Ramblings Post #28
As I stood there Thursday night in the lobby, surrounded by fellow students and professors suggesting I go get drunk (great school by the way) since we'd just knocked it down, I wanted to do a lot of things. I wanted to scream in frustration, I wanted dance in a circle, I really wanted to go the bathroom. Life is a lot of things, and when it gets good, you get a nice quiet clean bathroom...and confidence.
The last final is in the books. And Summer School starts on Monday.
It's been a long strange trip to here, and as I see on the horizon the vestiges of my current employment being stripped away - hey, they still love me but really want to automate as much as possible, and since I'm planning on filing towards the exit in the next 24 months if only to a job in a legal field - I'm just gonna keep it moving. Like I have a choice. Life is funny that way, in that despite your best efforts....IT JUST KEEPS GOING. Even when you just need a break.
I also remember why I don't take a lot of breaks, since I took off six whole days over three weeks to prep for my finals. I don't like missing work...and given a chance to take my eye off the ball I lose focus and drive. I surely lost focus on this job. I really really did not want to come to work this morning. Not at all. I futzed around the house as long as I could, prepared to start laundry and begin mopping to delay the inevitable. But since I've grown to enjoy light, water and food I finally went on and made my way in.
I also remember why independently wealthy would be bad for me without personal projects. With the tests looming, I would wake up, study, take a break, study, eat, study, take a break, study, study, make dinner, study, watch a little TV, study and repeat the next day until test time. You snatch out studying and I'm boring.
I'm like a stand up comic who sucks on film. I need an audience to give me feedback. And since the past few days have been me and tomes of legal knowledge...well, I have no audience. Other than the little neighborhood pest I have been too nice too, and now will not stop coming by my house. I need people. I need a group of my peers. Who are not sweating out a final.
Now we get down to the other two or three things I have to get done, aside from find my books and see if there is reading before the first class, see if there is anyway to get into this other class, and pay my summer tuition (out of my pocket - no student loan!), clean up house, get my student loans arranged for the fall, get started on my yard before it washes the heck away (damned sloped lot), and generally get on with getting on. Oh yeah, and some trim.
What that will actually entail is a bit of mystery.
Barkeep...a shot of the brown. The good brown. You know.