Your honor, we find the defendant....

This is a political post. 

I had this dream.

The Wisconsin Bar Association held a press conference and declared a mistrial in the Rittenhouse ....well, thing. Action, let's call it an action. I dreamed that the Bar Association as a whole had looked at the whole...action...and decided the obvious display of bias on the part of what is supposed to be it's referee was just too egregious and just decided to rescind his license effective immediately. Pretend he died they'd say. And if the world could just hold up, they take a month, let everybody settle down and then start over.

I mean, although I'm certain more than few in the region see the circumstances of what happened that night differently than I do, I would hope they would at least be affronted with how blatant this thing is getting.

But that's not going to happen.

It's almost like it's not understood that it was this type of action - one where the law is applied as one person sees fit in front of everyone, damn what you other people think - that sparked the demonstration that got us to the night that got us here. It's like a total lack of self-awareness. It's why now the National Guard is on alert for verdict. A few years of civil rights demonstrations, followed by a tone deaf incident leading to another demonstration and then another incident and we've...well, some folks... still haven't gotten the idea that maybe justice really needs to be blind. Or at least hold the cane, bump into stuff and pretend, real, real hard.

I'm going to be honest, I didn't think they'd get a conviction there. Just the demographic make-up of the region. Even without the prosecution bringing up Call of Duty, or rulings that suddenly Apple zoom is suspect or not being allowed to call the people the defendant shot 'victims.' The judge finds no issue with the defense calling protesters to rioters or looters, but go figure. People have looked at the judges past conduct and claimed that this is about par for the course with him. But someone should tell him THIS isn't the usual course, this is Augusta's older cousin. All the little personal quirks should have been left at the clubhouse.

I do find it odd that trying to get a murder conviction against a minor who crossed state lines, with a illegally acquired weapon, who then purposely went to an area where it was possible he might have to use that weapon, after publicly stating he wanted to do just that, would be a hard sell. I mean there are photographs and video. And even with the admittedly less than great witnesses, we would normally get there. As someone in the legal profession, the judges restrictions on Rittenhouse's previous statements, considering what we theoretically all learned in law school regarding state of mind, are a bit hard to swallow. But even if all of that were...even keel... I still just didn't see a conviction there. It's just that part of the country. I've read people swear that this clearly self defense. How I don't know, but they swear. These are probably the same people who don't see what Aaron Rodgers did wrong, but as I said, its that part of the country.  

What I didn't think was that the situation would look like this. Because although I'm aware the court has in essence followed the law in the usual manner, it feels like the judge has done everything but straightened the defendant's tie, patted him on the head and told him to show us all that pretty smile, because they won't let the bad 'prosecutor men' hurt him. And the idea that it even feels this way is wrong. 

I'm hoping for the best. Either way the verdict is not going to be liked. But the version I'm hoping for involves the incident/rights demonstration cycle at least getting a break. For a couple of weeks at least. 

Sigh.

Deja Voo....all over again

This is a political post. 

How are we HERE again? 

I have avoided writing about the Chauvin Trial.

As someone said on Instagram the other day, I'm just not up for anymore black pain and suffering. It is becoming a carousel that we can't get off for some reason and the longer we take the more dangerous the pressure grows.

I did catch snippets of the closing arguments. When his defense attorney argued that the framing of the prosecutors "completely disregards" what happened before Floyd was pinned to the pavement it brought back an old memory. After the riots in Los Angeles following the Rodney King verdict long ago, one of the daytime talk show people had an episode where they went down into the neighborhood and white and black people together. And I remember distinctly a young white woman standing up and trying to justify the beating Mr. King took at the hands of the police. She pleaded with the crowd to understand that "we don't know what happened before the video started." And an older white woman stood up, as young girl stood there repeating we just don't know and put her hand on the girl's shoulder. Her words were profound. She simply told the young woman that "there is nothing he could have done to have deserved what happened to him."

There was nothing that George Floyd did that day, or any other day, that deserved a penalty of death. Period.

And for the record, his medical condition and previous drug use should be no defense. The eggshell plaintiff rule should be in full effect here. I'm still amazed that the defense attorney characterized Chauvin as feeling threatened by the crowd, despite all the testimony and video showing otherwise. I'm not sure if he was expecting cheers as casually killed a man by leaning on his neck ..with his hands in his pockets. Threatened? I'm really not sure what was going through his mind. And frankly I kinda don't want to know.

Now, even if you don't believe in defunding the police (still a dumb name for a good idea) as many of the jurors indicate they do not, the concept of watching a man in custody being killed in slow motion, casually as it was, should move something inside you. I hope. As the prosecution stated, "To be very clear, this case is called the State of Minnesota versus Derek Chauvin. It is not called the State of Minnesota versus the police." The idea of bad cops getting away with it, time and time again, only undercuts the idea of the police as the good guys in the eyes of the public. And will eventually begin to increase the real, not just perceived, danger that officers face out in the field. This nightmare scenario has to stop somewhere, so why not here? Believe it or not, if you think about it, this actually is a pro-police prosecution.

And considering that during this trial we have experienced the deaths of Daunte Wright at the hands of the police just a few miles from where this trial is taking place, and Adam Toledo's death while his hands were raised as instructed. Meanwhile, another part of the same state a man who rams two police cars, assaults an officer and led the police on a chase with an officer hanging onto the side of the truck is taken into custody. I can only wonder what the difference in circumstances was.

I'm hoping for the best. Maybe we've woken up that continually granting ultimate power on an individual basis to people usually not vetted for bias or other dangerous tendencies probably isn't a good idea. I mean, the evidence should be clear here. Because if not, then I think 2021 is coming for 2020's Most Turrible Year belt. 

December 35th, 2020

This is a political post.

