 |
| It becomes rote. You miss little miracles. |
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Odd Quotes
Friday, March 21, 2014
And Boom, there goes your bracket...
Ramblings Post #260
I'm just curious as to why Warren Buffett and Quicken Loans only offered a billion dollars. I mean, since nobody was going to win it, why not offer five or ten billion? As I understand it, only the first day of games have been played and more than 99% of the participants are already eliminated. So the only real winner was the intended winner: Quicken Loans...who now have your information. That you gave them. Willingly. Isn't America grand?
Well, it's the first day, and here we are. Around 9pm last night I wondered if I could sue the NCAA selection committee for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Really, North Dakota? Okay, I picked Harvard, but Dayton? Kiss. My. Ugh.
Oh, well. More ball today. Should I keep watching, or maybe I'll just load me up some Grand Theft Auto V? Oh, I'm a glutton for punishment. Where is my remote?
Barkeep. Just a beer. Cold. Whatever.
I'm just curious as to why Warren Buffett and Quicken Loans only offered a billion dollars. I mean, since nobody was going to win it, why not offer five or ten billion? As I understand it, only the first day of games have been played and more than 99% of the participants are already eliminated. So the only real winner was the intended winner: Quicken Loans...who now have your information. That you gave them. Willingly. Isn't America grand?
Well, it's the first day, and here we are. Around 9pm last night I wondered if I could sue the NCAA selection committee for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Really, North Dakota? Okay, I picked Harvard, but Dayton? Kiss. My. Ugh.
THE SEEDS WERE A LIE.
Oh, well. More ball today. Should I keep watching, or maybe I'll just load me up some Grand Theft Auto V? Oh, I'm a glutton for punishment. Where is my remote?
Barkeep. Just a beer. Cold. Whatever.
Monday, March 17, 2014
How To Put Together Your Bracket
Ramblings Post #259
March. Wasn't it supposed to warm about now? Hello? Can I get a little heat up in here. I'd like to thank that California station for their bold musical effort to end winter, but I'll guess we'll just have to move on. Basketball! This used to mean the start of the Atlanta Pro Party Circuit. Ah, the good old days.
My brother is not a sports fan, not really. For years he seemed amazed that I would devote time and attention to following my favorite football team. Only recently has he started following a team of his own, the exact rationale of which I'm not sure, although at one point he articulated his interest as the game being a small metaphor for life: No matter what happened on the last play, you have to line for the next play, etc. He may have another motivation now, but I don't know what it is.
This life long attitude is why I wasn't surprised when he asked me about NCAA brackets a week or so ago. I think he's doing this because in his office, much like in every other office in America, it's a thing you do. Print a bracket, put in $5 bucks, and comment on it going forward. Realizing the truth of the matter, that the lottery has better odds, I've taken a few moments to put together a little primer to get him and all the rest of you interested in donating to office pool started.
Step 1. Watch every college basketball game, keeping track of who did what.
I realize that this step is long and tedious, and at this point will require a time machine, two cases of red bull, a unlimited pizza account and a cray supercomputer. Since this particular step may prove a bit pricey and difficult for most, so let's chuck this one and start over. But, if you can afford it, get the time machine with XM, you're gonna be in there a while.
New Step 1. Print out a bracket.
If you can't find a printable bracket online, you might want to just go ahead and let this go now. Just donate that $5 to the office pool and tell everyone you'll submit it later, then pretend to get busy and forgot. Yeesh, everybody has one. ESPN, CBS Sports, NCAA, Slate, everybody. Okay, I don't have one on here, but I know everyone else does. Just type "printable bracket" into Google. You may need to just type "printable br" and auto fill in will get it.
Step 2. Pretend to do some research.
Traipsing about I found this wonderful tool on HuffPost, which also has a printable bracket. It's a research thing type bracket dealie whatsits that lets you decide how much weight to give to all the pertinent factors - experts, seeding, defense, rebounding - and to all the non-pertinent factors - tuition, graduation rates, etc. Play with it, it's kinda fun.
Or you could read through an ESPN, USA Today or Sporting News article to see who is hurt on which team, who looks hot for the tourney and who is off their game right now. Expert opinions are crucial in pretending to know what you don't know. It won't matter, but do it anyway. Reading is fundamental.
