Wednesday, February 18, 2009


Ramblings Post #11
Since in reality, we live our entire lives inside our own heads, those things we miss are things we saw but didn't see. Or something philosophical like that. I think as I get older, and my body takes more and more time to heal from stresses and overtaxing, I'm getting more philosophical. I sent Shade a message that said, "In life, just as with what you eat, everything is better with gravy." Get it? If i have to explain it ruins the zen.

Ever forget something important?

Last weekend my attentions were split between my paper, my quick thoughts on Valentines in general that I posted and well, the frustration resulting from my paper. At some point I realized I probably could have walked through regular grad school blindfolded, but law school is something else. Okay, maybe not blindfolded, but it wouldn't have been this much trouble because every few weeks or so the folks in grad school part time stop by my desk at work and ask me for help. And when I look at their issues, what they're be asked to do I wonder is this what they're teaching at grad school?

So I didn't speak to Sporty on Valentines. Not an email, or a text message or anything. No contact.

I didn't hit her up until Sunday, and then again when I finish my brief, Monday morning. Which is a funny story, since I finished everything I was going to write around two, but when opened it back up to make one last change all the formatting had gone wonky...and in law formatting is half the battle. Okay, it was funny at 3:25am when I finally got it fixed and emailed. Okay it wasn't that funny then either, but I'm sure time will make it funny. Unless it's as bad as I think it is, then no, probably not.

So at 3:30am, mildly delirious, I wrote comment about something she had said, which has been bugging me and emailed it to her.

For that comment, pretty much saying we're a little bit new everyday, Sporty referred to me such high praise, I was taken aback. I enjoy flattery but I'm thinking what she said was a bit much. (I shant share the actual verbiage here, it's too personal, sorry)

She's been spiritual lately and she sends me little affirmations in the mornings (which I likes), her thoughts on certain things. She says I make her think about things. I'm thinking the ending of the engagement was kinda bad, and she's looking for something. Exactly what I'm not sure. Or maybe she's just found religion, which is okay too. But sometimes she sounds kind of lonely. I've been lonely, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

And we're back to "luv ya" and other sappy endings to our little missives. I still don't know and it's a possibility she could engaged again next week.

But I'm a fool for love. And good sweet potato pie.

Barkeep...yep, sweet damn tea.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"be engaged again" To WHO?? Cause M if it ain't to you it's time to cut the calls, the emails, the Ims, the "luv yas" and get the hell out. This woman has strung you along for WAY too long. Lonely is one thing. Being strung out- and along is another. She's playing you, man.