Saturday, July 10, 2010

Fighting out of the Blue Corner....

Ramblings Post #116
Sometimes people disagree. Tense words are said. Emotions are rubbed raw. Opinions turn into weapons and before long somebody's underwear is on fire and you have to pull forks out of the ceiling. Or so I've heard. Those things don't happen to me. I have always been the cool one. The patient one. The level headed one. I'm the one you call so the the cops don't HAVE to take you to jail (don't laugh, it has happened). And I sit quietly and listen to people's issues, ask a few questions and before long most folks have solved the problem themselves, once the emotions have drained away. This is not one of those stories...

Scoop and Shade are battling. Again. Again.

When I first met these two chicks they were closer than sisters. I don't think I ever saw one without the other. They traded clothes, bought matching outfits (they claim) and hung out in that elite round of people who knew just about every spot in Atlanta in which good time could be had and libations were available. They were part of my circle and there were things about each that made them both cool to hang out with and amazing to watch. They had a crazy fun vibe.

Then Shade went to medical school. And Scoop got married. And somewhere along the line something hit a snag, the gloves came off and they started these little ...disagreements? Brawls? I think they were closer to the those domestic disputes, and resembled in many aspects a couple, fighting and then getting back together again and again. You know, this month they're talking, the next month they aren't etc, and so on. I have been lucky in that I haven't had to pick sides and they are both still friends of mine.

Now, like an old couple who know each others weak points a little too well, it seems like they're re-enacting a bootleg version of the War of the Roses.

As reported earlier in these writings, Shade took some time off from her residency (which is less like Scrubs and more like say... Saw, than you would imagine) to fly down and see Scoop for her birthday, and to help comfort her through this first year of grief from losing her husband. But the wrong things were mentioned, rehashed, brought up, whatever... for the umpteenth time, a "disagreement" ensued and so she called me for a spot of relief. As the unofficial cut man in her corner, I counseled her that she needed to exhibit patience, charity, kindness and more patience. All moments of rough were to be met with displays of sisterly affection. Light and healing would reign in the House of Scoop. And as duly reported earlier, that trip did not go well. And by "did not go well" I mean in the sense that it was an unmitigated disaster.

I was not, and don't wan to be privy to the details.

So when my phone started buzzing one morning at 4am, I almost relived to find it was Shade venting to me about her and Scoop's latest shenanigans instead of a call from Texas with an emergency.

Apparently somewhere in the virtual darkness off in the distance, text message bombs were being tossed as quickly as fingers could dance across phone sized keyboards. And Shade assumes I turn my phone off when I go to sleep ( I don’t) so what was supposed to be a soap opera morning was a tense few moments in the early am. And well I guess it was venting, or something along those lines. And I'm not sure if there is a comment I can give. Or even want to give. Well, I didn't then, I went back to sleep.

Those pesky messages were still in my phone when I woke up. So, now I have a dilemma. What is the best way to just bow gracefully out of this conflict? I mean technically, I only have Shade's side of the story, so I don't really know all the facts. Man, law school comes out of you in everything doesn't it. I will not be choosing sides here. This is clearly no win, at least for me.

I talked to Shade later that day, and it seems like the friendship might be over, which is kinda sad. I've never really thought of friendships as being over, just on hold. My girl Spur once told me that people come into your life "for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." It had been so long, they'd been through so much, I knew this was a lifetime friendship.

But a lifetime ain't over. Yet.

Barkeep. No, I ain't even buying them ladies a drink, get me a Bud light in a plastic cup. But leave the bottle.

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