Is this just a holdover fate couldn't get on the schedule last year, or is 2021 gonna try to one-up 2020?

Following most election years, the final certification of the incoming president is usually a quiet affair. The previously announced and counted electoral college votes are brought forth in ceremonial boxes, re-counted in front of everyone and affirmed. I mean, we already watched the states cast them, can do math, so we know the outcome so there is little set piece. There is the occasional objection (democrats did object in the last election), but the ceremony proceeds with such regularity that most of us were not even aware of the requirement until this year.

That's them.

But after losing the election that seemed to take forever to count, refusing to concede, and getting 99% of his challenges for non-existent fraud thrown out (note that not a single lawyer when standing in front of judge argued fraud) and then getting caught on tape trying to Godfather a state officer to do him a solid, well, long story short let's just say this hasn't been a normal election. And since the Veep kindly informed el Cheato that he didn't have the power to pick which electoral college votes got counted, and declined to even try, things have gone even less well. So of course the orange one upped the ante and held a rally on the Ellipse to tell his rabid, and apparently constitutionally ignorant, followers to go down the lawn Capitol Building where the ballots were being counted and do something. And so they did.

It took a while but that old so-and-so from Carolina was exactly right. Under Cheato the Republicans have lost the Presidency, the House and as of this afternoon, the Senate. But instead of simply brushing themselves off and learning from their defeat they're...checks notes...storming the Capitol Building during session and making America look like a banana republic or backwater dictatorship to a worldwide audience. Yeah, sounds about right.

If this happened somewhere else we'd already be looking for a reason to invade. This is America, we're supposed to be the tsk-tsking as those less constitutionally created countries have things like this happen to them. This is supposed to happen over there, wherever there is. But that was then and this is now.

In the chamber of the House of Representatives furniture barricaded the door as security drew weapons and Congressmen put on gas masks. In the Senate the Veep was rushed out as protesters screamed through the doors. Senators were evacuated and somebody smartly grabbed the actual ballot certificates before rushing out. Broken windows, American flags thrown from the roof, protesters scuffling with police and later cavorting on the floor of the House screaming at the wind. Which is amazing because the Capitol building is a secure structure. Or it was supposed to be, except for the video of security opening gates and taking selfies with the rioters.

 

Yes. Rioters. Or Terrorists. Because the instant they broke through the security barricades in an attempt to incite terror in the hearts and minds of our elected officials they became the definition. Domestic, but still the definition. Yes, it's just that simple.

Curious I turned to Newsmax and OANN to see their coverage. As expected it took them less than a minute to pretend this was just a peaceful protest and respectful of the history despite images of people battling with the Capitol Police or hanging from the gallery in the House chamber. And they tried hard to compare it a hypothetical "Antifa" attack that they quickly assumed would have involved apocalyptic damage. Then as if taking a cue, on social media the type of people who watch these channels swore that the protests had be infiltrated by agents wishing to make them look bad. They asked that we ignore there t-shirts trumpeting revolution with the date just below, or the rioters screaming about how they were taking the building or intended to occupy it all night.

 

Because reasons. 

 

The saddest part is that no one will be held accountable for this. Well, in a stunning move Twitter did suspend Cheato's account for twelve hours, which has no doubt lead to a teeth gnashing rage that we'll all be spared from. That will be the long and the short of it. Despite the law, including ones that Cheato himself approved of, and despite there being hundreds of photos and by now hours of video, there is little likelihood of real punishment. That most of these terrorists are going to walk away from this free and clear is a different kind of appalling.

 

And you KNOW why.

And that's part of the problem. If we're going to be a country of law and order, it can't be law and order for just some people. The greatest country in the world can't be great for just a few. This day, along with the elections that turned Georgia blue was supposed to be the dawning of a new America. This would have been dawn, the inauguration more like fresh coffee or that first good stretch. But instead, because as it was so aptly pointed out this morning at the rally this is no longer the republicans versus democrats or conservative versus liberals, with all the machinations, footwashing and fawing by McConnell and the boys it's become Followers of Cheato versus Everybody who is not. Maybe karma will get them. Because I'm not even going to mention that I didn't see many Covid masks at all. But then the election is over. We weren't supposed to ever hear about it again. Remember?

This level of ridiculousness can't continue if we wish to remain America. Prosecution needs to happen. A lot of prosecution. If only to demonstrate we follow the law here. At all levels. And it's got to start with Cheato.

A Very Dark Comedy - Act 2

This is a political post. 

I'm wishing there was a way to just turn off the news for the next few days. I'm tired. I think most of are but it will continue to rage on until it's done. Which won't be the third of November. At the earliest. Most likely we won't be that lucky. And then the cleanup and dismantling of the wreckage that was this failed experiment in "not a politician doing politics" can begin. If anyone for one minute thinks the current administration is going to go quietly into the night, I've got beachfront property in Kansas you need to look at. 

But let's look at the latest travesty being propagated by the conservative minority - soon to be Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett. She is a perfect example of exceptional results for mediocrity. One expects nominees to be the highest caliber of jurist for our highest court. This as my law professor used to put it - America's Council of Wise Men (or People).But Barrett's only been a judge for three years. She has never argued before the court she's about to be a member of. Actually, she's never ever argued an appeal. No, wait, she's never even tried a case, and spent all of two years in private practice. And with that sweeping and august background and experience we're all supposed to be okay with this woman being one of the principles of law for this country for the next thirty years or so? 

The appropriate term would be "the nerve." 

She was so obvious with her disrespect for the process,boldly holding up her notepad to say that she didn't even need notes. In reality what she was saying was that the process was so rigged she wasn't even going to bother to pretend. And while her religious leanings and if she decides to live within it's confines is her own business, the real question is if she's going to make the rest of us live within it as well. 

