One way to get your ratings up

Ramblings Post #402
Love makes you do many things. Strange things. Dumb things. I my case, not even for actual love, but in an effort to get someone to love me (this is before I came the realization it does not work that way). But I hope that love never makes me go up on stage during a national television broadcast and slap another man because my wife gave me a look. Really.

Well, that was stupid.

It was a throwaway line, a joke at the end of four or five other jokes that would have faded into nothing. It was a lame joke about a film most people don't remember. But no one would have remembered it a week from now. Then this shit happened.

I don't watch the Oscars broadcast, but someone posted a clip on Reddit that caught my eye. I thought it was a skit, a funny little thing that they'd done to liven up the show in some way. The Sporty texted me and asked me did I see it, and how Will was big mad. Now, the first clip I'd seen was short, Will walking on stage, slapping Rock and stalking off. The clip Sporty linked was longer, included the joke about Jada - which as I've said was kinda lame - and the slap, then it went quiet although the video kept running. And you'd didn't have to be from the hood to be able read Will's lips. He was for real big mad. Then I found the uncensored Japanese clip where you can hear Will cursing on live television and I realized that this wasn't at all staged in any way shape or form.

By the way, I must applaud Chris Rock's professionalism. As a long time standup comic he's probably faced down plenty of hecklers and can feel when it's best to not press an issue due to outsized anger. As such, he did what a pro would do and tried to make light of it and keep the show moving. And after the show he indicated he would not press charges, most likely at the suggestion of the Academy. He is being the bigger man here. Because truth be told if it had been me, I'm not so sure I wouldn't have embarrassed myself, my momma and the entirety of Black America.

Then after Will was dragged from the auditorium by secur....what? He wasn't? He sat back down, and a half-hour later won the Oscar for his leading man role in King Richard, got a standing ovation, and went to the Vanity Fair after-party like ain't shit happened?  Really? Wow. I guess liberal Hollywood is behind the idea of "standing up for the wifey." Because that's how Smith's defenders, including a number of those in the black community, are framing it. A number of women seem to think a lame joke was a good enough reason to slap someone on national TV if its in the defense of the wife. But it's not like Jada isn't in the game, she got her own talk show and her own roles. If she wasn't in the industry, maybe, possibly, there could have been some umbrage - but an actor in the front row of an awards show is fair game for roasting. And she is an actor, isn't she? Another argument seems to be she has a medical condition called alopecia, and medical conditions shouldn't be joked about. But um, alopecia is a medical term for hair loss, not cancer. It's not as far as I know terminal. We joke about bald dudes all the time, but they too are suffering form a form of aloepica. So, what about that? And there are plenty of beautiful women who've cut their hair short or near bald by choice. What about them?

No, this whole episode was a massive overreaction to a nothing. Which as a number of folks have pointed out gives rise to the idea that things aren't as happy at the Smith household as one might think, given their reconciliation after Jada's entanglement situation last year. What Tupac would have done jokes aside, one theory is that Jada's sour reaction combined with their rocky history prompted Will into action to openly demonstrate his love and support of her at all costs. Which is also problematic in and of itself. But that's another whole post.

So, what should Will have done? He could have done the cursing from seat thing by itself. That alone would have been enough of a shock to accomplish his point. Or, at the Vanity Fair after party when he ran into Rock he could have just said "Hey man, that joke about Jada wasn't cool." And then explained the aloepica. And let Rock say my bad and apologize to Jada. And then kept it moving. But would it have been cool? YES, way better than this.

It was a throwaway line, a joke at the end of four or five other jokes that would have faded into nothing by the time the award Rock was presenting three minutes later. It was a lame joke about a film most people don't remember and as it turns out, in poor taste to boot. No one would have remembered it by the end of the show. But now that joke and Will's reaction to it will be the subject of a thousand think pieces and evaluations. The incident is going to be object of ridicule of every late night talk show host worth his salt, SNL is going to have a field day, overshadows his own triumph and will be brought up on every other award show this season. This image has already shot up 50,000% to the very top of the meme market, is going to be a trivia question someday and will also most certainly be in the trailer of his biography film years from now.

