What I learned in 2013

A few years ago, I started over. At a time when most of the people I knew were moving onto the next great phase of life, I pressed the reset button and went all in, returning to school even as the grey hairs (premature gray hairs!) started to outnumber the black ones.  And although it hasn't quite gone as planned, I'm a lot further down the path to a new kind of future than if I'd just kept imagining it. And as I look back through some of my past musings at this time of the year, trying to see how many of them I took to heart, I realize that self renovation is like home renovation on television - it always seems so easy when you're just watching.

It's the start of the new year, and so I think we all stop to take a few minutes to reflect and recognize a few truths. For me, I realize I'm not gonna make it to billionaire status this year, yet again. It's still on my to do list, but I got a couple of other things I need to get straight first. And while eating healthier and gym time are in the mix, it seems I won't be starting my own country, setting foot on the moon, or reinventing how we slice bread anytime soon. Well, at least not before this fall. But that's all okay, as long as I keep trying to get there. The honest effort, the trying, the making the changes, that's what's important. Change on my schedule, not random chance. So the question becomes, where exactly is your 'there'? And what are you doing, what are you changing, to get 'there'?

Do something. Even if it seems unrelated, do something just to get you started doing things. Write some poetry. Write a book. Stop at that restaurant you keep meaning to go to. Apply for that new job. Call that old friend. Go dancing. Start a garden. So hi to your neighbor. Shoot a movie with your phone's camera. Try some new spices. Coach a little league team. Start your own side business. Take a road trip. Learn that new language you were supposed to learn last year. Start walking in the morning. Do something, anything. I say that every year, and every year I mean it. Because when we keep doing the same old thing, we stagnate. Then we end up just concerned with staying alive, and not with actually living. And really living your life is so much better.

It won't be easy. Change never is. And what you choose might not even be worth it. But it will be something, and if you start with something, then getting your thing just becomes a matter of redirecting your focus.

What did I learn in 2013?

Take a little time each day and enjoy yourself. Have an ice cream sandwich, listen to your favorite song, dance in the elevator. Because life is way too short not to do so. 

Structure is important. If only so you have a starting point for change.  

The internet is a thing, not a place. Remember that it is just a tool, and go outside every once and while.  

The time was going to pass anyway.

If you love someone, tell them. Do it without expecting a response...just let them know. Because life happens.  

Remember the basics. Sometimes a good book, tea and some peace is just what is needed.

When its quiet, stop, take a deep breath and let it out. Feel that? That's you.  

You are better than the worst thing that has ever happened to you, because you made it past that.  

The other person might have a better handle on it than you, so always be prepared to at least listen with an open mind.

Feelings and self image are two different things, and hurt feelings shouldn't change your self image.

Arguments start most times not because you disagree, but because of how you approach it.

How you look in the mirror is not as important as how you feel, but you need to feel healthy.  

An honest conversation is priceless.  

You cannot reward someone in currency that they don't value.  

All the planning in the world loses its value without self discipline.

The phrase "I love you" is still the sweetest sound in the world. Even when its just written down.

We 'bout to get Turnt Up! (Within Reason)

Ramblings Post #248
You can tell all my pets, and all my Harlem coquettes, that Mr. Otis regrets, that he won't be around. You can tell the mailman not to call, I ain't coming home until the fall, I might not get back home at all, 'cause Lulu's back in town.

We been getting Turnt up! Where you been?

It's NYE 201... do you say last year or the next year? NYE 2014, yeah, works for me.

All them lies you meant to tell this year become null and void at midnight, so I suggest you speak fast. I got a bottle for party, some Pineapple Orange juice for the ladies, and half gallon of ice tea for me. I been down this road before and I thinks I know the turns. It was gonna be home with a strong drink and cheap cigar...but when opportunity presents itself.

It's a been a long strange year, one I hope to not have to repeat. Yes, I realize technically I can never actually repeat this actual year, but you get my drift...circumstances man, circumstances. If you're going out, stay safe, if you're staying in...hey, this blog is a fairly good read, goes back while. Heck, you can even leave a comment. Pop some popcorn and tell me what I should have done. Write me a poem. A dirty limerick. I even accept pictures of kittens.

In any case, I'm headed to the turn up...see ya next year! (Ha, I said it first!)

Barkeep, start me with the Buffalo Trace in the first two, then it's all sweet tea for me..

Off the Top Rope....Touchdown!

Ramblings Post #175
The sports festival that is the New Year is about to go into overdrive. Between the bowl games, the NFL, the NBA and my Playstation, it's gonna be a weekend to remember. Well, not really. Because the "match-up of the century" is going to happen every year from now until they run out of adjectives. And next year, I'll have the new iteration of whatever is supposed to be the hot sport. Maybe FIFA. Isn't sports grand?

This week the NFL, apparently desperate for ratings, has stolen a page out of the book of the people Jim Crockett Productions and staging a Loser leave town match...er, game for the NFC East title. If the refs get "accidentally" get knocked out at some point, don't be surprised. Happens all the time in wrestling.


Sunday night, in the last regular season game of the year, the Cowboys and the Giants will square off in New York for the NFC East crown, and the loser has to wait until next year to prove they didn't give up on the game. And since neither team can mount a running game at this point - Dallas due to injuries and New York because they just can't - it promises to a battle of quarterbacks. Much to the delight of the schedulers, this will be a off the top rope type affair, a high scoring shoot-out....

...unless the Cowboys defensive coordinator Rob Ryan does his job and actually stops somebody.

Ryan is the son of Buddy Ryan, the Buddy is the man who invented modern football defense for all intents and purposes. So Rob comes from good stock. He also is running a defense that in three games this season have given up leads in the fourth quarter of more than one score. He is currently...overrated. A lot of people look down upon Romo, wondering why the media and the football experts heap so much praise upon a man whose team comes up short so often. But Romo doesn't play defense, so he's not dialing up the risky blitzes in the fourth quarter...nor is he a play caller like Manning, so he's not the one deciding to keep tossing it when the team is up two scores. But then the 'Boys can't cobble together a running game for nothing these days.