Step 3. Fill in your bracket.
Yes, just fill it in. Let your pretend research guide your hand. Just remember that #1 seeds always beat #16 seeds. Well, there is always a first time they might lose, but what are the odds? And #2 seeds almost always beat #15 seeds. Almost always. After that it gets, well, I want to say tricky but I'm gonna say easy. Pick the higher seed unless you know the team, in which case pick the team you know, unless you know one of the coaches, then pick the coach. Unless of course you know which team has the more prominent shoe contract, or if you read an article about them, in which case flip a coin. Not rock paper scissors, that would be unscientific. If you know a player or a water-boy, pick that team, unless it's Wednesday and you had fries with lunch, then pick the team with dark colored jerseys. Unless the coach has a G in his name. Now, if it's Tuesday and you use a Mac, pick the team whose mascot comes first in the alphabet, otherwise, you'll need some soup bones, some chicken blood and then draw a circle on the ground with 64 numbers around it. Let me look up the spell you'll need.
Your pretend research should have also revealed a few "bracket busters", teams which nobody expected to win and which ruins cumulative wins by removing a team everyone thought would go far. Actually it won't, I'm just playing. You won't see them either, heck, half their fans won't, but it's nice to pretend you did see it, so claim you meant to pick them, but hedged your pick.
Step #4. Relax.
If anyone asks how you're doing, you always have to "Go check your brackets." Never have it handy. In reality, the only person paying that close attention after day one is the person running the pool. If it's online, he's not even doing that. Feel free to use the phrase, "I think I got that one" after a victory or loss if anyone asks. No one expects you know all the teams or all your picks.
The weird part is I've actually won my office pool in the past. I don't know how, I was told that I did and I accepted my winnings. Just so you know, the odds of picking a perfect bracket, getting all the teams right, are 1 in 9.2 quintillion. I was nowhere near perfect. You see, you don't have to beat those odds, you have to only get luckier than anyone in your pool. As the tourney proceeds, few of the expected winners are going to have off nights and lose. There will be a Cinderella story that will fizzle out before its all over. But in the end we'll all get to see some pretty good basketball, and that's what counts.
Barkeep, I'll need a bucket of beers, a thing of nachos, a bowl of peanuts, the wing appetizer, and double order of ribs. I don't know if anyone else wants anything. And no, I'm not leaving for a while.
March. Wasn't it supposed to warm about now? Hello? Can I get a little heat up in here. I'd like to thank that California station for their bold musical effort to end winter, but I'll guess we'll just have to move on. Basketball! This used to mean the start of the Atlanta Pro Party Circuit. Ah, the good old days.
My brother is not a sports fan, not really. For years he seemed amazed that I would devote time and attention to following my favorite football team. Only recently has he started following a team of his own, the exact rationale of which I'm not sure, although at one point he articulated his interest as the game being a small metaphor for life: No matter what happened on the last play, you have to line for the next play, etc. He may have another motivation now, but I don't know what it is.
This life long attitude is why I wasn't surprised when he asked me about NCAA brackets a week or so ago. I think he's doing this because in his office, much like in every other office in America, it's a thing you do. Print a bracket, put in $5 bucks, and comment on it going forward. Realizing the truth of the matter, that the lottery has better odds, I've taken a few moments to put together a little primer to get him and all the rest of you interested in donating to office pool started.
Step 1. Watch every college basketball game, keeping track of who did what.
I realize that this step is long and tedious, and at this point will require a time machine, two cases of red bull, a unlimited pizza account and a cray supercomputer. Since this particular step may prove a bit pricey and difficult for most, so let's chuck this one and start over. But, if you can afford it, get the time machine with XM, you're gonna be in there a while.
New Step 1. Print out a bracket.
If you can't find a printable bracket online, you might want to just go ahead and let this go now. Just donate that $5 to the office pool and tell everyone you'll submit it later, then pretend to get busy and forgot. Yeesh, everybody has one. ESPN, CBS Sports, NCAA, Slate, everybody. Okay, I don't have one on here, but I know everyone else does. Just type "printable bracket" into Google. You may need to just type "printable br" and auto fill in will get it.
Step 2. Pretend to do some research.
