It's in a box somewhere in here

Ramblings Post #416
There is a tendency of mine to revisit myself. To look back at my life to understand why I did what I did and how to either repeat or avoid that past outcome. This self reflection is probably something I need to do less of, as I'm fairly certain that I'm not gonna be five years old again any time soon, and that guy who owns that ice cream truck is more than likely retired, so my rehashing my selection like it's gonna happen again or make a major difference is moot. But still...  

Many years ago I sketched the outline for a comic book, among other things. The idea came to me in a flash - as many of my ideas do - and built upon it, concept on top of concept for months if not weeks. It was weird, anthropomorphic, based on popular college mascots at the time. That and some animals in logos of popular brands. Think of the characters from Zootopia, but less colorful or spunky or really animal like, and in a world of espionage and intrigue more like James Bond or Mission Impossible. I'd worked out a whole world, inflection points in the the history, and sketched out the story through 30 or so issues, including arcs. At one point I even tried sketching out the pages, trying my best to bring this vision in my head to life. It wasn't good. 

I wonder if I had persisted how well I'd be able to draw at this point? Hmmmm.  

In any case, I'd occasionally refine the story, creating more characters, deepening backstories and motivations, made drawings of maps of the whole planet, then smaller detailed maps of the capital cities of the various animal based factions complete with legends and then diagrams of secret bases. It's all in a folder somewhere in my house. Well, the story outlines at least, possibly the maps to now that I think about it. I need to look for it and see what I did. 

Or is this an excuse to delay my other projects instead of finishing them.  

Confidence in my own ability. That's always been my problem, second guessing myself when in those cases I proceed, I succeed. Because over time I get better. Like most of us do. Which is why I've always suggested that we should just start and understand that we will be...not good. But we will get better. 

At least, I've always suggested that to other people.  

Barkeep. The GOOD water.