To the people who say that that voting doesn't matter, to the kids who swore because Sanders wasn't the nominee they weren't going to support the Democrats, the middle class suburban women who just couldn't stand Hillary...well, I hope this is what you wanted. Because a direct line can be drawn from that frame of mind to this moment. Now, going forward we stand together or we're all going to suddenly have to find religion. Even if we don't want to. 

Apple vs the US Government

This is a political post.

I spotted in the news that Apple has decided to fight a court order to assist the government in unlocking an iPhone. This on it's face would be wrong, privacy and all that, except the phone belonged to the man who killed fourteen people at the San Bernardino County Department of Health, and may be instrumental in figuring out what happened. What you might call, mitigating circumstances. Even if the phone contains nothing, and that is a possibility, it behooves the investigators to check and be sure.

Then there is what the government is asking for, which Tim Cook seems to want to categorize as a backdoor, but when you look at it, probably isn't. I understand why they're 'standing' up to the government. In the hyper competitive business environment they exist in, they're in an extremely vulnerable position as the perceived luxury brand. Other firms can do what they do, and charge less for it. But, they can work there luxury hook by exploiting their also perceived existence as the one major tech giant who is NOT packaging and selling your personal data to make its profits. We're the good guys, do business with us! And Cook has mounted his argument the idea that this is a slippery slope involving phone security that we shouldn't start down.  

Only there is a problem. Technically, and since this really is a technical issue this is important, Tim Cook's argument is wrong. 

Now, let's be clear here, I believe in consumer privacy and would not want a backdoor or master key created which would allow someone to access my phone without my permission. Ever. And since this is the one phone the alleged shooter didn't try to destroy, there probably is little evidence here that might be useful. But even so, I think the government has a reasonable interest in the contents of the phone if only out of procedural and professional thoroughness. And maybe that Apple is being just a bit oversensitive.

Okay, to explain myself, when I say Tim Cook's argument is wrong its that he makes it sound like the government is asking for a backdoor to built into all future Apple devices so that they can access them when they need to, hopefully meaning only when they have a court order. But this isn't what the government is asking for. And Cooks more nuanced "actual argument" that the government would use this single copy of the software to reverse engineer their own master key...like they couldn't just buy a phone and do it if they really wanted to...is just hyperbole. Actually considering what they're asking for, they should have just requested an actual backdoor. It would be simpler.

You see, what the government IS asking Apple to do is to build a custom version of their 9.0 software to use on that single phone that disables two security features, but don't actually unlock the phone. The first feature the government is trying to circumvent is the auto erase after ten unsuccessful access attempts. The second part is the time required between entry attempts, which increases after five tries. What this will allow the government to do is essentially try every combination until they get it, a brute force solution. By the way, if the phone has an eight digit code it could still take years. Many, many hundreds of years. For some reason, Apple and Cook want to classify that as a backdoor. It's not. It's not even a particularly effective access tool. And the other weird part is, this requested version of software that might still take hundreds of years to work is only that little tiny bit of effective on this particular older model of the phone, not the newer products. A change in the architecture of the iphone 6 (which certainly also will exist on the iphone 7) makes this particular method which is already just about useless, the argumentative equivalent of railing against not giving a spoon to somebody hoping to empty the Atlantic. This particular technical question isn't even really a question going forward. Makes you wonder what this argument is really about.
  

Is this really a corporate defense of an unsettled privacy issue caused by advances in technology that the law hasn't had time to adapt to? As we go forward, and with our growing reliance on technology - specifically cell phones - we should be drawing bright lines where possible as to what can and cannot be searched without just cause. Only narrow slice of law doesn't really apply here. Is this an attempt to check the limitations of court powers on trade secrets and intellectual property? We already have legislation and precedent here. Maybe it's addressing a future collision of two areas of law that will only get worse as our lives get more intertwined with technology going forward? Striking a balance between the new services business model technology is moving towards with police power is important with regards to individual privacy, but I'm not sure this is the case to attempt to prove a point.  Or is it a marketing ploy to help polish the company image? Very likely.

Because this story still has a number of things which make the larger arguments seem like distractions, not legal thought abstracts.

What the government suggested was that the custom version of the software that Apple would have to build under the court order be constructed to only operate on a single device. It seems a smart compromise. But it's here that Apple raises it very real concern about reverse engineering on the part of the government for future use. Or it would been a real concern about their motives, if the government hadn't offered to let Apple create and install the software, KEEP THE PHONE, and then send their attempts to unlock it to Apple remotely. The company gets total control, and the authorities get the suspects data. But Apple said no. It could be that I'm missing something, but it sounds like the government is trying to be accommodating to industry concerns and just getting stonewalled on principle. I'm starting to kind of get the impression Apple wanted to call attention to this make a philosophical point. Which is weird.

Because our friend Apple uses a closed system, allowing only programs they have taken apart and approved on their company products. This will continue for the foreseeable future. Their products, as a default, track a sinful amount of your data. And so, the company that as a policy disables YOUR phone remotely for using third party repairs, now has the idea that YOUR phone and YOUR data are somehow now sacrosanct in the eyes of the law.

But apparently this idea only applies to the government and not the company itself.

One loathes to use the term hypocrite....but Apple is being a hypocrite here. Which undermines any grand philosophical point they might be trying to make. And while I applaud their effort, and the idea of individual privacy, they may have chosen the wrong horse to ride to glory here.

(Full disclosure: I have an Ipad. And I like it.)

Why Justice Scalia should scare us all

This is a political post. 