Traipsing about I found this wonderful tool on HuffPost, which also has a printable bracket. It's a research thing type bracket dealie whatsits that lets you decide how much weight to give to all the pertinent factors - experts, seeding, defense, rebounding - and to all the non-pertinent factors - tuition, graduation rates, etc. Play with it, it's kinda fun.
Or you could read through an ESPN, USA Today or Sporting News article to see who is hurt on which team, who looks hot for the tourney and who is off their game right now. Expert opinions are crucial in pretending to know what you don't know. It won't matter, but do it anyway. Reading is fundamental.
Step 3. Fill in your bracket.
Yes, just fill it in. Let your pretend research guide your hand. Just remember that #1 seeds always beat #16 seeds. Well, there is always a first time they might lose, but what are the odds? And #2 seeds almost always beat #15 seeds. Almost always. After that it gets, well, I want to say tricky but I'm gonna say easy. Pick the higher seed unless you know the team, in which case pick the team you know, unless you know one of the coaches, then pick the coach. Unless of course you know which team has the more prominent shoe contract, or if you read an article about them, in which case flip a coin. Not rock paper scissors, that would be unscientific. If you know a player or a water-boy, pick that team, unless it's Wednesday and you had fries with lunch, then pick the team with dark colored jerseys. Unless the coach has a G in his name. Now, if it's Tuesday and you use a Mac, pick the team whose mascot comes first in the alphabet, otherwise, you'll need some soup bones, some chicken blood and then draw a circle on the ground with 64 numbers around it. Let me look up the spell you'll need.
Your pretend research should have also revealed a few "bracket busters", teams which nobody expected to win and which ruins cumulative wins by removing a team everyone thought would go far. Actually it won't, I'm just playing. You won't see them either, heck, half their fans won't, but it's nice to pretend you did see it, so claim you meant to pick them, but hedged your pick.
Step #4. Relax.
If anyone asks how you're doing, you always have to "Go check your brackets." Never have it handy. In reality, the only person paying that close attention after day one is the person running the pool. If it's online, he's not even doing that. Feel free to use the phrase, "I think I got that one" after a victory or loss if anyone asks. No one expects you know all the teams or all your picks.
The weird part is I've actually won my office pool in the past. I don't know how, I was told that I did and I accepted my winnings. Just so you know, the odds of picking a perfect bracket, getting all the teams right, are 1 in 9.2 quintillion. I was nowhere near perfect. You see, you don't have to beat those odds, you have to only get luckier than anyone in your pool. As the tourney proceeds, few of the expected winners are going to have off nights and lose. There will be a Cinderella story that will fizzle out before its all over. But in the end we'll all get to see some pretty good basketball, and that's what counts.
Barkeep, I'll need a bucket of beers, a thing of nachos, a bowl of peanuts, the wing appetizer, and double order of ribs. I don't know if anyone else wants anything. And no, I'm not leaving for a while.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Truly Living
Ramblings Post #258
There are hard questions in life. Should I stand here and let her go or chase after her? Do I take a chance and jump? Should I put ketchup on my hotdog and damn Chicago? Does the toilet paper hang over the top or from the bottom? You know, tough questions. And sometimes we get an answer. Not because we thought hard about it or weighed all the factors to reach a reasonable solution, but because we're so shocked the question answered itself. Which is why we need to learn to step up, even if we're wrong. And for the record, toilet paper hangs over the top.
I was asked the question recently : Do you know how to truly live? I answered with the legal professional staple: Depends. And by that I meant that the asker of the question has to define what is truly living, from their viewpoint.
Is living a constant seat of pants adventure, a being only in the now experience devoid limitations and fears created by past failure and to whom the of the ambiguity of future consequence is but delicious
possibility, filled with the highs and lows that come from happy accidents, fortunate mistakes, or even terrible decisions and trusting that what comes as an undeniable inevitable?
Or is living a meticulous attention to detail, a constant drive for betterment and self improvement, an
existence checking off the boxes of an per-ordained existence structured by societal ideals mixed with
expectations created by loving family, faithful friends and seductive commercial marketing?
