Sunday, August 30, 2009

Bar Chatter

Bar Chatter #3
When it's not enough to make a post, but deserves to go out to the world... it's just Bar Chatter.




Joining Armageddon on the list of films I practically know by heart but will watch again and again and again: Smokey and the Bandit. But why do they only show it at like midnight? And I did not realize that Sally Field's ass was that nice.

Friday, August 28, 2009

A Quack who's gone to the Dogs!

Ramblings Post #54
There are a number of things that make me wonder if the grand creator really knows what he's doing or maybe, just maybe, he's just occasionally rolling the dice and seeing what happens just to spice things up.


A few weeks ago, Chatty Mogul took a dog on option. That's how he described it. One of our coworkers with small children chose his kids over the dog (fie upon you PETA) and found the dog a new home with Chatty. They had an agreement that he would keep the dog for a month or so and if he didn't like it the family would take it back, and probably take him to the pound.

I feel so sorry for that dog. Damned either way.

So for the past few weeks, mixed in with stock tips, stories of how he built a purse sized ice maker for his stepmother, learning options trading, and the occasional foray into his actual job, he's been having dog conversations with other dog owners, eliciting dog advice, looking up dog information but mostly Chatty has been telling dog stories. Ad nasuem.

The dog eats dry food.
The dog makes him seem less creepy to the neighbors The dog needs exercise. The dog's training went well. The dog's training failed. The dog eats canned food. He needs a fence because of the dog The dog almost bit him. The dog is very intelligent. The dog doesn't trust him. Etc, etc so on....

We don't call him the Chatty Mogul for nothing. Once when he made a startled outburst I mistakenly asked "what's wrong?" only to be shot derisive looks by co-workers and I'm fairly certain one of the girls popped a garrote she keeps handy just in case Chatty just won't shut up. She didn't look to happy I'd asked that either. Luckily, he didn't hear me. I'd momentarily forgotten you don't ask him questions if you could help it. Brain lock.

I'd describe Chatty as our office's version of Cheer's Cliff Clavin, but only without the charm or good looks.

The rest of Moguls are just moguling. Naive mogul still seems to believe he can beat the market, crying in the past few days about a 40% loss on his investment that went back up as soon as he got out of it, and yet in the next breath extolling the virtues of his "system" based on moving averages and USA today news updates or his new ventures into stock options. Daddy Mogul is on diet, with a trainer. For a while I thought he and Chatty Mogul would end up the same size, but I think he finally realized that he doesn't want to end up like his partner in crime. I've often thought of him as the medium between Chatty and Naive, as the young one is Abercrombie & Fitch slim. For the sake of his kid I hope he makes it down a healthier size.

Now, in my minor experience in school and watching my brother do it a few years ago (day trading), people who make money investing tend to watch their stocks like hawks. The office moguls use the stock tracker apps on
their iPhones when they can take a few minutes, but for the most part make even casual investors look like scholars. This does not stop their conversations regarding their prowess.

There are days when it's like a comedy show. I won't even discuss how Naive Mogul rambled through his bastardized version of GI Joe, trampling my childhood memories and sounding like a guy who better pray he stays slim and A & F pretty all his life.

Barkeep...something. Anything.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

First class, first impressions...

Ramblings Post #53
Ah law school. I had started wandering into the office as late as noon, and spent my nights aimlessly searching the web and putting off little things I really needed to do because I could always get to them later. I think I really needed school to get my mind back into gear and make me stop wasting the hours and minutes and everything else. Because I was getting lazy. Too too lazy. And that's not good.


There is something about that room I just don't like.

The fall session of Law School kicked off Tuesday night and it was great to see a few faces that I hadn't seen since the spring. We spent the few minutes before class catching up, saying hi and trying to figure out who had given up the ghost. Since we're all pretty much confined to the same classes, we kinda know who is in and who is out. And thoughtfully, a few us remembered "the room". When I say that I mean our professor came in a did what most of our law school professors have done: have everyone move up front.

This is not to say everyone sat in the back row, it's just that the prof wanted (and of course got) the front row filled in. To do it she emptied the back row, and then the next to the last row. She claimed it was because she didn't want to have to yell. I wanted to mention we were in classroom not a barn, but I wisely kept my mouth shut. That same move up foolishness thing happened last time we were in that room. Then she made us fill out place cards with our names on them so she could read them and learn who we were. One side I wrote my name. On the other side I wrote "Don Pardo".

It felt very elementary school. I wanted milk and cookies. Then she started teaching. And it didn't feel elementary school anymore.

She's a good teacher, but very animated. And I think she seemed a little surprised that we'd done our homework, considering it was the first class. It will be a couple of weeks before I can be sure, but I think she's gonna be a cool teach.

And I discovered the pizza bagel. It was during the break, and the usual university meal spot wasn't open, so we went down to Einstein's Bagels, which I had never been to before. I see them all over, but I could never figure out why I want a bagel after breakfast time. I looked over the menu and decided because I was adventurous to have the pizza bagel. She popped it into this thermo oven that looked industrial and about a minute later put in a box. It looked interesting. It tasted fantastic. Or maybe I was just damned hungry.

So with class over I went home the did what I should have done Sunday, which was read the Constitution for one of the other classes. I'd planned to go over it in detail Sunday morning, but one of my Facebook people said that they didn't even use the Constitution in a class about the Constitution! So I slept in. Then I go online Monday and get the assignment: Bing! Read the Constitution.

