Sunday, September 30, 2007

The FAMU-TSU Atlanta Classic - Day Plus 2

In that middle, you just knew I was gonna be reporting in from the field diligently.


Friday - Went out for drinks with co-workers in preparation for the massive hangout. Went to a seedy bar in Marietta around the corner from the job where none of the chairs seemed 100%, they served $4 beers in little teeny ass cups and everybody smoked. Sorry, I associated smoking with herb, and that in turn leads to some chick giving me head.

This didn't look like that kinda spot. I hung out for an hour, but something wasn't feeling right. I got the house, took a shower and had to lay down.

Saturday - Got the call to ride out early, but didn't make it. Showed up at the game and realized that my master plan - buy the cheapo ticket and run into folks - was extremely flawed. I used to say if I went to the dome it was Club Level or better, and now I remember why. Since the dome closed the bar on the 50-yard line, going to the games hasn't been the same. And my age group has upgraded. Afterward, the game (which FAMU won with a blocked field goal in the final seconds) I stopped by a friends house for her family reunion, then stopped by another friends house for his belated birthday function.

Sunday - not a damn thing happened. Sporty was working her second job, my girl called me back over to get some the grub they missed at the FR, and I wrangled with my lack of satellite.

I did however cook a nice steak and baked potato for dinner. Damn that was good. Chocolate pudding for dessert.

Well, that was it. Maybe I am getting old, this used to be a lot more exciting.

Barkeep - Scotch. Glenfiddich. neat.

Friday, September 28, 2007

The FAMU-TSU Atlanta Classic - Day Minus 1

Thursday...Dateline - The Hennesey Event.

What if you gave away free top shelf liquor, free gourmet food, and hot new entertainment and nobody came? It looked like it for a moment, when I bopped into the event and lo and behold it was nearly EMPTY. The little girls in sundresses were stopping me when I had a drink in hand to ask if I wanted another. The bartender was pouring the drinks so strong I had to ask her to lighten it up a bit. Okay it started at nine, which was little funny, and ended after midnight on a week night... but the kind of folks they invited were the kind that could call it in on Friday if need be.

Funny moment this cutie in a black lace dress makes eye contact with me for few seconds, I smile back and tell her that her man is very should have seen this dress...and even as lean back this dread locked brother steps in. I'm not paying attention but I look back that way a few minutes he's got his celly out getting numbers...oh kay. I don't say anything, it's not my place, I don't even know her. But we make eye contact a few minutes later and apparently she felt she had to explain herself. She comes over and tells me it's not what I think. I assure her I have an open mind, and ask her the question I ask all women..."Are you happy?". Oddly she then asked me my sign. Maybe I should have asked her age.

From there with the crowd looking considerably better, after Chrisette Michele performed, I breezed over to Leopard Lounge.

And the girl told me it was $20 to get in if I didn't want to wait in line.

Pay money? To get in the Leopard on a Thursday? Or stand in a line? Are you fookaying kidding me? I had to go to work the next morning....actually, be on the track the next I demurred.

It feels good to be back in stride...

I skipped Shout (which I heard was horrible), the Grape (I didn't need to see everybody the first day), Noir (it was that or the Hennessy thang) and Verve (which I also understand was light, but it was Thursday..Friday is there night.)

Barkeep, get me some gin and tang...I'm feeling frisky.

Monday, September 17, 2007


Goodell is full of it

I hoped to make my next NFL related notation when the Cowboys were 8-0 and looking like juggernauts on a drive to playoffs, but the Pats have forced my hand. This is about some bullshit to the left, and the idea that you can justify what he did borders on the belief in the Great Pumpkin.

The head coach cheats.
And gives a half-assed apology to no one.
And the commish who's cracking down and getting him a fine?

Now this isn't alleged or unproven allegations that there may have been some improprieties. This isn't your name appeared in suspicious or less than reputable company among people of interest. This isn't off the field shenanigans or tomfoolery or criminal activity.


And Goodell had the audacity to state he is charged with "maintaining the integrity of the game."

And then to state that their actions had no impact on the game. If it didn't help, then what the hell did you do it for? Knowing the defense play before hand is a huge advantage, and in the hands of QB like Tom Brady, it's like handing him the keys to bakery. If I owned a team that lying ass fuck coach beat, Goodell would have a lot of explaining to do as to why he didn't put the man's shit in a box and show him the door.

Say what you want, all the guys Goodell "cracked down on" never cheated ON the field. Never.

Integrity of the game my ass.

Barkeep...gimme some dirty tequila. in a dirty shot glass.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Old thinking.

A man from the city had moved the country and figured he needed a farm animal. So from one his neighbors up the way he bought an old mule.

"That'll be $100 young fella, bring him by tomorrow." The Old Timer said.

On the way home, the Old Timer stopped off and bought some supplies, spent some money dranking and drove up to his house to find the mule dead in his yard. He called the man from the city to tell him the bad news.

"Your new mule died. Sorry"

"Well, just gimme my money back, no harm."

"Can't do that, already spent it."

"Well then, okay. Hey, can you drop the mule off in the morning anyway?"

"But the mule is dead, son."

"So you said, but just drop him off in the morning."

So the next morning, the farmer loaded up the dead mule and dropped off at the city fella's place. A few weeks went by and the farmer was passing and decided to stop in and see what the guy had done with what he bought.

"Hey man, I'm curious, what did you do with that dead mule?"

"Oh, that. I held a raffle to win him. Sold about 500 tickets at $2 apiece."

The Old Timer was shocked. "Didn't somebody complain you was raffling off a dead mule?"

"Yeah, the guy who won didn't like it."

"So what did you do?"

"I gave him back his $2."

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Journey through the Bargain Bin

I've moved into the new house, and after my encounter with the Direct TV installer I'm still waiting to see if I can even get the new fall shows.

(Side story: --- I love Direct TV. Love it. And the little punk who showed up Saturday to install 5pm...on his last call of the day...took one look at my setup and told me it wasn't doable. Then I took him the backyard and he got all snippy about how it wouldn't work. So I told him to set the damn thing up anyway. Then he gets a halfway decent signal, and DOESN'T LOCK IT IN! I'm having somebody else come out...and I'm call Direct TV to get his ass let go if possible. I'm not normally like that, but he fucking my Sunday Ticket!)

In the interim, I've taken to the bane of the modern American economy - Walmart. First I found two that actually close at night to my surprise, but I've taken to wandering the one closest to me looking for a distraction. In the back aisle of the Electronics section, I've stumbled across the bargain bin. The previous bargain bins I've looked in at a Walmart usually have had a mix of direct-to-video and Spanish language films, so I was skeptical, then I found this one. On the surface there were nine copies of Along Came Polly and countless Dickie Roberts: Child Star DVDs. But I was desperate and so I started digging.

There, in the among the forty copies of the Man from Snowy River I found Oscar nominee Sideways. And then Wallace and Gromit! These were good, fairly recent movies in among the compilations of no longer copyright protected cartoons and BMX Madness 2007. I kept digging...the Addams Family movies in a double DVD! Rocky and Bullwinkle! People wandered by, decided that the Ultimate Edition of Jim Carrey: Rubberface wasn't what they were in the mood for and left.

I shudder to think what might be even lower in the bin. Maybe Bond? Maybe Pirates of the Caribbean? It's like I've found a spot where buried treasure is abundant....and they also carry pans, shoes and sheets.

Am I ashamed that I've sold out to the corporate vampire that feeds on our national soul, plucking the dream of family business out of the heart of America and selling it to us at low low prices?

Did I mention there's another bin below this one that hasn't even been touched?

Barkeep, um...president's choice soda in a dirty glass.