Tuesday, October 2, 2007

The required Halo post (as required by Internet Rule #47854b-Halo)

I don't play Halo. Didn't get the first one, don't have the second one, sure as hell ain't gonna get the third.

For one, I do NOT own an X-Box.

For two, I have no desire to play a game online against someone who just might be so dedicated that in their living room they're actually in full battle dress. It's also why I don't play Warcraft, as an old coworker once told me that upon waking he kissed his wife then scurried off to his computer to see how his auction then went, and before he could control himself was scurrying off on a new quest...almost forgetting to come to work.

I've played GTA, Civ, Age and some of the others. I game regularly. I'm not a noob.

And now I just read what could be considered blasphemy...on online review calling Halo a sci-incarnation of a Madden.

Now I played Madden back when the game had one team's location listed as "Philly". I bought the old Sega system just so I could play. We held the 32 team round robin double elimination World Championship Tournament in my apartment over 3 days...15 years ago! We're talking ancient history here. I can be safely said, I've played a game or two.

I've seen Halo played. It's Doom in free form, Quake for teams, Duke Nuke'em out of development. It's kids stuff.

I know Madden, I've played Madden, I like Madden, and you sir are no Madden by any stretch of the imagination.

I don't know if I can even continue. I'm so hurt by even the comparison.

Barkeep. Evan Williams and branch water. Yeah, cheap ass Evan Ass Williams.