Justice Scalia, long of the legal tribe of elders of these United States, has seriously suggested during an actual case in front him that perhaps black students would prefer to attend “less advanced, slower-track” schools where they might feel less challenged. What year is it? It's as though a time machine malfunctioned and his brain is operating in 1959. He seems to forget that the person sitting next to him got into school under affirmative action and obviously did so poorly he only ended up on the highest court in the country. If nothing else Thomas, whom in the interest of full disclosure I despise, should take offense at the very idea that "blacks" want to be challenged less in education. What? Thomas just whispered "Yassur boss, dat dere shole do be right" in support of Scalia? I see.

That this case made it into a court room, much less to the Supreme Court (twice) is astounding. I find the claim of injury as a violation of the equal protection clause of the Fourteenth amendment extremely dubious unless she can show that but for race being considered as a factor she would have been admitted. I say dubious because once you get past her chosen school's flat top 10% automatic admission concept, the whole decision process with it's leadership roles and awards holistic approach gets more than a little murky. Does she have something like the exact admission chart slot with her name on it crossed out and the name of person of color with lower test and other merit scores filled in it's place? No? I see. So the plaintiff's argument boils down to, after failing to meet the automatic admission requirements for spot at the college of her choice that there is no way that many people of color could have earned through the merit system an bonafide admission, at least not before her, UNLESS they were helped by this system which threw in race. And that such a system is unfair.

Now under the rules a 3.6 GPA from Dirt Poor High will be viewed the same as a 3.6 GPA from Nice Neighborhood High, but once we enter the murk, what about the intangibles? I ask because I'm fairly certain of two things: first that DPH is predominately minority and NNH is not, and two at NNH that there are way more extracurricular activities and opportunities to get those sought after holistic puzzle pieces. NNH might offer internships, travel and access to culture that DPH just can't afford working with less resources. One of the flaws of the argument that only merit should be judged is that not all merit opportunities exist in every forum. Race, in an effort to correct all the other other forms discrimination which have ultimately caused the lack of resources at DPH, maybe the less than 'easy' fix for those missing holistic pieces. But no, she was treated unfairly.

Note: I think the school might be better served by instead considering not the student, but the graduated High School and it's level of resources during admissions, which might have the same effect of diversifying the student body.    

Anyway, the bottom line of the case is that people who are "tired" of affirmative action would like to see race as a factor in considering a person for, well really anything, eliminated. The old I-don't- see-color argument. The jeez, we've got a black president now, everything is equal, don't you get it? The redress of past injustices is done, although we still have clear cases of corporate and individual discrimination and rampant racial injustice as headlines in 2015, these are like 400 isolated incidents that don't expose a deeper core issue stemming from issues of self enforced segregation and other societal factors. No really, it's all good. USA! USA! 

Now, to be fair, these are people who believe affirmative action gives minorities not only access they shouldn't have, but somehow makes the whole following process, whatever it maybe, so much easier. Um, for the record it doesn't make anything easier, it just gives someone an opportunity that they should get but can't because of outside factors. And black detractors of affirmative action, like the aforementioned Justice Thomas, deride it because it makes their owned hard earned success suspect, even when they know how hard they worked. This is ingrained self hate, which speaks to a whole other issue about race in this country if the belief is that the mere existence of this program casts a taint on all achievement. Is the idea that black people are just PEOPLE so crazy?

Which is why Scalia scares me. Because his brain is apparently from 1959. When black people weren't ever going to be just people. And he's a Supreme Court Justice. 

And the Winner, by unanmious decision..

Let's just say here at the end, I'll appreciate what I've achieved because of the struggle it took to get here.

Ali. Victorious.

Yesterday at noon, my RP called and told me to check my damn score. He was a lot more interested in it than I was, me being more than content to wait until the list emerged at 4:30pm. Okay honestly I lacked confidence, after all I've been here before. But he was insistent, so I logged into the GA Bar Admissions website mentally prepared for bad news and already figuring out my finances to take the test yet again next summer.

Boom.

Passed. I think he hollered louder than I did. It's good to have folks who really care about you, and I had to fight to get off the phone so I could call my folks. Then I hit up Sporty, and then Spanky and the rest of my people.

Yesterday was a very good day. 

Once more, we dance...

Photo from boxing360.com

This is a picture you don't see often. It's the Greatest, the one and only Muhammad Ali after he'd been knocked down. It's the the last ten seconds of the fourth round of a fight against Henry Cooper. It was a fight that he claimed he would win in five. At the point this photograph was taken, things did not look especially good for him.

History will note that Ali did win that fight in the fifth round.

Ding.

That was MY bell.

Welcome to the Wild Wild East

This is a political post.

I went out a few months ago to a friends birthday party at a little spot called the Buckhead Bottle Bar,
which looked a lot more impressive in the photographs. That and the waitress took so long I thought she had to drive to the liquor store to get the alcohol for my drink. Okay, maybe I'm a little old for that spot, but the news today suddenly brought back a memory of that evening. Aside from the look I got from the doorman, I had to submit to a pat down before entering.

Normally I don't do a spot that has to pat you down. It generally means the people running the spot know that their crowd has a tendency to get ornery, which really isn't conducive to a good night out at my age. As such, I paused at the door and asked him if it was "like that" in the establishment. He indicated that no, it wasn't, but due to the liberal gun laws in my state of residency, guns had become more prevalent than ever. He informed me that even the nicer restaurants, the places that look like movie backgrounds, are festooned people packing personal weaponry.

Where have I been?

Now I realize that there is a little town just outside of Atlanta that requires gun ownership (strange how conservatives didn't scream that government mandate violates any rights, now isn't it?) but the city of Atlanta proper and all it's associated city-lites aren't crazy dangerous. Are they? I mean, I live in a theoretically sketchy part of town, and I don't feel the need to be armed. It's not like I'm stumbling across bodies in the street on the way to the grocery store. I can leave the house after dark, just like in most of America, so I'm confused as to why Governor Deal felt the state needed better protection for dealing with roving bands of ...I'm guessing ghosts, here.

