A Very Dark Comedy - First Intermission

 This is a political post. 

Photo and Highlighting from Politco

In the last 10 days. There was Cheato's $750 tax scandal. Then his debate shenanigans which he spiced up with a shout-out for a white supremacist group. His former campaign manager is wrestled to the ground after a standoff with police. And then his first (most likely of many) October surprise - Cheato announces that he's tested positive for the 'Rona.

I for one am a little worried about the season finale for 2020. The writing is on the far side of ridiculous and picking up speed.

First, for the record, let me state that Cheato cannot die, not now. I don't mean that in that he's the undead or anything like that, but it's just that if that were to happen, in this year, this close to the election, the nation's conspiracy complex would explode like a supernova. Deep State and Q-Anon would dissipate in the sheer political heat of the that happening like the the idea that Saddam Hussein had a Stargate. Now, as it may be evident from past posts that I'm not a fan of the president, I'd vote for ANYBODY against him, but he needs to live so we can see this election through. Seriously. We don't need that headache. But he's in a high risk group due to age so there is a great deal of concern. And there should be, I think.  

Because the million dollar question is: Does he actually have it, or is this really a political stunt?

From the moment he claimed the audience for his inauguration was bigger than Obama's he's been telling tall tales to beat the band. He's got a major credibility problem as time after time things he's said or claimed have been easily dis-proven if all you do is look in a direction other than the one he's pointing. I mean remember his people took offense when someone pointed out Cheato's head had been photo-shopped onto an image of Sylvester Stallone's body from 40 years ago, as if to imply that was an accurate photo. And the members of his party left the first 'Rona briefing and immediately adjusted their stock portfolios, then told the rest of us it was all good. They're not much better. So now, with the very real possibility of actual consequences, we find ourselves in doubt as to his and their veracity. Is he the old orange man who cried wolf?

I saw the tweet in the middle of last month which espoused the theory that exactly what is happening would happen: Cheato would announce he had the virus in October. His would be a mild case and he'd emerge touting hydroy-magic-whatever as the cure. But for the two weeks he was fighting it the media would push everything else to the side - social justice in streets and in sports, fires in California, bad economic numbers, the expeditious nature of the Supreme Court confirmation, etc, - and it would be Cheato all day, everyday. In the end he'd emerge having dominated the news cycle for two weeks as both victim and victor of fate, a powerful image on the eve of an election.

As I said, the writing for 2020 is getting funny. And the leaks are terrible.

Now that the president claims he has the virus, the propaganda channel...um, Faux News, sorry, has decried those who are taking light of the situation by pointing out the cruelty of being mean to man in the midst of health crisis. Reinforcing the victim narrative. Forgetting completely that the man in question mocked those who took strenuous precautions to avoid getting infected, let's see,...um, checks notes.... on stage at the First Presidential Debate less than 48 hours before his own diagnosis. It's kinda like the guy who complained that he was paying taxes for the fire department and so the city let him opt out of paying, and then got upset when his house caught on fire and the fire department just stood and watched it burn. You kinda feel sorry for the guy, but then you kinda think he pretty much set himself up for this.

For now he's been moved to Walter Reed and put on an experimental drug that had some promising clinical trials. This lends itself the possibility he may actually have it. Although I would check to see who has recently bought stock in the company producing it.

Who had Super-Spreader event at the White House on their Bingo Card? You get a bonus prize I think. Two extra masks and a box of gloves. 

But as I said, I hope he pulls through. Because we don't need the headache right now.

The "Friendly Confines" of JerryWorld...

Ramblings Post #379
Where I been? I want to say I've been writing. I started the sequel to my alt-1960's tale The Grand Berber Most Divine, only this time the protagonist has a new challenge: family. It's tentatively titled The African Riviera Most Resplendent. But that's stalled for other reasons. And I did actually go to see Sporty. But that's a post I keep re-hashing in my head. And I'm leaving the Ranch. But that's also a whole other deal. So what I'm going to do is go with the familiar. No, not politics, although whenever I run into whoever is running the DNC some words will be spoken, believe that! No, I'm going to do football. It's just so soothing. Or at least it's supposed to be. 

Ron Rivera is out at Carolina because the Panther's owner David Tepper has stated clearly that he will not accept the idea of mediocrity for his team. Ron Rivera and Jason Garrett started at roughly the same time, 2011 and have similar resumes of just above a .500 record and three division titles. Neither one's team is playing that well this season either.  The one notable exception is that Ron actually took the Panthers to a Superbowl. We're still waiting. 

As I was pondering this, it hit me. Kids, I hate to say it, but the Dallas Cowboys are apparently the Chicago Cubs of the NFL.

Allow me explain. The Cubs play baseball in the Windy city of Chicago at 1060 West Addison, the venerable Wrigley Field. (Elwood Blues does not live there). They went 108 years without winning at the championship level until three years ago in 2016. But Wrigley Field stayed a hot ticket all those years the Cubs cried about about that epic drought. The games broadcast on WGN, the merch sold like hot cakes and with no need to really improve the product because people came anyway, the owners were practically printing money in the dugouts. There were valiant efforts, of course, and on more than few occasions the team had a loaded roster and won many games but just couldn't bring it home, which only endeared them to their audience more.

Sound familiar?

The Dallas Cowboys are the number one brand in the NFL, far and away. The next three in order are : The Steelers, the Packers, and whoever is winning this season. Seriously. And like the Cubs, the fans are still talking about the last championship twenty five years ago and every flash of brilliance is met with the phrase "We're going to the Super Bowl!" They win just enough to make you mad. The team seems to keep a loaded roster, draw more primetime eyes than any other team in the league and JerryWorld may as well be a cathedral to the sport. It also stays packed. To the rafters.   

Sound familiar?

But for the Cubs it wasn't until they changed coaches in 2014 that things started to fall their way. With Ron's departure in Carolina, and Garrett's contract up at the end of the season, will the Jones boys get the hint? The players are frustrated, as are the fans. We lost to the Jets. I mean damn. (Okay, Philly lost to the Dolphins, but we can't count on that every week. LOL.) The Cowboys lucked into a season where everyone in their division but them are rebuilding or (also) struggling, so they're still driving the bus of their own destiny. And with the pieces they've assembled, they've got a shot at doing something great in the next few years. But not with their current head coach, who may get the un-coveted Marvin Lewis designation this off-season if things go wrong...for the fans.  

