Wednesday, August 3, 2011

So what happens if I press this button?

Ramblings Post #154
I read somewhere that no one is original. That in reality, we are all just the sum total of our experiences, squeezed through the prism of time. We were born raw material, and since then we've been molded by our family, our friends, our choices, luck, circumstances, fate and whether or not we like Miracle Whip. But right now I'm at a cross roads. I'm glad this debt ceiling this is over, even though the agreed upon solution appears to reheated and warmed over greasy dog droppings that no one likes (one of the signs of good compromise), I'm tired of talking about it. This is about me.

Very shortly I have to decide if I'm going to switch to law school full time or continue my part time "shenanigans."

You can see by my slightly biased characterization which way I'm leaning.

If I were your typical 25-26 year old with the world in front of them, bunking on a friend's couch and living off cold pizza for a while wouldn't be nothing but a thing. At this point in my life however, I'm saddled with grown up stuff - a mortgage, a credit card bill, car insurance, me insurance and few other necessities (water, lights, phone). And what happens if I have another break in? I'm getting by now with those because the guy who does my work is one really understanding guy. Really. But one bad Thursday with broken windows, missing stuff and other sundry destruction would be devastating.

The reality of it is that unlike undergrad, my finances are more imposing upon decisions than they used to be. Don't get me wrong, I can dial down or turn off the DirecTV, catch the bus to downtown twice a week to save gas and go back to eating the dreaded Ramen noodles and variations on the potato for a year to get my degree. Part of getting what you want is sacrifice. But funny thing, part of bar fitness will be my credit rating, so I'll have to be able to meet my accumulated bills for the year I'm down under. It would be shame to reach the end goal and denied on the technicality. So I can't just go all out trying to get there.

The benefits of full time vs. part time are boundless however. With full time I get the ability to go actually speak to the professor on a regular basis. Better access to the career center. Opportunities to join a professional club and participate REGULARLY. A chance to go to the mixers that happen while I'm in evening classes and make the connections I'll need later in a practice. A better ability to study and actually get my stuff together that doesn't involve staying up until 2am trying to re-read what I already read the previous weekend trying to refresh myself. You know, all the stuff I was to stupid to do during undergrad. Amazing how those life lessons come back, isn't it. It all hinges however, on my ability to make these payments.

When my parents suggested this years ago, their idea was to borrow to the hilt and go full time. Looking back, having not been in a class room in a decade would have caused that plan to be a disaster. But now, my study habits have improved and I've gotten my mind more in harmony with how this is all working. And as I explained to a class mate, considering the student loans I've already accumulated, I'm kinda "all in" with this thing. Why half step the rest of the journey? Worse, looking at the math of my accumulated hours, if I don't go full time the bar would be kicked back to almost two years away. Which is a long time at my age.

The worst part is everyone wants me to go full time. My folks. My classmates. Sporty. Me. But the reality of the situation is the reality of the situation.

I've got lot of number to figure out. And I went to law school because I'm bad at math, so I might be a minute.

Barkeep. Water. I gotta keep my wits straight, and the my diet won't let me have any sugar.

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