Yeah, that was stupid.

Barkeep. The good whiskey and just a dash of apple juice. Boy, I just don't know.

The NFL Offseason Should Be a Show

Ramblings Post #401
The NFL off-season this year has been wild. The AFC West has turned into a arms race, Green Bay gave Aaron Rodgers the keys to the franchise, and I'm veering between trusting the Jones boys in Dallas to put talent on the field and screaming "What are they doing!" over and over again to anyone who'll listen. And no, I'm probably not going to watch the USFL. Are we sure that wasn't an elaborate hoax anyway? 

It is said that because of how a grand jury works, that a semi-decent prosecutor can get a conviction against a ham sandwich if they really wanted to. So, last week when the people in a Grand Jury decided not to bring charges against Texan's QB Deshaun Watson, please know that I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. It may have hit my slightly receding hairline. Allegedly receding.

For those who don't know, last season the NFL avoided addressing the issue at all when the Texans decided to not even suit up Watson to play. By the way, as long as Watson showed up to the facility, did his workouts and stayed ready, he still got paid like he was playing. A whole bunch of money. Only without the physical stress of actually playing. In the interim the Texans found new ways to embarrass themselves, aside from letting all the talent walk out the door. I mean, at one point the Texans found themselves torn between hiring as their next head coach a ...long time coaching veteran who been part of a Superbowl coaching staff and who'd just won two of the last three seasons as head coach with his previous team who happened to black and...checks notes... a former player and part time assistant high school coach who happened to be white. So, obviously it was a toss up. But that aside, they had at least been smart enough not to play Watson.

I had a discussion about it right after it happened, I figured that a media savvy league would make it clear that even if there were to be no charges, that a serious suspension would still be assessed upon Watson's return to the field. I mean, they'd just suspended a player for the whole season for a single bet using the LEAGUE sponsored app. (Okay, there is a sign in the locker room specifically prohibiting betting, so there is a difference. Although I wouldn't think you'd need a sign to say don't assault women, would you?"). Would teams try for him? Sure, but this was a player who hadn't suited up in a year, and football comes at you fast. No, others said, it would be a free for all. The game is all about money now and they would not care. I argued that even from just a PR viewpoint, the league would not let that happen.  

And I was completely and unequivocally wrong.

The new NFL is QB driven. There was a time about twenty years ago where Trent Dilfer won a Superbowl. Who? He was the backup who took over halfway through the season and rode the defense of the Ravens to the NFL's promised land. And although he's an excellent analyst, he was also so mediocre he's the first starting and winning QB in history to not be resigned by his team for the next season. That's not possible with the way the game is now called and schemed. And everyone knows it. Hell, the Cowboys found it out after Dak went down and suddenly it seemed like the secrets of the completed forward pass were lost. And as it turns out Watson is a QB. And was a fairly good one. And as it turns out winning, or even the promise of winning, trumps everything.

I heard analysts decry that half the league need to take a look at Watson. The Saints were talked about, Atlanta was in the mix, the Colts and Chicago discussed. And what other QB might go where depending on what could be worked out with Deshaun. You would have thought Watson was the second coming of Micheal Vick...no, the pun actually intended,... only with a less offensive charge. Yes, apparently to the NFL Animal Cruelty is worse than Sexual Assault, go figure. So after listening to Shannon Sharpe and Skip Bayless rag about how the Cleveland Browns had blown up their own dicey QB situation to even talk to Watson and how they'd been unceremoniously spurned I was shocked to see this....