Dallas Fans waiting on the Jones Boys to get it right.

And this choke-hold on that branding spot and all the associated perks means the incentive to win a championship boils down to ego on the part of the owner.

Barkeep. If you could put a bottle of the Pappy Van Winkle aside for later, that would be swell. For now, vodka and OJ, two cubes.

Have I got a bargain for you!

This a political post. 

"I may be wrong, I mean I may stand before you in six months and say, 'Hey I was wrong.' I don't know that I'll ever admit that, but I'll find some kind of an excuse."
~ Cheeto

Are we sure that Cheeto was even on television? I mean, the production of a television show is usually a long process, involving an enormous numbers of steps: multiple meetings, pitches, development, staging, revisions and rewrites, editing, etc. Does he know that? Are we sure Cheeto ever did an actual business deal? Usually a large business deal, especially one that involves millions of dollars, involves enormous numbers of steps: multiple meetings, evaluations and reports, negotiations, legalities, etc,  before anything can be squared away. Or did Cheeto just watch a lot of television? Because on television redoing the floors in you living room and kitchen take thirty minutes and you can fire the board and take control of the company simply by yelling it angrily in dramatic lighting. In real life, redoing the floors takes days and you can't even do the second. And on television, sure you can defang a brutal dictator of a repressive state armed with nuclear threat in one meeting if you can scrounge up three pounds of fresh crab meat, a two way mirror, fifty feet of fishing line, some dry ice and one of those Mission Impossible face masks.

Cheeto wants us to believe that he's solved the North Korea issue that has lasted 60 years in ONE meeting. They're no longer a threat he announces. This from a meeting which produced a "comprehensive agreement" that is all of ONE page that entitles the parties to a free ice cream, no, wait...um, to meet again? That's it? The man who paid someone to write the Art of the Deal sat down with a kid and got no guarantees of nuclear disarmament, no process to get there or even a framework, no timetable on the non existent process, no agreement to how an agreement if one is reached would be verified, no concessions, essentially nothing. And in return... is easing off the military pressure by blindsiding an ally and then talking about lifting sanctions. For a promise from a country that practically specializes in deception. Cheeto likes Kim. Thinks he's a fine fellow. Did I characterize that right? I did.

In television terms he wants us to believe turned what should be...and will be...a three season arc or perhaps a whole series by itself into a B-plot of 30 minute episode. I don't even want to bring into that he did this on heels of asking for his boss, um, I mean, asking that Putin's Russia be readmitted to the G-7 before he shot our allies the deuces and broke out early. Then had the audacity to tell us everything was copacetic while the countries who stood with us against communism since World War II gave him the global side-eye. If the fate of the world wasn't at stake I'd think this was a remake of that James Franco/Seth Rogan picture, the one that set off the North Korean cyber-attacks. Wait, did they even discuss cyber-attacks at this meeting?

And now like a used car salesman he's telling you what a great a deal you got, that you don't need a warranty, and he's throwing in the floor mats for free. Damn his manager. This is fishy as hell. 

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that Cheeto gets along great with dictators and tyrants and continually pisses off our allies? If you voted for Cheeto, was THIS, all of THIS, what you wanted? Really?  

Just Cause 4 what?

Ramblings Post #350
It is a downright crying shame that in this day and age of insane visuals and renders in modern game play that I still spend the majority of my time engrossed in the not particularly visually friendly, always frustrating and constantly in need of a tweak Dwarf Fortress. My latest fortress has me trying to stave off mass PTSD (I"m trying to see if letting the dead bodies rot away before moving the remains from the battlefield minimizes the effects to the non-military dwarves). And yet I find doing that more stimulating than finishing up Just Cause 3, which I bought on DAY ONE. 

I actually tracked down a copy of Just Cause 2. Seriously. I went to like five stores in Atlanta to get one. And it is one of the greatest games ever built. A huge campaign area with vast highways, jungles, cities, villages and military bases to raid. There was the space ship launch facility, the night club in the sky, the mysterious island, a snow hill run, nuclear subs, and it just kept getting more and more over the edge. Okay, taking the campaign bases got repetitive after a while, but that almost became an afterthought as you traveled through deserts, swamps, broke naval blockades, leapt off mountains, ducked through cities, raced speedboats and flew jets. It was the kind of game that was just this side of perfect. So, when Just Cause 3 was announced I was sure that what they'd done was just worked out those last few kinks on their way to building something magical. 

Boy, do you want to talk about disappointment.

At first I was like wow, then I was well, then I was like waah! That last one is me crying. What came out was what happens when you try to be extra, but forgot what made the original (or in this case the second one) work so well. I'm not even sure if the makers understood what made it so great. Part of the joy of JC2 was the campaign was integrated into the play area, making it feel interesting. The map was expansive but made sense, the villains just enough but not too crazy. It felt organic. All that went away with JC3. The military bases looked like something out of a James Bond film, the troops seemed cartoon, the missions too long or just ridiculous. And while I didn't mind the arcade features of something like Far Cry 3, because they weren't integral to the gameplay, the number of times you go back and blow something up for "funsies" or to earn a new toy in JC3 ruined the immersion.

And the map. Lord the map. While yes, flying a jet from one end of Panau to the other in JC2 could take 10 minutes, but the map didn't feel too big. And there was always something to do there. In JC3, there are whole sections of the map with no bases, no villages, no hidden goodies, no...nothing. Maybe I missed something but damn. I finally just stopped playing, which has me messed up because now I feel funny starting anything else on the PS4 because the game isn't finished.

Which brings us to Just Cause 4. With tornadoes, and lush jungles and...just stop. My understanding is that JC3 was intended to be something else - a more social game online affair rife with micro-transactions and shared achievements. And then they blinked because that really isn't a Just Cause thing, or it tested poorly or something, went back and stripped all of the money parts out and we were left with...that. My question is, with JC4, did they go through with it this time? Because I can just replay Just Cause 2 again. Seriously.

Barkeep. Maybe I don't want to play a game with 400 of my internet friends, then what? My order? Can't you see I'm trying to unload some thoughts here? Obviously that means gin.  

Going to the Movies...maybe.

