Change is constant. And that's all I have to say about that. I find myself not a crossroads, but rather at one of those little benches at the side of the path I've chosen, where a weary traveler can sit for a minute and contemplate there scenery on the path they've chosen. And honestly from where I'm sitting, I'm hoping the broad vistas of majestic yadda yadda show up soon, because where I am sucks.
It's odd. I must have ten or fifteen seasoned pieces of steak in freezer. Three or four chicken breasts. Two packages of porkchops. Those frozen pizza rolls that are so good with a little garlic salt and fresh pepper. Frozen whiting. Frozen bread. Mayfield vanilla ice cream. Hot dogs. Hashbrowns. Three caches of ground beef. And whole bunch of stuff I probably need to throw out because I don't even remember what's in the foil.
I want a one inch thick porterhouse, with a baked potato drenched in butter, and yeast rolls on the side.
And this week my diet consisted of a V8 for breakfast, an Arden's Garden smoothie (when I can remember) as a snack, a smoothie from Smoothie King and tomato soup for dinner.
I did this for a whole bunch of reasons. In part I needed to get my mind right for working out. Thomas was doing it and I did it in part in solidarity (and no, I'm going to add on another week like he keeps asking). In part my digestive system needed the break anyway. In part because I eat too much of the wrong stuff and needed to cleanse my palate. In part to stop looking and feeling bloated. In part because I'm getting old and need to correct.
I am so craving a chili dog with onions and some really greasy fries.
I'm calling it at a five days because around day three I had a few moments where my body felt supremely weak. Last time I felt that bad I was already in a hospital room, so repeats of the sensation are not looked forward to. I'm calling it at five days because working out and these extremely reduced calories are not a good combination, as I'm repeatedly being told. I'm also calling it at five because actually healthy people are starting to annoy me. - I ran into Slim (who I hadn't seen in a while) and she immediately wanted to go into juicing strategies, content listings and where I got my juice. I was too ashamed to tell her I bought it at Publix, so I stayed vague. - my other buddies keep asking me if this is it, what's the business, when am I gonna get to the good part? And since the cardio and other functions are on the agenda, I'm getting a little testy about explaining that it's coming
I would like Honey BBQ wings, fried extra crispy and some crinkle cut fries.
And when your whole day is work, school (and or studying) and home...with little respite or individual excitement or entertainment... you need something.
And though I'm not pigging out, I need a little nosh.
Today was National Doughnut day. No doughnuts.
Today they served us free lunch at work...and for the first time in a while a decent spread. No food.
Today I'm supposed to meet friends after work. I can't eat or drink anything there.
Today it is nearly 5pm...and all I've had was that V8 because I keep getting interrupted.
I could go for a Double Sausage and Double Pepperoni pizza, with garlic butter for the crusts.
I already have a deep seated (okay, mildly psychotic) need to be included in the happenings around me....and my schedule was keeping me from that, and now my diet is in the way as my schedule finally relaxed....and someone is suggesting another week of self torture putting up obstacles between me and enjoying life? The phrase "are you high?" comes to mind.
I'm going to get in shape. I liked the mornings in the park, the running and other stuff. I want the trim waist line and the ass you can bounce a quarter off of. I want to feeling you get when you've started a good sweat going, that elation from exertion I used to get. But has to be a my pace. I hate when I say I'm thinking about starting to get in shape and some over healthy individual (with gobs of free time and no social life) suggests for a start I run 5 miles the first day, or like Thomas who suggested I fast for 60 days, or something crazy like that. You don't start with Mount Everest! And I know to you - "healthians" - I know what you suggest doesn't seem like much, but from the other side of that conversation, it just shows how you really don't listen.
I love BBQ pork spare ribs, beans and texas toast, with corn on the cob and slaw.
Ten pushups in the morning to start. No, it doesn't sound like much, but it is better than nothing. And ten becomes twenty. And twenty becomes thirty. Then onto fifty and a few months from now, a hundred. And much like the journey of thousand miles starts with a single step, I will get there. Eventually.
I got my LA fitness membership. I got my new sneaks with the gel insoles. I got new shorts from Target, people who seem to understand the term "pair of grey sweat shorts". And I got week where I proved to myself, I can put my mind to it.
Barkeep. Whiskey. I'll be on Wheatgrass and Goat Weed from here on in. One for the road!