Ramblings Post #86
The more things change...well, the more they change. One of the few constants in the world is that things always change. No matter how much we enjoy the now, it won't be around for long. People get old, change desks, actually start working instead of sitting around talking about how much they drank the night before. Or at least they change desks so I don't have to listen to it anymore. Whatever...
There was a time, not oh so very long ago, when the Moguls surrounded me, and the world was a cacophony of noise and excitement. Distractions abounded and one would wonder if any actual work was being done as the conversations of the day reigned. Well, if any work was being done by them, I'm generally busting my ass.
Then, they moved Chatty Mogul and with him went his stories of dogs, recliner bikes, and fantasy diet plans that would turn him into an Adonis. Well, maybe not an Adonis, but less...fluffy. Swollen. Rotund, yes, that's it, a diet to make him less rotund.
And yesterday, they moved Daddy Mogul, and so his tales of minor investing and plans to be doing something else will now be moving on to the next fresh set of ears. And with Daddy Mogul goes Naive Mogul, whose incredibly fortunate existence will continue to the squandered by a man who doesn't realize the value of anything.What I mean by Naive goes with Daddy is that the daily visits by Naive Mogul to his buddy's desk - formerly right next to mine - for sometimes hour long diatribes and fantasy sessions are moving to a new location.
You know, I think Naive Mogul is the first example of failing upward that I've actually met in person.
I'm certain there will be more tales of them and from them, but as they move to cosier confines, there is a new air of peace surrounding my workspace here at the "chicken plucking factory." And no, I don't miss them already.
Wait, is that Snakeman Sr talking about his home brewery? Please don't let it be so.
Barkeep...something nice and quiet to mark the occasion.
Showing posts with label Office Moguls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Office Moguls. Show all posts
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Friday, December 11, 2009
The Office Moguls...the continuing saga
Ramblings Post #73
There are some people who, when you think about it, don't really know. You know? I mean they really don't have a clue about how the world works outside of that insular little bubble they've somehow managed to construct. Sometimes it's because of money, sometimes it's ideals, and other times it's just they're completely oblivious. And then sometimes, it's because you're a Mogul...even though you work with the rest of us.
Naive Mogul is back at the stocks. Apparently his father has given him a few more dollars to play with. He asked one of the actual learned and disciplined investors for advice, and because neither of them do any real work I half listened to them discuss strategies for like Chatty Mogul was there (thank God he wasn't). It's funny because the actual investor, who has dedicated money from each check going to an investment account he manages using tools he actually paid professional investors is being talked down to by Naive Mogul, who uses USA Today and Yahoo to guess at investments.
Daddy Mogul is experiencing the joys of contracting. He getting some work done on the house and his contractor, like every other contractor who doesn't have his own television show, hasn't shown up. He's spending more time "working from home" waiting for the contactor to show up than seems logical.
Chatty Mogul is...indecipherable. Chatty Mogul spent the last 24 months as the, hum...er.... "Head of Chicken Plucking Knowledge", the job he wasn't doing when he was doing everything else. Recently, at his own requests because the one monthly reports were just too much pressure, he was moved back to plain ole' "Chicken Plucking", something he did for two years before his promotion. Now of course, he's forgotten how to hold a chicken, how to pluck a chicken, and how to tell if a chicken has been plucked. A few days ago he spent the better part of hour avoiding his job arguing how he doesn't avoid doing his job.
And just when I thought it was over, because to do the regular "Chicken Plucking" your desk has to be much further away from mine and you actually have to pay attention to what you are doing and so where I thought I wouldn't be inundated with updates of the dear boy's life, management wants me to train Chatty Mogul on my job as a third tier backup person.
Oh joy.
If you see a news article "Man beats coworker after repeated dumb questions", that will be me.
Pray for me.
Barkeep, something to numb the pain.
There are some people who, when you think about it, don't really know. You know? I mean they really don't have a clue about how the world works outside of that insular little bubble they've somehow managed to construct. Sometimes it's because of money, sometimes it's ideals, and other times it's just they're completely oblivious. And then sometimes, it's because you're a Mogul...even though you work with the rest of us.
Naive Mogul is back at the stocks. Apparently his father has given him a few more dollars to play with. He asked one of the actual learned and disciplined investors for advice, and because neither of them do any real work I half listened to them discuss strategies for like Chatty Mogul was there (thank God he wasn't). It's funny because the actual investor, who has dedicated money from each check going to an investment account he manages using tools he actually paid professional investors is being talked down to by Naive Mogul, who uses USA Today and Yahoo to guess at investments.
Daddy Mogul is experiencing the joys of contracting. He getting some work done on the house and his contractor, like every other contractor who doesn't have his own television show, hasn't shown up. He's spending more time "working from home" waiting for the contactor to show up than seems logical.