Rambling Post #344
I like movies. As you may have read if you read anything about my past, like on this blog, yeesh, I've written a few scripts and have a few story ideas of my own. And one day, lord willing and the creek don't rise (and I can scrape together a few hundred bucks I don't owe anyone) I'm going to make something. Technically the few hundred bucks if for some good lunches and one of those director chairs, but a man has to have standards.

I caught the trailer for "Sorry to Bother You" this past weekend, and I'm interested. It's a film out this summer starring Lakeith Stanfield from the hot show Atlanta and Oscar nominee Get Out.

Yes this looks silly, but then that's on purpose.

I found the trailer both incredible and troubling. It was incredible in that it looks like a pastel infused explosion of just on the edge of reality semi-ideas, that's been dropped in a blender with generous dash of ridiculous, served through a sugar straw with a side of that sticky icky icky. It looks fresh, different, as if it touches on social issues and yet is still just plain funny. And troubling because once again, it looks like Hollywood has shown us the whole damned movie in two minutes. The trailer looks like it shows everything but the end! I think I know most of the story at this point - Down and out guy, love life and home life rocky. Gets job. Discovers secret to job. Advances up the ladder using the secret. More money, different problems. Guy has to make a decision about his life and...profit? (Sorry, underpants gnomes joke there.)

I can't be the only one this irks the crap out of.

The premise looks interesting. The hero Cassius, who lives in his uncle's garage is desperate to get something started. He lands a telemarketing job and learns very quickly from a co-worker that to be successful he needs to find his "white voice." If you're not a minority, you're probably not familiar with the concept of a particular voice for a particular situation, but this is a very real thing. the white voice he finds - which you hear in the trailer - is the whitest. And from there, things take off. Along the way to wherever this is supposed to go, the hero meets a broad and eclectic cast of characters on a trip through a only slightly weird version of the world of the average professional. Kinda.

Express yourself

Now, I've watched enough movies with insane premises - I used to watch a lot of late night TV and at one point USA had a show called Up All Night which made you wonder if you were hallucinating as a young teen. This film looks like something from someone who watched a lot of TV like that, but still has a social conciseness. And if they don't that's okay too.

Promotion Time.

Let's go to the movies. Well, maybe. Let's see how this all plays out. I am excited though.

Barkeep. I'll have whatever the man in bowler hat is drinking. Yes, I'm a bit scared, but you only live once.

Shut it down, Shut it all down! No, just kidding.

This is a political post. 

 

Let's see. The Airline was shutdown. The Vodka, the University, and the Steak line all shutdown. Didn't he have a cologne in there at one point that no longer exists? I don't really remember. Even the signature Casinos shutdown, and that's basically a place where people go and throw money at you. So, looking at the track record, logically a government shutdown was pretty much inveitable. Seriously, who didn't see this coming. Art of the Deal my ass. Even on easy mode wanna-be Banana Repup-likkan Furher Cheeto still can't figure out how to make it work. 

By the way, the outgoing White House phone message during the weekend was the very definition of petty. 

This very brief shutdown was both funny and troubling, and not just because it means half the country believes in a party that even when in total control of the country somehow can't keep the car out of the ditch. The actually personally troubling part is, because it affects me, is that the ranch where I currently hang my hat depends heavily on the ole' gubmint because we clear a lot of stuff through them. Gubmint type stuff only the gubmint can do. Plus like other reasons. The funny part is the fix is only to move the deadline back two weeks. Man that ditch is deep.    

I heard at one point the argument was either CHIP or Immigration. Wait, Health Insurance vs the DREAMERS? For those who don't know CHIP is the Children's Health Insurance Program, a national healthcare program for poor children which weirdly has been unfunded for four months now. A CHIP deal could have been brought up for a "clean" vote that would have passed with the kind of bi-partisan support that has become so rare these days. It should have been a bridge to a better understanding of putting the country and it's people before party.  Instead, the powers that be - i.e., the party in charge of the Senate - basically decided to keep it unfunded and use it as a political tool to make the other side look bad. See, they don't want to save the children, they're terrible, we're the good guys! Pay no attention to the last four months. Now, they're trying to turn it into an issue of the needs of children versus the needs, well, the other children. But one set is like, American children.  

This guy...

But now, it seems that ole' Chuck Schumer (D) has gotten CHIP off the table, with a 6 year extension to the program just to get the government restarted. Which is actually pretty slick. He also got some rather shady assurances that the Immigration matter would make it to the table fairly soon. And in the process set up Cheeto for the okey-doke, but I'll explain that later.  

Another by the way, has anyone see the rest of the Democratic Party? I mean, not just the Senators and Congressmen, but the party leaders who were supposed to be turning things around after what happened last election? I realize the Republicans have been stumbling on their own for the most part, but a nice political shove to get them flat on their faces wouldn't be the worst thing. But I digress. 

Now, let me explain what I think (and hope) is about to happen: Because the funding scheme that the deal they worked out is so short, what this means is that when, er, I mean if, ole' Timmy Turtle (R) tries bounce Immigration off the agenda like he did the ACA promise he made last year, Schumer has the leverage to come right back to this same spot in little over two weeks. Meanwhile, between now and then Cheeto gets to make his first State of the Union. Who wants to put money down he makes himself look like the conquering hero? Nobody? Damn. Anyway, after his certain boasting about how he stared down the Democrats at this moment of uncertainty, exactly how would it look if the government shuts down again.... a week later? 

 

Cheeto has backed McConnell, er, Turtle, into a corner by spurning the earlier agreement. Timmy puts immigration on the docket, he looks weak. He doesn't, he embarrasses the Cheeto. The government shuts down, Schumer is the guy who stood ALL the way up to Cheeto, which gives the Democratic party hope. The Republicans invoke the "nuclear option," they're pretty much handing the keys to the castle to the Democrats if the expected Blue Tsunami hits this fall in light of the recent tax bill.  

 

A number of people, including Pelosi, were upset about this "capitulation" feeling they'd given up the upper hand here instead of going for the jugular now. But Schumer isn't playing poker, he's playing chess. And right now he's got a longer play in mind. If he can actually pull it off is the question.

BRexit. Or How to ruin your country in one easy vote.

This is a political post. 

Let me put this in, more or less silly, but still accurate, terms. Britain has decide to break up with it's girlfriend, the European Union. It's tired of having to check in on late nights out or sit through her reality shows and just knows the fun times are around the corner if it just didn't have to put up with her relatives dropping by all the time. Now, after this break up, Britain for some reason thinks it can still get the EU to keep doing the laundry, buying the groceries, and getting frisky on the regular, you know, all the parts that Britain likes. Oh, and if it could not have to move out for while, that would be great too. Britain apparently doesn't listen to many Beyonce songs.  

