Opening a Pandora's Box

This is a political post.

I'm not sure what time the President of the University of Missouri resigned, but I can assure you that fifteen minutes after the announcement that at every university with a sizable athletic program that every campus activist, at least those that already weren't at the athletic dorms because setup looked promising, was headed that way. Every single we will overcome, we must protest, we need a safe space, we need more of program X, the university needs to divest, the the cafeteria is serving green jello and that's the color of money and I am triggered crusader one and all. And you thought the jocks beat out the nerds before? Man, talk about making someone the big man on campus.

I once tried to explain that this is why the President doesn't do everything he's legally allowed to by executive order. All it takes is one, and suddenly you have to have brought enough for everybody. And while this issue may be understandable if not fully justified, the next one may be controversial if not individually self serving and possibly destructive in the longer term. I'm fairly certain there is a political science major down there now explaining to the home team about the power they just found out they possess. At least I hope there is, because they should explain the downsides as well. At the bare minimum let's pray that someone remembers their Spiderman and invokes "with great power comes great responsibility." 

And by the way, the NCAA is in trouble and ain't even know it.

I can already see a protest before the big rivalry game to change school policy on admissions? Or before a bowl appearance to get appropriations for a particular subject? Imagine a threatened walkout before the national championship game to get fill in the blank?

What will play out in the next few months, or possibly even into the college basketball season has the possibility to change the entire idea of college and college athletics as we know it. I'm not even going to go into the NCAA rules involving paying athletes or side jobs, those are obvious. And if this does spill over into basketball season you might go to sleep and wake up to find your Alma mater has had to replace the board to get the team to suit up for the tourney. Think about the implications. It is possible that a particularly persuasive social justice movement may actually cause the implosion of a prominent program if the NCAA feels forced to revive the death penalty in response. 

One only hopes that college athletics have advanced enough that the players realize that only the most serious of subjects deserve this kind of attention and they shouldn't let themselves be manipulated into serving the interests of those who are only interested in them because of the potential power they possess. This was a particularly unique situation, or should be considered so, and thus repeats of this extreme should be rare and infrequent. This should be preached to the team, not necessarily by the coaching staff but by the players to themselves, and if possible to more even keeled of their fellow students.

Well, the box is open. Now let's see what happens. 

And Boom, there goes your bracket...

Ramblings Post #260
I'm just curious as to why Warren Buffett and Quicken Loans only offered a billion dollars. I mean, since nobody was going to win it, why not offer five or ten billion? As I understand it, only the first day of games have been played and more than 99% of the participants are already eliminated. So the only real winner was the intended winner: Quicken Loans...who now have your information. That you gave them. Willingly. Isn't America grand? 

Well, it's the first day, and here we are. Around 9pm last night I wondered if I could sue the NCAA selection committee for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Really, North Dakota? Okay, I picked Harvard, but Dayton? Kiss. My. Ugh.

THE SEEDS WERE A LIE.

Oh, well. More ball today. Should I keep watching, or maybe I'll just load me up some Grand Theft Auto V? Oh, I'm a glutton for punishment. Where is my remote?

Barkeep. Just a beer. Cold. Whatever.

How To Put Together Your Bracket

Ramblings Post #259
March. Wasn't it supposed to warm about now? Hello? Can I get a little heat up in here. I'd like to thank that California station for their bold musical effort to end winter, but I'll guess we'll just have to move on. Basketball! This used to mean the start of the Atlanta Pro Party Circuit. Ah, the good old days.

My brother is not a sports fan, not really. For years he seemed amazed that I would devote time and attention to following my favorite football team. Only recently has he started following a team of his own, the exact rationale of which I'm not sure, although at one point he articulated his interest as the game being a small metaphor for life: No matter what happened on the last play, you have to line for the next play, etc. He may have another motivation now, but I don't know what it is.

This life long attitude is why I wasn't surprised when he asked me about NCAA brackets a week or so ago. I think he's doing this because in his office, much like in every other office in America, it's a thing you do. Print a bracket, put in $5 bucks, and comment on it going forward. Realizing the truth of the matter, that the lottery has better odds, I've taken a few moments to put together a little primer to get him and all the rest of you interested in donating to office pool started.

Step 1. Watch every college basketball game, keeping track of who did what.

I realize that this step is long and tedious, and at this point will require a time machine, two cases of red bull, a unlimited pizza account and a cray supercomputer. Since this particular step may prove a bit pricey and difficult for most, so let's chuck this one and start over. But, if you can afford it, get the time machine with XM, you're gonna be in there a while.