Chatty Mogul is...indecipherable. Chatty Mogul spent the last 24 months as the, hum...er.... "Head of Chicken Plucking Knowledge", the job he wasn't doing when he was doing everything else. Recently, at his own requests because the one monthly reports were just too much pressure, he was moved back to plain ole' "Chicken Plucking", something he did for two years before his promotion. Now of course, he's forgotten how to hold a chicken, how to pluck a chicken, and how to tell if a chicken has been plucked. A few days ago he spent the better part of hour avoiding his job arguing how he doesn't avoid doing his job.
And just when I thought it was over, because to do the regular "Chicken Plucking" your desk has to be much further away from mine and you actually have to pay attention to what you are doing and so where I thought I wouldn't be inundated with updates of the dear boy's life, management wants me to train Chatty Mogul on my job as a third tier backup person.
Oh joy.
If you see a news article "Man beats coworker after repeated dumb questions", that will be me.
Pray for me.
Barkeep, something to numb the pain.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Trippy
Ramblings Post #69
Sometimes bad things happen to bad people. But more often than not, good stuff happens to bad people, and then keeps happening and then continues on as long as you can stand to watch it. This is how some people get rich, despite certain personality attributes that would normally render them "beat down". Every now and then though, they slip. And it makes the world right again.
Last week, apparently upon his own initiative, Naive Mogul decided to hold a meeting. As long as I have been with my current "chicken plucking" firm, we've been trying to implement a system that eliminates, well, er...error in chicken plucking. The idea's been tossed around and put on the back burner more than a few times, but apparently it was time to drag the old beast out again.
It is Naive Mogul's plan to show he really should be management by implementing something.
The meeting was a rehash of old ideas, wasting a good hour and half of my day. We don't go through his printed agenda as it's unfocused, he leaves out whole sections of the process that we have to go back and fill in, he doesn't know what the new process will do the existing processes, he's not sure of the value of adding the new process and we spend the bulk of the meeting deciding which "chickens" to which we even want to apply the new process. Typical first meeting stuff, you know how it goes if you've ever worked in an office: You've hashed out some basics, everyone gets a few assignments to report back and we schedule the next meeting to work over them, repeat until you get something workable.
Naive Mogul then announces, as I start to get up to leave, "at the next meeting we'll talk implementation."
One meeting and implementation? Um...no.
There is a momentary silence.
There is that quiet, almost furtive look around that everybody does, because somebody is going to have to burst his bubble, and they don't want to be the one.
Then the tech guy, whom he invited because it's a "tech" process, starts into him. He's the one guy not in the usual chain. The tech guy basically explains how you have a complete and through implementation process. Tech guy goes over what all is required to fully document a process as it exists now, and how future changes will affect that process, the pros and cons of the changes proposed, value gained etc, and why certain people invited to this meeting probably didn't need to be invited (that would mean me!). Basically in front of four or five senior people, including Naive's boss (via conference call), he told him that he doesn't know what he's doing.
And then I got up and left.
Barkeep. A shot of the Russian vodka.
Sometimes bad things happen to bad people. But more often than not, good stuff happens to bad people, and then keeps happening and then continues on as long as you can stand to watch it. This is how some people get rich, despite certain personality attributes that would normally render them "beat down". Every now and then though, they slip. And it makes the world right again.
Last week, apparently upon his own initiative, Naive Mogul decided to hold a meeting. As long as I have been with my current "chicken plucking" firm, we've been trying to implement a system that eliminates, well, er...error in chicken plucking. The idea's been tossed around and put on the back burner more than a few times, but apparently it was time to drag the old beast out again.
It is Naive Mogul's plan to show he really should be management by implementing something.
The meeting was a rehash of old ideas, wasting a good hour and half of my day. We don't go through his printed agenda as it's unfocused, he leaves out whole sections of the process that we have to go back and fill in, he doesn't know what the new process will do the existing processes, he's not sure of the value of adding the new process and we spend the bulk of the meeting deciding which "chickens" to which we even want to apply the new process. Typical first meeting stuff, you know how it goes if you've ever worked in an office: You've hashed out some basics, everyone gets a few assignments to report back and we schedule the next meeting to work over them, repeat until you get something workable.
Naive Mogul then announces, as I start to get up to leave, "at the next meeting we'll talk implementation."
One meeting and implementation? Um...no.
There is a momentary silence.
There is that quiet, almost furtive look around that everybody does, because somebody is going to have to burst his bubble, and they don't want to be the one.