I hope the stalwart conservatives in this country are watching, because this is the destination of that whole "take back our country movement" that has put reality show TV star and carnival barker billionaire Donald Trump in the driver's seat of one of America's major political parties. Visceral feel good action for a particular segment of the population, damn the actual consequences to everyone else. The BRexit vote was a repudiation of globalization, the process we've been undergoing in various stages for the past three decades now. The problem is that much like social gaming or a vodka with a new horrible flavor, globalization is where we're headed right now. This attempt to slam the brakes on the future in their own little corner of the world is going to hurt a whole lot more than it helps.   

To start with, the political fallout is catastrophic. The Prime Minister resigned so that there would be no one with the power to act on the vote until the next election, with the hopes that by then everyone will have come to their senses. In turn, the conservative government is pretty much taking a powder and this move by the Brits is causing the other members of the Union, a large part of why World War III hasn't started yet, to wonder if they'd be better off on their own (note: They won't). Even Scotland is now trying to get out from England and get back on the EU's good side. Some are wondering if the government that gets elected and sees the writing on the wall will even go so far as to reject the vote, which could put a whole nation right back here six months from now.   

And if the political looks grim, the financial fallout will be worse. Because if the EU survives, the other 27 countries probably won't want to use London as their financial hub like it has been doing for the past two decades. Hello Brussels. In Belgium. I'm not even sure if Belgium is a real country. And the restart of trade restrictions and probably tariffs as well aren't going to do British industry any favors. By closing itself off to easy trade and potentially decimating its financial sector, and doing it in a particularly ugly manner, the idea that the incoming rulers will somehow be able to negotiate a new sweet heart deal to let Britain get all the benefits of the EU membership and none of the issues is highly unlikely. Like winning the lottery unlikely. 

Sadly, the polls show that it was the older people who are trying to turn back the clock edging out those who'll actually have to live in the future. And much like FOX news viewers in America, those old folks drank the Kool-aid and believed the politicians who were spoon feeding what they wanted to hear. They were told that the membership fee for being part of the European Union, a sweet $350 million per week, would go to the National Health Service instead. This sounds great on paper. Yet a week after the vote the promoters of the idea to leave have already scrubbed that idea from the record, glossing over the fact that the original numbers weren't exactly real to begin with.

Immigration fears, seemingly now a world wide constant, were also stoked. The isle had seen a steady rise in immigration as the rest of Europe's economy floundered. Of course THOSE people, as they historically always have been according to every "fill-in-the-blank" supremacist, are responsible for any "fill-in-desired bad situation" here. And the good people bought it. Well, maybe not good people, as I understand a number of people even thought a vote to "Leave" meant foreigners would have to leave Britain. Like now. If that doesn't set off red flags for xenophobia, I don't know what will. I wonder if the British can see the irony in not wanting foreigners in your country? Ironically, the move has Britain's best export - expatriates - scrambling for answers.

And if all this sounds oddly familiar, it's because is. This is the same Leave NAFTA, we'll use your tax dollars better - until we actually get into office song and dance currently masquerading as party movement in America. And while it's practically a used car salesman pitch on a national level, it apparently worked on the sophisticated Brits. They're supposed to be the smart ones!

Britain broke with their girlfriend, and it turns out that it's looking pretty lonely out here. May I suggest some roses, some tears and a little Marvin Gaye?

Thank God SOMEBODY Won the Powerball...

Ramblings Post #309
I laugh at suggestions like Mark Cuban's who suggested that money can't buy happiness. Statements like that in my opinion mean the the man hasn't seen a bill he hasn't been able to pay for a while. Broke isn't what he thinks it is. The general idea might be that money might not buy happiness, but it will allow you to purchase a spot right next door to it and become good friends. At the bare minimum, moneys makes being miserable a whole lot more comfortable. 

As it has become clearly evident due to reporting in news and confirmed by my bank account, I did NOT win the Powerball. And most likely you didn't either. 

Good. 

Not that we shouldn't believe in long shots or beating the odds, it's what makes American great, but like many of you, for the past few days my mind would wander to what I do if I won. It was a lot of money, you just kinda had to get in on taking a shot. I thought of who I would share the money with, what gifts I would hand out as college loan and mortgage payoffs, friends I would hook up and the like. And yes, I imagined either building a small town just outside Atlanta or buying one of the two or three super expensive mansions that I researched in the real estate listings. The coolness of it all consumed us as we dove into our fantasies. And now it's all over and we can go back to our regularly scheduled lives. Which may have accounted for all that surprising morning traffic the day after. Were folks all late this morning checking tickets? 

The lottery had become THE topic of conversation. Around the office there were the usual jokes and shared dreams. We talked about strategies for handling the money while we worked. I got into conversations with my father about it during phone calls. Bringing up the lottery became an icebreaker when talking to people I hadn't seen in a moment, with wishes of luck and promises to let them super-size the dinner I would buy them if I won. I think we all got a little too caught up. 

By my calculations the 44 states that participate in the education lottery should see a 30-plus million dollar bump in their allotments per participant for this little period, which is great. The idea that providing much needed funding for education gets lost in the shuffle when we talk about the lottery. On the occasions I participate, I ask the clerk if I can make my "donation" to the education fund. Since this is going for a good cause, we might need to get this hyped up about it twice a year. 

But I picked up a couple of tickets, sure, although I am well aware that statistically the second ticket had no real affect on my odds of winning anymore than say, the good luck dance I did in living room that night. And also I played with a group from work, this on the simple theory of "if you win, you're not leaving me here." I actually have that concept as a story idea, the person getting left behind after a group wins, as a screenplay treatment. But I in reality I made no huge investment of any kind, and I doubt I'll play again until it gets back up there and I happen to be in the store, with money, and don't want potato chips or something.  

Most of us had no business dreaming that hard on something that far outside the realm of the possible. We have skills and talents we let linger when we could be making those work, instead we focus on the 292 million to one shot. I thought about it way more than I should have, even after I admitted to a co-worker that I wouldn't even check to see if I won. The deluge of needy well wishers and sudden relatives would have turned my life upside down, but I think the total amount would have been hard to burn through. And keeping it under wraps would have been difficult. Although if it wasn't going to stay a secret, I'd have to shoot my own reality show so I could control the message. See, it thought of everything. 

