Odd Quotes

Went out for a walk and found myself.

Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn’t have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn’t have to be a walk during which you’ll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don’t find meaning but “steal” some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn’t make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.
~ Albert Camus

A Weekend IN - Stage whatever

Mental Rehab Post #18
There are certain things that are inevitable. Death, taxes and rejection come to mind, but then there are those things that are expected, that you prepare for and yet when they arrive just as you figured, you're still stunned and surprised. This weekend was one of those moments. And all you can do is chalk it up to a loss and keep it moving.

Friday. Well Friday was supposed to be a study night. Get my stuff together, get my mind together and start really studying for this law school thing. Work on my Research project, read through the case work, maybe even get started on the library assignment. I was actually gonna start acting like a real student. Then I got home.

There is nothing quite like walking into your house, and it not feeling like your house anymore. I've lived here a little over a year and other than the first month where someone tried to steal my car had no problems. I'd been lulled into a false sense of security. Friday showed me just how full of shit I was.

Total cash losses are retail maybe $500-$600 bucks. Repair bill and security upgrades maybe another $500 initially and a $1000 later on. Total comfortable level lost is quite possibly priceless. There is a distinct feeling of helplessness, anger and frustration. The police are nonchalant, as I find out unless you catch them in the act, your priority is way down the list.

So I spend Friday night with a window broken, all the lights on and don't go to sleep until 6:30am. There is little studying done.

Saturday is spent waiting. Waiting for the AT&T dude who actually shows up at 9am. So I'm back on line. Then it's cleaning up house and waiting for the window guy and my new alarm guy. Who don't show up until 3 or 4pm. I spend the day trying to figure how much this is going to cost me, lamenting that I'm not gonna get to kickoff my studying the right way and so I'm half watching football - half studying.

They arrive and fix most of the damage and we talk about getting the upgrades and the fixing other stuff and nobody talks money. Which is both comforting and disturbing. Comforting because I know it's all gonna get done, and disturbing because I'm not gonna be able to say anything about how much anything costs when it's all done. I say all done because they'll be back today to finish up.

That night I force myself to go and get a hamburger. It's like I'd staked out the house as a my fort, and since I will eventually have to leave for some reason, sooner is better than later. Get it over with. I cruise up to Five Guys, get my burger and ride back. Nothing happens while I'm gone.

Later, as it's 2am or so and I'm bored and I'd gone through the usual Neatorama, Fark, and Pixdaus as infinitum so I get stupid and join Facebook. Which I'm gonna be honest looks pretty sad. I'm not really seeing what the big deal is. I make a few friend requests and because I'm curious (and not an internet stalker) because she IS still my "friend", I look and damned if Sporty isn't on there. With a picture of him. And I'm stupid for even looking. So it's stress AND nightmares on Saturday. Woooo.

Sunday is laundry day and still cleaning up. And homework, which I work on sporadically. I realize I'm maybe kinda getting depressed. This for the uninitiated is one of the downsides of living alone, there is no one there to either prop you up or fake it for. One of the symptoms of depression is tiredness and I took two naps during the day so I'm either depressed or the stress is catching up with me. Not good. Study and nap. Study and nap.

I'm so paranoid that when I go to the grocery store I take my laptop and digital camera. This is not good either.

I've done the reading for homework but am gonna leave the projects for after class on Monday. I'll pay for it later but I can't concentrate right this second.

Barkeep...that Maker's I been drinking all weekend and the shotgun under the counter please.

New Home Update.

It only took a month and half, four trees cut down, a limb removed, six appointments and seven technicians (the last two came in pairs) but the Direct TV is on at the crib. Oh hell yes!

A friend of mine just slipped me the CEO's phone number as they were having problems with Direct TV as well, but it wasn't needed. I really wish I could go back now and get the other busted ass techs who came out to be required to stop back by and see that it could be done.

-->The little light booty fuck who showed up Saturday at 5pm already on the cellphone to his buddy as he arrived.

-->The little bassid who came out and told me no way, and wouldn't even try.

-->The fucker who rode by and never stopped.

I need all of them to ride by and be required to watch as turn it on, give me a full apology. I was prepared to bet the guy who showed up this morning $20 he could get a signal if he stood where I told him too.

Okay in the ensuing 45 days I've been without, I want to say I've accomplished so much. That I read several novels I wouldn't had time to, started a new work or polished an old, maybe took the time to clean up the house or paint. I would be lying if I said those things. I played games on my computer and watched DVDs.

As an aside, why is every copy of Pirates of the Caribbean from Blockbuster I buy so scratched as the be unwatchable?

I've got the Premier Package (all the channels) and Sunday Ticket (all the NFL games) and Superfan (which I'm not sure will work with my old ass box). I may not be back for a while. I was this close to calling Charter, this -><-- close. So close.

Barkeep....Knob Creek. Leave the bottle. Oh yeah.