Then the tech guy, whom he invited because it's a "tech" process, starts into him. He's the one guy not in the usual chain. The tech guy basically explains how you have a complete and through implementation process. Tech guy goes over what all is required to fully document a process as it exists now, and how future changes will affect that process, the pros and cons of the changes proposed, value gained etc, and why certain people invited to this meeting probably didn't need to be invited (that would mean me!). Basically in front of four or five senior people, including Naive's boss (via conference call), he told him that he doesn't know what he's doing.
And then I got up and left.
Barkeep. A shot of the Russian vodka.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Office Breaks and Gold Ping Pong Paddles
Ramblings Post #67
The office is a strange place. You go early in the day, sometimes before the sun comes up, meet and hang out with mostly like minded folks doing pretty much what you're doing for 8 or 10 hours a day and then....go home to real life? If I'm not mistaken, that job is your Real Life, and what you do at home is get ready for it, relax after it and on weekends recover from it. And yet it's taboo to try to pick up dates there. In the dominant part of your life. Go figure.
Sometime ago, while cleaning out her rec room, the director of the department I work in decided to upgrade their family Ping Pong table. And rather than throw the old one out, they took down a few empty cubicles here in the office (there seem to be so many lately) and set up the Ping Pong Lounge, complete with futon couch and chairs, so that we could relax. On Breaks, during lunch and when we weren't working.
This has resulted in sweaty Ping Pong players coming to my desk to ask about client questions.
If you ask me what I do, I am for the most part a professional chicken plucker. It's easier to tell you that than explain what it is I actually do with technology and client's and other people's time. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. So when the Office Moguls and the rest of the office gang aren't plucking chickens, they're playing Ping Pong. A whole lot of Ping Pong.
I knew it had gotten out of hand when.... a) they began purchasing new equipment...like the $50 Ping Pong paddle, b) they started to hang around on Friday night AFTER work to play Ping Pong and finally when c) they started a collection to purchase a NEW Ping Pong table. Yeah, they asked me for money for a game I don't even have time the play. I hear managers looking for people to get stuff done, knowing these fools are on the table. I'm certain in the team meetings "Ping Pong time management" has been discussed.
Sometimes as I'm creeping out on Friday night to go fall into a law book, I'll see someone who has been off for two hours waiting to play. Or someone hovering above the table waiting to return a tricky serve and I'll pass their waiting wife in the parking lot. Is there something about Ping Pong I'm missing? I hear "come and be graced by this whipping I'm about to give you" and other Ping Pong challenges and exhortations on the floor. Guys discussing serves and returns, angles and stances. I get the impression before long I'll get the email about a company "Ping Pong Tourney" complete with prizes.
Hath the Ping and the Pong cometh for us?
If you are looking for a job and getting frustrated, you should be pissed. Because some of the folks still working don't appreciate what they have, and are mad they can't go to the office and just play Ping Pong all day.
Barkeep. A whiskey and soda for me, and round of beers for the guys at the Ping Pong table. They're not going anywhere.
The office is a strange place. You go early in the day, sometimes before the sun comes up, meet and hang out with mostly like minded folks doing pretty much what you're doing for 8 or 10 hours a day and then....go home to real life? If I'm not mistaken, that job is your Real Life, and what you do at home is get ready for it, relax after it and on weekends recover from it. And yet it's taboo to try to pick up dates there. In the dominant part of your life. Go figure.
Sometime ago, while cleaning out her rec room, the director of the department I work in decided to upgrade their family Ping Pong table. And rather than throw the old one out, they took down a few empty cubicles here in the office (there seem to be so many lately) and set up the Ping Pong Lounge, complete with futon couch and chairs, so that we could relax. On Breaks, during lunch and when we weren't working.This has resulted in sweaty Ping Pong players coming to my desk to ask about client questions.
If you ask me what I do, I am for the most part a professional chicken plucker. It's easier to tell you that than explain what it is I actually do with technology and client's and other people's time. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. So when the Office Moguls and the rest of the office gang aren't plucking chickens, they're playing Ping Pong. A whole lot of Ping Pong.
I knew it had gotten out of hand when.... a) they began purchasing new equipment...like the $50 Ping Pong paddle, b) they started to hang around on Friday night AFTER work to play Ping Pong and finally when c) they started a collection to purchase a NEW Ping Pong table. Yeah, they asked me for money for a game I don't even have time the play. I hear managers looking for people to get stuff done, knowing these fools are on the table. I'm certain in the team meetings "Ping Pong time management" has been discussed.
Sometimes as I'm creeping out on Friday night to go fall into a law book, I'll see someone who has been off for two hours waiting to play. Or someone hovering above the table waiting to return a tricky serve and I'll pass their waiting wife in the parking lot. Is there something about Ping Pong I'm missing? I hear "come and be graced by this whipping I'm about to give you" and other Ping Pong challenges and exhortations on the floor. Guys discussing serves and returns, angles and stances. I get the impression before long I'll get the email about a company "Ping Pong Tourney" complete with prizes.
