Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Hotness

Ramblings Post #192
This post does not involve the Miami Heat, or the movie Heat, or hot chicks, or Will Smith, or chili peppers, or any of the things the internet associates with the phrase Heat. Sometimes I'll just put in a word, click on the Image link and see what the algorithms pop up. This also isn't about a country band, a Latin band, really any band, a perfume or an old film from the 1940's. It's about, well...read on and see...

Sometime in the last month, or maybe it was before that, they got me while I wasn't looking. Apparently, one of my "neighbors" to use the term loosely, decided that a piece on the exterior part of my AC unit would probably work better on theirs, or perhaps could be sold for a extra nickel or two. Who knows, but in any case, the unit currently is not functional, and pieces that were there last fall aren't there now. Which kinda made a difference during the recent mini-heat wave that struck the state.

How much of a difference? Without the AC unit, but with the fan running, the temperature inside my house topped ninety degrees. I re-invented the concept of hydration drinking between eight to ten quarts of Crystal Light. Friday night I lay down on my bed and either drifted off to sleep or passed out from the heat (not sure which), when I awoke couple of hours later, the spot where my body had been was marked with a clear body outline made of sweat. I took cold showers twice a day, and kept the front door open for the breeze, damn the bugs. It was Amistad hot.

On the upside, my pores have to be clear considering how open they've been.

I joked with Schmoopy that I was going to get some ice and some ice cream, and sit in the tub in the ice eating the ice cream. As her AC had been out last week, she didn't think it was as crazy an idea as I might have imagined. I've always liked it warm, but this is ridiculous. I thought about heading over to Slim's or Spanky's and camping out, but everybody is doing something now, so no go. By the time I remembered the law library, the heat had sapped my will. I finally ended up fake grocery shopping so I could stand in front of the meat section for a while, and wander back and forth in frozen foods.

My uncle does heating and air and I having him check it out, but his voice mail is perpetually full, so I'll have to contact him at home. If I can catch him. I'll still have to pay him, at least I know I won't get robbed. (or at least get robbed by family)

I'm thinking of this as getting back to my roots. My South Carolina roots. My childhood mama said don't play in the house roots. My "so this is a farm" roots.

Man I hope it gets down to sixty one of these nights.

Barkeep. A glass of ice, with a splash of bourbon and a splash of coke.

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