New Step 1.  Print out a bracket.

If you can't find a printable bracket online, you might want to just go ahead and let this go now. Just donate that $5 to the office pool and tell everyone you'll submit it later, then pretend to get busy and forgot. Yeesh, everybody has one. ESPN, CBS Sports, NCAA, Slate, everybody. Okay, I don't have one on here, but I know everyone else does. Just type "printable bracket" into Google. You may need to just type "printable br" and auto fill in will get it.

Step 2. Pretend to do some research.

Traipsing about I found this wonderful tool on HuffPost, which also has a printable bracket. It's a research thing type bracket dealie whatsits that lets you decide how much weight to give to all the pertinent factors - experts, seeding, defense, rebounding - and to all the non-pertinent factors - tuition, graduation rates, etc. Play with it, it's kinda fun.

Or you could read through an ESPN, USA Today or Sporting News article to see who is hurt on which team, who looks hot for the tourney and who is off their game right now. Expert opinions are crucial in pretending to know what you don't know. It won't matter, but do it anyway. Reading is fundamental.

Step 3. Fill in your bracket.

Yes, just fill it in. Let your pretend research guide your hand. Just remember that #1 seeds always beat #16 seeds. Well, there is always a first time they might lose, but what are the odds? And #2 seeds almost always beat #15 seeds. Almost always. After that it gets, well, I want to say tricky but I'm gonna say easy. Pick the higher seed unless you know the team, in which case pick the team you know, unless you know one of the coaches, then pick the coach. Unless of course you know which team has the more prominent shoe contract, or if you read an article about them, in which case flip a coin. Not rock paper scissors, that would be unscientific. If you know a player or a water-boy, pick that team, unless it's Wednesday and you had fries with lunch, then pick the team with dark colored jerseys. Unless the coach has a G in his name. Now, if it's Tuesday and you use a Mac, pick the team whose mascot comes first in the alphabet, otherwise, you'll need some soup bones, some chicken blood and then draw a circle on the ground with 64 numbers around it. Let me look up the spell you'll need.

Your pretend research should have also revealed a few "bracket busters", teams which nobody expected to win and which ruins cumulative wins by removing a team everyone thought would go far. Actually it won't, I'm just playing. You won't see them either, heck, half their fans won't, but it's nice to pretend you did see it, so claim you meant to pick them, but hedged your pick.

Step #4. Relax. 

If anyone asks how you're doing, you always have to "Go check your brackets." Never have it handy. In reality, the only person paying that close attention after day one is the person running the pool. If it's online, he's not even doing that. Feel free to use the phrase, "I think I got that one" after a victory or loss if anyone asks. No one expects you know all the teams or all your picks.

The weird part is I've actually won my office pool in the past. I don't know how, I was told that I did and I accepted my winnings. Just so you know, the odds of picking a perfect bracket, getting all the teams right, are 1 in 9.2 quintillion. I was nowhere near perfect. You see, you don't have to beat those odds, you have to only get luckier than anyone in your pool. As the tourney proceeds, few of the expected winners are going to have off nights and lose. There will be a Cinderella story that will fizzle out before its all over. But in the end we'll all get to see some pretty good basketball, and that's what counts.  

Barkeep, I'll need a bucket of beers, a thing of nachos, a bowl of peanuts, the wing appetizer, and double order of ribs. I don't know if anyone else wants anything. And no, I'm not leaving for a while.

Bracketology 103 - The Final Four

Using one sport term to explain another, I believe I shanked that one. March Madness is over and thanks to a last second Sportcenter worthy moment shot to get to OT, I won my office pool. Yay me! I also said prior to going in that the whole thing would be a waste (the first two games were), with all the games decided well before halftime in this heavyweight bout that would resemble a Rocky movie.

Only I apparently haven't seen a Rocky movie in ages.

There is a reason there are six of them. The first one, from thirty years ago (Damn, how old is Stallone?) ended with Rocky getting his ass beat. It wasn't until the second that he started the long series of improbable victories that became the signature of the series. That and Cousin Paulie. And last night in the Alamo dome, they shot a Rocky movie. Complete with comeback and everything.