Hath the Ping and the Pong cometh for us?If you are looking for a job and getting frustrated, you should be pissed. Because some of the folks still working don't appreciate what they have, and are mad they can't go to the office and just play Ping Pong all day.
Barkeep. A whiskey and soda for me, and round of beers for the guys at the Ping Pong table. They're not going anywhere.
Friday, October 23, 2009
So they loaded up the Truck, and moved...
Ramblings Post #65
A shrewd investor I read back in the day, when I read investment advice like some men read a sports page, advised that during a calamity, one needs to look for bargains. And if the current state of Wall Street isn't a calamity, I'm not sure what would qualify. The problem I have now is that my tools are so rusty, I can't accurately tell what's a deal and what isn't. Now I at one time had the skills....think about what the Moguls are up against.
"So I made $3,000 like a month ago. But then this month I've lost $4,0000. And I spent $2,000 getting my car fixed. But if this other stock ...."
And the moguls continue.
It still amazing to me that Naive Mogul still has a belief that he can beat the market. Listening to him and Daddy Mogul talk - and it's not like I'm trying to listen, he talks loud - the concept that maybe just maybe they can't win just has not occurred to him. At any point. Not in all the months he's been trying. Naive Mogul is afraid that at the end of the year he'll have to cut his losses and see if he can get some more money - cry to his father - so he can invest again. Actually, I believe the word he used was play.
Even in the worst of times, those privileged live in a fantasy world.
He hasn't realized that like in Vegas, the only way to win is if you own the casino.
Chatty Mogul has rejoined the general work group, and by his own estimation the days seem to go a lot faster as of late. Well, since he's working as opposed to sitting about and talking about his 1) house, 2) dog, 3) diet, 4) inventions, 5) his grand ideas for the future, or whatever other crazy thought strikes him.
Side note: Two weeks ago Chatty was considering law school. I advised him to get a study guide and maybe take a prep course before taking the LSAT, but he figured he would just go take it cold to see what it was all about, then if he felt he could do it, he would study and take it again. When advised against doing that, and why that was a horrendously bad idea (they would average the scores, not take the highest) he quickly lost interest.
After Naive and Daddy discussed their losses for at least 20 minutes - this stock won't move, this other stock took a dive, etc and so on, they started on Daddy Mogul's new health plan. Which is infinitely more interesting, as the man is actually losing weight. The point where their "boss" walked by and asked what they were doing. When the boss (and my boss too), who is only in the office maybe twice a week, and in our area away from her multiple meetings, for maybe and hour or so a day, can spot you're not really working, what's really going on.
I mean really.
Am I wrong for hoping Naive gets wiped out? And actually has to maybe, do his job to live? Then I guess I'll just have to be wrong.
A shrewd investor I read back in the day, when I read investment advice like some men read a sports page, advised that during a calamity, one needs to look for bargains. And if the current state of Wall Street isn't a calamity, I'm not sure what would qualify. The problem I have now is that my tools are so rusty, I can't accurately tell what's a deal and what isn't. Now I at one time had the skills....think about what the Moguls are up against.
"So I made $3,000 like a month ago. But then this month I've lost $4,0000. And I spent $2,000 getting my car fixed. But if this other stock ...."
And the moguls continue.
It still amazing to me that Naive Mogul still has a belief that he can beat the market. Listening to him and Daddy Mogul talk - and it's not like I'm trying to listen, he talks loud - the concept that maybe just maybe they can't win just has not occurred to him. At any point. Not in all the months he's been trying. Naive Mogul is afraid that at the end of the year he'll have to cut his losses and see if he can get some more money - cry to his father - so he can invest again. Actually, I believe the word he used was play.
Even in the worst of times, those privileged live in a fantasy world.
He hasn't realized that like in Vegas, the only way to win is if you own the casino.
Chatty Mogul has rejoined the general work group, and by his own estimation the days seem to go a lot faster as of late. Well, since he's working as opposed to sitting about and talking about his 1) house, 2) dog, 3) diet, 4) inventions, 5) his grand ideas for the future, or whatever other crazy thought strikes him.
Side note: Two weeks ago Chatty was considering law school. I advised him to get a study guide and maybe take a prep course before taking the LSAT, but he figured he would just go take it cold to see what it was all about, then if he felt he could do it, he would study and take it again. When advised against doing that, and why that was a horrendously bad idea (they would average the scores, not take the highest) he quickly lost interest.
