Yesteday I sent Shade (from my NYE hospital visit - whom I still talk to regularly) her combination birthday-Christmas-New Years-Welcome back-Ground Hog's-Valentine-President's Day present and I remembered why I like to give people stuff. We'd just talked on the phone the Thursday before and she asked me why I would get her anything. My response was a typical guy response, something trite and shallow, and we kind of ended it there, but I thought about it and now ask myself why would I go through the trouble? She's not my girl, or on track to be my girl. We've not seen each other in years, but the internet and cell phones have kept us in contact. She has her life and I have mine. So why?
I'm not sure.
Maybe it's because I have so much affection to give, and now, no one to give it to that I'm searching out people to direct my energies towards. Unfortunately for me, I have an odd tendency to only want to the best - silly me - and thus a lot of the women I associate with and are interested in are beautiful, sexy, ambitious and completely unavailable. They always like me, hell everybody likes me I'm that kinda guy, but these women are usually spoken for (some measure the time they've been single since they were fourteen in minutes), or not looking (because some guy before got happy and fucked it up) or I slip and fall and end up in the friend zone (which is technically the same as being gay for all intents and purposes).
I like happy people. What can I say? Over the years I gifted Sporty so much, I felt bad adding up the numbers.
I like to cook for friends. I like to make drinks for women. I remember birthdays, holidays, favorite flowers, sizes, interests, and crap like that without thinking. I'm bizarrely thoughtful. I help out and pitch in and all that. I enjoy the practice of making the people around me better, and then afterwards giving them gifts. I believe I have a problem.
That, and I like to drink. And sex.
Now, I can be stingy, evil even when offended. Occasionally I have "moods"...and once stopped going out with a woman when she wouldn't let me finish a sentence. I'm not perfect. I'm not even close. But I try.
My friends all call me the same thing, which is kinda of insult in this digital world. They say that I'm a "nice guy".
So what is a guy to do?
Barkeep, a tall orange koolaid. Do you have a Star Wars glass?