When was the last time a Championship game went to overtime? (I'm certain somebody on ESPN has already said) With two minutes left and leading by nine, the rims shrank by six inches at free throw time on the Memphis end of the court. Is Shaq their free throw coach? True the scrappy freshman Rose, whose three that became a two is the story of the game (when did basketball get instant replay?) balled out of control, but in the clinch you got to knock down the gimmes. And Memphis couldn't. Seriously, is Shaq their free throw coach?

So Kansas, with seconds ticking in regulation hits a three to send it to OT (Rocky makes it to the last round on a prayer) then pulls away after getting soundly played the whole rest of the game (Rocky finds the strength/Mick cuts him/he finds the eye of the Tiger/Paulie gets his head rubbed/something) and wins it all.

Sounds like somebody should make a movie about something like this. Oh wait, somebody already did.

Barkeep...water, splash of lime.

Bracketology 102 - the second weekend

It's all come down to this. There is no Cinderella story out of nowhere. There is no Giant killer. There is no sleeper. There is no tourney surprise. For the first time in like ever it's all going according to plan. Sure in the downstream there were a few tweaks here and there, a sliver of hope to make the games interesting, a couple of 12 seeds doing nobody any good, but in the end...all the #1 seeds made it to the Final Four. Which means other than the Georgetown fiasco, I'm doing pretty damn good in my brackets.

Nobody will be playing above their game, and all the crazy scenarios that breeds. What we'll be getting is evenly matched basketball. All of these are conference champs, on hot win streaks, and have been leading the way since they laced'em up in that first practice with Midnight Madness.

So who else thinks none of the games is gonna be any good?

Yeah, I said it. None of the games will be good after 15 minutes. Whoever is leading at halftime can go on and start chanting "We want (fill in the blank here)!" because it won't be a game after that. These aren't scrappy fighters here - flyweights or lightweights trying for any advantage...this the super heavyweight decision, every move calculated. And once we figure out which one Rocky is you can go ahead and write the other guy off. I don't expect lay downs, but I'm not looking for a run in the last five minutes to bring a team back for a last second "oh my god did you see that" Sportscenter moment. Won't happen. Not a chance.

The rest of the pool still in contention has Mr. Hansbrough and the rest of the Tarheels cutting down nets on Monday. I went with Kansas. In one of them pools I went with Kansas. Whatever. Memphis and UCLA have their backs against the wall, as most of their teams will be NBA bound as soon as the agents can race down onto the court after the final whistle. So they'll be ready to play for certain. But in the end, everybody will swinging and as I said, I feel a dominance showing up with 5 mins or so left to play in the first half. In all three games. Call it a hunch.

Somewhere that NCAA exec who runs the basketball wing is calling up the the exec at CBS and reminding him how lucky he his. Look at what we gave you. Come Tuesday I'm betting that CBS exec will be calling back to see if that schmuck can explain what happened.

So that's the call from down in here. No details, no stats and analysis, just a feeling. And that's all I got.

Barkeep - an Hawaiian Punch...in a shot glass.

Here we go again

On January 8 in Glendale Arizona in the We Can Make a Whole Lotta Money College Championship Bowl as presented by Somebody who Paid a lot of Money (I really wasn't paying attention), the SEC's Florida Gators ripped the Ohio State Buckeyes a new one, beyotch slapping them up and down the field and beating the consensus #1 college football team in the country 41-14. This after some speculated that they shouldn't even be there.

(Sidenote - I'll have you know I missed what had to have been one hell of a Gator party cause I really didn't think they'd have a chance.)

Urban Meyer's trashtalking team spanked the more staid Buckeyes, starting what maybe a new rivalry in sports. Of course a new rivalry in sports is hardly a good concept, most of us prefer the old rivalry rife with stories of shenanigans that get people prison terms in today's litgious society. A NEW rivalry is concept that I have a hard time wrapping my mind around. (In this story I'm the old man that the put the what where?) But I digress.

This weekend the Final Four looms, and the possibility of a rematch of the NCAA Football championship teams is a possible for the NCAA Basketball championship game. Somewhere an NCAA marketing exec has ejactulated for the third time today and it still won't go down. A final four with all one or two seeds; the Big Ten, SEC, Pac-10 and Big East fans all have a reason to tune in; and one of the semi-final games is a repeat of last year's Championship.

There he goes again.

Now that pony tailed (technically) brother and the rest of them might be about line up against Ohio State. True Florida won it last year, and became the first team to win both the Football and Basketball championships at the same time, but Ohio State was #1 in this sport too. Unlike the winter meeting though, if this happens it will be clear that the two teams that faced off should be there. All that voting foolishness aside.

