Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Courting in the time of Instant Communication

Mental Rehab Post #45
Odd conversations. We're not even going to discuss the opera singing at work or the idea that my Caucasian coworkers found the white racial slur that blacks can't use comfortably as topics here, although they may find their way here shortly. Some days you just want to get your whiskey in an IV.

Spanky hit me up the other day and asked why guys don't court anymore, why they just want a "one timer" or a quickie? What happened to dating and going out and the like? First I wanted to ask why she chose the term "courting", as though we were living in the 1890s, and then I wanted to ask what brought on this round of questions. (Spanky does this sometimes, with a round of questions that appear to come from the blue, then losing interest quickly.)

Yeah, what happened to it?

Life happened to it. I so wanted to tell her that what she was getting was the mirror action of, me having been made privy to these actual occurrences by various friend-girls, of women in a froth of lust simply riding by their chosen male's house and "getting them some." No action needed to be taken by the men, and these women presumably left satisfied....with the decision they had made. And in this age of equality, why is it suddenly okay for a woman to get her some with no strings, but not okay for a guy to ask for the same thing? The double standard is a funny thing, isn't it? That's what I wanted to say. And still might.

What I did say was that in this modern age with our instant gratification/hook-up culture, we have reversed it, with the courting and dating coming after we've "gone all the way." Our view of sex has changed and with it a number of the traditional cues that signify relationships have changed as well, if not thrown out the window completely.

She didn't like my answer.

I find it interesting that we all still want that traditional love at the end of our experimental love stage. Makes me wonder why we even bother with the experimenting.

Oh yeah. I know. Ohhhh yeah.

Barkeep. Two Sex on Beaches and one Hot Toddy. Yeah.

1 comment:

Julie said...

There was an article just this past week that discussed the fact that today's London couples believed that if the sex wasn't good there was no reason to develop a relationship. Therefore, they "hookup" a few times before ever attempting to "date".

What has our society de-evolved into? I have been married for a number of years now and I know that given the choice of entering into a Dating Market where the 'Rules' were/are Sex First, Date Later, I couldn't and wouldn't play. Maybe that's old fashioned, maybe that's morals. Maybe I'd be alone for the remainder of my life. Now that's a sad commentary.