Because most of us live neither. (Although there are some single women I know whom I had in mind when I made up second group.) To some it is going to be caring for family, raising good kids, being a good neighbor. For others it will turn out to be seeing the sunset off the coast of Morocco, a wine tasting in Rome and swimming with the dolphins. And some will locate it chasing their dreams until their souls bleed to exclusion of all else, leaving their mark on the world, being remembered. For most however, it will be a mix of all of this because most of us aren't one-dimensional. We'll want the school recitals and the surfboard lessons, meticulous in this, carefree in that.
Sadly, although many are loathe to admit it, there is no blueprint to a "correct" way of living, one universally recognized as the one path. Many will profess to be able to sell it to you, but I suggest you keep your receipt. Some will find it in religion. Others find it in sport. Still others find it at the bottom of a empty glass. Well, maybe not find it, but I'm fairly certain they feel if the keep looking it will be there one day. No, we have to remember that the concept of "living truly" is what WE make it.
Living is personal. So "truly living" is one of the most personal things you can do.
Barkeep. I swear the answer to life is the bottom of the next glass. Well, maybe not life, but this week for sure. But note, if I do find it at the bottom of this first one, I'll need to check a few more just make to sure.
There are hard questions in life. Should I stand here and let her go or chase after her? Do I take a chance and jump? Should I put ketchup on my hotdog and damn Chicago? Does the toilet paper hang over the top or from the bottom? You know, tough questions. And sometimes we get an answer. Not because we thought hard about it or weighed all the factors to reach a reasonable solution, but because we're so shocked the question answered itself. Which is why we need to learn to step up, even if we're wrong. And for the record, toilet paper hangs over the top.
I was asked the question recently : Do you know how to truly live? I answered with the legal professional staple: Depends. And by that I meant that the asker of the question has to define what is truly living, from their viewpoint.
Is living a constant seat of pants adventure, a being only in the now experience devoid limitations and fears created by past failure and to whom the of the ambiguity of future consequence is but delicious
possibility, filled with the highs and lows that come from happy accidents, fortunate mistakes, or even terrible decisions and trusting that what comes as an undeniable inevitable?
Or is living a meticulous attention to detail, a constant drive for betterment and self improvement, an
existence checking off the boxes of an per-ordained existence structured by societal ideals mixed with
expectations created by loving family, faithful friends and seductive commercial marketing?
Because most of us live neither. (Although there are some single women I know whom I had in mind when I made up second group.) To some it is going to be caring for family, raising good kids, being a good neighbor. For others it will turn out to be seeing the sunset off the coast of Morocco, a wine tasting in Rome and swimming with the dolphins. And some will locate it chasing their dreams until their souls bleed to exclusion of all else, leaving their mark on the world, being remembered. For most however, it will be a mix of all of this because most of us aren't one-dimensional. We'll want the school recitals and the surfboard lessons, meticulous in this, carefree in that.
Sadly, although many are loathe to admit it, there is no blueprint to a "correct" way of living, one universally recognized as the one path. Many will profess to be able to sell it to you, but I suggest you keep your receipt. Some will find it in religion. Others find it in sport. Still others find it at the bottom of a empty glass. Well, maybe not find it, but I'm fairly certain they feel if the keep looking it will be there one day. No, we have to remember that the concept of "living truly" is what WE make it.
Living is personal. So "truly living" is one of the most personal things you can do.
Barkeep. I swear the answer to life is the bottom of the next glass. Well, maybe not life, but this week for sure. But note, if I do find it at the bottom of this first one, I'll need to check a few more just make to sure.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
A Fast Movie Pitch
Ramblings Post #257
Thank you for seeing me, I know I only have five minutes but I think you're gonna see that this idea is a blockbuster. Or an Oscar winner. Or will at least let you complete a look see agreement to get you out of a contract! It's got everything, love, action, salamanders, cowboys, space pirates, and a forty piece jazz band playing the Star Spangled Banner underwater! What? Leave it on the table and you'll get to it? Sure, my card is attached! We'll do lunch! Call me.
Every now and then I get a movie idea. Something mildly topical, sometimes just stupid, but it's always something I have to commit to a medium (i.e., write down) just to get it out of my head. Otherwise it will rattle around in there, as I nit-pick at it trying to improve on it but never doing anything about it. Not remake ideas, which I'm still going to post, or ideas about how to improve something, but original ideas that just coalesce full blown in my head. So, the ones I don't think I'll ever make (because once I get some money, I will be shooting some movies, believe that) I'm going to start putting up. Ideas, treatments, outlines, or whatever if you will. Not that anyone will ever see them. Maybe.
