Saturday, December 15, 2018

And sometimes you just don't...

Ramblings Post #359
I am a creator. I create stuff. I've dabbled in painting and making music, I have video games I want to design and I salivate over architecture and design. But my real passion is writing. Poetry, short stories, etc, the putting of pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) has excited me longer than I remember. I have a lot ideas in my head. A lot of them fade before I can get them out, bring them to life and explore them. But it is so great when I can. I kind of hope everyone has something like that that they can do for themselves.



I did not complete the write a novel in thirty days project for the first time in three years. It is disheartening. I don't feel good about that.

Okay, I wasn't very happy with the title I gave it either, so maybe that was it. Probably not though.

If you're unaware, for the past three years I've taken part in an online contest/program to write a book of fifty thousand plus words in the month of November.  The previous two times I participated I was able to put something together, really projects that had lingered for years in my head, finally taking the time outlining and plotting them properly, then committing to writing everyday. Because I tend to think about a lot of things, this contest/program helps me work on my focus. Two years ago I managed a good first draft of a semi-autobiographical story of life in Atlanta for a group of middle aged black guys who didn't deal drugs (Wow!) and last year I put together a good first draft of a alternative history story that involved airship racing in the early 60s. This year was supposed to be the first draft of the first book of my always evolving sci-fi epic. Planets, spaceships, battles, intrigue, betrayals, heartbreak, triumph, all that. I thought that I had the first book properly plotted, had structured it to lay out the keys to the next few books in the series, had my main characters mostly developed but flexible, and then one thing led to another, it all went for naught and there I was planning twenty thousand word weekends.

As one famous author put it, "the only way to write is ass in chair." I did not keep my ass in a chair. Fifty thousand words is just over sixteen hundred words a day, which is a lot or little depending on your point of view.  To honest, there have been days before when the words just flow and sixteen hundred words is a warm-up and then there are days where you just aren't feeling it and if you can get five hundred words you've climbed a mountain. The trick was to just keep writing through the five hundred (or two hundred) word days until the good days come back. I did not do that this time.

This month was wonky. Way too many other things happened which encouraged too many not writing days. There were the bowling nights, the extended eating out with friends sessions, general I haven't seen the sun in two days fatigue, a brief bout of illness, and extensive process changes at work. By the time I sat down to write my brain had turned to mush.

And when I was inspired, instead of moving the story forward I got stuck, on building character relationships in small intimate scenes that weren't in my outline or figuring out planetary logistics that could be cleaned up later or crafting authentic background people who might die in the next chapter. Which is great. In the second or third draft! The goal of the writing month was to finish, get it all on paper, which would then allow you to go back to fix, expand and polish. But pressed for time I still found myself writing and re-writing conversations to give side characters dimensions, adding in scenes that I realized were missing or trying to shoehorn in what I thought were great bits of prose. Oh, I've written this great speech that my protagonist is supposed to overhear that will inspire them to do this other great thing later, but the scene its a part of doesn't work since I made those other changes, so,  what I need to do is build a completely new scene around THAT speech. Note: That is not how you finish writing a damn book. I know I have to just rewrite the whole piece like that speech doesn't exist and move on so I can be done. Done is the important thing. Because revision is easy by comparison. Not much easier, but easier. It was great speech though. An inspiring get off your ass you don't know how good you got it sort of speech. Trash now.

That I didn't finish in the time I allotted myself or that the program is over is now irrelevant. I will finish this book. Admittedly my changes do make for a stronger read but that wasn't the place for them. I need to get my self-discipline back. Tighten up as they used to say.

I need to tighten up a lot.

Barkeep. Apple juice. No, just the apple juice, no whiskey in it. Seriously. I am not kidding!

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