The Brown fans online that I've seen are not especially happy at this turn of events. People in desperate need of a stable football situation, considering all the drama that happened with team during the season, weren't happy. You know, and they know, just because the state decided not to bring charges doesn't mean you're innocent. And did everyone in the league's media gang FORGET the twenty two civil suits still in the mix? This is one of those situations involving millions of dollars that makes you wonder just how smart some rich people really are. Did the Browns forget that quite a few of their fans are women? Did they forget that their fan base just in general might have a basic sense of decency? I mean, damn. It is very possible the Browns play a few home games this season to an empty stadium, and it won't be because of Covid.

What's really weird is that the league is handing out top-tier QB money to a player who hasn't touched turf in a season. No, I kid, that's not weird, that's the NFL. What's weird is that Watson wasn't banished from the league for at least a season. Not sat out of his own free will, but formally banished with no pay for at least a season. And between you and me, people don't offer someone a quarter of a billion dollars, a large portion guaranteed, unless you're pretty damn sure that player is gonna suit up. Which means unless the league blindsides because of backlash, it's already a done thing. One of my old running partners stopped watching football altogether because he was mad Rothlesberger never got any punishment for his...indiscretions. I guess my boy is gonna be an Atlanta United fan from here on out.   

The NFL is something, ain't it. 

I need Shooters, not an Uber...

 This is a political post.

At this point I check everyday for the news that I'm certain no one wants to hear: that a Russian team has tracked down Zelensky. This comedian turned actor turned politician turned honest to god hero is defying the odds with both his bravery and his charm. "I need ammo, not a ride" he responded when the US offered to airlift him out. He's doing what all of us hope we have the ability to do when we're attacked - Stand your ground and fight. And it looks like he's pulling off this long-shot play for the most part. I hope he does, for Ukraine's sake. The problem for Putin now is if he kills him, it will only make things tougher. Because you can stop a man, but a legend is a hard thing to put into a cell. And a Zelensky who goes down swinging defending his country is the kind of guy whose name you scream before you go over the top.

Which means Putin has no out.

Because the longer it takes, the more likely that the Ukrainians finally drive them out. After taking much ground the first few days, the grand Russian might has been unable to hold onto much. And as it turns out their soldiers don't really have the stomach for what they're being asked to do, as errant men show up at farms asking for gas for their useless tanks, surrendering en masse and others using dating apps to find more amenable company. And with each passing day, the furor and outside support in form of weapons and money pours in. The longer this takes, the worse the eventual failure to a grass roots guerilla army would look for a modern "world power."

 But to get victory in this invasion the Russians may have to destroy the country. Only the idea was never to take a shell, or just the territory, but a functioning country. Yes, they needed Sevastopol, but Putin claimed he wanted to reunite the former USSR. And yet despite bold claims that sanctions would only strengthen his position, being kicked out of SWIFT, the bank run, the collapse of the ruble to loss of outside investment in general, the motherland doesn't have the resources to rebuild their new holding if it comes to that. Russia's economy is basically the size of the state of California's. Or rather it was. And that won't change anytime soon as long as Putin remains in power. The term Pyrrhic victory might be changed to a Ukrainian victory if he keeps this up, with the whole of Russia collapsing under the weight of one man's ego.

Which leaves capitulation and retreat. Which would leave this world leader looking weak, which might just be the ultimate insult in Putin's mind. One believes that the self imposed isolation caused by Covid, along with an apparatus designed to keep bad news at bay would mean that when the real news that he can't win finally, inevitably shows up, it's not gonna be pretty. As it stands, he'll have to back down on his nuclear deterrent threat and in the near future will see that that thing he feared most of all - a united Europe and NATO that includes Ukraine, Finland and Sweden, placing all access to the Atlantic via a NATO window - actually coming to fruition. And although it's really a old geopolitical situation that may or may not be still as relevant in this age of non-state actors, it was the thing he was working most diligently on, with international election interference and a world wide disinformation campaign to avoid. 

I'm not sure who told him this invasion this was a good idea, but I can say this with certainty: They were wrong. 

Yeah, the real problem now is that Putin has no out that he's willing to accept. 