After Naive and Daddy discussed their losses for at least 20 minutes - this stock won't move, this other stock took a dive, etc and so on, they started on Daddy Mogul's new health plan. Which is infinitely more interesting, as the man is actually losing weight. The point where their "boss" walked by and asked what they were doing. When the boss (and my boss too), who is only in the office maybe twice a week, and in our area away from her multiple meetings, for maybe and hour or so a day, can spot you're not really working, what's really going on.
I mean really.
Am I wrong for hoping Naive gets wiped out? And actually has to maybe, do his job to live? Then I guess I'll just have to be wrong.
Friday, August 28, 2009
A Quack who's gone to the Dogs!
Ramblings Post #54
There are a number of things that make me wonder if the grand creator really knows what he's doing or maybe, just maybe, he's just occasionally rolling the dice and seeing what happens just to spice things up.
A few weeks ago, Chatty Mogul took a dog on option. That's how he described it. One of our coworkers with small children chose his kids over the dog (fie upon you PETA) and found the dog a new home with Chatty. They had an agreement that he would keep the dog for a month or so and if he didn't like it the family would take it back, and probably take him to the pound.
I feel so sorry for that dog. Damned either way.
So for the past few weeks, mixed in with stock tips, stories of how he built a purse sized ice maker for his stepmother, learning options trading, and the occasional foray into his actual job, he's been having dog conversations with other dog owners, eliciting dog advice, looking up dog information but mostly Chatty has been telling dog stories. Ad nasuem.
The dog eats dry food. The dog makes him seem less creepy to the neighbors The dog needs exercise. The dog's training went well. The dog's training failed. The dog eats canned food. He needs a fence because of the dog The dog almost bit him. The dog is very intelligent. The dog doesn't trust him. Etc, etc so on....
We don't call him the Chatty Mogul for nothing. Once when he made a startled outburst I mistakenly asked "what's wrong?" only to be shot derisive looks by co-workers and I'm fairly certain one of the girls popped a garrote she keeps handy just in case Chatty just won't shut up. She didn't look to happy I'd asked that either. Luckily, he didn't hear me. I'd momentarily forgotten you don't ask him questions if you could help it. Brain lock.
I'd describe Chatty as our office's version of Cheer's Cliff Clavin, but only without the charm or good looks.
The rest of Moguls are just moguling. Naive mogul still seems to believe he can beat the market, crying in the past few days about a 40% loss on his investment that went back up as soon as he got out of it, and yet in the next breath extolling the virtues of his "system" based on moving averages and USA today news updates or his new ventures into stock options. Daddy Mogul is on diet, with a trainer. For a while I thought he and Chatty Mogul would end up the same size, but I think he finally realized that he doesn't want to end up like his partner in crime. I've often thought of him as the medium between Chatty and Naive, as the young one is Abercrombie & Fitch slim. For the sake of his kid I hope he makes it down a healthier size.
Now, in my minor experience in school and watching my brother do it a few years ago (day trading), people who make money investing tend to watch their stocks like hawks. The office moguls use the stock tracker apps on their iPhones when they can take a few minutes, but for the most part make even casual investors look like scholars. This does not stop their conversations regarding their prowess.
There are days when it's like a comedy show. I won't even discuss how Naive Mogul rambled through his bastardized version of GI Joe, trampling my childhood memories and sounding like a guy who better pray he stays slim and A & F pretty all his life.
Barkeep...something. Anything.
There are a number of things that make me wonder if the grand creator really knows what he's doing or maybe, just maybe, he's just occasionally rolling the dice and seeing what happens just to spice things up.
A few weeks ago, Chatty Mogul took a dog on option. That's how he described it. One of our coworkers with small children chose his kids over the dog (fie upon you PETA) and found the dog a new home with Chatty. They had an agreement that he would keep the dog for a month or so and if he didn't like it the family would take it back, and probably take him to the pound.
I feel so sorry for that dog. Damned either way.
So for the past few weeks, mixed in with stock tips, stories of how he built a purse sized ice maker for his stepmother, learning options trading, and the occasional foray into his actual job, he's been having dog conversations with other dog owners, eliciting dog advice, looking up dog information but mostly Chatty has been telling dog stories. Ad nasuem.
The dog eats dry food. The dog makes him seem less creepy to the neighbors The dog needs exercise. The dog's training went well. The dog's training failed. The dog eats canned food. He needs a fence because of the dog The dog almost bit him. The dog is very intelligent. The dog doesn't trust him. Etc, etc so on....
We don't call him the Chatty Mogul for nothing. Once when he made a startled outburst I mistakenly asked "what's wrong?" only to be shot derisive looks by co-workers and I'm fairly certain one of the girls popped a garrote she keeps handy just in case Chatty just won't shut up. She didn't look to happy I'd asked that either. Luckily, he didn't hear me. I'd momentarily forgotten you don't ask him questions if you could help it. Brain lock.