I mean, do the people in Buckhead, Brookhaven and Vinings need to walk around ready for a High Noon showdown? Or do teachers need rifles to hold off the natives until the menfolk get back from the fields? Because we live in the 21st century. At least I did.  What I find most disturbing about the bill is the specific inclusion (revisions of section 1-5) that removes the prohibition allowing guns into places that serve alcohol, because I like to think we're all fairly sure that alcohol impairs judgement. Am I to understand that drinking and driving is bad, but drinking and guns are okay? Apparently there is some study somewhere I missed that indicates alcohol does not impair judgment if you have a gun on you. Probably NRA sponsored.

This is really just an expansion of GA's Stand your Ground Law, which rests on the principle of allowing a person (usually not a minority) to shoot someone whom you feels threatens you in any place you're allowed to carry a gun. This expands the area you can legally carry one. Since we're now adding alcohol to the mix, I can uncomfortably predict this will not end well. A few drinks, an argument and suddenly everyone swears they're the hero in a Quentin Tarantino film. As the default threat - i.e., a black male - I find it more than a little worrisome. Here's to hoping I'm Django.

There was NOT supposed to be a round three....

It was supposed to be a first round knockout.

But you missed a punch somewhere, and the bell rang and they were still standing. You knew when it
happened, you could feel it, the absence of pressure in your arm from failing to connect, the glove connection missing, but you'd pressed on because this is what you'd trained for. You were supposed to get that little sensation again and again, over and over to let you know you were on the right track. But you knew you'd missed and hoped for the best, pressed on because one punch isn't supposed to count. But sometimes it does. So you put that behind you, and started the again.

The bell ending the second round caught you by surprise.

That round you'd felt more confident, the punches flowing from your arm as natural as breathing, the  power of muscles crackling along your sinews. It was supposed to be over now. You knew this stuff or at least thought you did. The punches had landed you were certain. You whole body tensed as you let each one go, uncoiling with power and follow through. Brain cells fired, muscle, motion, speed, contact. You could sense the idea of victory with each passing second.

Now, suddenly,  you can taste blood in your mouth that you hadn't before. You realize the punches you thought you had ducked must have landed, caught the corner, nicked you, stunned you. And maybe you didn't even realize it. Maybe you'd gone down and hadn't felt it. Why hadn't the jabs worked? The left and the right must have been too slow. You take a second to run your tongue along your teeth and confirm that they're all still there and not loose. The buzz in your ear, the crowd, sounds different, as if they've lost faith in one they once imagined could be a contender. There is a sudden stabbing pain in your ribs as the adrenaline you've been living off fades into nothing, and all you've got left is the burning need of your success and the fortitude to keep going. 

This round wasn't supposed to be here.

No matter.

You keep punching. You will win. 

Ah, Jury Duty

Notes from the Jury Assembly Room
Stuck in a room with a large number of people you don't know enduring a task that is both mind-numbing and publicly important. No, I'm not talking about going to a sporting event for losing team, which I did once...or twice...several times actually, for several hours (because the tickets were free). That and waiting patiently for my BBQ ribs. Both are public and civic duties. 'Murica! No, I'm talking about a real duty of the public, ala Jury Duty, where it turns out we actually are the peers who are going to get to judge somebody. It is so not the drama. 

Monday was Jury Duty, that vast public service that holds us all in the grip of fear. A missed day of work. A day sitting in a room waiting to be called for...something. I had hoped that next to my name would pop up a little symbol that said "Not him, anyone but him" in the county computer. Actually, I should have been happy to serve, as I'd deferred my previous Jury Appointment which had luckily been penciled in as the day prior to the summer bar exam. The people from Juror Services had understood for some reason. Go figure.

I've actually only gone down for Jury Duty once before, as opposed to ringing up the juror contact phone line to check my standby status and being thanked for my willingness to serve. I've done some work at the courthouse, so I knew it's the same room from all those years ago. And last time I was in that room, there were little tables along one wall for laptop users. Think about, it's Jury Assembly, not the jury room! They know you're going to waiting, so they try to make it nice. Nice-ish. All those years ago I had been upset because I didn't have my laptop, so this time expecting to get a little work done I took it. AND damned if the little tables are gone, and not even some chairs.  Oh, the outlets are still there, but the tables are vamoose! Genius! But, they've got what looks like some old library tables on the other side - you know, the old long wooden ones that look like unimaginative dinner tables - and some cheap four seat cafe tables. And one outlet. No, I lie, if you look over by the kitchenette, there are two more behind the stacked stuff. And the room seems smaller too.  I realize things are tough...but oh my.

For that transgression, I had hoped that if they had called me I would have walked into the courtroom and recognized one of the attorneys. Or the judge. Or the person on trial. And there would have been a momentary situation where we just look at each other like in the movies,  I kinda half smile and give them the thumbs up on the low, which in turn would lead to some hilarious TV hijinks that require an ancient laugh track and where in the end we strike a blow for justice that somehow involves banana creme pies in evidence. In reality, any of those situations would immediately get me struck from the pool. But ah, a man can dream. Okay, what I actually hoped was that my house didn't get broken into (the first time I'm out of it for more than a few hours in a while), and that I would get to spend an uneventful day of not getting picked and playing the occasional video game. Okay, the recognize the lawyer thing and getting removed might have been a gas too. Either or.

We got the floor show, as a judge came out and answered all our questions for like a solid hour. Then they started the calls, which got to be annoying as each time they started you would begin to pack up...and then she'd finish at which point you'd have to unpack again. Just so you know, in Atlanta proper, if you're called to Jury Duty you're name is already been picked to be on a jury. We had five or six trials that day, and they called enough for folks for five or six trials. They may randomize once you check in, but you start the day pretty much on a jury. Where the drop offs come is when the cases settle on the eve of trial, one way or another. After they'd called three groups (roughly 145 people) they called a list of names and told those people to be back after lunch. The remainder, of which I was a part, was thanked for their service.

