Not Feeling the Zombie Apocalypse

Ramblings Post #217
Chase your dreams. Or at least try to look at them from time to time. Dreams are your brain running checks in the system, exposing you to things you were even afraid to think while awake. But don't over do it, sometimes you brain just spits out stuff. Let it go.

Walking Dead Shot - So wrong. The highway on the left leads to Freedom Park, the bridge in the distance is 85/75 and leads out of town. The traffic should be on other side of the road trying to get out, not heading to brunch.

Last night I had dreams about zombies. Not once, but three or four times. It was like a triple feature where I went from scenario to scenario, at one point hiding out in a tower - with trash bags in the corridor and brewing beer in hanging bottles(?) - to being back at my parents house praising the loss of power because it meant we could spend more time doing things that were actually important. Oddly, I saw no zombies, but the people in my dreams talked about them a lot. It was one of those things you want to try to interpret, but don't know where to start. Or just not.

I don't particularly like zombies. First, I'm not a big fan of horror. When I was younger I found horror films funny (I cheered for the monster) but the latest breed of horror creations I find too gory. It's how creative can I get without any heart. Sporty and I used to go see them, but only because she wanted to. Watching movies waiting to be scared isn't something I enjoy.

The other reason I don't like zombies is that I think that it's intellectually lazy to use them. As a writer, I think one of the keys of good storytelling is that both the protagonist and the antagonist have viable and believable stories. The villain has to want something - revenge, money, power, etc. to give the hero something to do. And the hero has to have a reason to stop them. Bad villain? Lackluster motivation? Hero involved for no reason? The whole story suffers. The use of zombies sadly eliminates the need for that whole construct. Zombies just want to feed. No ego, no motivation, no plan that has to be worked out or scenario to create to make them believable. Just say they exist and boom, you're done. Even better, all the hero needs to do is kill them, with no real other plan. Sometimes the author gives the hero destination to reach "safety" but the use of zombies is as lazy as sticking vampires into the tale. 

So I don't watch the Walking Dead, nor am I particularly excited about the upcoming movie World War Z and I look past the cover of video games that offer hordes of zombies to blow away. Lazy. The last zombies I liked were on South Park, where it turned out you weren't supposed to kill them! Oops.

Barkeep. Do you have anything with universal themes, strong characters, inventive writing? Oh, you serve drinks, not books? Oh, well pity me then, and not a lot of ice.

Somebody's got a Tiger in their sights

Ramblings Post #103
Sometimes, I amaze myself. Not that time I really thought I could make the jump at 13 and cracked up my bike, not that time I asked that girl to dance right before she threw up on me, or even that time I decided not take that trip and everybody who went had the time of their lives. I mean surprise myself in a good way. Hey, it happens!

A little over six months ago, I suggested on this blog Tiger Woods to get his checkbook out immediately. He had a pre-nup that promised her twenty million and I said he should be generous and double that, generous custody of the kids and all the property she wants.

Now she wants $750 million.

Who is advising him? I mean, somebody call him and tell him to call me...her folks about to have him ass up face down.

In my mind, I can't justify this. Just like Juanita Jordon never put up a jump shot, Elin never swung a club. Okay, that night she swung a club upside his head, but she never sank a putt worth a damn. But at least Juanita was there from the beginning, helping Micheal Jordan become Micheal Jordan brand, this blond chick signed on after the Tiger Train had already left the station. Considering the image he portrayed contrasted against who he really was, in reality she was essentially a hired Woods Corp employee, a rented womb. Let's be real.

Really? She had to be blond? Does he know how crazy the media gets when something happens to a blond?

Worse, some women I heard today feel she deserves it for JUST getting cheated on. I know cheating is a touchy issue, but damn! Um, there are people who get actually hurt by companies who have more resources than Tiger, who with end up with life long, debilitating, disfiguring injuries that will leave them in pain for the next 30 years, and they wouldn't get this kinda money. And she's asking for it for getting her feelings hurt? By actions that in the current day and age and modern media make her the heroic victim, and and don't diminish her, but help her personal brand. She went from doting wife to household name because of this. And she wants it all?

Kiss my ass.

Look, I could see 60 million, and them kids will never be hungry a day in their life. They'd live better than 99% of the people on this earth. Her demand is just anger and pain talking here, and it is despicable.

The real sad part is, she'll probably get most of it. And alimony. For being a "little" freaking embarrassed.

Barkeep, something cool and slippery. Hey, can you make a chocolate shake?

Wait...what?

Goodell is full of it

I hoped to make my next NFL related notation when the Cowboys were 8-0 and looking like juggernauts on a drive to playoffs, but the Pats have forced my hand. This is about some bullshit to the left, and the idea that you can justify what he did borders on the belief in the Great Pumpkin.

The head coach cheats.
Blatantly.
And gives a half-assed apology to no one.
And the commish who's cracking down and getting tough....gives him a fine?

Now this isn't alleged or unproven allegations that there may have been some improprieties. This isn't your name appeared in suspicious or less than reputable company among people of interest. This isn't off the field shenanigans or tomfoolery or criminal activity.

THIS WAS CHEATING AT THE GAME!

And Goodell had the audacity to state he is charged with "maintaining the integrity of the game."

And then to state that their actions had no impact on the game. If it didn't help, then what the hell did you do it for? Knowing the defense play before hand is a huge advantage, and in the hands of QB like Tom Brady, it's like handing him the keys to bakery. If I owned a team that lying ass fuck coach beat, Goodell would have a lot of explaining to do as to why he didn't put the man's shit in a box and show him the door.

Say what you want, all the guys Goodell "cracked down on" never cheated ON the field. Never.

Integrity of the game my ass.

Barkeep...gimme some dirty tequila. in a dirty shot glass.