What I learned ...Last Year (Part 2)

What did I learn last year? Nothing. I learned absolutely nothing.

I want to say that during this time of enforced precaution, where we all needed a bit more vigilant to the world around us that I looked inward and explored who I was, what I wanted and what I hoped to achieve in life. I want to say that I spent mornings meditating, found my soul in a pot of greens and learned to speak to my inner child like a zen grandparent. That built a paradigm that helped me shore up my weaknesses, bolster my strengths and plot a course into the living possibility of the future.

I did none of that.

I watched a bunch of old movies, home renovations shows (Love it or List it is fantastic) and weird Netflix cartoons. I played video games (Okay, I played the Sims 4 which is terrible but addicting). I half kinda wrote some stuff.

I officially meandered through this portion of life.

I did lose some weight, as I'm eating a lot more veggies and a lot less starch now.  I do have a little home gym setup now, and as of yet it does NOT have any dirty clothing hanging from it. I discovered sheets made out of this jersey material that are fantastic. I'm gonna have to get a new couch soon.  

I don't want to talk about what happened last year outside my house. At least not right now. Working from home the days begin to blur after a while. Weekends no longer beckon, they practically sneak up on you. The news becomes a window into the world, but if you've ever stepped outside and realized you really do need a jacket you know that the world can still sneak up on you, even when you're paying attention. Just like last year it still feels like we've packed ten years worth of living into twelve months. It maybe that more isn't happening, we just have better access but sometimes that just isn't the sense you get. But that's for another time.

Working from home made me realize that I need people. I need the concrete interaction, not just the tweets and the IMs,texts, and emails, but the voices, the stories, the energy. That I need the smiling faces, the frowns, the joy and the anger. I need the person part of the person. But in my need for conversation that I've hung on to contacts for too long in some areas common sense would have made me abandon ages ago. Every conversation isn't a good conversation. And that I've been nervous about starting it in others because I'm always concerned with wasting other's people's time. But I know these things about me and my personality. I tend to care to much, in general. Ah, life would be so much easier if I was an asshole.   

So what have I learned? Nothing that I didn't already know but I stubbornly find myself reluctant to change. But you can't grow in your comfort zone. And life was gonna change anyway, so you may was pick the changes you want before some others are forced upon you.

So. Some bourbon. Some ice. A promise to myself. And let us begin.