But it's over now. And life returns to normal. The seemingly endless cycle of getting up, working and scrambling for something better. Oh, how I missed you. 

Barkeep. Let's start over at the beginning. Beer. No, not the good beer. Mass market American beer. Yes, I said it.

Ben Carson is ...Action Carson

This is a Political Post

Special Note: It took me a couple of days to construct this and get it how I wanted, and in that time it seems to have become either completely irrelevant in light of the other incidents, OR a much needed  indictment of the kind of thinking that says that if one hole is letting water into the sinking ship, the smart thing to do is to open a second hole to let the water out. You decide.  

I'm more than a little amazed that a man that looks so awkward in front of the camera and sounds to very far off center in his leanings is not only running for President, but one of the early front runners. Carson looks like, maybe he's having trouble with his contacts? Or had a few at lunch and is a little tipsy, but hiding it well? That English isn't his first language three days a week? I'm not sure what he looks like, but I know he doesn't look at all comfortable in any of the interviews. That may just be a Republican thing, as I understand the conservative definition of question is "opportunity to give my wholly unconnected viewpoint unchallenged." I mean sure Trump sounds crazy, but it's a confident crazy.

But his comments on the Oregon shooting are mystifying. I'm not even going to go into the arming of the Jewish people would have reduced the effect of the Holocaust and stick with the modern day concept. He seems to be both living the Action Hero dream of most conservatives while carefully stopping the discussion right before the ill effects of anything he's proposed might occur. Someone please tell them that the credits aren't going to roll anytime soon, and we have to deal with the effects of the situations we create. They will not be glossed over by the time we get to a sequel.

But of his proposed actions, I'm confused, and I like to think both my regular readers would know that. Could someone get Mr. Carson to walk us through his "bum rush the show" solution? Because the logistics baffle me.

You have a room, classroom, and let's say twenty students. The person enters armed at the front, away from everyone, because that's how classrooms are setup, brandishing his weapon. Let's say there is ten feet between the armed person and the students. Carson suggests that he would have said something along the lines of, "Let's get him, he can't shoot us all." So... does Carson go first, hoping that the crowd follows him?  Does he wait to see if anyone else moves? And for those few seconds of indecision, is the man with the gun...checking his twitter feed? It's not like he's loading a musket waiting for the crowd to reach a decision, he was using an automatic, and I'm guessing the guy is already pretty amped up.

Now I've already seen this scene in a movie, and it went about as expected. The cowboy pulls out a two shot derringer on a group of four men who appropriately reach for it. Then the bold one at the front realizes that the cowboy can't shoot them all and pretty much tells them to do what Carson suggests. The cowboy asks the question, "Which ones of you are going to get shot so the others can get me?" As you may have guessed, the cowboy walked out of the room untouched.

Getting shot on purpose is asking a lot. We don't even ASK trained soldiers to do that.

My personal opinion is that Carson's movie hero line would have gone, "Let's get him, he can't.." Gunshot.

And on the way to the Presidency, these are the easy questions.  
 
 

About this Superhero thing...

Ramblings Post #289
Peter Parker is Spiderman. Period. I know the kids really like Miles Morales, but let’s just keep our heads here people. For a less iconic superhero I might be okay with a change – see all them damn Green Lanterns – but Spiderman is more than a suit and powers. He’s the original hard luck hero.  The hero with bills. With great power comes great responsibility. And there are just some stories that should not change. Omigod, I cannot believe I just wrote that.

I love comic books.

I started reading comic books back when they cost fifty cents and every plot didn’t involve tearing the universe asunder or a galaxy spanning conspiracy. Back when Spiderman was referred to as “your friendly neighborhood Spiderman” and good and evil were a bit more cut and dried. And I was more of a Marvel guy than a DC guy as well, as I thought them more grounded. Even so, I moved on from the big titles to smaller ones as I grew older, the smaller titles usually less grandiose in their ideas of what villainy might be, where every scheme didn’t involve global domination. I’d still pick the stalwarts though from time to time to stay current – Spiderman, Batman, Wolverine, the occasional mini-series or trade paperback. I dabbled more than anything.
But as of today I think a little movie success has caused them folks at Marvel to lose their minds.

In setting up their new Once a year super crossover “hey, let’s get you interested in a another character so you’ll buy that book too!” you got to be kidding me jeez not again with this crap again Spectacular, they’re going to so far as to stop printing thirty three regular titles. Sigh. I’ve never really been one for the retcon – the comic book writer habit of rewriting years of established history to fit the story they came up with last week – but this is one for the books. (that pun was not on purpose.) Reading through the promo I’m not even sure how it all fits together, and I'm not even sure I want to find out.

I bought the first Secret Wars series, which made sense to some degree, taking all the top end superheroes and facing them off against the high end super villains away from the billions in destruction they would have surely cause on Earth. Okay, it made comic book sense. It gave us Venom and Carnage and new character arcs. The second Secret Wars kinda made sense as well, the impetus behind the first Secret Wars coming to Earth, although it might be better executed with the broader scope writers of today are afforded. But this monstrosity of crossover, I'm like really? This is a complete and total exodus of the idea of subtle and nuanced for the grandiose demonstration... which if you're paying attention will be undone three years from now in another grandiose demonstration. I understand crossover pollination, but damn. I'm scared to go the Comic Book store and get caught up in this mess.

It's like the Hollywood mentality is taking over comic books and not the other way around. Comics are a hard medium to write for, as the characters are so firmly established. And the nature of the medium means the world can't be at stake every month, you have to build up to things. Film by comparison is short, picks and chooses from the canon what it wants to use and seemingly necessitates the spectacular with every outing. This is both tiring and messy for the fan to watch even as we're excited to see our favorites come to life. And now it seems like those film directors who didn't understand the characters they've been handed are infecting the writers and editors who were passed down the characters they were supposed to care for that we've come to love.

I want comics to get back to stories that developed character and involved small things, or at least didn't involve extra dimensions and six different clones every issue. A little skirmish. Every battle need not be World War Three in fifteen pages to be interesting. Maybe I got spoiled. Or maybe I just need to stick with the independents and the small stories.

