheeto

Are we sure that Cheeto was even on television? I mean, the production of a television show is usually a long process, involving an enormous numbers of steps: multiple meetings, pitches, development, staging, revisions and rewrites, editing, etc. Does he know that? Are we sure Cheeto ever did an actual business deal? Usually a large business deal, especially one that involves millions of dollars, involves enormous numbers of steps: multiple meetings, evaluations and reports, negotiations, legalities, etc,  before anything can be squared away. Or did Cheeto just watch a lot of television? Because on television redoing the floors in you living room and kitchen take thirty minutes and you can fire the board and take control of the company simply by yelling it angrily in dramatic lighting. In real life, redoing the floors takes days and you can't even do the second. And on television, sure you can defang a brutal dictator of a repressive state armed with nuclear threat in one meeting if you can scrounge up three pounds of fresh crab meat, a two way mirror, fifty feet of fishing line, some dry ice and one of those Mission Impossible face masks.

Cheeto wants us to believe that he's solved the North Korea issue that has lasted 60 years in ONE meeting. They're no longer a threat he announces. This from a meeting which produced a "comprehensive agreement" that is all of ONE page that entitles the parties to a free ice cream, no, wait...um, to meet again? That's it? The man who paid someone to write the Art of the Deal sat down with a kid and got no guarantees of nuclear disarmament, no process to get there or even a framework, no timetable on the non existent process, no agreement to how an agreement if one is reached would be verified, no concessions, essentially nothing. And in return... is easing off the military pressure by blindsiding an ally and then talking about lifting sanctions. For a promise from a country that practically specializes in deception. Cheeto likes Kim. Thinks he's a fine fellow. Did I characterize that right? I did.

In television terms he wants us to believe turned what should be...and will be...a three season arc or perhaps a whole series by itself into a B-plot of 30 minute episode. I don't even want to bring into that he did this on heels of asking for his boss, um, I mean, asking that Putin's Russia be readmitted to the G-7 before he shot our allies the deuces and broke out early. Then had the audacity to tell us everything was copacetic while the countries who stood with us against communism since World War II gave him the global side-eye. If the fate of the world wasn't at stake I'd think this was a remake of that James Franco/Seth Rogan picture, the one that set off the North Korean cyber-attacks. Wait, did they even discuss cyber-attacks at this meeting?

And now like a used car salesman he's telling you what a great a deal you got, that you don't need a warranty, and he's throwing in the floor mats for free. Damn his manager. This is fishy as hell. 

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that Cheeto gets along great with dictators and tyrants and continually pisses off our allies? If you voted for Cheeto, was THIS, all of THIS, what you wanted? Really?  

Just Cause 4 what?

Ramblings Post #350
It is a downright crying shame that in this day and age of insane visuals and renders in modern game play that I still spend the majority of my time engrossed in the not particularly visually friendly, always frustrating and constantly in need of a tweak Dwarf Fortress. My latest fortress has me trying to stave off mass PTSD (I"m trying to see if letting the dead bodies rot away before moving the remains from the battlefield minimizes the effects to the non-military dwarves). And yet I find doing that more stimulating than finishing up Just Cause 3, which I bought on DAY ONE. 

I actually tracked down a copy of Just Cause 2. Seriously. I went to like five stores in Atlanta to get one. And it is one of the greatest games ever built. A huge campaign area with vast highways, jungles, cities, villages and military bases to raid. There was the space ship launch facility, the night club in the sky, the mysterious island, a snow hill run, nuclear subs, and it just kept getting more and more over the edge. Okay, taking the campaign bases got repetitive after a while, but that almost became an afterthought as you traveled through deserts, swamps, broke naval blockades, leapt off mountains, ducked through cities, raced speedboats and flew jets. It was the kind of game that was just this side of perfect. So, when Just Cause 3 was announced I was sure that what they'd done was just worked out those last few kinks on their way to building something magical. 

Boy, do you want to talk about disappointment.

At first I was like wow, then I was well, then I was like waah! That last one is me crying. What came out was what happens when you try to be extra, but forgot what made the original (or in this case the second one) work so well. I'm not even sure if the makers understood what made it so great. Part of the joy of JC2 was the campaign was integrated into the play area, making it feel interesting. The map was expansive but made sense, the villains just enough but not too crazy. It felt organic. All that went away with JC3. The military bases looked like something out of a James Bond film, the troops seemed cartoon, the missions too long or just ridiculous. And while I didn't mind the arcade features of something like Far Cry 3, because they weren't integral to the gameplay, the number of times you go back and blow something up for "funsies" or to earn a new toy in JC3 ruined the immersion.

