The obligatory James Bond Post

I am a James Bond Fan

James Bond

I like the character James Bond. I've actually read the novels and found him interesting. The movies have ebbed between glorious (Goldfinger or Goldeneye) and "what the hell are they doing" (see Moonraker or Licence to Kill). But much like the dedicated person I am, good or bad, I still follow along.

Kind of like a Trekkie, only cool.

I wasn't all that big on Daniel Craig. I admit it. And I'm not too particularly crazy about the raw Bond they have him portraying, all force and blunt trauma and little of the refined cool that Connery started. Okay, Connery's Bond did once strangle a woman with her bikini top, but it was a cool strangulation. Moore, who was my first Bond, was almost comedy, but he still was cool and debonair if even in an odd sort of way. And honestly Dalton was just a mistake. Don't get me wrong, Dalton is an okay actor, just not James Bond. But I was impressed with Craig's ability to look like an agent with a license to kill.

Now if he could just look like James Bond.

And that's just it. James Bond is mostly defined as the cool and and capable, suave and refined character that most of the first 15 movies portrayed him as. He is the secret agent that we all wanted to be. This new incarnation is brooding and brutal and the writing lacks the essential quality of just off kilter humor that the older series was rife with. Look back:

-- Brosnon's Bond in Goldeneye with Xenia Onatopp in the sauna and "No more foreplay".
-- Connery's Bond in Diamonds for Forever, when after throwing Plenty O'Toole from the hotel window remarks "Nice shot", and the heavy says "I didn't know there was a pool down there."
-- Half of Moore's Bond's dialogue. Just pick something.

Recent critics are just that, recent critics, and their comparisons of the new Bond to the Jason Bourne character make me wonder where they think the whole concept for Moonraker came from? When you've been a movie icon for forty plus years, you can borrow from the next new thing. We real fans don't mind. You halfway expect it. The movie character is older than I am...jeez, would they expect us to shoot the remake of Knight Rider with a TransAm?

But who in the hell watches a Bond movie for character development? He's James Fucking Bond.

Okay, we've had our fun experiment. Bond's a whole man now. So let's get back to the just a bit smoother than the rest of them man about time I enjoy.

Barkeep. Vodka Martini. Shaken not stirred. And Yes, I do give a damn.