Thursday, February 5, 2009

Working Wounded

Ramblings Post#6
It is the current opinion of the current concept that work is good. Okay, maybe not good, but wholly necessary. Well, not really wholly, more as in a necessary evil. I'm about to the point where I wished I lived on television, because nobody apparently works on television. I mean really, nobody since Al Bundy really hated their job on small screen. And everybody is slim...or fat and funny. Go figure.

I am soooo tired of my job.

I don't usually gripe about my job. I agreed to be here, I told them I would do it, and since I'm a man of my word, I wake and trek in and do what I gotta do. The bills that keep appearing strangely in my mailbox are a bit of a factor. That pesky mortgage ain't that bad of an incentive neither. But lately...I'm just so done with the whole thing. Oh, to be five years old again.

My days are very limited. I wake up, go to the office, from the office to class, from class to the house and so on in a small circle. The majority of my purchases all occur at Publix (my favorite grocery store) or whatever gas station is handy. My weekends consist of long hours reading and writing. Although my legal writing probably could use more of that time.

Sporty has no idea how much I miss us hanging out. She made all this bearable. I can't even explain it.

But this place I call the job has lost it's luster. That and since I now cut out early for class, I'm making less money than before and it seems like the job keeps getting harder and more complex. And my coworkers seem to be getting slower. If I hear the phrase "could you take care of that?" one more time from someone who already has too much free time on their just don't know.

I'm tired of the arbitrary deadlines, the imagined urgency and an ever increasing workload. I may have to start buying lottery tickets.

The worst part is this is better than the job I previously had, a nightmare of a duty that had me contemplating homelessness as a viable option. I remember honestly praying, not hoping but honest to god prayer, to get something else to do.

And this is better? I've been here longer than I've ever worked for I guess, non-family. I'm semi-respected and have a little bit of pull. But I just want out.

-But the economy is bad and other jobs are scarce.
-I have school to think about, learning a new skill set on top of that would be an issue.
-there probably is a third issue, but I'm beyond being concerned.

I should be happy I have a job (company actually had one of it's better past four quarters) and we're not looking too shabby for the future. And no, we're not an oil company. So I need to chill.

But I do so not like this anymore. And I miss Sporty. So very very much

Barkeep. Gatorade and five hour energy drink cocktail. I gotta keep on keeping on.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The economy has taken the starch out of a lot of us. At least you have a good job. I made the mistake of alienating my former employer. Where does one go when your former boss who you depend on for a reference is bad mouthing you all across town? What good is nearly two decades of faithful service when he would just as soon cut you off at the knees as see you succeed somewhere else? That's when you know you are in real trouble. When you've been burying someone else's skeletons for so long that you think you are safe only to wake up one day and realize that you've dug your own grave.