And the map. Lord the map. While yes, flying a jet from one end of Panau to the other in JC2 could take 10 minutes, but the map didn't feel too big. And there was always something to do there. In JC3, there are whole sections of the map with no bases, no villages, no hidden goodies, no...nothing. Maybe I missed something but damn. I finally just stopped playing, which has me messed up because now I feel funny starting anything else on the PS4 because the game isn't finished.

Which brings us to Just Cause 4. With tornadoes, and lush jungles and...just stop. My understanding is that JC3 was intended to be something else - a more social game online affair rife with micro-transactions and shared achievements. And then they blinked because that really isn't a Just Cause thing, or it tested poorly or something, went back and stripped all of the money parts out and we were left with...that. My question is, with JC4, did they go through with it this time? Because I can just replay Just Cause 2 again. Seriously.

Barkeep. Maybe I don't want to play a game with 400 of my internet friends, then what? My order? Can't you see I'm trying to unload some thoughts here? Obviously that means gin.  

So, We're doing this AGAIN? AGAIN! Ugh, whatever...

Ramblings Post #349
I don't follow the NBA like I used to. I used to know squads, coaches, and who could beat who based on which player had the advantage or whatever. Now I'm just like ugh, this again. I can watch a game or five, I know who the players are but I don't follow it follow it. And the Finals used to mean something. Before it got into reruns. 

First, let me say that the entire NBA Eastern conference should be ashamed that the Cavs are back in the Finals. It basically says that you can put together a team in mid-season, add in one or two top tier players and beat that whole half of the league. A half with theoretically at this point, good teams. A few assembled teams of potential hall of famers. Seriously. I mean, damn...the Celtics were so close. But the NBA Eastern conference needs wake-up call.

Don't be mad at me, it ain't like I made this.

And on the other side, the Rockets damn sure didn't make it easy. I kind of figured they might have catch the Warriors a bit overconfident or on a down night, and as such they came with it. That was good basketball. Right this moment however, there is just too much horsepower in that Golden State line-up that if there is the slightest misstep, that's all she wrote. Hey Rockets! Almost, but you gotta be quicker than that.

Which leaves us with this. Again. Warriors vs. Cavs. Like damn. I mean the sports journalists have to be pissed about this shit. Content-wise you know that they're scraping the bottom of the barrel here looking for those fresh puff pieces to pad out the series hype. They're about to start talking about second cousins and high school friends. I at one point hoped for a completely fresh Rockets-Celtics match-up, just to keep things interesting, but would have settled for a Warriors-Celtics battle. Anybody but the Cavs.

No, I'm not a fan of LeBron now that you mention it. But if you've been here before I think you know that. 

Now to be clear, off the court I understand he's an exemplary individual. Charitable, happily married, good to his kids, invests wisely, not a gambler, doesn't eat pizza with a fork, not a horrible actor, all those things that might make one remark that hey, he's okay fella if asked to comment. Let me not impugn the man's character or savvy. On the court however, if you took a drink every-time he looked at the ref for a call you'd be blitzed midway through the second quarter. It's that he's one of the best, if not the best, on the court right now but he still needs even more an advantage outlook that just irks me. I don't think any ref in the game who values his ability to blow a whistle would let anything bad happen to Bron-bron. He is entirely too valuable to the league as a whole. So knowing this, and you know he knows it, why ask for even more?  

I guess the big question is if this particular cast of background players can support the King while he tries for glory against the NBA's best current super-team? I guess it could be a question. I mean TV is going to need an angle. Not to disparage the abilities of people who get paid huge sums of money to play basketball (Yes, that is a touch of jealousy in my voice.) And while Finals parties are a thing of yesteryear at least for my age bracket, something new would have been interesting.

Hey, at least the undercards all got to seven games.

Yes, Bartender, I am grasping at straws here, work with me. Beer. What kind? Um, cold. 

Incoming!

Ramblings Post #336
I used to go to the best cookouts. Two hundred or so people, food that would run out in a half hour, a line for single bathroom, people drinking all the chaser for like no reason and girls who just needed someone to keep them occupied until the cute guys arrived. Ah, the memories. There really is something to growing up. 

The word fireworks doesn't quite cover it. The correct term is "munitions."