I'm not going to get into all the other sundry items - the detainment of Africans trying to escape the conflict by some Ukrainians, why this time the world seems to have stood up and taken notice, etc and so forth. Or the buffoonery that is Cheato's response. No, I say let's just get through this and get to the other thing - back to virus that's still could kill us all if we're not careful.

Uncle Joe, call your boy Barry.

If you want we take this outside, ain't nobody gots' to know...

MLK - some thoughts.

 He walked so you could run.

Or rather he marched. Which if you've ever done it for political reasons really is walking, along with thousands of others, to show your support for a particular cause or ideal. Which I have done on occasion. It's a interesting sensation, realizing that that idea that you hold in your head is shared by so many others. It's validating. Empowering. Inspiring.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., boy genius who went to college at fifteen, who won the Nobel Peace Prize before he was forty, whose oration still rings in the ears of anyone who has ever heard it - live or on tape. In an age before the internet, his name was known far and wide. Not for music or film, but for a drive for justice for those people oppressed by a system for which they had been forced to build the foundation. For organizing and guiding marches, sit-ins and protests. And that oration. He was a remarkable person in age where remarkable people were in short supply.

In his last speech, the iconic "I've Been to the Mountaintop," he compared himself to Moses, in that he would look upon the promised land, but would not live to get there. He had hoped to live a long life, but he wasn't worried about that, he had a people to save. The very next day he was killed.

And still, all these years later, we have not reached the promised land.

He walked so you could run.

He walked so you could run. For Congress. For Senate. For School Board. Own a business. Purchase a home fairly. For President. To be able to have a fair shot at building something for a legacy, for your children, for the future. So put your sneakers on. And run until your legs give out. The promised land awaits.

What I learned ...Last Year (Part 2)

What did I learn last year? Nothing. I learned absolutely nothing.

I want to say that during this time of enforced precaution, where we all needed a bit more vigilant to the world around us that I looked inward and explored who I was, what I wanted and what I hoped to achieve in life. I want to say that I spent mornings meditating, found my soul in a pot of greens and learned to speak to my inner child like a zen grandparent. That built a paradigm that helped me shore up my weaknesses, bolster my strengths and plot a course into the living possibility of the future.

I did none of that.

I watched a bunch of old movies, home renovations shows (Love it or List it is fantastic) and weird Netflix cartoons. I played video games (Okay, I played the Sims 4 which is terrible but addicting). I half kinda wrote some stuff.

I officially meandered through this portion of life.

I did lose some weight, as I'm eating a lot more veggies and a lot less starch now.  I do have a little home gym setup now, and as of yet it does NOT have any dirty clothing hanging from it. I discovered sheets made out of this jersey material that are fantastic. I'm gonna have to get a new couch soon.  

I don't want to talk about what happened last year outside my house. At least not right now. Working from home the days begin to blur after a while. Weekends no longer beckon, they practically sneak up on you. The news becomes a window into the world, but if you've ever stepped outside and realized you really do need a jacket you know that the world can still sneak up on you, even when you're paying attention. Just like last year it still feels like we've packed ten years worth of living into twelve months. It maybe that more isn't happening, we just have better access but sometimes that just isn't the sense you get. But that's for another time.

Working from home made me realize that I need people. I need the concrete interaction, not just the tweets and the IMs,texts, and emails, but the voices, the stories, the energy. That I need the smiling faces, the frowns, the joy and the anger. I need the person part of the person. But in my need for conversation that I've hung on to contacts for too long in some areas common sense would have made me abandon ages ago. Every conversation isn't a good conversation. And that I've been nervous about starting it in others because I'm always concerned with wasting other's people's time. But I know these things about me and my personality. I tend to care to much, in general. Ah, life would be so much easier if I was an asshole.   

So what have I learned? Nothing that I didn't already know but I stubbornly find myself reluctant to change. But you can't grow in your comfort zone. And life was gonna change anyway, so you may was pick the changes you want before some others are forced upon you.

So. Some bourbon. Some ice. A promise to myself. And let us begin.