I see what you did there. Tricky bassids.

Barkeep. One last one for the road. And a beer back. And a shot. Hell, set'tem up again.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Bar Chatter

Bar Chatter#2
When it's not enough to make a post, but deserves to go out to the world... it's just Bar Chatter.



Is Mafia Facebook's verison of that damned World of Warcraft? I mean jeez, everyday I get an update on what's happening in the game. Which is amazing because I have the settings marked for no notification! What I'm getting are updates from players accomplishments and what not. I'm am so tired of that mess.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

The New Terrorists are American

This is a political post.

In this country we have a system. Every so often we sit down and we all vote and decided that the great ship of state either should stay the course or change direction. It was devised ages ago by our founding fathers, a system that guides this great state we call home on a slow path towards the future.

And in this country we lament for those without our freedoms. Of other states whose governments are not ruled by law or civil discourse, but people screaming in the streets and threats of death. We decry the places where uninformed and narrow minded people are manipulated by a powerful few into mobs and feel compelled to use fear and force to get a point across, one that serves no purpose for the greater good other than to keep those in power in power....

This is what you would say if you lived in Australia or maybe New Zealand and were talking down to America.

Yes. Down to us. Because with Democratic senators by the score receiving death threats for supporting health care reform in this country you begin to wonder if this America or some third world nation run by some feverish religious coalition. And in the America I grew up in, if you didn't like what the government did you marched, you carried signs and gathered signatures, you organized and got the word out, and you got legislation passed and went to court, but showing up to see the President with a gun got you jail time and screaming at elected officials meant you were nuts.

You see the new terrorists aren't Muslim or Iraqi or live in the Middle East or live in caves and want us all to die. The new terrorists are American, who eat at Denny's, live in nice neighborhoods and root for home team on Saturdays. But they're just as uneducated, just as uninformed as that frustrated follower of Islam on the far side of the world who joins the "cause" because he sees an idealistic way of life (that doesn't actually exist) threatened. The new terrorists disrupt meetings with displays of anger, spewing forth emotionally charged nonsense. They quote conjecture and use their fury to deflect honest conversation and dialogue. The new terrorist is the suddenly "powerless" (not realizing they had no power before), the suddenly wrong in the face of the facts, the people afraid of change.

I say uninformed, as the idea that the government would hold "death hearings" to decide if someone will be productive to society is patently absurd and a baldface lie. Especially in light of the fact that our current system of private insurers do actually do have "death panels", those actuaries and executives that routinely deny healthcare and discontinue coverage letting people die in the interest of profit.

I say uninformed, as the protesters demand the government "keep it's hands off medicare", what I guess they consider a well run system, when medicare IS a government program, and it's very existence proves that the government won't kill old people or decide that autistic children will be put to death, and that the government CAN run a health program.

I say people afraid of change because the current system they scream and holler to keep will bankrupt itself much like Wall Street did, and this time it won't take our money but our lives doing it. And instead of embracing the possibility, the protesters embrace the concept of static. But that leads nowhere.

And I call them terrorists because they employ the use of fear and raw emotion instead of fact and information. Congressmen receiving death threats over legislation designed to help 50 million Americans? Although the President flubbed the line, his statement is true. Much as the existence of the post office did not stop the creation of or threaten the future existence of companies like UPS and FedEx, a "public" option for healthcare wouldn't destroy the whole system. What it does it is offer an alternative, and to some degree keeps the private companies honest and striving to differentiate themselves. Knowing that if they charge too much customers will go to the Post Office makes UPS more efficient and a better firm, in an effort to keep costs and therefore prices down.

That the word "socialist" now fills in for both 1950's fear mongering terms "communist" and the "N" word is a whole other matter. The fact that we've lived in a blend of capitalism and socialism since the 1930s seems to have escaped everyone.

The grand problem of playing with terrorists, and by playing I mean taking them on, is that to defeat them you have to get even nastier than they do. One of the things that happens in countries that promote terrorist activities is the demonetization of the enemy. The problem is once you've won, how do you turn it off? As soon as one "enemy" is defeated, a new one will have to be manufactured to sustain the only thing that gives the group life. In Iraq, as the Americans left, the terrorists began attacking forces of the law in general. It will take a generation before it calms again. Do we really want that here?

I find it amazing that despite the fact that Wall Street ate itself and had to be bailed out by the US government in the last 18 months goes by the boards when someone says we need to stop the Healthcare industry before it does the same. History's lessons appear to be forgotten even quicker than normal in this digital "instant" age. The idea that we can fix this now, create a blended system of a baseline system of care with premium care for those who want to afford it seems to have been lost on the masses.

Do those who disagree with healthcare reform need to shut up and get with the program? Hell no, we live in America. But in America we have a way of doing things, and quite frankly this methodology ain't it.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Bar Chatter

Bar Chatter#1
When it's not enough to make a post, but deserves to go out to the world... it's just Bar Chatter.




Three classes this fall, three nights a week. Five books, just five books. Looked them up online and if I can find used they should only run me about $425 dollars. If I have to go all new, which is a closer to reality proposition, probably closer to $540. Isn't education grand? Oh, and I'll need the parking pass which is another $250. Really, isn't education grand. [insert sarcasm here]

Didn't I just lose/break two cellphones?