I'd describe Chatty as our office's version of Cheer's Cliff Clavin, but only without the charm or good looks.
The rest of Moguls are just moguling. Naive mogul still seems to believe he can beat the market, crying in the past few days about a 40% loss on his investment that went back up as soon as he got out of it, and yet in the next breath extolling the virtues of his "system" based on moving averages and USA today news updates or his new ventures into stock options. Daddy Mogul is on diet, with a trainer. For a while I thought he and Chatty Mogul would end up the same size, but I think he finally realized that he doesn't want to end up like his partner in crime. I've often thought of him as the medium between Chatty and Naive, as the young one is Abercrombie & Fitch slim. For the sake of his kid I hope he makes it down a healthier size.
Now, in my minor experience in school and watching my brother do it a few years ago (day trading), people who make money investing tend to watch their stocks like hawks. The office moguls use the stock tracker apps on their iPhones when they can take a few minutes, but for the most part make even casual investors look like scholars. This does not stop their conversations regarding their prowess.
There are days when it's like a comedy show. I won't even discuss how Naive Mogul rambled through his bastardized version of GI Joe, trampling my childhood memories and sounding like a guy who better pray he stays slim and A & F pretty all his life.
Barkeep...something. Anything.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
More Actual Musings
Ramblings Post #46
Sometimes, you just got stuff to say, but not enough stuff to constitute what you think is enough for a single post. So instead of letting it slide or putting together a "best of" compilation...assuming I had a best, and there was more to compile, and that this was repeats and not just stuff in my head.. you slap together something and let it fly. Well, I'm too good for that. Maybe. It's early. In any case, these are what I guess the title of the blog really is...Musings from the Dark End of the Bar.
I think I need some B-12 or a ginseng or something. The last few days I have been tired. I was asleep last night by 9pm, and over course I woke up at 1am and was up until whenever. This morning I could feel myself getting tired as I drove to work, my eye lids drooping slightly. Which is extra dangerous on 285, a kind of perverse cartoon hybrid of a roadway that lies like the greens at Augusta, simple when you look at them, ridiculously hard to play. I perked up when I saw the seven police cars at the interchange trying to get to the car that was comfortably nestled amongst a stand of trees that stood there. That would be no way to start a morning. I got enough problems without adding random fate to it. Is my body clock off?
Yesterday Sporty sent me a picture, which is kind of a big deal. Although she is a cutie, and I tell her so frequently, she hates pictures of herself. But then I don't like pictures of me either, all of the ones taken are horrible. I mean, the damn things look just like me! So for Sporty to take a photo and send it is akin to winning the lottery. The sun where she is has her skin a deep nut brown and has turned her formerly brown/chestnut hair into a ash blond. That or Ms. Clairol. She looks like a little chocolate superhero. I need to stop.
The moguls are ...well, moguling. Chatty Mogul is getting a dog. Wait, he's taken a 30 day option on a dog, and has been regaling everyone who'll stop for more than 5 seconds passing his desk about dog management, dog theory and other things possibly dog related. That and carpet cleaning. Naive Mogul is back after his latest weekend incident, it's always something new, which I refuse to go into. Let's just say even the other managers were upset at the sweet treatment he's getting. I'm not even sure Daddy Mogul is here.
I'm in the vast gulf of 30 days between the end of summer classes and the start of the fall session and I'm so out of practice. Thomas, my former walking buddy and finisher of the 60 day fast, asked me what I was doing Friday and I honestly did not know. I had no class to study for, no brief to write... I was at a loss. He's grilling out this weekend, so I might stop by. I hollered at Schmoopy, who says we'll get together for grub at some point, and of course my RP scheduled the party this weekend with my being out of school in mind. I haven't been to a party in months, so I'm looking forward to it. But then there is family, who I need to drive down to Carolina and see, the yard work I promised myself I was going to this summer, and the books I bought but didn't have time to read, and the million and one other things I'm going to try to have to cram into three weeks.
I say three weeks, because I will be reading ahead this semester. Believe that. I got to have it.
So much to do, so little time.
Sometimes, you just got stuff to say, but not enough stuff to constitute what you think is enough for a single post. So instead of letting it slide or putting together a "best of" compilation...assuming I had a best, and there was more to compile, and that this was repeats and not just stuff in my head.. you slap together something and let it fly. Well, I'm too good for that. Maybe. It's early. In any case, these are what I guess the title of the blog really is...Musings from the Dark End of the Bar.