Just one more Spidey though. I can quit anytime.

Barkeep. A mixing bowl, a spoon, a big box of Rice Krispies, some sugar and milk. Seriously.

Bar Chatter

Bar chatter #30
Sometimes it ain't enough to equal a whole post, but still needs to be said.... it's bar chatter. 

This right here, this right here is a problem.

Okay, maybe it's me. As a young man burgeoning with emotion as a child, I was told that women value more of what's inside that what's out. Apparently I was told a lie. All that work I put into making myself urbane, cultured and witty, fun to be around and just generally good time doesn't stand a chance against a good jawline and pair of green eyes.

I weep for humanity.

I often hear women complain that men only seem to be after them for the looks, that we're so shallow, etc and so on. That on the left is his recent mug shot picture. That on the right is a mock ad made by someone smitten by him. He is currently in jail. Further, the tattoos on his face and neck do not bode well for his history of life decisions. Sure, he could be a Rhodes scholar or work with homeless puppies, but as it turns out most of his admirers do not care. He's been dubbed Dreamy McMugshot. 

Ladies, welcome to the shallow end.

Bar Chatter

Bar chatter #29
Sometimes it ain't enough to equal a whole post, but still needs to be said.... it's bar chatter. 

I don't have a lot of time to put together blog posts these days. Very busy. This is about to be quotes and stuff like this for a minute. And stuff I wrote before but never put up. Sigh, priorities have to be in order.

But in the fifteen minutes I took to make sure that America was still a country - politics being what it is these days - and to make sure none of my friends had won the lottery - hey, you know we go back, right? - I saw this thing where you open your music player, ipod, iPhone, G4 or whatever and hit shuffle, then list the first 20 songs that pop up.

It's supposed to tell you something about the person. That they're deep, or insightful or listen to way more rap than you realized existed, or something, I'm not sure what though. But I needed a post and this was simple. So I opened my player, set it shuffle, started the first song then hit next...

Like Water for the Desert (Rain Montuno) - Ottmar Liebert
Day Dreaming - Anthony Hamilton
Leap Frog (Take 7) - Charlie Parker
Uhh Ahh - Boyz II Men
I Forgot To Be Your Lover - Jaheim
Tea for Two - Youmans (Composer)
Caipira - Ottmar Liebert
These Eyes - India Arie
Have You Seen Her - The Chi-Lites
Thug is a Drug - Mos Def
No Ordinary Love -  Sade
Esperanza - Body & Soul
Atomic Dog - George Clinton
The Fifth Symphony - Beethoven
Ms. New Booty - Bubba Sparxx
King of Rock - Run DMC
Grazing in the Grass - Boney James & Rick Braun
Cre-a-tine - Cool Breeze
Morris Brown - Outkast
Love the One You're With - Luther Vandross

So, am I am crazy? Really cool? Pretentious? Or do I own a lot more jazz and old soul than even I realized.

Barkeep, a nice Cabernet if you've got one. And the appetizer menu. Thanks.

Bar chatter

Bar chatter #28
Sometimes it ain't enough to equal a whole post, but still needs to be said.... it's bar chatter. 

It's been a long time since I did one of these, (2012, really?) but this I have to say....

I didn't really watch How I Met Your Mother a lot. I watched some of the first season, then law school and so now I catch re-runs. But I thought the original premise was cool: A long story about how this guy met his kids mother. I also realize that because TV is a tricky medium with renewals and cast changes, so getting to that titular moment was going to be teased out.

More than few episodes were neatly written. The characters familiarly kooky. The situations just different enough to be fresh. It was a fairly good show.

Then Monday the series ended. And the main character runs to be back with the chick he met in the first episode. Who was not the mother. When the story was supposed to be about meeting the mother. The term McGuffin comes to mind. They could have just called it Friends II if this was the plan, and since they shot the ending nine years ago, it was. I wish the actress playing that "friend" had quit so they would have been forced to do something different, something better.

What would have been better you ask? The whole last season with Ted and the Mother (Tracy) getting to know each other. And the change of the dynamic and the growth of the characters. Instead, we get the a finale that could have been written by M. Night Shyamalan.

It makes me glad it's gone...sorry ass writers.   

Wait, they named who as the next Batman?

Ramblings Post #233
Sure we all thought that Daniel Craig would be a horrible Bond, because we had an image of Bond looked like and Craig wasn't it. And yes, we were wrong and pleasantly surprised when he turned out to be very, very good. And yes, it's true that after looking at the dailies of Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, the studio head complained that Depp was ruining the movie. And yes, he was wrong because Jack Sparrow is a great cinematic character. And yes, we all were sure that the Micheal Keaton was going to horrible in the role, but were proved wrong. But then, this is Ben Affleck we're talking about. Ben Affleck!

The death of Thomas and Martha Wayne - the catalyst.

If Ben Affleck is the Batman we deserve, then we as a people to pause on reflect for a minute, because we have a lot to atone for. A whole lot.

We can all agree, after Argo, that Affleck is a damn fine director. We can also agree after Good Will Hunting, that the man can write a script. And I'm not sure, but I thought we all agreed after Daredevil and it's follow-up Elektra that it's best if he not play costumed superhero anymore. Sure he fills out the suit, but there is more to acting than looking like the hero. Didn't we have a big meeting about this? Remember, we got mad because the coffee wasn't Colombian? Remember? Mary got all confused and thought were asking Matt Damon to play Daredevil in the sequel? Why does no one remember this?

Now, if you want Affleck to direct the Batman/Superman movie, there is no problem. If you're suggesting he tweak the script a bit, sure. But as Batman? Whose idea was this? Do you know why Batman movies fail? Because you pick a guy to play Batman, and that means you're doing it wrong. To make a successful Batman movie, you pick a guy to play Bruce Wayne. The brooding, slightly demented, heroic man who dresses up like a giant bat because his parents were killed by criminals. That's why they picked Keaton, remember? And if you think Ben has the chops to play Bruce Wayne, then we might just need a brand new producer as well.

Next thing you know, they'll want DMX to play the Joker. 

Barkeep. Seriously, I got this idea for a James Bond movie, but where James Bond is old so we can try to talk Sean Connery into playing him again. Less shoot-outs, more where Bond is a thinking man's secret agent. What? You just serve drinks...I see.