If there are any vets in my area who are suffering PTSD they have my deepest sympathies.

My neighbors really lit it up for the fourth. For a solid hour and a half they launched what must have been a lovely cross section of the entirety of the US military's impressive arsenal, the festivities sounding at times like a thunderstorm, then a volleys of gunfire (Steven Segal gunfire, not real gunfire), and having your position shelled.  Honest to god explosions. There is a scene in the movie Full Metal Jacket where the soldiers are resting in the bunker but the noise outside sounds funny, then suddenly they've grabbed their gear and are running as fast as they can for the slit trenches, preparing to lay down suppression fire. It was like that. My windows rattled.

When I wandered outside to see who was winning, the street was thick with the haze and smoke that comes from exploding a lot of things at the same time for a long time. And I think a few of the people had their displays set too low, as a few blooms went off while still below the tree line. Music was playing, in the dark children were granting them 'ooohs and aahhhs, and I could hear the yelling that comes from patriotic fervor, or too much alcohol  or a need for everyone to be impressed at their purchases. I went back into my house. I could still hear small explosions in the distance even after midnight as I tried to keep Vietnam movies from invading my dreams.

And I live in a pretty much all black neighborhood.

I've seen a lot of chatter online suggesting that the descendants of slaves (so, just to be simple - black people) shouldn't celebrate the 4th, because while the declaration did set off Brexit 1776, the notions espoused in it really didn't apply to everyone in that country yearning to be free. But then by that weird logic, the only people who should be celebrating it would be landowning white males, which would mean the way we celebrate would be the same - exploding things - but there would just be less demonstrations of patriotism.

Apparently women shouldn't celebrate, as they didn't get the basic benefits of being American, getting to own their own property or vote for 150 years after this grand declaration. And blacks faced  slavery and then legalized discrimination for the first 180 years since we pulled out of the BU, and things aren't so great now, so we have no reason to be happy either. In reality, when I think about it the words to "This land is my land, this land is your land" from my childhood, it really was more an expression of a idealized America, provided most of us stayed in our lane, than a realistic view of the United States. So, what exactly are we marginalized folks celebrating?

Well, for starters, I'm celebrating the country that I was born in, am a citizen of and that I live in. No, I'm not a closet nationalist or whatever term they're using these days (collaborator?), and although this country still has its many faults, problems and shortcomings* if you're not a landowning white male, it is still a fairly decent place to be in a world still rife with problems common sense should have handled years ago. I'm not necessarily celebrating America as it is today, but that idealized version of America I thought we'd have when I was a kid.

That I even have to explain this strikes me as odd now. Even those who are theoretically on the same side are so divided in their thinking.

Barkeep. A beer. Cold. No, it's just beer, it really doesn't matter.

*Faults and shortcomings being almost too many mention, including racism, sexism, injustice, poverty and the need to put cheese on everything. 

Any Given...oh, I see what you did there.

Ramblings Post #316

Stumbling can be a good thing. Sometimes that stumble can help you right yourself, help you spot flaws you didn't even know you had. Stumbling can occasionally lead you to new things and new ideas. This is figuratively speaking mind you. Literally it means you may have to get a really good pair of shoes repaired. 

This guy got a TV show?

I'm not sure who Bill Simmons is or why he has a show on HBO. I'm vaguely aware he worked for ESPN, or maybe batted third for the Piscataway Pit Birds like 15 years ago. He sounds like he used to do color commentary for Junior League golf or the Western Maine Curling association, you know, something like that. But I'm sure of one thing: His new show might be worth watching. Although Simmons comes across - and dresses exactly like - an extremely well-off suburban dad who just happens to have former NBA players and movie stars as neighbors, his first broadcast indicates one thing about the show that all other sports talk shows lack : the willingness show unsanctioned outrage. 

If you've ever watched a sports show you know only properly sanctioned outrage is allowed. For example, SportsStar X does something despicable - punches a baby, elbows a nun, posterizes someone's grandmother - and the sports reporters all express a kind of properly worded, carefully temperate anger at the situation. Or Team 55 makes a horrible play or executes egregiously poor sportsmanship, and cue the middle of the road even handed admonishment. Every so often a veteran reporter will quietly, but professionally, mention that they disagree with an official league action - doesn't matter which league - but that's about all the fury you might get. They can't bite the hand that feeds them. For all that access, big time sports reporting has become for the most part a PR wing of professional sports. Sports Radio is still kicking and screaming, thank god, but at the national level it's all rather bland. Sometimes PTI gets it, but mostly bland.