The difference an Omicron makes...

Ramblings Post #400
Life comes at you fast. We always think we have time. But things happen when we aren't looking. And we have to adjust, figure out a new plan, and move forward because time doesn't stop. So do what you gotta. And don't forget to have some pie. Sweet Potato. Because it's good, and the world it makes the world right.

Let me say this...medical clinics need a one diagnosis or less lane.

Anyway, the day after Christmas this year myself and forty other hearty souls, properly socially distant of course, gathered in an urgent care facility in hopes of being seen. I was about number seventeen or eighteen in line, but only because I had arrived an hour before they opened. I was grateful that they were open, offering same day PCR testing, and hadn't already booked up online...because they weren't taking online appointments. Such are the holidays in the days of Covid.

I haven't done a crowd of any kind since my running partner's birthday drop in last summer when we all had gotten vaxxed up and thought that the 'Rona was on the way out. It was a fun evening, live jazz on the deck, folks having a good time, dancing, cards, food on the grill, etc., but I've had a couple of scares since then so I've become a bit of a homebody. Okay, that last part is an understatement. I leave my house to get groceries and pick up food to go. That's it. But as luck or fate would have a week ago some old partners of mine came into town for the Celebration Bowl and I broke with routine and went by their hotel to see them. My plan had been to drop through, say hey, revel in some old memories and then excuse myself and take it to the house. I ended up in Downtown Atlanta because their hotel was in Buckhead and they would still be lost on a side street if I hadn't served as street guide. My fault really, should have stuck to the plan, but I hadn't been social in a minute, so there I was.

In any case, my plan had been to ride down to the folks on Christmas Eve, spend the day and then ride back on Sunday. I had my bag half packed, the few gifts (most of which I picked up from my brother) ready to load into the car and went to sleep with visions of highway driving in my head.

I awoke with a cough and sneezing. 

Now, I never did develop the fever or lose my sense of taste, but better safe than sorry and my parents are old, so I called and updated them and realized I needed to get tested.

Let me back up a bit though. My last test before this one was at the beginning of the month. I'd felt a tingle and started coughing so I decided I needed to know. I decided this after ELEVEN in the morning and jumped online to see what I could get. Well, the drug store around the corner had an opening. A bunch of openings. Really, they could have just had a button that said "I'm on the way." I chose the time slot at ONE to give myself time to clean up the house first. I drove over, got in the drive thru line, gave the attendant my name and check in code, she sent out the kit in drive thru slide, I did the swab, dropped it in the box. Leaving the house, test and drive back took all of twenty-five minutes, but only because there were two cars in front of me in line.

The experience has changed.

To start, I went online but the drugstore had no slots for Christmas Eve. Or the day after Christmas. Or the week after Christmas. I expanded the search and the nearest branch with slots was on the other side of the city. On the next Thursday. At 5pm. And by the time I clicked refresh they were gone. My brother searched his neighborhood for the at home test kits, which were in the stores last week but have disappeared with the surge. I checked another drugstore chain, and then looked to see what the county was offering. I finally found this clinic, open on Christmas Day where I decided my Christmas present to my mother would be easing her mind about my status. They opened at 8:30am, but I didn't get there until almost 10am. I figured it was Christmas, what other idiots would be out here like this? As it turns out, quite a few.

The nurse was kind enough to give me the skinny on the proper time for arrival, so we return to the beginning of our tale, with me in a parking lot with a growing crowd trying to get a test to set my mother's concerns to rest. I got there an hour before they opened. I was checked in fifteen minutes after they opened. They didn't test me until almost noon. Same test as before, the ID confirmation and actual swab and what not took less than three minutes. But they had actual patients with actual issues not related to Covid, so there was a bit of a wait. And I sat there and waited. Because that's what you do.

I tested negative by the way.

But damn. Now watch the scalpers do the at home tests the same way they've done the PS5s, which I still can't get.

Barkeep. The good bourbon, your boy is gonna live. Well, at least so far.