I think I need some B-12 or a ginseng or something. The last few days I have been tired. I was asleep last night by 9pm, and over course I woke up at 1am and was up until whenever. This morning I could feel myself getting tired as I drove to work, my eye lids drooping slightly. Which is extra dangerous on 285, a kind of perverse cartoon hybrid of a roadway that lies like the greens at Augusta, simple when you look at them, ridiculously hard to play. I perked up when I saw the seven police cars at the interchange trying to get to the car that was comfortably nestled amongst a stand of trees that stood there. That would be no way to start a morning. I got enough problems without adding random fate to it. Is my body clock off?
Yesterday Sporty sent me a picture, which is kind of a big deal. Although she is a cutie, and I tell her so frequently, she hates pictures of herself. But then I don't like pictures of me either, all of the ones taken are horrible. I mean, the damn things look just like me! So for Sporty to take a photo and send it is akin to winning the lottery. The sun where she is has her skin a deep nut brown and has turned her formerly brown/chestnut hair into a ash blond. That or Ms. Clairol. She looks like a little chocolate superhero. I need to stop.
The moguls are ...well, moguling. Chatty Mogul is getting a dog. Wait, he's taken a 30 day option on a dog, and has been regaling everyone who'll stop for more than 5 seconds passing his desk about dog management, dog theory and other things possibly dog related. That and carpet cleaning. Naive Mogul is back after his latest weekend incident, it's always something new, which I refuse to go into. Let's just say even the other managers were upset at the sweet treatment he's getting. I'm not even sure Daddy Mogul is here.
I'm in the vast gulf of 30 days between the end of summer classes and the start of the fall session and I'm so out of practice. Thomas, my former walking buddy and finisher of the 60 day fast, asked me what I was doing Friday and I honestly did not know. I had no class to study for, no brief to write... I was at a loss. He's grilling out this weekend, so I might stop by. I hollered at Schmoopy, who says we'll get together for grub at some point, and of course my RP scheduled the party this weekend with my being out of school in mind. I haven't been to a party in months, so I'm looking forward to it. But then there is family, who I need to drive down to Carolina and see, the yard work I promised myself I was going to this summer, and the books I bought but didn't have time to read, and the million and one other things I'm going to try to have to cram into three weeks.
I say three weeks, because I will be reading ahead this semester. Believe that. I got to have it.
So much to do, so little time.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The Office Moguls Strike Back!
Ramblings Post #44
Less than 48 hours ago I thought the madness was over. Oh how wrong I was. To fully articulate the foolishness, I've had to give the Moguls, that lovable trio of office rogues, delineations and designations to keep the comedy clear. One only hopes that one day, when I quit this gig to move on to law, I can find a rationale reason to post their pics so you can see of what I speak.
I was wrong. The band of office investors have not realized that Wall Street is like Vegas, no matter how good a player you think you are, the house always wins...so the best game in town is to be the house. They haven't wised up, learned or gone broke; they were merely looking for a new game to play.
Today Naive Mogul was ten feet away from me, trying to explain to Daddy Mogul how stock options work. Which is a really funny conversation when you consider that Naive Mogul, who got the money from his daddy to invest, is talking to Daddy Mogul who is actually investing his own real money. And Naive Mogul is making it sound like he's discovered a new trick that nobody else knows about. He's been reading up on options online, well one site really, all morning.
ALL morning. And this guy is a manager. (With work, work interruptions, and editing it took me 4.5 hours to write this piece. He's been back twice already, one time to "hide.")
The only real way to win with options is to get them for free, a'la as part of a compensation package. I know that sounds odd, but since options are really bet, the idea that they paid you with a bet sounds even odder. So options handed out in most compensation packages - in which the company loans you the money to buy them - are free. I know this because I went to undergrad for business, studied this and other financial situations, read up on finance regularly (because I love to read and it is an interesting subject) and generally stay aware of my surroundings. The vast majority of NM's stories start with the phrase "I was at this bar..."
Naive Mogul will tell you he is as good as anyone on this trading floor
Trading Floor - UBS Investments Sec. - in Connecticut.
From what I could overhear of this conversation, and it's not like Naive Mogul is whispering, I know he doesn't understand the intricacies or even really the nature of what he's proposing to do. He's heard somebody made money doing it, so he's in. He's read a quick internet summary of the basic concept and now he's a veteran. His short term memory, in that he heard people had made a whole bunch of money investing and when he tried he didn't do so hot, that has evaporated like the fog in the sun shine's glow. In a sense I envy that unabashed confidence.
For every guy that makes a mint doing something, there are a thousand who bet the farm and lost. And I don't think anyone of these guys ever met a guy who no longer has cows.
