Swerve Hard to the Left

Ramblings Post #119
To get into a pool, you don't wade in, you go to the deep end, close your eyes hold your breath and step off the side. Wading in gives you the full COLD experience, where you have a chance to rethink your position. And you hesitate and waver. Stepping off the side commits you. The problem is knowing when to step off the side, and when to wade in. I've been wading too much lately.

I joined a Cult!

Or rather the cult is trying to get my undying devotion, they already got my money.

No, I will not be handling snakes or shaving my head anytime soon, but neither will I be chanting my new peoples mantra "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels". The people who can say that with feeling have never tasted ribs.

As you may or may not have sussed, true to my previous promise, I am currently on a diet. Or rather, not on a "diet". What I have done is I have made a fundamental change in my future dietary habits for the betterment of my overall health and welfare, because as we all know, diets do not work. And if you're any kind of thinking adult, you know that statement to be a crock.

A little bit too close the truth, thank you.

By that I mean that most people on diets are looking for a short term solution to a short term issue : they need to fit in a particular piece of clothing or look a certain way for a certain event. The people who tell you diets don't work assume that the dieter thinks that by not eating, I dunno, fill in the blank here, for a short amount of time that they'll suddenly be a size 2 or whatever - you know, like an idiot. Best case scenario for the dieter, it leads to bigger ...er, smaller things. With this program I check in and get weighed two to three times a week, keep a tight food diary, and currently have less food in my fridge than I've ever had since I had a fridge to call my own.

Okay, this part of my change...the ultra strict part - practically no salt, no sugar, fresh fruit and veggies, limited select carbs, etc ...is a temporary situation. Another couple of months, by which time my dietary habits ...and hopefully my taste buds... will have adjusted. I'll be, well, we hope I'll be my same weight as when I graduated high school. Or close to it. Back when I was fine. Man fine. "Cock Diesel" we used to call it.. Then we go to a stabilization and maintenance part. That whole "good gift in a bad package" thing Schmoopy said kinda ....irked me. But if we get to the end and I find out I can never have pizza or ice cream again, the phrase you want to use "there is gonna be some furniture moving". I got dinners and brunches ( i love brunch) to eat with my peoples! And my peoples is important!

My end goal. Cock Diesel.
Okay, not really..He don't look like he eats well.

Important people. To me. Family. Friends. It brings us to the point I originally meant to make: dieting is selfish. Very selfish. And rude.

Perhaps the average person can attend to a party or social function and not eat or drink anything, or can socialize with only water and not your standard recreational lubricant, again and again and again, but I doubt it. Nobody likes the person who ALWAYS brings their own food, or asks for something special, or whatever (unless it's a serious medical condition. And even then, a trip to the emergency room isn't the end of the world). A diet makes you plan your day around eating. You don't go out to eat because they don't make the food correctly (or worse, EVERYTHING will have to be special order), or go to a party because you can't eat X after six, or you need to eat Y at least three hours before bed. Food becomes your life.

And that's odd. Because a diet is supposed to get your focus off food.

I think about all those girls drinking bottled water at the parties and I know social interaction is a trying thing for people on a fixed diet.. Those are some mean women. And how do you go out with friends who are -- sharing nachos, tasting the shrimp cocktail, splitting an order of wings, etc, and not appear rude by not at least tasting something? One of the big things in Law School is the Thursday night hangout after the last class of the week - which involves both drinking and snacking! To go and neither eat nor drink? Really? And forbid you find yourself in such a situation as a bit of social lubricant would make a evening just a bit more bearable. You torture yourself by sticking around, or insult your company by leaving early. Somebody has to lose.

It's why my grandma was a little upset I didn't eat when I saw her, and why I had to leave the wedding reception early.

No, a diet, and having to refuse to break bread with friends and family, is by in large rude. And as a reasonably sized black guy in a world not my own, rude things are not really an all too exciting option. It may work for a your small blond female (i.e, diet counselor) but if you're a guy whose less than a 10, and little shy - well, shy when sober - you're really in trouble. But they're your friends you say, they'll understand. They may the first or second time, or even be accommodating as we go on, but the difference is there.

How do I know this?

A friend of mine stopped drinking, and we stopped hanging out. Not that I'm a inveterate drunk, but a large number of the social functions I attend -- my social circle, if you will - revolves around potential inveterate drunks. And their tool of choice. So he stopped hanging out to avoid the temptation, and we stopped kicking it regular. He's still invited, he just chooses not to make the trip for his own well being. Changes to people, sudden dramatic changes, change relationships. When you stop doing those things that brought you together, even if those things were socially inconvenient, what's left? I mean we still talk, but it ain't the same.

I'm on a di...er, I've made some changes to my intake, which means changes to my life. I don't go out as much, or do as much because of it. And to those who think, you just need "new" friends, you need to remember you can't just run down and pick up some new buddies at Walmart. Real friends don't just pop out of the air. Friends take time, and since I got work in the daylight and school at night...when is this time supposed to happen?

How I'm supposed to look from the side when it's done. Hopefully the woman will be included

Health is one thing. Friendship another. Balance.

I've worked to hard and too long on these relationships to break them up over something like this. And yes, you read that right.

Barkeep. Apparently I'm not supposed to be drinking. So give me a Whiskey!