So, it was a game...of thrones? Like that?

Ramblings Post # 367

Good television is harder to come by than you think. This maybe the age of "peak TV," but there are a lot of valleys up around this range. And services like Netflix with their drop the whole season at once method are just throwing a monkey wrench in an already creaky service. It's hard enough to be able to discuss your favorite show, but unless you binge watch it the day it drops there is fair to middling chance your neighbor will spoil it for you. Where is the savor? The anticipation? Where is the drama? Still on cable...sorry.

That Game of Thrones season eight episode two has a lot to unpack is an understatement. We're on the eve of the big battle (maybe the first of two this season), most of the named characters have ended up in one spot and as the series heads for its climax we're getting the reflective moments, the we who are about to die dramatic tension build up. Only highbrow style. The author's been very stingy with the plot armor throughout this tale and along the way we've had some fairly memorable falls, from Ned Stark's beheading to the Red Wedding. But since the story left the books behind and it's in the hands of television writers to interpret the story, death's hand has been relatively still. TV contracts and all that. But this being the last season, a whole host of folks are about to eat it because why not. And the resulting streamlining will clean up the story-lines so we can get to the final showdown of either Jon or Dany - depending - with the real big bad, Cersei. Now, it has been suggested by my colleague that it will come down to Cersei versus the Night King, but then the Night King wins because the "mad queen" has no idea what she's facing. Not even with Qyburn and his crazy concoctions by her side. Then again, Theon's sister did make it point to mention she was going to take back the Iron Islands so there was be a retreat spot. So maybe the Night King does win at Winterfell. Or after the "good guys" win, and Winterfell is destroyed, it's the next stop on the final lap around the country.  I kind of doubt that ending, but this story has taken a whole lot of hard lefts, so anything is possible. 

In either case,  I do hope that last episode ends with whoever wins it all pulling it off with a half-hour of run time left to go and we get to see some of the aftermath. So let's start the death pool: 

So, my thinking is Theon is a goner. He'll die defending Bran from the Night King, or perhaps in an odd twist become the Night King for a few minutes. I'm still of the opinion that the King gets mutinied by one of his own followers who it turns out is Arya in a dead ice person's skin. But then I'm not the writer. Oh, and Bran makes it through, because they do end up killing the King. It's the along the way it gets really, really messy.

Tyrion lives only because Bronn is on his way to kill him. I'm thinking of it like the Iron Islands play, in that at this point there aren't a whole lot of red herring scenes left. Bronn shows up, and against his better judgement (and because Cersi paid him in advance) let's the imp live. 

Grey Worm may as well have announced he was retiring from the force as soon as this last case is over. The "what do you think we should do after this" talk is how the literati mark a character with a stab here tattoo on the forehead. That no longer foreshadowing, that's forestamping. I think he'll go down swinging, maybe even just as the battle winds down, where he has hope then gets struck down out of nowhere. But Missandrei sees the epilogue, if only so Grey Worm gets mourned.  

If Brienne hadn't gotten knighted, I was figuring she might have made it. But that tear inducing scene kind of closed out the arc for both her and Jamie, who should also die. I had hoped that Jamie, the Kingslayer would also end it by being the Queenslayer and kill his sister Cersi in the end when she flips out and get homicidal, but that would be too poetic. He's the younger twin, he fits the prophesy. That would be a TV turn, so it could happen, but that's low probability. What I find interesting is that everyone was so excited that Brienne got knighted by Jamie, that they missed she was trying to 'nighted by Podrick. No, seriously, watch that scene again. Last night in town, you go girl! 

Little Lyanna Mormont will live because reasons. I'm honestly not a fan of hers but she'll live because that's the kind of thing that happens on TV. In the book she'd die, because Martin is dick, but this is TV.  

The half the folks in the crypts get taken out. "The dead are already here." You know, the dead folks in the crypts? Starks killing Starks? It's gonna happen, they mentioned how safe the crypts were like 40 times, so it's obvious it's a death trap. How Jon didn't see that one coming after he watched the Night King literally raise an army of the dead I have no idea. And because Varyas is spy and not a fighter, he's in the crypt so he goes down. Damn shame too. 

Sansa I'm on the fence about. She'll be in the crypts for "safety." It would be really sad if she dies by a re-animated Ned or Catelyn's hand, but she's already put Dany on notice that if they live the Targaryen girl will rule the six kingdoms of Westros, if he half brother/cousin Jon don't ace her out. Her living would set the stage for the next two seasons of the show that they aren't going to shoot.  

Samwell and Jorah live because in this sort of story sidekicks aren't the drivers of emotion but the mourners of the fallen. But, it's an either or situation; if Jon lives then Sam bites it, if Dany lives that Jorah redeems himself in his own eyes going out in battle. But I'm pretty damn sure that Jon's gonna live. Maybe. Kinda sure. As I said, Martin is kind of a dick. 

And because the Hound and the Mountain haven't squared off, and this is TV, and the Zombie Mountain is still in King's Landing, the Hound lives through this. That fight should get a good five minutes in the last episode. 

Because I think Arya kills Cersei in the end, I think a faceless girl will make it. Gendry? That's about a fifty-fifty. 

And finally, Tormund has to live. I thought he might sacrifice himself for Brienne, but no I think he makes it. Because idiots like him always do. Otherwise who tells those insane stories?

The cracked up part? Dany's main thrust of finding out Jon's true lineage was "your claim is better than mine," which makes sense in part but sounds or feels incredibly self centered on the other. Not, I committed incest or our line lives, but you just cut the line in front of me. Makes me wonder if she won't take the heel turn and stab him in the back. That would set up an all heel championship match for Westros, but I could see it. Maybe.