Not Feeling the Zombie Apocalypse

Ramblings Post #217
Chase your dreams. Or at least try to look at them from time to time. Dreams are your brain running checks in the system, exposing you to things you were even afraid to think while awake. But don't over do it, sometimes you brain just spits out stuff. Let it go.

Walking Dead Shot - So wrong. The highway on the left leads to Freedom Park, the bridge in the distance is 85/75 and leads out of town. The traffic should be on other side of the road trying to get out, not heading to brunch.

Last night I had dreams about zombies. Not once, but three or four times. It was like a triple feature where I went from scenario to scenario, at one point hiding out in a tower - with trash bags in the corridor and brewing beer in hanging bottles(?) - to being back at my parents house praising the loss of power because it meant we could spend more time doing things that were actually important. Oddly, I saw no zombies, but the people in my dreams talked about them a lot. It was one of those things you want to try to interpret, but don't know where to start. Or just not.

I don't particularly like zombies. First, I'm not a big fan of horror. When I was younger I found horror films funny (I cheered for the monster) but the latest breed of horror creations I find too gory. It's how creative can I get without any heart. Sporty and I used to go see them, but only because she wanted to. Watching movies waiting to be scared isn't something I enjoy.

The other reason I don't like zombies is that I think that it's intellectually lazy to use them. As a writer, I think one of the keys of good storytelling is that both the protagonist and the antagonist have viable and believable stories. The villain has to want something - revenge, money, power, etc. to give the hero something to do. And the hero has to have a reason to stop them. Bad villain? Lackluster motivation? Hero involved for no reason? The whole story suffers. The use of zombies sadly eliminates the need for that whole construct. Zombies just want to feed. No ego, no motivation, no plan that has to be worked out or scenario to create to make them believable. Just say they exist and boom, you're done. Even better, all the hero needs to do is kill them, with no real other plan. Sometimes the author gives the hero destination to reach "safety" but the use of zombies is as lazy as sticking vampires into the tale. 

So I don't watch the Walking Dead, nor am I particularly excited about the upcoming movie World War Z and I look past the cover of video games that offer hordes of zombies to blow away. Lazy. The last zombies I liked were on South Park, where it turned out you weren't supposed to kill them! Oops.

Barkeep. Do you have anything with universal themes, strong characters, inventive writing? Oh, you serve drinks, not books? Oh, well pity me then, and not a lot of ice.

Obama, you're taking too many punches kid!

This is a political post. 

I would like to believe that the President is employing some kind of political rope-a-dope in this situation, letting his opponent talk himself into a corner. But watching last night I think Obama got caught flat footed by Romney - who presented yet another version of himself that I don't think anyone saw coming.

Romney won. I think this despite the fact that there is something about his voice that I find generally annoying. I'm not sure if its his patter, his cadence, or what, but there is something there that I find unsettling. And despite that I still think he debated the President to a standstill. But then that maybe because Romney last night didn't sound anything like the Romney of the past few weeks as he denounced his own previous statements multiple times from the podium. Suddenly he's for regulation? When did this happen?

Jim Lehrer didn't help, letting both candidates go over time, talk over one another and dance around questions as though they trying out for the Russian ballet. I think the next moderator should have a little buzzer and if the candidate hasn't started actually answering the question in 30 seconds they get buzzed, the moderator repeats the question and says quite clearly "That's not an answer, try again." After their third try the moderator just turns their mic off.

But the first round is over, and Obama's corner men need to man up and tell him he sucked last night. He took a lot of jabs, didn’t move his feet. Obama is going to need to counter-punch, work the body and do all of the following:

1. Facts to back up facts.

Romney's budget plan, one which is too complicated to explain to anyone, does haves a five trillion dollar tax break. This figure comes from the estimated revenue loss created by making the current tax cuts permanent, Romney's proposed twenty percent additional reduction, and the elimination of the estate tax, all over a ten year period. It's not set in stone because Romney has been cagey with specifics. Obama should have known this is where the number comes from, who created the math, and been able to hold Romney to that figure. Or where any statement he was going to make is based on, so that when called on it he could easily respond. This is bad prep, plain and simple.    

2. Add Logic to the Discussion.

When Romney trotted out that old Republican chestnut that "profits create jobs", I wanted to cheer because this is the easiest of all topics go at with a logic weedwacker* in the past three years. Basic economics - markets create jobs, not profits. But the President didn't start educating, touting instead his own efforts to cut taxes. Because I doubt the next moderator will be as easy, he may have missed his chance, but whenever possible Obama needs to be able to in the Clinton-ian style walk people through the logical flaw (or question) in thirty seconds or less.

3. Employ Republican tactics.

The Republican party has for the past decade used the fairly simple idea of "if you repeat it often enough, then people will think it is true." In the debate, time and time again Romney repeated the idea that “he is for jobs” at least five times. Early on one phrase of the President's caught my ear - Economic Patriotism - but he never used it again. Obama is going to need two or three phrases which he can repeat over and over, that he segues to with ease to hammer home the idea he will be the better President. 

4. Let the Truth ring out.

When the President mentioned his use of Romneycare as a model for the Affordable Healthcare Act,  Romney turned it into a study of his own collaborative works. Obama should leapt on the chance to use this to delineate the difference that he's clearly received no support at all, if not outright hostile opposition from his Republican colleagues, since he's taken office. Idea put forth : Democrats work with you, Republicans don’t. Instead, we got nothing. Obama shouldn’t be afraid to state things that everyone can check for themselves.

5. Watch your language.

The President should be aware, as should his whole team, that any bad phrasing will be exploited by the opposition. After all, they made a bad juxtaposition of words into the theme of their convention. And Romney’s attempt at a "you are no JFK" moment in stating he doesn’t know of a tax break for taking jobs overseas should serve as a clear warning. I’m politically knowledgeable, and I realize the idea trying to be put forth is that we have granted to tax breaks to firms who then took jobs overseas anyways. Not stating it clearly is a gaffe. Language is very important. And not being able to correct him was just more of the previous bad prep work.                                       

In the future, Obama needs to prep not for Mitt Romney, but for the audience. Romney has demonstrated that he is not gonna be who any evidence has shown him to be. One can predict the usual questions, so prep to defend the administration's positions with short answers, and personal real people stories where appropriate.