So flipping through the channels I spotted this new show, Any Given Wednesday, and stopped to see what it was. The first guest I saw, Charles Barkley was suitably feisty. But then Barkley once threw a man through a window, feisty is expected, although he's mellowed a bit to now we cheerfully refer to him as "a character." And then some reason probably having to do with a promise over drinks, Ben Affleck was invited to Simmons super fake looking living room set that looks like the house it would be would be in would be featured in Architectural Digest. Not real relaxed, fake relaxed. They joshed and joked. It was genial. Then, Simmons asked Affleck about Deflate-gate. 

It was like watching a Twitter meme explosion happen in real-time. Ben Affleck turned into the Boston sports fan nut that calls into the radio station to argue with the DJ - from his bedroom in his mother's basement, where he sleeps on Red Sox sheets under a poster of Larry Bird while wearing Boston Bruins PJs. He let loose in a rant that included shots at the league, the media, opposing teams and anyone else who might doubt that the Pats are greatest team ever and made it clear that this whole thing is based on pure jealousy. It was in a word, beautiful. And I didn't agree with a single thing he said. Not one. I am stunned that the show aired it.

Untethered from a sports network, and using no footage, the show might just be able to get away with poking holes in the polished front that is modern sports reporting. For a while. Right up until the leagues start "suggesting" their talent, former or otherwise, just not drop by. 

Until then, this might just finally be some good sports television.  

Barkeep. Next time, make sure they have beer. No, they need whiskey. And give him an hour.

Ayesha NO!

Ramblings Post #315
I'm not one to to try and go parent anyone, especially not anyone grown. If you're old enough to drink and get a light bill, then you're old enough to realize that actions have consequences. Consequences and Repercussions. A lot of people younger than me want to act like this is no longer true, like the idea of freedom means being free from the results of your actions. It doesn't. You reap what you sow. Unless you're a superstar athlete, in which case I'm sure we can work something out.

I still think the Warriors can win it all in a ONE game Championship.

Somebody get Ayesha's phone right now. Please. She about to eff' up the church money!

Look I'm not saying that some very improbable coincidental coincidences, if you will, appear to have taken place during this year's NBA finals. And I'm not saying that the league has no interest in seeing a seven game series between what is now it's old phenom versus its new phenom. And I'm not saying a little drama isn't good for the series ratings. I'm not saying a lot of things. But I AM saying that her making a statement about a league approved "fix" doesn't really play out well for anyone. Not her, not the hubs, nobody I can get an eye on.

 At the start of the series, Golden State was head and shoulders above the Cavaliers, and a sweep looked highly possible. The two stars were coasting, wait, they weren't even coasting they were on the bench resting, and the Cavs were getting run up and down the floor like the middle school kids playing at the Rucker. Adjustments were made and nothing changed. The Cavs won their home game, but then we kind of expect you win ONE at home. Then it looked like it was over. Only....the Warriors had just come back from three down in the previous series. So it is possible. So, never before, but now twice in one season? That Tyronn Lue, Cleveland's coach puppet, somehow has crafted something magical?

Um...

Look, LeBron is a great basketball player. Physically gifted, good hands, a sweet shot and with an eye and head for the game. But... for the most part when pressed he plays the game in real life like I play on 2K : How many fouls can I get called on the other team so I can play the scrubs? Maybe it's strategic, they used to call it "working the refs," so I understand it. In theory. But if every time LeBron looked over to the ref hoping for a foul, you had to take a shot of vodka, you wouldn't make it past the first quarter. It's become excessive and annoying if not a defining trait. It looks like whining. And it's irritating to watch someone skilled try to manipulate their way to even more of an advantage. Watching the game this less than sporting sportsmanship seems to have infected the rest of his teammates as well. We already don't have hand checking, like damn. I'm not saying that it maybe one of the reasons ratings are down, but then I'm not saying a lot of things.

The Cavs have hung around long enough to get their groove back. They're a good team, no doubt. But they shouldn't have had the opportunity. And now that they're rolling again, it's a one game championship, which is what the league tries avoid by having a series.

And someone tell Ayesha to relax. The Warriors look like the Showtime Lakers out there. Let Bron-Bron get his last little shot at this. The Warriors will be back in this "isht" for seasons to come if nobody gets the big head. 

Barkeep, let me get some beer. No, I'm serious. Just one though. Gotta watch my figure.