Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentines and other thoughts of little substance

Would you know love, if you saw love? And if it showed up tomorrow, would you be ready?

I usually throw together a little missive for valentines, to spark the thoughts of those who I hold dear in hopes that a little expansion of the mind might be good for the soul. I read a question the other day it got me to thinking of whether or not I, or really any of us who are single in this day and age, are really ready for love.

"If love came your way would you be prepared to receive it"?

Love is giving of ourselves. Wanting to give of ourselves.

As I've stated before, too many of us have confused love with being the object of affection, in that when we use the term "I want to be in love" what we really mean is "I want someone to love me." And that person better bring pie. We want someone to call when we we want them to call but not so often as to annoy us. We want someone who looks hot, but will love us even though we could stand to lose a few pounds. We want someone willing to treat us to those things that make us happy, but won't expect much of anything in return. We want someone great, willing to work with us

What a lot of us really want want is a just a worshiper at the our temple.

Or, we want the person whom we want to see naked to suddenly be able to fulfill all the other dreams and fantasies of personal satisfaction we've cooked up while feeling lonely. Not only will they be sexy, they'll slot right into our lives and think of us and only us because it feels so perfect.

And because we're looking for the wrong thing, with probably the wrong person, there is a high probability that we're never going to find them. I'm just saying. But none of us wants to get used, so what we're looking for is, and I know this is going to sound odd, someone we can eventually feel guilty about screwing over. That or the "beautiful instant love" love thing that happens in movies when attractive actors recite lines in carefully picked locations that create that dream of a "meet cute" that we all know is waiting for us. Either or.

"If love came your way would you be prepared to receive it"?

If someone who adored you, who made you smile and laugh, who was thoughtful and sincere came along, would you accept them if they were shorter than you hoped? Or a little larger than you expected? Or didn't make you want to get naked? Could you be able to see past the imperfections and make reality the much vaunted ideal "you can't judge a book by its cover" line we were taught by responsible parents. I wish I could say I could. Or have. I admit that I've politely declined to pursue possibilities because she didn't fit an archetype I'd devised that incidentally eliminated as much 99.95% of the female population. As though I was some great catch.

Love is giving of ourselves. Wanting to give of ourselves.

It's funny when you think about it. Someone desperately trying to give you something you've been desperately searching for and you turn them down because you want the wrapping paper to be a different color. I've done it, and I'm a hopeless romantic! I need to be slapped.

"If love came your way would you be prepared to receive it"?

Barkeep, a round on me for everybody drinking alone.

No comments: