Friday, April 8, 2016

Water Menu at Chez Work..

Ramblings Post #312
Some co-workers went to a spin class another co-worker teaches in the evenings. Things I learned : In a spin class your feet are locked into the stirrups. The seat is way tiny. There is an arm exercise component using weights. And the water is $5 a bottle. Oh, I didn't go, this is just what I heard from the, people who decided sweating out their hair was a good time. The part they were most irritated by oddly, was not the hair, but the price of water. So, in the interest of making a few bucks, I created my own water menu for the office. No free samples.

Colorado North Artisan Water
(Fresh snow chilled water bottled by hand in bottles then hand remixed in other bottles)

Colorado South Snow Well Water
(Basically same as the other water, just filtered naturally through the rock and bucket lifted)

Colorado Further South Snow Artisan Spill Water
(The drippings from the South Snow Well Water, gathered and separated)

North Georgia Seasonal Water
(Water captured this season, fresh and stored in something that holds water)

North Georgia Unseasonal Water
(Water captured this season, aged for your pleasure, and served at room temperature for balance)

Special Unfiltered Mississippi Mud Black Water
(Contains Minerals, small amounts of detritus, and minerals)

Exfusion Water
(Water in a specially areated form that you can inhale)

Rain Water
(Funnel. Barrel. Untouched by human hands, from God to you. Through us. For a small-ish fee.)

Death Valley Spring Agua
(Hand bottled from a garden hose filtered source in Tucson and driven through Death Valley for flavor)

Coconut Juice Water
(Free range coconut. No coconuts were harmed in the making of this water. Coconut free.)

Double Diet Water
(All the water, half the calories, now with half of that! Now with less gluten.)

Water Water
(Like organic water, but now with even more water. No substitutions)

Educated Water
(Better than Smart Water- served with/at three “degrees”)

Tap Water
(Served in hand crafted –ish recycled bottles collected by urban indigenous nomads)

If you'd like to buy something, we'll need your social security number and address. Why? Well, we're gonna need to pull your credit. This stuff ain't cheap!

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