Monday, June 27, 2011

Did I just do that?

Ramblings Post #151
I don't really have anything to put here, but I was informed once that without these little lead-ins, these trailers up to the main event, it just doesn't read the same. Thanks Schmoopy. So now I gotta type something here that loosely ties in with what follows. Although sometimes it doesn't, kinda like this. Or maybe I'm weak from hunger since I restarted my diet to today, which accounts for the decision I made that is chronicled in this installment. There, now it links up. Can stop now?

I've just had an ohnosecond.

My book reading has been reduced from novels, five part trilogies and epic historical or fantasy sagas to magazines as of late. This is because anything I can't read and be done with in 10 minutes not related to school is not really allowed. I'm getting by on furtive reads of the articles in Men's Health, Vanity Fair, National Geographic, GQ and Esquire, with the occasional Atlantic or Mother Jones thrown in. But to indulge, I also pickup copies of Renovation Style and various travel magazines - Conde Nast Traveler, Travel & Leisure, and Budget Travel. Yes, I know, its very sad to call that an indulgence.

But I really want to travel someday. When I was kid I used raid the brochures of the travel agency down the street from Dad's shop, and would study the layouts of cruise ships and resorts, area attractions and the foods I would at when I eventually made it there. Part of it was a my imagination and a fascination with exotic places, part of it a desire to be anywhere else other than the really small town in South Carolina I grew up in. Even now online I look at bike trips, scooter tours, catamarans, hiking, cooking tours, wine tours...that need to just get out and go calls at me.

And yet, I don't travel. This is sad. Very sad. I mean like no where. I live in Atlanta and I can barely get to the south side of Atlanta. I traveled more as itinerant college student.

But someone I know also loves travel. And actually does. And so I was going to get her a monthly subscription to Budget Travel, because they have some great deals in the back. Great deals. And I'd hoped to go with her to one of the many places I've storied about, once I had break. But today, I was looking around and low and behold I found Budget Travel's web site. And their expanded Great Deal section. And because I'm a great guy, knowing she'd be interested, I sent a link to my favorite little....


The term "kid in a candy store" comes to mind. Cat out of the bag. Pandora's box. E-ticket. An unlimited gas card and an open highway.

A sudden thousand "What ifs?" popped into my head even as my finger clicked the mouse. A sudden thousand possibilities that caused a sudden feeling in my gut that made me wonder when I'd gotten on the roller coaster. It's not like I haven't contemplated the possibility before of things not working out as I would hope, it's just I hadn't actually thought about that in a long time. And I got a good imagination. Let's just say I had gotten real comfortable with hope, and maybe I just needed a reminder that hope isn't as solid as the dream its built upon. When you know you're going to get hit, you involuntarily flinch. Self preservation. I flinched.

Conflicted. I want her to go, to see the world, to chase her dreams. But then I want... to go with her? To have her wait for me? To not go until I'm ready? I do, I so do. But then why would I not want her to be all she can be, do all she can do and still say I love....

Here's hoping she sends some great postcards and takes some pretty pictures....

Barkeep...I need the cheap vodka. Cheaper than that.

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