So I went and got me a nice salad. Went home and put in some online applications. Stared at the walls for while. Thought about stuff. And things. Not a bad day. 

I have done my part. I have served. AND I got my voter registration card the same day!

And Now...We Wait.

Ramblings Post #228
Goals are bad, milestones are good. I've said this before and I'm saying it again, because I woke up Thursday morning a little confused as my purpose. I'd spent so much of the last thirty days getting ready for the big event, it took me a few minutes to realize that it was over and I needed to move on to what was next. As soon as I remembered exactly what that was...

Just Chilling.

Ah law school, the memories. One of the defining things about Law School, to me, was that wait to get grades. Sometimes as long as a month, the time allowed a prof to soak in the subtle nuances of your writing and understand what you were getting at, even if you failed to remember the exact terminology.  That it also meant the concept of passing or failing hung heavy over Christmas Break whilst you tried to yuletide your Holiday season was an inconvenience. That it also meant that grades came out after add/drop was merely an added bonus headache.

Alas, I have graduated, have the framed degree on my wall and that was to be no more!

Unless you count the Bar Exam.

My second passing through the gates into the dark rapids went a little smoother than the last. Although I'm sure I got at least two wrong that I had right, because I went back and changed the answer, I still feel better about this one. This time the writing was right up my alley and the questions didn't feel forced.

Now comes the hard part. The waiting. Months of feeling confident and alive only to one distant afternoon you'll have to find out if all your efforts have been worth it. And in my case, again. But you can't focus on it, like you can't worry about the questions you suddenly realize the answer to as you walk into the parking lot afterwards. That happens to every law student inevitably. No, you got to do what everyone does..."pretend you passed and keep it moving." I'm taking a minute to decompress, to do some house work...then I need to find a paying job. Maybe even get this law career going. Hopefully a judge somewhere needs a clerk. I need somewhere to be obsessive. I think better when I get to be obsessive a little bit each day. 

Barkeep! Ah, there you are. Bourbon with a splash of branch water on the rocks.

It's 106 miles to Chicago....

Notes from the Law Desert - Part 8 ( and hopefully the last one! )
Crossing the Burning Sands. Maybe I'm not quite on a mission from God, but I also don't believe they're gonna have to call out the Illinois National Guard to catch me.

That's it kids. Zero hour. Game time. Kickoff. Here we go again. It's a 106 miles to Chicago...

I'd like to tell you all that I'm super ready, as I know what I'm getting into, and that I'm ready to put the pedal to metal and keep my foot to the floor. But maybe fear of the unknown is better in this situation. Cockiness does not work well in this situation.

I'm up early to eat and make sure I've got the three things I can take in the exam room with me ready, to a quick paranoid re-read of a subject or two, just in case, maybe say a prayer or fifteen, just because, and make sure I can get there with no trouble.

At least I won't oversleep. That's something. Isn't it?

Notes from the Law Desert - Part 7

Notes from the Law Desert - Part 7
When you join one of the historically black fraternal organizations, the process is called "Crossing the Burning Sands." It's supposed to mean that your willingness to undertake this journey represents your commitment to the organization. In legal terms, your willingness gives them consent. Which means that being unable to leave the testing room for any reason does not qualify as false imprisonment, even though we are aware of the confinement, and usually object.

The details. That's where they get you.

Friday morning I had a horrible scare.

I sneezed.

I've been in that huge open room under test conditions. It gets cold and you're like right on top of each other with really no place to go.  And since my understanding is they don't even allow you to bring in tissue, if you have the sniffles or a runny nose you're in for a bit of hell. And, then you'd discover that taking an effective medicine - DayQuil, Robitussin, something - would make taking the Bar on par with say, trying to do calligraphy on a tossing ship deck on a wobbly table. Kinda.

Luckily, it was a one time deal. One sneeze. (Thank God!) 

My stomach is still up and down, but that may be because I'm eating all the wrong food. And I'm at that point every law student would put themselves in right before any exam, the classic "why did I do this to myself" question. Everything is pretty much framed through a legal argument at this point. I'm concerned because my last MBE practice questions still coming out around the 50% mark. Not good.

And after all this is over, too many things are still crowding into the back of my skull. I need to get stuff done around the house. I have story I want to write. And most importantly, I still need to find a job. I hate being a burden to my supporters. I just want to get back to ...well, I guess what it all was before.

Zero hour approaches. I need to get that 5-hour energy drink tomorrow, just in case.

Notes from the Law Desert - Part 6

Notes from the Law Desert - Part 6
When you join one of the historically black fraternal organizations, the process is called "Crossing the Burning Sands." It's supposed to mean that your willingness to undertake this journey represents your commitment to the organization. The theoretical sand burns at your soul(s) and gets you thinking about your life choices. Unless you're my law school classmate who went out to $2 Tuesdays after his first day of the exam. He might have tiptoed across the sand. 

How it feels to get ready...

My RP was right, since the MBE answers include a through explanation of why the right answers are right and the wrong answers are wrong, doing them IS studying. Why didn't I see this before?

My stack of flash cards has to be over a thousand cards. I'm starting to recognize some of them. I've pared down the reading to the streamlined review and the MBE questions and answers. Thursday I think will essay brush up day. Get my format down and all.

As of late my stomach is not cooperating and I'm also having trouble sleeping. I'll climb into bed, close my eyes and two hours later I'm still awake, just lying there. I'll get up and do some flash cards, but it's still middle of the night staring at the walls.  