Naive Mogul leads the charge, followed by Daddy Mogul, who has a kid to consider before he starts tossing money down this hole. And before long, Chatty Mogul ...the one who just bought the house...will take what's left of his meager fortune and find a way to throw a few bucks into the dark abyss as well.
Chatty Mogul is naturally, the talker. With only the slightest provocation, he'll tell you any story you want to hear. Want to hear his investment strategy? Want the latest stock tip? Want to hear about his house? About his Prius? About his new product design for something nobody needs? About how he got back a crown he accidentally swallowed? His political views? His new diet? [That last one is a bit of joke, as CM resembles an overstuffed man made of dough and I once witnessed him eat 50 wings in one sitting. To the bone.] His need for a dog? His medical issues? Just stop in the vicinity of his desk for for 30 seconds and wait.
Which makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong, because I don't have loot like this to toss around. The moguls "invest" thousands. Two guys in the other adjacent department bought the new Iphones outright, at $700, even though they already had working Iphones...THAT STILL WORKED. Did I miss something? Guys investing, guys throwing loot at super phones, vacations in Australia...um...I really think I missed something.
But I'm not stupid. I just missed it.
Barkeep. Ice Water. I'm not taking no chances around these fools.
Less than 48 hours ago I thought the madness was over. Oh how wrong I was. To fully articulate the foolishness, I've had to give the Moguls, that lovable trio of office rogues, delineations and designations to keep the comedy clear. One only hopes that one day, when I quit this gig to move on to law, I can find a rationale reason to post their pics so you can see of what I speak.
I was wrong. The band of office investors have not realized that Wall Street is like Vegas, no matter how good a player you think you are, the house always wins...so the best game in town is to be the house. They haven't wised up, learned or gone broke; they were merely looking for a new game to play.
Today Naive Mogul was ten feet away from me, trying to explain to Daddy Mogul how stock options work. Which is a really funny conversation when you consider that Naive Mogul, who got the money from his daddy to invest, is talking to Daddy Mogul who is actually investing his own real money. And Naive Mogul is making it sound like he's discovered a new trick that nobody else knows about. He's been reading up on options online, well one site really, all morning.
ALL morning. And this guy is a manager. (With work, work interruptions, and editing it took me 4.5 hours to write this piece. He's been back twice already, one time to "hide.")
The only real way to win with options is to get them for free, a'la as part of a compensation package. I know that sounds odd, but since options are really bet, the idea that they paid you with a bet sounds even odder. So options handed out in most compensation packages - in which the company loans you the money to buy them - are free. I know this because I went to undergrad for business, studied this and other financial situations, read up on finance regularly (because I love to read and it is an interesting subject) and generally stay aware of my surroundings. The vast majority of NM's stories start with the phrase "I was at this bar..."
Naive Mogul will tell you he is as good as anyone on this trading floorTrading Floor - UBS Investments Sec. - in Connecticut.
From what I could overhear of this conversation, and it's not like Naive Mogul is whispering, I know he doesn't understand the intricacies or even really the nature of what he's proposing to do. He's heard somebody made money doing it, so he's in. He's read a quick internet summary of the basic concept and now he's a veteran. His short term memory, in that he heard people had made a whole bunch of money investing and when he tried he didn't do so hot, that has evaporated like the fog in the sun shine's glow. In a sense I envy that unabashed confidence.
For every guy that makes a mint doing something, there are a thousand who bet the farm and lost. And I don't think anyone of these guys ever met a guy who no longer has cows.
Naive Mogul leads the charge, followed by Daddy Mogul, who has a kid to consider before he starts tossing money down this hole. And before long, Chatty Mogul ...the one who just bought the house...will take what's left of his meager fortune and find a way to throw a few bucks into the dark abyss as well.
Chatty Mogul is naturally, the talker. With only the slightest provocation, he'll tell you any story you want to hear. Want to hear his investment strategy? Want the latest stock tip? Want to hear about his house? About his Prius? About his new product design for something nobody needs? About how he got back a crown he accidentally swallowed? His political views? His new diet? [That last one is a bit of joke, as CM resembles an overstuffed man made of dough and I once witnessed him eat 50 wings in one sitting. To the bone.] His need for a dog? His medical issues? Just stop in the vicinity of his desk for for 30 seconds and wait.
Which makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong, because I don't have loot like this to toss around. The moguls "invest" thousands. Two guys in the other adjacent department bought the new Iphones outright, at $700, even though they already had working Iphones...THAT STILL WORKED. Did I miss something? Guys investing, guys throwing loot at super phones, vacations in Australia...um...I really think I missed something.
But I'm not stupid. I just missed it.
Barkeep. Ice Water. I'm not taking no chances around these fools.
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