Monday, December 7, 2009

Tiger by (well, after) some tail

Ramblings Post #71
There is an old country song that fits perfectly with this post. Written by the now wholly artificial Kenny Rogers, the opening strains of "The Gambler" used to be known to a generation. And today, facing a media onslaught and quite possibly an attack on the homefront, the words: "Know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run" have rarely had greater resonance.

I'm not sure who is advising Tiger Woods right now. But whoever it is needs to give that young man the following advice : Get out your checkbook and proceed directly to divorce court.

Had he cheated with one girl or two, it might have been palatable to the wife and we could have had the "stand by your man" story of redemption that turns into a Lifetime movie and an Oprah Winfrey Book Club selection someday. But the Becky's kept falling out of the woodwork, each one a little cheaper than the last. And for a self described "boring guy" and family man, finding out you like'em "cheap and blond with it going on" and that you fly women around the world to hookup looks like hypocrisy. And if it ain't the cover up that gets you, it's the hypocrisy.

Now trailing only Wilt Chamberlain in scoring....

Tiger Woods is poised to enter the pantheon of the great rogues of history but he seems reluctant to embrace his new status. If he were single and trailing a string of women - ala Derek Jeter, or Tom Brady - we wouldn't have batted an eye. Rich and famous and taking advantage of women throwing themselves at you? Er, that's how it's SUPPOSED to work! But the married with kids, and acting as though you don't do this type of thing is the problem.

Which is why you need to: Get out your checkbook and proceed directly to divorce court.

I'm not sure what the media's fascination is with the destruction of the successful black male. Especially one married to the angelic blonde haired and blue eyed model type. Tiger hit OJ and Micheal Jackson saturation at times in the past few days. And while the media was busy digging into, forgive my odd allusion, Tiger's dirty drawers, it seems that Congress still hasn't passed a Health Care Reform Bill AND we announced we're shipping 30,000 more troops off to war. The vaunted fourth estate was dominated however with reports of a male golfer being sorry after he go caught doing what reportedly 60% of all married men do. Repeatedly. And with fairly attractive women.

Why is this news?

And since his "transgressions" have hit double digits, and his wife probably has some self respect left, the odds of her sticking around are right up there with the Detroit Lions making the playoffs. The reality is, what you're really waiting on is the season to end. My advice is just let it go.

With the right PR folks, this will all be old news in 18 months, and you can go back to picking up waitresses in Vegas or wherever and NOBODY will care. So, I reiterate: Get out your checkbook and proceed directly to divorce court.

Barkeep, a little burbon for me, and keep the waitress away from friend.

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