Now, there are a lot people who think the race is already over, and that Obama has already won. Mathematically speaking, he should take the electoral college handily, but nothing is set in stone. There are still a few tricks left than be played that can make a difference, and a little difference is all that’s needed for the election to go into overtime. I realize Obama doesn’t have a lot free time here to get ready...what with running the country and all...but he’s gonna have to man up, down a few five hour energy drinks, burn the midnight oil and miss a few family dinners. I’m sorry his anniversary fell on debate night, but this is just too important. 

We don't necessarily need this guy to show next time. Okay maybe we do.

*The supposition is that businesses need profits so they will hire people. But corporations currently have high profits and they're not hiring. The response is that  the times are uncertain, and businesses need certainty. But I this conflicts with the idea of the job creator who gets the reward for taking the risk - if there is certainty, why is the reward for risk justified?  And this flies in the face of basic economics which says markets dictate business creation, not profit.

Another Long Day

Some days are long. Still, some days are even longer than then "some days."

I haven't been writing lately because I've got a lot on my mind, and with that AND the bar prep, writing hasn't been my outlet. But then right this second, nothing is my outlet.

You stand and ready yourself for what comes, take a deep breath, and wait for the sky to fall...and hope you can catch it.

Oh wither mine Cowboys...

Ramblings Post #170
You're making a sandwich right? You got the roast beef cooked to tender suppleness, a little wet but not too damp, the lettuce in crisp, the tomato is firm, the bread with a just a hint of sesame seed. You've taken the time to anoint it with a touch of oil and vinegar, a fine sheen of mustard and just a that thin glaze of mayo. Chips on the side, not that Lays but the good kettle cooked kind, and glass of iced tea. You sit down, take the first bite and you realize just then, on the verge of a taste bud explosion of sublime pleasure that the mayo is bad and not only do you have a bad taste in your mouth...you've ruined the sandwich. That feeling? That's snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.



From the Desk of Jerry Jones
Cowboy Stadium

Commissioner
National Football League

Re: Game Length

I would like to open next year's competition committee with a suggestion that the game length be shortened to 55 minutes, down from 60 minutes in the interest of ....er, player safety I guess.

Seriously, I think we can make this work.

Thanks,
JJ

Maybe something new...

Ramblings Post #163
Things can't stay the same. The sun rises and sets, the wind blows, and the Cowboys continue to pin their hopes on the erratic Tony Romo. But most other things change, and as they do we must rise and meet them or be left in the dust of tomorrow.

I am apparently getting new neighbors. I say this because there have workmen, in teams, going over the house across the street from mine. I may not have ever mentioned it, but my house is kinda secluded, with only a single house sort of catty-corner to mine on my end of the block. Which partially accounts for the lovely target my home makes to the local miscreant. When I bought it, the separation was supposed to be a selling point when the area started it's transformation. One man's trash....

That house has been empty since that morning I wandered out to street full of police, people in handcuffs, and screaming babies. As I related here, I decided it was easier to be late that Friday. They were a, um, lively group and I'm sure they found other lodgings that made things...well, whatever. At least there was always somebody there and after I did a favor or two, the matriarch was willing to keep an eye on my place. I didn't even mind the late night traffic.

Okay, I tolerated the late night traffic, considering they were willing to ask people in my yard why they were there. 

And because of the new work being done, I'm certain someone will be renting soon. It's sat vacant, with windows covered for months now. I know the hands are over there, working hard putting down new carpet, fixing windows, painting and all that, because I was awoken at 2am because they were making so much noise I thought they were on my front porch. Standing in my sleep pants peering out my window, ready to dial up the cops on my cell phone holding a makeshift weapon was not fun. But it does mean whoever is renting it is serious, because I can't figure out any other reason they pull the normal contractor shuffle and get work done like ninjas.

Does it mean that life is changing for your friendly neighborhood middle-aged fellow? Who knows, but it's just another cog in the wheel.

Here's hoping they don't have a restless dog.

My Day

Ramblings Post #149
Sometimes, I don't think I'm normal. I have the correct number of fingers and toes, nothing like that. But from time to tome I look at myself and how I do things, and at others and how they do things, and there is a disconnect. Am I only noticing my own disconnect for my personal issues? Does everyone have these same incongruities of life for other areas? If only life came with instructions. With diagrams. And a do over option.



Since I've been an adult, I've never really celebrated my birthday. Now don't get me wrong, I've been some epic parties around the time of my birthday, but those parties were never really for me. You see, as it turns out my RP were born two days apart, and when I first moved to Atlanta he'd already had a regular birthday festival going with another running partner of ours born five days before me. So my birthday just got added to the mix. A number of years passed with a great number of regular party goers never really realizing it was my birthday as well. No big, I had a good time too.

But nothing that was ever uniquely for me. No cake. No songs. Not a lot of presents. Etc.

This started really from being a summer child, living in a subdivision with no other kids. In effect my birthdays as a youth really drilled down to a gift and maybe a dinner with the family. College birthdays were usually a call from the folks (I went to summer school pretty much every year) and a drink or two with a buddy. Atlanta birthdays have been a whirlwind of other folks parties, although by tending bar I usually ended up with an unintentional present, I guess, a fairly large wad of cash. The last few birthdays have been marred by heartbreak and break-ins at the house.

Looking back at that, you can understand why I generally don't make that big a fuss.

This year's excuse is Summer School again, with finals for the shortened semester right around the corner. I call it an excuse, because Shade is going to be in town and is asking what the plan is when I have no plan. My plan was head home from work, eat dinner, have a drink, go to sleep. Maybe a little Playstation in there. The idea of riding around the city with the top down, hitting the clubs just doesn't appeal right now (we're expecting this feeling is a temporary condition).

What do I really want?

Well, first this assumes my AC is working by the end of the week, and that I have furniture, which I don't. But what I really want is a quiet dinner at home with some friends. The kind that ends with folks lazing about, talking about nothing and everything. Where secrets pop out, and truths are told. It's a vibe I used to get after a party was over, when all the stragglers were gone and all that was left was your people and the stories of the good time they just had. We don't live like that anymore. We just don't.

As a second choice, some consensual nudity with a female...er... "friend". Er, I know don't really celebrate my birthday, but I am still a GUY. Testosterone is testosterone. I'm touch with my feelings, and can look into my soul, but let's get realistic. Note: This wish also assumes the AC is working. I'm a guy, but practical.

So, what happens on my birthday? We shall see.

Probably not much.