Note: The key to great offense is a GREAT offensive line.

If the Cowboys lose, most likely it will not be the fault of the offense. Most likely. I'm not saying Romo is perfect, but he's doing more than a few things right. If we're gonna assign blame, how about we assign it's where it's due.

I wonder if I'll make it all the way through this game. Cowboys games tend to make me...um...testy. I get upset, loudly upset, at stupidity. Or at least what I deem stupidity. If there was ever a time I've screamed at a television set, it was during a Cowboys game. In the past few years I have had to turn them off lest I strike something. And since this game is a for a ticket to the big dance...a seat they weren't even supposed to have? Blood pressure medicine and a large whiskey sedative.

Barkeep...start setting them up now. Bottles, not glasses.

Christmas in the City/Country

Ramblings Post #77
It's Christmas time, oh, sing the joy of the holiday and let us rejoice in the company of men as we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Or...it's Christmas time and there is a sale at the mall, my list is long, my money short and let us come together to shake our booties, get bent on good liquor and get one last shot of freaky sneaky before NEXT year, when we'll never do something like that again...again.

It's Christmas Eve, and I'm broke. I spent my last few pennies on my Grandmother, my mother and Sporty. The last one of these had an emergency and I came through for her, but that means as one of my facebook friends put it..."due to the recession, the period for Christmas gift giving has been extended to Easter." I cut it close, but not so close as I forgot family. You gotta take care of family.

In a few hours I'll gas up the Pacer, pack up the gifts and head down to South Carolina for two days of holiday cheer. My mother is gearing up for her hip surgery, so other than the one trip to see my Grandmother, I might not have to spend the holiday in the car! Yay, me!

And if I'm really lucky, when I get back all my stuff will still be here. As I've mentioned several times before, I live in a neighborhood in "transition"...with no real neighbors. Which seemed like a brilliant concept when the transition was actually in progress, but now with it stalled, it just makes the house a tempting target. Oh well, you roll the dice.

I hollered at Sporty, and when I asked if her schedule while in town would permit any hang out time with yours truly (I'm fairly certain her girls have got her booked up trying to catch up) she said she would make time. Which means to some degree she thinks I'm important. Which felt good. And it will give me a chance to give her the book I made for her as her Christmas present, although she says I've already done too much for her already.

We'll see.

But the next week is looking right, come payday I'll be straight, I got a NYE party already lined up thanks to my RP, and I might have to start throwing out food I've got so much.

Barkeep. Give me some of that Eggnog Alizè!

Finish it!

My new motto for the year, my sole resolution for 2007 is to "Finish it"!

The phrase stems from my now ancient days of high school football, where the coach would bellow that line to the offense in practice when we'd run a play incorrectly. We'd have to "finish it" meaning run the same play again, only correctly this time with the added benefit of the defense knowing where the play was going.

As it applies now, to this point in my life the meaning is a bit more literal. There are a number of projects I've been procrastinating on - movie, books I've half written, job hunt, house hunt, all manner of madness. My goal this year is to "finish it", no matter what it is. Projects lying half done? Finish them. Relationships open ended? Talk to them and Finish it the way I want. House search that shoould have been done? Finish it! New job that should have been applied for? Finish it!

The mantra for the '007? This year, I'm going to Finish it.


**************

Sidenote:

Two things amazed me this year. How fast the NYE parties broke down once midnight hit (I saw folks breaking out at 12:15 - seriously), and the number of women who've suddenly shown up in my life.

Met a woman last week who seems really into me.
Met a woman at a party last night who I knew, but didn't realize she was that into me.
Had a woman tell me should would leave her husband if I said I would marry her.
And of course "Sporty", who claims we're not dating, but acts as if we are.

My question is why did god have to send them all at once?

Barkeep...just leave the bottle on that one.

Atlanta - PreNYE

Well, as the new year approaches I find myself in the middle of a three day parley - Friday, Saturday - Sunday. It would have been a four day swing, but I opted not to go to Leopard Lounge (Midtown) on Thursday night so I could rest up.

And I should have gone. A young lady I met Saturday told me she as at the Leopard on Thursday with a skirt on so short she had to take care to walk, bending wasn't even an option. It's funny, Atlanta Magazine wrote up the Thursday night and now the odd white couple will wander in and look confused. When I took Bait that time, even on a slow night his fresh from North Carolina ass was impressed as hell.

But I digress. Friday was at the Verve Lounge (Downtown-ish) for it's Casino themed Pre-NYE party. The room was so excited you might have imagined it was real money they were playing for. I left there and slipped out to a private function at Carbo's Cafe (Buckhead). A slightly older crowd, but free food and live music...and for the third year in a row Vernon Jones shook my hand and wished me a happy new year. These occasions are the only time I ever meet the man. I was supposed to head over to the new Esso (Decatur) after that but begged off.

Saturday was nice and simple, hung out with Sporty (all the women in my life now have nicknames starting with S - no reason) early and rolled into the Annual Pre-NYE Cocktail party I host every year. Very nice crowd this year, although when the guys with dreads smelling like weed and looking like sterotypical rappers started wandering in, I knew we'd gone long. Usually we "run out of cups" or "run out of alcohol" around one or so, and that way we can clean up and be done by three. This year we didn't close the bar until two thirty.

Nice tips though.

And tonight, if my old business partner ever shows up we're supposed to hit PURE NYE or if I can swing it a private little set down on the southside. Mansion party. Sweet.

Barkeep - Patrone, but with a lemon. I'm driving.