Which raises the concern that I won't wake up on time on test day, next Tuesday. If I'm not asleep by 2am the day of the test, and I'm going to bed at 9 or 10pm...then I'm just not going to sleep. Me and 5 hour energy drink, like for real. All this work? The prospect of simply oversleeping is devastating.  

The “State” vs Zimmerman (as required by Internet Rule # 47854b)

This is a political post. 

Far too many times of late a African American male has been killed as of late, and its nobody’s fault.

I’m taking a moment to comment here on the Zimmerman trial, because after glancing through the commentary I’ve come to believe that due to the messaging we are missing the point. I got this after the watching Bill O’Reilly, who I cannot believe still has a TV show, suddenly consider the NRA’s stock answer of “arm everybody” to reduce crime to be too extreme after his guest Tavis Smiley suggested the concept be applied to black people as well.

Before I get started, I’d like to remind everyone that just because you agree or disagree with the verdict doesn’t mean it just or unjust. It is just a verdict. The reality is that the phrase “beyond a reasonable doubt” is an inherently relative term. 

It is terribly sad that a youth died. Trayvon Martin might have posted pictures of himself dressed as a thug and maybe even gotten in trouble a time or two at school, but was his path set for the penitentiary? Not necessarily. At the time of his passing he was looking at college applications. He was the typical middle class American child, rebelling a little. But for some reason the media chose to frame this question as if the rebellious nature of a black male youth somehow disqualified him from justice. And while extremely troubling, that’s not THE troubling issue. Nor is it black on black crime.

The problem is, that under Florida law, as it is in too many states, if one feels as though one’s life is threatened, one has the right to kill.  

The ramifications to me, personally, are frightening. The context is far too fluid, the criteria is far too subjective. This because the default setting for black American males is “threat”. We start on danger level. Let me give you an example: During my litigation exercise in my second year of law school, I stood up to make an objection. Just like on TV, “Objection Your Honor!” Afterwards, during the critique of our work, one of the first year law student jurors, a small white female, said that when I stood up to make that objection, I frightened her. Me. A middle aged man, a fellow law school student. In a courtroom, wearing a six hundred dollar suit, acting as the attorney. My presence "frightened" her. And if I’m a threat under those circumstances, then imagine a black male in the dark coming towards her.

The weird part is that Zimmerman didn’t even plead the Stand Your Ground defense. But reading of the jury instructions shows that it was something that the jury needed to consider.

It is my opinion, that the execution of the Stand Your Ground law (even in the “don’t apply but do consider it” reality we just experienced) erodes the rule of law, in that the criteria is now custom cut to fit the individual. Even worse, you now take into account the “egg shell” defendant. Were they recently robbed? Or previously assaulted? Are they small in stature? Let’s not  kid ourselves into to believing that we don’t assess what’s contextually “reasonable.” It something we all do  automatically, unconsciously. And that's not how the law should work.

Now I’m not trying to vilify George Zimmerman. Nor am I trying to make Trayvon Martin out to be some angel. I just find it odd that I haven’t heard about any Stand Your Ground cases where the “aggressor” survived to tell their side of the story. Does the law encourage killing? Can't you wound in self defense? Or just scare the aggressor? Oh, wait, maybe not.

I’m not going to speak on the “trial” until I’ve had a chance to look at it.

Now, back to the books. Georgia Bar in a week.

Notes from the Law Desert - Part 5

Notes from the Law Desert - Part 5
When you join one of the historically black fraternal organizations, the process is called "Crossing the Burning Sands." It's supposed to mean that your willingness to undertake this journey represents your commitment to the organization. Retracing those steps doesn't make any easier. The Bar might not last long, but its the burning sand. Might even be the burning coals.

This blog has been desolate lately.

Studying for the bar for a second attempt has the feel of walking through soft, foul smelling mud. It is a slog, which seems to require an effort for everything that needs to be done. I realized immediately that I couldn't approach this as a "brush up" retake, and that I had to re-immerse myself. Only it's like re-reading a book you read last week. Deja vu to the extreme. You can't shake that feeling that you know this stuff, but you also can't skip anything, so you find yourself reading and re-reading, to the point where you're reading things out loud to prove to yourself that you read them.

Flash cards, audio CDs, prep material, android apps. And repeat. 

For the occasional break, which I swear I'm trying to cut down on, I glance at this blog for Zerlina Maxwell, who is prepping for the NY Bar and whose tumblr format allows for way more funny pictures.

I thought the door bell rang at 6 am on Sunday.
I heard my imaginary dog bark.
I need a haircut.
I went outside the other day and there were cobwebs on the steps to my car.

Theoretically I'm ahead of the game. I've at least seen the thing before. Or is that a bad thing?

Well that was... unpleasant...

Ramblings Post #226
You roll the dice. You take the leap. You pull the trigger. You open your mouth and start talking. You take the first step. You realize that nothing is certain and you go anyway. Then, and only then....
whatever happens, happens. And for the record, most of the time its not like it happens in the movies.

I took the Georgia bar. I did not pass the Georgia bar.

That about says it all. I have no real explanation. Yet. But the madness that was is now about to repeat itself. Reading and re-reading black letter law, practicing MBE questions until my mind hits that subject determination action automatically, again. This time more essay practice and...because I swear I didn't do it but I'm not sure... swearing by and adhering to my answer formation rules.

Since the news has gone out I have received a continued vote of confidence from the folks, who
remind me I've gone to far down the path to turn back now. A good talking to from my brother, some of it good and some of it bad. And a few well placed "don't worry about it" acts from a small circle of friends. Very small circle of friends.

