Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Well, here we go kids...

After much trial and tribulations, lying home brokers and laconic Realtors, last minute surprises and other bumps in the night, last week with the stroke of pen I officially came into debt. I purchased a home on a secluded side street in a developing part of town, and in a few years hope to recoup my investment two fold.

Translation: I bought a foreclosure house in a sketchy neighborhood and after a little work hope to get back double what I paid.

And what a short but strange trip it's been. I'm seriously going to write a letter to my state representative, asking them to pass a law requiring that a) mortgage brokers be licensed and accountable, b) that any home sold in the state of GA marked AS IS come with a list of what the known issues are and c) that little old guys who do handy work should get state funded retirement.

Since I've bought the house it's been one expense after another (okay, everybody told me this part...just not how much), and as we fast approach D-Day some of the amenities I'd hoped to have are going to have to pushed back until tax refund time. Which thanks to the taxes I had to pay at closing should be rather nice. And now I understand why they have all those sales around that time. Sneaky bassids.

Now comes the real problem: Moving.

I hate moving. I think you should be able to call the local lockup and have them send over prisoners to do it for you. A judge should be able to sentence someone to 50 breakage free moves. I hate moving because you have to throw things out, and I'm a pack rat by nature. All kinds of crap I know I haven't looked at in ages. Last night I found a nicely printed copy of one the books I'm working on (I must have four or five in progress), the notes I wrote in like middle school and a map for a comic book that's been rolling around my head for 15 years. And it's throw it out, or take it with me.

Does anyone know the number of Extreme Home Makeover's moving people?

Well, the lights are on, the water is going to be on shortly and the alarm is coming after that. Then it's move in time.

Barkeep. Do you have any Cold Duck?