Ramblings Post #41
when you were a kid, the idea of growing up almost seemed a something that would never happen, and teenager, everything you wanted to do was just a bit of our grasp. Now as I, for lack of better metaphor, round the post for home, I realize that maybe I should have run a little slower. Sometimes being in a hurry is a bad thing. That and you have to learn to lay your cards down sometime...but that's another post.
Updates from the Crisis...
What crisis you ask? Me hitting this damn age milestone, that's what crisis! Who cares about Iran, the economy, gun control, buffalo wing secrets, why I can't get Crunchy Cheez Doodles with any regularity, or why Publix doesn't sell orange kool-aid.... do you know how old I am? This is the line of demarcation. This is the number. This seperates youth from the rest of them. Or well, now, Us. This is the proverbial it.
I recently talked to Schmoopy about the things all men talk about at this point in their lives. And since I can't afford to buy a Porsche or need hair plugs or have a wife to dump for a "fun proportioned exotic entertainer"...my crisis is pretty much limited to actually talking and feeling. I think I inadvertently enjoyed some of the more flashy versions for temporary male insanity that may have been in vogue two or three years ago about five or six years ago. My friend kind of obliquely, in that way that only good friends trying to spare feelings can, put it that I am currently a "great gift in a bad package". She specifically mentioned that I was not ugly, but more that I need to smooth out the fat...er, rough...edges. Okay, she didn't say fat, I did. She reads this from time to time and as I told her when she thought she might have hurt my feelings with package comment: "If you can't be honest with your friends, do you really like them?" .
So gym time, which I've already started, stays a constant.
There are lot of other things I need to do. I need to finish my book. One of my books. Any one of my books. The Caribbean absurd adventure novel, the Journalist intrigue political novel, the goofy crime novel, or anyone of the other concepts rolling around in my brain. Or one of the movie ideas, or the computer game ideas...or something. Or least do the yard work, or get the damn furniture, or start painting or take up line dancing or just do something! I need a sense of accomplishment. School you say? Um...no I say.
Let's just say my life feels a little empty.
But as a pragmatist, I'm a little scared to rush off trying to fill it, as I know I'll only do something I'll regret. I'm usually good for that. Knowing when to hold them and when to fold them sometimes doesn't come with age. So where do we go from here?
In that by "we", I mean "me" and by "go from here", I really mean "do now?" But the other way sounded more ...grown up.
Barkeep...old age already set in. Do I qualify for a senior discount?