NCAA Football...pay attention!

The champ is groggy...the champ is down!

Yesterday marked the start of the annual sports frenzy that is the NCAA March Madness. (which in case you didn't know is trademarked and I could get in trouble for saying that). Every year, offices around the country slowdown as mysterious colds arise on Thursday morning and personal time gets exercised to it's fullest. I cannot tell you how many empty parking spaces there were at my job.

But I dutifully turned in my brackets to the office pool (they say I left Texas A&M empty) and didn't bother to check any scores until after 6pm. All day I heard groans and the phrase "last I heard they were up by six" time and time again as people surrpitiously checked scores all day long. Which if you must know is a bitch at my workplace as the they only alot you and hour of "quota time" a day for no approved websites, under which falls anything carrying sports information. Bastiches.

So one of my picks, one that chose with relish, was Duke losing to VCU in the first round.

Usually the much hated Blue Devils (Bill Simmons of ESPN shouldn't have had to apologize, we all hate Duke) are a one or two seed, and a pick against them is spitting into the wind. But this year they had lost three going in and were a six seed. A SIX, do you hear me? Sixes lose to thirteens all the time, don't they?

So I inked it up, put in my money and went back to work.

After work and somebody's "I gotta better job" leaving party, I crawled into the house and checked my brackets. I'd gone fairly conservative this year(although I did have Gonzanga and Texas Tech), lo and behold, it had happened. The champ was in trouble, the champ was groggy, and with lead that lasted maybe two minutes the champ...was down.

I don't know why I don't like Duke. Maybe it's the perceived arrogance of the program, or the smug fans or that they're always there, in the thick of it every season.

I just know I don't like them. And now they're gone.

Ha ha.

Bartender. Let me get some of that Old Crow.

Why the BCS is the greatest

The Bowl College Series (or the BCS) is the best designed and well constructed concept of it's kind. I state this because it is obvious the that most of the college football obsessed have no clue as to it's actual function. The BCS is not designed to pick a clear winner, but to further muddy the championship picture and create the off-season conversation and bickering that foster the rivialries that sell tons of officially licensed merchandise which fills the coffers of the NCAA, endquote.

It works to so well it's a wonder the NFL hasn't scrapped the Superbowl in favor this system that just invites long-term arguments.

As you may have figured out by now, I'm not really a big college football fan. At my alma mater the game wasn't really the draw. You didn't arrive until the 2nd quarter, you watched the band perform, spent the third quarter trying to find the location of the hottest party and were gone by the 4th. The university also had a paucity of home games, sometimes as few a four, in favor of "Classics" that allowed them to draw bigger audiences from alums reluctant to travel and change the revenue structure in their favor. So I guess I kinda missed out on my indoctrination.

But then if you watch college football, you have to know it's loaded on the top and squeezes out everybody else. A top team really only plays three or four quality games a year and so a team that finishes the season with more than one loss had a horrible season, as they lost in one of the few instances they actually had to play. Be real, the chances of Education is Our Focus University beating We turn out Pro Athletes by the Dozen Tech is slim at best, and it's only the marquee matchups between the afore mentioned Pro Athletes by the Dozen Tech and someplace like say Our Staduim is a Temple to Sport College that really matter. Which actually helps out in the Televison scheduling with the ad dollars, as they don't get spread out due to the paucity of these games.

It's not like the NFL where in a sixteen game schedule "on any given Sunday" one team can beat another. There are some who detract from the professional leagues because it means sometimes a team that went 8-8 is still in the hunt to be the champion, or that occasionally due to the conference setup a team that went 9-7 gets in when a team 10-6 finds itself enjoying an early winter, but the current system used by the pros is light years ahead of the BCS.

I know the BCS doesn't really work, as it is only used for the "top tier" of college football, whereas Division I-AA and Division II (terms the NCAA would prefer we not use) use the old fashioned playoff system. Why not use this at the top tier as well, getting eyeballs on the early bowls that would now actually mean something and giving even more importance to the latter, the middle ground colleges be damned. It's not like the "top tier" schools were educating most of these athletes anyway (look at the graduation rates) so what's a few more weeks until they can hang around campus flashing booster money?

I imagine this will be lost in the wind, another voice crying out in the darkness, but then I'm sitting down at the dark end of the bar, so my voice should have a little company.

Hey, barkeep...Marker's Mark with a dash of Sprite.