Why? This is embarrassing. And thanks to those who care for consoling me, but for the record, I don't really give a damn who I know that took it two or elevensixteen times to pass, I am me and they are them. This is well within the margin of my current ability. For me not have accomplished this gives rise to self doubt, a luxury I can ill afford at this juncture in my life. There are enough material issues in my life that cause me to rethink myself, and now to have a more substantive issue arise? I had trouble sleeping waiting for the results, and I'm having more trouble sleeping now. 

Not passing puts a the next part of my life on hold. Would just passing answer all my problems? No, of course not. But it would open up some opportunities in the legal field - some even income related - that are only opened to individuals who have passed. After all, student loans will be due soon. I'd like to drive a car that isn't held together by dust. New furniture maybe? If my house gets robbed again, I"m not sure I can afford repairs and stuff replacement. Income doesn't solve all problems, but for these minor matters, it does have a tendency to help somewhat.

Failure isn't what it used to be. When I was younger, twenties and early thirties, failing was shrugged off easily, put aside as an aberration. Even when the terms of my failure were epic, there was still a social distraction around the corner. Age colors things. There is now a palpable weight, a rising urgency to succeed. This is the first thing law related that I did not overcome. It hangs over me. For the time being however, I will compartmentalize. Focus.

As far as how to handle this in the sense of retaking it? I know what I have to do, and what its going to take to get it done. A larger degree of determination, a great deal more diligence and more attention paid to the nuances. And since I was prepared to start studying the same night I learned this information, I think I've got that down. Well, maybe I do, and maybe I don't. Just to be clear, it was the classic just a "few points miss", not a "re-examine your life"or a"why did you even go to law school" fail, okay? But that means I can't slack off because of overconfidence. Better, not just again.

Barkeep. Time for your summer vacation. I have things to do.

Things I meant to comment on (up to speed edition)

Ramblings Post #224
The line is "life comes at you fast." Yes, I know it's from an insurance commercial, but that doesn't make it any less true. And as I understand it, that end of April has been, a least for the last few decades, a very busy time of the year. The Oklahoma City Bombing, the Columbine Massacre and now the Boston Marathon all happened in the latter part of the month. Spring brings new things...and not all of them good. As such a few things might have gotten short shrift, at least from my perspective. I just wanted to say a few things, about those and about those things which are dominating our outlook. 

Me...

At my internship down at the Courthouse I did my first hearing, eventually getting the charges dismissed for my client. Mostly what I had been handling up to that point were what are called "diversions", wherein the state offers counseling or community service for first time offenders. If you've ever been in court it's all the hustling and bustling the lawyers do from table to table. Occasionally, because circumstances vary from case to case, we have an actual hearing, and this time I was up to bat. In my case I had the law on my side, wrote out my argument before hand to keep it all straight and during kept my questions to the point. I also got a lot of help from one the better lawyers in the office. Still, everyone thought I did a fairly good job. Yay me.

Pat Summerall

Pat Summerall passed away, and I am sad. He was, for lack of a better term, John Madden's comedic straight man in the broadcast booth. The duo was so good it's the only reason I'd watch the film the Replacements again, as they do the game commentary. As far as announcer's go, Summerall was truly one of the greats, his voice carrying a certain resonance that gave the sport the gravity it deserved. For twenty two years, with his rambunctious partner doing the color, the man simply sounded like football.

Summerall and Madden - Football. Period.

Waco, Texas.

Fertilizer Plant explosion. Had this happened a month a from now, this would be an indictment, a litany of characteristic flaws in the "minimalist form of government" touted as needed by so many. This lesson will be lost in the media storm. Start with Texas' sudden request for federal aid for a disaster caused by a private company after their insistence that New York and New Jersey be denied aid after the natural disaster of Hurricane Sandy. This is the height of hypocrisy. Add to that everything from the sketchy inspections to the cartoon-ish and dangerous zoning, there are so many things wrong with this picture.

Zoning? We don't need no government enforcing no Zoning! We're smart!

A Boston Comment...

If the people who described the Boston bombing suspects as dark skinned...could perhaps define dark skinned, that would be nice. I'm just saying. Especially since in the photos I've seen the two suspects look like they wouldn't cause anyone to clutch their purse a little tighter.

And, seriously, I'm hoping that this manhunt isn't a panacea for the masses, and that these really are the guys. Not that I  believe in any conspiracy to commit this act, I do however understand the need for national emotional closure. But in this case, well, really in any case, closing something out just to soothe our souls would be wrong. 

Makes you put all that ridiculous celebrity news that we get inundated with in context, don't it?


Barkeep. Shots. Just put 'em down until I say stop.

Well that was special

Ramblings Post #214
Once I was young, handsome, in shape, and ready to take on the world. My plan is to get back to all of that real, real soon. Which means I need to get started on my time machine, because I'm getting up there. And maybe learn some plastic surgery, 'cause male model I ain't. And get directions to the gym, because I know what to do, I just don't actually do it. But world, I'm still coming for you.  

One of the problems of having GOALS instead of creating MILESTONES is that once you've reached that thing you've been working towards you find yourself flailing trying to find new purpose. Or eating ice cream sandwiches. But with a plan that has milestones, when you've conquered one part, the next beckons. It maintains the purposeful nature of your actions. Not that I went to the gym this morning like I was supposed to...but I did have a proper breakfast that included fruit.

Small steps.

Well the Georgia Bar was...an experience. There were a couple of curve balls, but we muddled through. Well, most of us did. Well, nobody just started crying and ran from the room. Well, nobody I saw. Although there was a moment that I blanked. So, I leaned my head back, took a deep breath and took it from a different angle : meaning I turned to the last questions and started working backwards until my synapses started firing again. I got through it, and it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But it was worse in some respects. I dunno.

Everyone seems to think I did fine. I am taking a line of cautious pragmatism.

Hey barkeep, I'm back. So, to start me off, how about something nice. With an umbrella in it. Hmm?