Saturday, March 28, 2009

Bad Morning Listening

Ramblings Post #19
A few months ago I went back to regular radio for my ride into work. My ride is up Atlanta's west side of 285 and takes about 15 -20 minutes in average traffic. It used to take longer, but I discovered a shortcut that minimizes my highway time and is usually pretty devoid of traffic until I get to "le grand circuit", which is a crap shoot. I mean I've seen285 flowing smoothly and/or gridlocked at 7:35am, 8:30am, 9:30am and at any time in between. There is no rhyme or reason, no forecasting available.

And as I've said before, I never saw the need for an expensive car entertainment system until I encountered traffic on 285.

But I'm a simple guy, still. I have no TV in the headrests, or satellite radio, or iPod plug in or 10 disc CD player.... or cassette player or... even an eight track. I listen to the broadcast radio. I do have FM thanks, much. I say that because I once owned a car that only got AM. And in the morning I listen to the radio, because well, no radio is boring. And for a while I was stuck on classical because, well, because you know.

But I made the move back to regular radio, hip hop and oldies, although I still listen to NPR and all things considered on my way to class at night - to get in the right frame of mind. The mornings and after school however are a mix of Drive-time DJs, classical/jazz and contemplation. And why is the song "Do the Stanky Legg" stuck in my head? I'm considering going back to classical just because of that.

Which brings us to this little posting. How long do the DJs figure that we are actually in the car? I asked because it seems to me that a seasoned professional hired for their personality and the little group of comedians they've assembled would keep the little skits between three and seven minutes, in little neatly encapsulated little bursts of the levity or whatever it is the station is paying them to peddle. The idea being that the individual in the care wants to hear the whole bit, as opposed to part of it and since MOST people get out of the car when they get where they are going...

...okay, this is personal, since I really did want to find out who's baby it was via the paternity test the show was running. The drama had reached soap opera level with dead wives, scandalous sister in laws, infidelities, lies and deception. Then a commercial break. Then a song. Then another commercial break. Then a promo for some other shit I didn't want to hear and another commercial and damn, I'm at the office. This isn't primetime! I'm not ensconced on the couch and will sit through all the damn commercials because I now have an inane need to see if the cardboardly acted skeevy grifter really did kill the countess, or is was it her stick figure Hollywood version daughter after her already dubiously gotten gains. No, I'm in the car, I'm paying attention to signs and traffic and once I get where I'm going, I GET OUT OF THE CAR!!!

Good drive-time DJs finish each little skit before the next commercial. Bad DJs forget they are on the radio and imagine I've got a whole hour.

I don't like the bad DJs.

Barkeep. A tall glass of iced tea. I'm just in the mood.