Note: I wrote this like last summer, so some of it might not be as ground breaking as first envisioned.
Story: It's the biggest college football game of the year, with the two biggest rivals facing each other to close out their season, both ranked #1 and #2. It's the lead up week and we see the media frenzy.
The Punch: The head coaches are childhood friends, long time rivals, are gay and in love with each other. One's wife has died, the other wife knows but loves him anyway (older generation thing). The two coaches are tired of living a lie, first plan to test the waters, get a middling approval of sorts privately and then retire quietly, together.
Tension: One of them has cold feet, and while their coaching staffs and others are accepting a couple of boosters get wind of it and are sure that not only will there will be backlash, they don't want to lose their coach, a great new recruit draw. A player admits to one of the coaches that he's gay and the coach is conflicted with counseling him to stay in the closet so as to not affect his NFL stock while he is himself contemplating coming out. The two coaches decide to come out together after the game...on the field during the press rush.
Resolution: The coaches get separated on the field, but come out together as a couple during the press conference. There is some backlash, one coach loses his job, the other the school stands behind. They move in together and it ends with the fired coach being offered an analyst position on a major network...
At this point maybe lose the gay NFL player angle as tension, as it's happening in real life. Not really a football movie, there is very little action, more a drama played out with football as the backdrop. I thought it could be a touching story, kind of Oscar bait if you get the right actors for the leads. I mean they made 2012. They made it.
Barkeep. Let me a get a tall Stoli with a dash of soda and lime. Then get me a phone.
Thank you for seeing me, I know I only have five minutes but I think you're gonna see that this idea is a blockbuster. Or an Oscar winner. Or will at least let you complete a look see agreement to get you out of a contract! It's got everything, love, action, salamanders, cowboys, space pirates, and a forty piece jazz band playing the Star Spangled Banner underwater! What? Leave it on the table and you'll get to it? Sure, my card is attached! We'll do lunch! Call me.
Every now and then I get a movie idea. Something mildly topical, sometimes just stupid, but it's always something I have to commit to a medium (i.e., write down) just to get it out of my head. Otherwise it will rattle around in there, as I nit-pick at it trying to improve on it but never doing anything about it. Not remake ideas, which I'm still going to post, or ideas about how to improve something, but original ideas that just coalesce full blown in my head. So, the ones I don't think I'll ever make (because once I get some money, I will be shooting some movies, believe that) I'm going to start putting up. Ideas, treatments, outlines, or whatever if you will. Not that anyone will ever see them. Maybe.
Note: I wrote this like last summer, so some of it might not be as ground breaking as first envisioned.
Story: It's the biggest college football game of the year, with the two biggest rivals facing each other to close out their season, both ranked #1 and #2. It's the lead up week and we see the media frenzy.
The Punch: The head coaches are childhood friends, long time rivals, are gay and in love with each other. One's wife has died, the other wife knows but loves him anyway (older generation thing). The two coaches are tired of living a lie, first plan to test the waters, get a middling approval of sorts privately and then retire quietly, together.
Tension: One of them has cold feet, and while their coaching staffs and others are accepting a couple of boosters get wind of it and are sure that not only will there will be backlash, they don't want to lose their coach, a great new recruit draw. A player admits to one of the coaches that he's gay and the coach is conflicted with counseling him to stay in the closet so as to not affect his NFL stock while he is himself contemplating coming out. The two coaches decide to come out together after the game...on the field during the press rush.
Resolution: The coaches get separated on the field, but come out together as a couple during the press conference. There is some backlash, one coach loses his job, the other the school stands behind. They move in together and it ends with the fired coach being offered an analyst position on a major network...
At this point maybe lose the gay NFL player angle as tension, as it's happening in real life. Not really a football movie, there is very little action, more a drama played out with football as the backdrop. I thought it could be a touching story, kind of Oscar bait if you get the right actors for the leads. I mean they made 2012. They made it.
Barkeep. Let me a get a tall Stoli with a dash of soda and lime. Then get me a phone.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Odd Quotes
 |
| Oscar Winner Lupita Nyong’o |
~ Lupita Nyong’o
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)